A/N: Sorry if I haven't updated in awhile, I have been working on a new story, Once Upon a Time in Earth Land, and I also started my senior year in high school so I was pretty occupied. By the way, I hope you all enjoyed the Eclipse yesterday. I bet it was really fun to watch. Okay, on with the story!Chapter 3: Ed Piece - Part 1
Grand Line (One Piece Universe)
On the beach of an unknown island in the Grand Line, six fighters prepared to fight their opponents while the Eds, Goku, Naruto and Edward, watched Luffy, Natsu and Eren confront Luffy's crewmates. They were currently under the spell of the strange force that possessed their minds, something Rolf called 'Special Prosperity'. Luffy smiled confidently at his crewmates, who were about to tear apart their own captain, as well as his other two allies.
"I wonder how this fight is going to turn out." Edd wondered as he and the others watched the battle from the sidelines.
"Probably, gonna be a bloodbath." Eddy muffled while consuming a bag of chips.
"Hey, where'd you get those chips?" Goku asked.
"Had them in Double D's bag. Want some?" Eddy offered the Saiyan chips, which annoyed Edd since Eddy took the chips without permission.
"KISHI O KOROSU HIKARI O KOROSU!!!" Zoro dashed towards Luffy, raising his sword to slash the pirate with, but the latter dodges in time. The swordsman kept slashing his sword but Luffy continued to dodge each strike, until he was backed into a palm tree that he uses as leverage to jump into the air and slams his left heel into the back of Zoro's head. "Is that all ya got, Zoro? HAHAHAHA!!!" Luffy guffawed, as he kept avoiding Zoro's sword.
Meanwhile, Natsu and Sanji threw multiple punches and kicks at each other, while they both dodged their attacks. The Dragon Slayer was able to land a hit on Sanji by using his flame magic to headbutt the opponent. "FIRE DRAGON'S SWORD HORN!" His head slams into Sanji's abdomen, launching him straight into a nearby tree. The blonde man shook off his paralysis and gets back up. "You want some more, blondie?! Alright, let's get it on!" Natsu challenged the pirate, charging at him once more.
The fight between Eren and Nami also transpired, as the scout and female pirate clashed with fury. Nami kept blocking Eren's blades with her staff, which she uses as her primary weapon. The young soldier uses his Vertical Maneuvering Equipment to swing around a palm tree and kick Nami from behind, knocking her down.
"Wow, Eren really knows how to use his vertical gear thing!" Naruto said in awe. "Those are some fast moves!"
"I may have tweaked Eren's Vertical Maneuvering Equipment to add an extra boost in speed. It was tedious, but I was able to successfully fine tune the mechanics of the gear to make it work. Plus, I added an emergency air tank in case Eren runs out." Edd said informatively.
"You never cease to amaze us, Double D." Edward smiled softly.
"That's why he is our little egghead!" Ed said boastingly, hugging Edd tightly while making him suffocate.
"Ed... please! You're crushing... my lungs!" Edd wheezed as he struggled to breathe in Ed's bear hug.
The battle continued on with Luffy taking on Zoro, Natsu fighting Sanji, and Eren beating Nami, with the outcome of the energetic confrontation being inevitable. Luffy continued to strike Zoro with every dodge, and he builds up his final attack, using his Devil Fruit ability to finally pin down the tall swordsman and renders him unconcious. Natsu kicks Sanji in the face with his flaming feet, making him fly high into the air, landing on the deck of the Thousand Sunny. Eren defeats Nami by knocking her out, tossing the redhead into the water.
The dark-red aura leaving the unconcious bodies of the pirates once they were beaten by their opponents. Luffy and Natsu cried in triumph and high-fived each other, while Eren kneeled onto the sandy ground, taking in a breath of relief.
"That was insane! We really kicked some major ass! I thought I was gonna be sweating blood!" Natsu whooped as he sat down and rested on the beach with Eren.
"I wish we didn't have to fight my comrades, though. I think we made too much of a number on them." Luffy sighed as he looked over to Zoro, who was completely blacked out.
"Yeah, but at least that 'Special Prosperity' stuff, or whatever it is, isn't messing with their minds, anymore." Naruto said assuringly.
"Speaking of which, we should probably see that they receive medical attention." Edd reminded the group.
"Right, let's take these guys on Luffy's ship. There might be some bandages or something to patch them up." Goku said as he picked up Zoro.
"Chopper might have some bandages. He's our doctor, so he's usually the one who heals our injuries." Luffy suggested while he and Edward dragged Nami out of the water.
"Wait, don't tell me we're gonna be on that boat are we?! You should all know by now that I get motion-sickness very easily! Especially, when I'm at sea!" Natsu said angrily.
"Big deal, it's just a boat, it's not gonna kill ya!" Eddy scolded the Dragon Slayer.
"Not to worry, Natsu, I can brew you a cup of ginger tea to soothe your troubled nausea." offered Edd.
"But we can't go anywhere if the ship is stuck on the beach." Eren said pointing to the ship.
"I can help, guys! Alley-oop!" Ed said as he picked everyone up, receiving an yelp in surprise from the latter, and throws them onto the ship. He then, starts pushing the Thousand Sunny into the sea. Once the ship got into the water, Ed climbed up the side of the wooden vessel with the help of his friends.
Just when the ship is pushed into the water, the remaining crewmembers of the Straw Hats came out from the thick jungle on the island. The group of pirates consisted of a long-nosed man named Usopp, a talking reindeer named Tony Tony Chopper, a dark-haired girl named Nico Robin, a cyborg named Franky, and a skeleton named Brook.
"Did we lose them?" Chopper said as he panted due to running around the island.
"I think so. Man, I never thought Nami, Zoro and Sanji would ine day turn on us. Then again, I did kinda figure Nami to be a bit of a psychopath." Usopp figured.
"Who cares?! Let's just go find a place to hide before they find us again!" Brook panicked while his entire body rattled with fear.
"Why don't we lock them up in the bridge? That way they won't be able to kill us." Robin suggested.
"But they're still our comrades! We can't just cage them like animals!" Chopper said worriedly.
"What do you know? You're a reindeer." Brook questioned.
"Well, you're a skeleton, aren't you supposed to be dead?" Chopper sassed the skeleton.
"Hey, where did the boat go?" Franky asked as they looked to where the Thousand Sunny was and noticed it was gone. Panic clouded the minds of the Straw Hats as they looked for the missing ship until they see it drifting away from the shore.
"The Sunny's leaving without us!" panicked Usopp.
"Quick, after it!" yelled Chopper as they all came yelling after the boat and proceeded to chase it down the shoreline.
Meanwhile, somewhere in the Grand Line
Elsewhere, out on the choppy waters of the Grand Line, a menacing pirate ship made of metal, sailed through the waters, prowling the high seas, in search of victims.
A ship, manned by the Marines, was in the path of the colossal ship as it was making its designated path through the Grand Line. On the deck of the metal ship, one of the vessel's officers came up to the bridge and reported to the captain. "Captain, sir, there's another ship crossing our path. We have confirmation that it is a Marine vessel, sir."
The captain was silent before giving his order. "Then by all means... ram'em down." He said chillingly as the officer received the command.
"Full ramming speed!" The officer shouted, as the helmsman turned the wheel sharply, steering the monster ship head on towards the smaller boat. The engines down below increased in speed, turning the propellers attached to the stern at maximum speed. The bow of the ship was close to plowing into the wooden pirate ship, which barely had time to turn away. The curved front of the metal ship pierced the starboard side of the boat, breaking it apart piece by piece, chunk after chunk, until the bisected ship sinks, taking all of the unfortunate souls on board with it.
Claiming, yet another victim, the metal pirate ship sailed on as usual. The wrath of The Cobbler, once again, strikes the heart of the ocean.
The Thousand Sunny
After going back to the island to retrieve the other Straw Hats, The Thousand Sunny continued on with its voyage now that the captain of the Straw Hats has finally returned. While Luffy was catching up with his crew, the Eds and the other heroes went about their business aboard the ship.
"YEAH! I'm the king of the water! WOO!!!" Naruto laughed and whooped while standing on the foremast of the Sunny with his arms out. "Natsu, you gotta try this!"
Natsu, meanwhile, wasn't feeling well as he was prone to getting seasick. He felt like throwing up, but the bile in his throat stayed down, even though the ship kept rocking him back and forth. "No... thank you. Ugh, I hate sailing." The Dragon Slayer moaned.
"Here's that ginger tea, Natsu. Careful, it's hot." Edd forewarned Natsu, handing him the cup of tea. But the fire mage gulps it down anyway, since heat doesn't bother him.
"Ah, thanks, Double D. I think I'm feeling a lot better." beamed Natsu while rubbing his stomach tenderly.
Nami, wrapped in bandages, was resting on a deck chair when Eddy came up to the redhead and attempted to seduce her. "Hey... how you doing?" Eddy said suavely.
"Can I help you?" Nami asked with a tone as cold as ice.
"Well, I couldn't help but notice that heaven was shining down on you, so I came to see if you were an angel or not." Eddy charmed the female pirate, who wasn't even close to being charmed by the Ed-boy's pick-up line.
But then she smirks.
"Tell you what, if you give me some 'interest', I might give you a kiss." Nami smiled slyly.
"Oh, I see. Lemme just get my--" Eddy stopped when he realized that the pocket that he kept his wallet in was empty. "Hey, where'd my wallet go?!"
"Looking for this?" Nami taunted as she waved Eddy's wallet around.
"Why, you little thief! Give it back!" Eddy tried to swipe it back from the redhead but she holds him back with one hand while she looked through his wallet.
"Seriously, your middle name is Skipper? Your parents aren't very imaginative, are they?" Nami said mockingly.
"Just shut up and gimme my wallet back!" Eddy suddenly got picked up by Sanji, who was bandaged and not very happy to see the short Ed messing with his friend.
"Hey! Back off, little man! She's off the market!" Sanji growled.
"Your girlfriend here took my wallet! I want it back!" Eddy snapped back at the blonde pirate.
"I am not his girlfriend, not in a million years!" Nami bickered throwing the wallet back to its owner.
"Yeah, you heard her, blondie! Now put me down!" Eddy yelled at the pirate cook, who almost immediately drops him.
"Whatever, it's not like I have any competition with someone that small." Sanji smirked, which irritated Eddy.
"Stupid, blonde jerk! Man, he reminds me of that Shovel Chin, Kevin! Speaking of which, I wonder whatever happened to him and the other kids. We almost know what happened to Rolf, but where could they be?" Eddy grumbled to himself as he went his own way around the ship.
While that was going on, Goku and Edward were playing cards with Usopp and Nico Robin and it looks as though Usopp was winning. "Well, well, well, looks like somebody's got a Royal Flush! Guess Daddy's gonna get a new pair of shoes!" Usopp boasted showing his hand to the other players.
Goku and Robin folded, seeing as how they can't compete with a Flush. Edward, however, smiled confidently. "I don't think so, Pinnochio. Check it." The alchemist laid his hand down, revealing it to be a Full House. "I win."
"WHAT?! I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT OWNED BY A MIDGET!!!" Usopp yelled as he threw his deck of cards into the air with rage.
"Wow, that's impressive." Robin smiled softly.
"I didn't know you were good at Poker, Edward." Goku said.
"I always beat Roy in a game or two. It takes a lot of strategy and intuition. It's kinda like Chess, but with cards." Edward explained.
Eren and Chopper looked out into the endless sea, staring at the tranquil view that captivated the young scout. "So this is the ocean, huh. It's just as amazing as I imagined it would be." Eren watched with stars in his eyes as the Sunny glided through the infinite current that carries the ship.
"Yup, it sure is awesome. You know, this whole world we live in is mostly just water." Chopper elaborated.
"Really? There's not much land at all?" Eren asked surpirsingly.
"Well, we do have the Red Line, which is just one big continent that wraps around the world! There are also thousands of islands that are scattered across the seas." Chopper continued.
"The world I live is just one continent also. But from where I live, I rarely go outside." Eren said sadly, tilting his head down.
"Well, you're outside aren't you? Take a good look around! You might see some dolphins or a whale! Like that big pod over there!" Chopper pointed towards a group of red aqautic-like creatures jumping out of the water. Eren smiled widely as he watched the mammals jump playfully.
Meanwhile with Ed and Brook, the skeleton musician was strumming on his guitar while sipping a cup of tea when Ed came up to him. "Nice beats, bone daddy!" Ed said smoothly, which brought attention from Brook, which made him feel praised.
"Ah, a music fan aren't you?" Brook asked.
"Well, I do dabble with the violin." Ed blushed.
"What a coincidence! I love to play the violin too!" beamed Brook as he handed Ed his violin. "Do you think you can play?"
"Huh-uh, huh-uh!" Ed nodded as he started playing the stringed instrument, shouting the name of each note that he made, which only produced sour notes, making the skeleton cringe and cover ears until he couldn't take it no more.
"STOP! STOP! I thought you knew how to play the violin?" Brook said painfully.
"My Mom makes me take lessons, sometimes." Ed explained.
"Why would your mother make you play an instrument that you're not good at?" Brook asked sympathetically.
"She said it would help me be creative." Ed continued to explain.
"Well, maybe you're not meant to play the violin. It's like I always say, it's the instrument that chooses the musician, not the other way around." Brook advised the tall Ed-boy.
"Oh, what about an instrument that you can blow on?" Ed suggested.
"Works for me! I think I have a piece of brass here somewhere." Brook rummaged through his luggage until he finally pulls out an old saxophone. "Try this one for size!"
Ed takes the saxophone and blows on it, only this time he started to make eloquent notes emanate from the brass instrument.
"Yeah! Jazz! That's more like it!" Brook picked up his violin and joined in as the two made beautiful sounds that combined both Jazz and Country/Folk music.
During that time, Luffy conversed with Zoro about the events that happened while he was gone for the last day or two. "So what happened to you, Sanji and Nami? How did you guys get, you know, infected by that red stuff?" Luffy asked the tall, green-haired man.
"The last thing I remember was the Sunny being chased by this giant, metal ship, called The Cobbler." Zoro explained to the captain. "Then when we were marooned on that island back there, I blacked out. Couldn't remember a thing."
"Yeah, that's definitely the 'Special Prosperity' that hit ya." Luffy figured.
"What's that?" Zoro asked.
"It's the same thing that messed with Naruto, Natsu and Eren. We don't know what it is, or where it came from, but it's pretty bad." Luffy continued to explain.
"Man, what did we do when we were all hyped up on that stuff?" Zoro asked while holding on to his throbbing head.
"Well, we kinda punched you guys around. A lot. Like really hard! It was fun!" Luffy smiled humorously, which made Zoro roll his eyes.
Suddenly, the ship started to swerve violently to the port side, making all the crewmembers and the extra passengers lurch over and fall down on the deck. When the ship was at level again, everyone got back on their feet, wondering what made the ship list like that.
"Geez, what the hell was that?" Sanji groaned as he lifted himself back up.
"Okay, who's the idiot that's driving this piece of driftwoo--" Natsu exclaimed before starting to feel sick again. "Crap... I think I need more ginger tea."
"Sorry about that captain," Franky apologized. "But I spotted something that you really needed to see!"
The cyborg pointed to a certain direction while handing Luffy a telescope. He pointed the spyglass towards where Franky was pointing to, and was left speechless when he saw what was in that direction.
"What is it, Luffy? What do you see?" Naruto asked concernly as he came up to the bridge with the others. The Straw Hat captain gave the telescope to the shinobi who looked through it and saw the bow of a wrecked ship, still bobbing in the water.
"A shipwreck!" gasped Naruto, as Luffy nodded in reply.
"There might be survivors nearby. Franky, bring the ship to a stop! Usopp, Nami, weigh anchor!" ordered Luffy as his crewmates did as told, stopping the ship and dropping anchor.
The ship was close enough for everone to get a good look at the tragic scene. The rippled surface of the water was littered with debris. Pieces of the ship, cargo, and life preservers among other things, scattered the area of the wreck site. It was deathly quiet as there were no other living souls to be seen.
"What happened here?" Goku said as he stared at the sunken wreckage.
"It looks like it may have been an accident. Perhaps they collided with a shipping vessel or maybe a reef." Edd assumed.
"I dunno, it looks like it's been mowed down by something enormous." Edward said while analyzing the condition of the wreck.
"Whatever it is, we have to see if there are any survivors left. Man the rowboats!" ordered Luffy as the Straw Hats prepared the rowboats in an effort to rescue survivors.
"Zoro, Sanji, you come with me. Robin and Usopp, you go with Nami. The rest of you stay on the ship. If we find any survivors, give them first aid as well as blankets and warm drinks." Luffy's usual goofy expression turned serious as he commanded the crew of the Thousand Sunny.
"Weird, I haven't seen Luffy act like this before." Naruto said surpirsingly.
"Quite frankly, I find him to be a very courageous leader." Edd smiled admirably.
"So, he's a pirate captain, he's still as dumb as Monobrow, here." Eddy gestured to Ed, who was off in his own little world again.
"I wouldn't underestimate Luffy if I were you, Eddy. I can already tell, there's a lot to him than we expect him to be." Edward reminded the latter.
"Hey, guys, Natsu doesn't look very good. Do you think he needs to take a nap?" Ed asked as he pointed to Natsu, who was still suffering from motion-sickness.
"Somebody get me off this stupid boat!" Natsu said sickly, as he held his stomach tenderly while trying to hold back the bile in his mouth.
"He'll be fine." Edward assured the group as Natsu finally couldn't take it anyomore and throws up off the side of the ship. "I guess."
As the crew prepared to launch the rowboats, Eren and Goku stepped in to offer their assistance. "Luffy, me and Eren were wondering if we could help you guys out. I could fly over the water to get a better view of the debris field, while Eren can go with you in the boats." Goku offered as Eren stepped up to the Straw Hat captain.
"Please, Luffy, as your comrade I want to volunteer in any way that I can. Just so that we would save as many lives as possible." Eren implored.
Luffy looked at his two allies and smiled proudly for their valor. "Then, by all means, go ahead!"
Goku and Eren nodded, as the saiyan hovers off the ship and goes off to search the wreck site. Eren also joins the search party as they drop the rowboats into the water and began their search for survivors. The rescuing pirates scoured the area of the sunken ship. They searched for at least ten minutes but have yet locate any survivors... or bodies for that matter.
"Ya see anything yet, guys?" Luffy asked as he scanned the water for any movement.
"Nah, nothing. Not a single soul to be seen." replied Zoro as he rowed the boat.
Eren and Sanji were sitting in the back of the boat, with the Straw Hat's chef manning the tiller, when he pulls out a pack of cigarettes, puts one in his mouth and lights it. He puffs the tobacco-scented smoke from his mouth when he notices Eren looking at him. "Oh, sorry, you wanna smoke?"
"No, thank you. I was just... observing." The scout said awkwardly as the blond man inhaled his cigarette.
The four of them sat quietly for awhile until Zoro spoke up. "You don't think we waited too long, don'cha think?"
"What do you mean?" Luffy inquired.
"I'm just saying, there's probably nobody else alive. Even if some of them, somehow survived the sinking, then they may not have lasted in the water this long." Zoro figured. "I'm not trying to be negative or anything, but--"
"Don't say that!" Eren suddenly jumped out of his seat, glaring at the swordsman. "There has to be at least one person still alive out here! Just because it seems impossible, doesn't mean it's not, you have to take that chance!"
"Calm down, Eren, it was just a what-if question. It's not that big of a deal." Luffy said calmingly as he tried to quell the angry youth.
"A what-if? A WHAT-IF?! If your own comrades were drowning in the sea, you wouldn't just sit there and wonder if they are alive or not, you would jump in to save them! This isn't politics, dammit!" Eren yelled as his voice got more and more intense.
"You need to take it down a notch, kid, we're only trying to help--" Zoro said before being interrupted again.
"HELPING?!?! All you're doing is sitting in a boat, waiting for someone to cry for help! You call THAT helping?!" Eren screeched loudly enough to echo across the sea.
Sanji has had enough of this banter, so he grabs Eren by the shoulders and pushes him down into the seat, which was hard enough to disturb the boat. "Here, take this." Sanji gives the enraged boy a white cigarette which had twisted end on it.
"I said I didn't want your stupid tobacco!" Eren snapped as he caught the cigarette in his hand.
"It's not tobacco, it's something that's gonna calm you down. Now, light it." The blond chef tosses the lighter to Eren who hesitates for a moment before he does as told. He inhales the cigarette, which made him cough a little, but it made him feel a little more mellow.
"Better?" Sanji asked, to which the youth replied with a nod. "Good. I always carry a little bit of Mary Jane with me to keep me calm when I'm stressed. But I figured you need it more than I do."
"Listen, Eren, I know you're anxious about this, but there's always the possibility that we may not be able to find anyone alive. But I know what you're getting at, if anybody gets into trouble, then it's our duty to help in any way we can, even if it is hopeless." Luffy said firmly.
"I know what you mean. Where I'm from, everyone is always dying. My fellow scouts, my friends, even my own mother. It's so messed up. I didn't want the same to happen to anyone else." Eren said calmly as he took another puff from the weed. "I also don't want the same to happen to you, or Goku, Naruto, Natsu or Edward. Not even the Eds, those goofballs."
"Yeah, I really like them, too." Luffy smiled, when suddenly Eren got up from his seat and hugged the Straw Hat.
"I'm sorry, Luffy! Let's never fight again!" Eren said tearfully as tears flowed from his eyes as hugged Luffy tightly.
"It's okay, I forgive you." Luffy said comfortingly as he patted Eren on the head. "Wow, that weed is very strong, Sanji. Where do you get this stuff?"
"I have my ways." Sanji smirked, patting the pocket of his jacket.
Just then, Goku came flying over to their rowboat, carrying an unconcious Marine. "Guys, I found a survivor, he's still alive! He's just unconscious is all!"
"That's great, Goku! Just take him back to the Sunny and we'll help him." Luffy said as he gave him a thumbs up.
"Hey, do I smell weed?" Goku asked as he sniffed the air.
"Goku, do you think we're not alone in the universe? Do you think there are other people in other worlds besides us?" Eren asked philosophically while wiping the tears from his eyes.
"Yeah, I think he's had enough weed." Zoro takes the weed from Eren's hand and throws it into the ocean.
Meanwhile on the Cobbler
As the Cobbler was anchored in the waters of the Grand Line, along with four other ships, belonging to the current pirate captains that rule the seas of New World. The ship's four main commanders were gathered in the war room. One of them was a large man wearing a standard pirate outfit, known by the name of Marshall D. Teach, also known by his pirate persona as Blackbeard. The second is a tall, slender man in a frilly pink coat with sunglasses concealing his eyes, named Donquixote Doflamingo, also known as Joker. The third is a gigantic, elderly woman with horrendous facial features, dressed in a pink dress, named Charlotte Linlin, her pirate name, Big Mom. Lastly, the fourth commander is a large, muscular man with a stitched scar across his face, dressed very sharply, and donned a large golden hook in place of his left hand. His name, Sir Crocodile.
The big four were gathered in the Captain's Quarters as they waited for their fifth ally to attend this important meeting. "So, here we are. The Blackbeard pirates, the Big Mom pirates, the Donquixote pirates, and myself included. Quite a gathering, if you ask me." Sir Crocodile said smoothly, as he took in another puff of his cigar.
"Why did the captain of the Cobbler pirates even invite us here? If he thinks that he is the most powerful pirate in the sea, why couldn't he try to take us out? Does he not see us as enemies?" Blackbeard asked suspiciously.
"That's a good point there, Teach. How come this Captain Cobbler hasn't tried to attack our forces? Compared to us, he's already strong enough to be one of the toughest pirates in the world. He already has a bounty of over 900,000,000 Bellies. That's almost as high as Monkey D. Luffy's bounty." informed Doflamingo.
"Yeah! You should've seen that guy! I heard he wiped out an entire fleet of Marine ships! And do you remember, Buggy, that ugly clown pirate? He disappeared not too long ago and I heard that Captain Cobbler had something to do with it!" muffled Big Mom as she stuffed cake into her mouth. "Ooh, I just love this cake! The chefs on this ship are so brilliant!"
"Oh, please, those are obviously just rumors. If Cobbler really is the pirate he says he is, then why doesn't he just show himself? He might as well be worthless to me." Crocodile said condescendingly.
"If he's really that worthless, then how did he get a ship this HUGE?! I mean, I have a pretty big ship myself, but not one made of steel... and with propellers!" Blackbeard said enviously.
"Yup, it is a pretty rad ship." said an unknown voice, which drew attention from the other pirate captains to the doorway leading into the Captain's Quarters. "Sorry, if I was running late. But then again, you might have been a little early."
The voice came from the dark figure that stood in the doorway, who stepped into the light and revealed himself to be an adolescent boy, dressed in a green coat and wore a red pirate captain's hat, with a flaming peach mascot. His eyes were also red and pinpricked. Almost immediately, the pirate captains erupted into laughter, realizing that so-called 'Captain Cobbler', is just a kid.
"Wait, don't tell me! You're the captain of the Cobbler pirates?! What bullsh*t is this?!" Doflamingo gasped as he continued to laugh hysterically.
"MAMAMAMAMA!!! He's so small! He must be a least, 6 years old! HAHAHAHAHAHAMAMAMAMA!!!" Big Mom cackled, who nearly fell out of chair laughing.
"Uhh, no, dude, I'm like, thirteen. Now, can we--" Captain Cobbler tried to speak, but kept being interrupted by the pirates' mocking.
"Aww, what's wrong little baby? Did you lose your rattle? AHAHAHAHA!!" Blackbeard bellowed.
"Alright... cut it out..." Captain Cobbler seethed, as he tried to maintain his composure.
"Where's your mommy and daddy, kid? Do we need to call them so they can come and change your diaper?" Crocodile mocked Cobbler even further, which made the laughter grow even louder.
Cobbler's rage was about to boil over when one of his officers came up to him. "Sir, do you want them to be executed?"
Cobbler exasperated a shaky breath before finally calming down. "Nah, it's cool, I got this. So, do you guys know Buggy the clown pirate?"
"Yeah, what of it?" Blackbeard wiping a tear in his eye as he started to calm down.
"There have been some rumors about his sudden disappearance, and I just wanted to say, I am here to put those rumors to rest." Cobbler said nonchalantly. "He is actually here with us in this room right now."
He then reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a sack. He puts his hand into the sack and he pulls out something very gruesome that not even the twisted eyes of the four pirate captains could even comprehend. The decapitated head of Buggy.
The criminal pirates went wide-eyed as they witnessed the head of one of the former Shichibukai, held in the hands of a young pirate war lord. Sir Crocodile gasped at the sight, while Big Mom screamed and Doflamingo spit out his beer in shock.
"WHAT... THE... HELL?!" Blackbeard trembled in fear, nearly throwing up at the slowly rotting head.
"You wanna know why I killed this dorky clown? Because he refused to accept an offer that not even he could refuse! That, AND he made me angry, just by calling me a baby! Is that what you dorks want, huh?! Do you wanna end up like your friend here?!" Cobbler growled at the pirate lords as his voice got even louder.
"You're bluffing!" Doflamingo challenged the young pirate captain.
"Does it look like I'm bluffing?! Buggy, here, didn't think so! So does anybody else wanna say something about me being a baby? Huh?! HUH?! GO ON, I DARE YA!!!" Cobbler screeched at the pirates, making most of them flinch with terror, with the exception of Crocodile, who only stared at Cobbler unfazed.
"I didn't think so." hissed Cobbler, drop-kicking the head, sending it flying out the window and into the sea. He sat down in his seat and smiled as he put his feet up on the table. "Now that I have your attention, I have a proposition for you."
"We're listening." gulped Blackbeard.
"Have you ever heard of the Miracle Worker?" Cobbler inquired.
"Not particularly." Crocodile said as he crossed his arms.
"Tell me, what is it that you want most in life?" Cobbler inticed the pirate lords.
"Does it have to be specific?" Doflamingo asked.
"CAKE! I... love... cake! It's only the greatest dessert in the world!" beamed Big Mom, shoving another handful of cake in her mouth.
"Okay, so let's say you wanted cake. Who do you go to? A baker? Or maybe, the Miracle Worker, obviously." Cobbler said casually. "He can grant you any wish or desire... for a favor, at least."
"What kind of favor?" Blackbeard inquired.
The young captain was silent for a moment before answering. "Help me take down the World Government, and the Miracle Worker will pay you handsomely."
The pirate gasped at this new revelation as they know well enough that attacking the World Government can result in a massive war between the pirate armies, and the government itself. "ARE YOU CRAZY?! THAT'S SUICIDE!!!" Blackbeard shouted.
"That's insane! If we rebel against the government they'll kill us all!" shrieked Big Mom.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with you idiots. This could lead to complete chaos and anarchy. I for one prefer order, thank you very much." Crocodile refused.
"Now hold on a minute, think about it: If there really is a Miracle Worker that can grant us our personal wishes, we can use it to our advantage! Plus, without the World Government riding up my ass, I can use it to find the One Piece!" Doflamingo smirked as the wheels in his head began to turn.
"Hey! Who said you would find the One Piece! What if I wanna find it?!" Blackbeard interjected.
"I am the patriarch of the Charlotte family, therefore I should have the One Piece! I deserve to be Queen of the Pirates, a BILLION times more than you two airheads!" Big Mom butted in, as the quarrel between the three pirate lords was instigated.
Crocodile just sat back in chair and gripped the bridge of his nose with annoyance while Cobbler tried to quell the argument. "Gentlmen, lady, let's not fight. Why find the One Piece, when the Miracle can make you all Pirate Kings, and Queen."
The three looked at each other and nodded in agreement. "All who are in agreement to combine our armies and destroy the World Government, say 'Aye'!" Cobbler said as the latter replied with 'Aye', while only Crocodile begrudgingly agrees to it.
"Good answer." smiled Cobbler.
"Ooh! How about in celebration of our new alliance, let's have a TEA PARTY!!!" Big Mom said giddily.
"What?" Cobbler asked before Blackbeard came up to him and whispered in his ear, which convinces him otherwise. "Okay, sure, whatever."
"YAY!!! We can have tea, fancy guests, and a big wedding cake! Ooh, it's going to be GRAAAAANNNNDDD!!!" cheered Big Mom as she hugged Doflamingo and Crocodile with glee, making them suffocate.
Unbeknownst to the latter, however, they were being watched by one of Yuna's drones. As she watched their dastardly plan unfold in the Space Lift, she knew that she had to share this information with her team, the Otaku Squad. "I gotta tell Luffy and the others about this, before it's too late!"
A/N: Just so you know, regarding that scene with Eren smoking marijuana, I do NOT endorse the smoking of weed or other herbal substances, that was only for humor and entertainment. Don't forget to read and review, and be sure to check out my new crossover between Fairy Tail and Disney, Once Upon a Time in Earth Land.