Anchor. Chapter 7
There is few things that can put Sirius in as bad of a mood as Severus Snape. They would hate each other until the day they died and it was obvious the no one could do anything about it.
Sirius paced around his living room like a caged animal. He was enraged, not just that Severus had been there but that he now had the perfect opportunity to make Harry's life hell.
"I don't trust him, Remus! He is still on their side, I'm sure of it! And now he has the chance to weaken Harry's defenses against Voldemort even more-"
"Sirius, we have discussed this. Dumbledore is a greater wizard than you and I could ever hope to be. He trusts Severus. Why is that not enough for you too?"
Sirius rounded on him, eyes boring down on him. "Dumbledore can make mistakes. He is only human. He betrayed us once before and I will never forget it!"
Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing. "Please, distrust will only make it more like last time. We must learn to at least tolerate one another. Believe me, Sirius, I will never seek friendship with him. He has taken too much from me. But I do understand that we are fighting for a common cause. So I must believe that he is on our side. Do you remember the last time distrust tore us apart?"
His voice was soft and gentle. He meant no harm by his words. But there was no way to keep a small undertone of accusation from slipping out.
Sirius was silent, eyes staring hard at the floor. Yes, he remembered. He lost all trust and faith in Remus. The end result was James and Lily's death, Harry being sent off to a negligent family, Remus spending his life in poverty and starvation, and Sirius being imprisoned for twelve long years.
Remus saw the immediate guilt on Sirius' face and regretted what he said. Though innocent, Sirius felt everything was his fault. He made that obvious when he told Harry that he as good as killed James.
He put his hands on the sides of Sirius' somber face, guiding it up. "Please, I didn't mean that."
"It's the truth."
"It wasn't your fault. You hade every right to believe that there was a traitor in our midst."
Sirius shook his head, freeing himself of Remus' hold. "I had no right to believe it was you. You did everything you could for the cause, it was obvious that you were the last one to ever betray Lily and James over to Voldemort."
"Sirius, that's enough. We both know that you meant no harm to them. You loved James just as much as I did- no, more. He was your brother. Peter deceived us. Now, please, don't push me away when I am merely trying to fix the damage that I have done." He put his arms around Sirius' neck, kissing him softly. It was odd how natural that felt now. It still had the tingle of new lips but it also bore a familiarity that came from a lifetime of love. As if they had been joined at the lips for as long as they could remember.
When they broke apart, Sirius stared hard into Remus' beautiful eyes. He searched deep into them, looking for evidence that this was a dream. He had suffered for so long, spent years tormented by his darkest thoughts only to escape to a life of starvation and running away from capture. It seemed hard to believe that now he was in warm house, though it was one he swore as a teenager never to return to, with clean clothes, three meals a day, and someone to spend it with.
Once he was convinced that it was real and not just a prolonged dream as he lay on the cold hard dirt of some forest, he kissed Remus again.
"Come. Arthur is home. We should be good host and greet them."
Remus gave him a smile and nodded.
As time passed, they spoke nothing of their plan to chase the moon again. Sirius knew Remus was a good man so he would never go back on his word but he secretly worried that he was asking too much. Dumbledore gave Remus everything, providing him with opportunities that no other werewolf ever knew. For that, Remus lived forever in debt to the elderly professor. He hated going against him, doing everything he could to make sure that everything went the way Dumbledore planned. When they were young, Remus' excitement of having company on the full moons was shadowed with guilt that he was betraying the trust that the Headmaster put in him. When Sirius was on the run, attempting over and over to break into Hogwarts, his shame was only intensified. Now, he must be feeling that sting of guilt once more.
Sirius couldn't help but hope that Remus would choose him over Dumbledore, choose to give him a taste of freedom. In the back of his mind, he knew he had no worries. Since they were young, Remus always gave him what he wanted.
One night, Remus came home about two o'clock. He stumbled in the front door, chest heaving. As always, Sirius was bounding down the stairs to greet him. He saw the exertion and frowned.
"What wrong?"
In the darkness, he saw Remus shake his head.
Sirius raised his wand, "Lumos."
"Nox."
The light went out almost immediately. The men stood in silence, Sirius tall and towering, Remus weak and leaning against he door for support.
Sirius attempted to keep his voice even, free of the anger that was welling in his chest. "Remus, let me see you."
"No."
It was a useless battle, Remus knew this. He meant to go anywhere other then Grimmauld Place but in his panic and hastiness, he simply apparated to the first place he knew he would be safe. He bore no cloak so his thin shirt offered no protection from the flurries of snow and bitter cold, forcing him into the house. Now, he knew eventually he would have to let him see the damage.
He saw the shadow of Sirius draw closer but he had nowhere to go. He couldn't slip past him and if he tried to go outside he knew Sirius would chase him, resulting in the risk of being seen.
So he stood still. His face was screaming in agony, begging for some type of healing charm or potion.
Sirius long fingers gently grazed his cheek, feeling the wetness. He hoped it was tears but with one close look he saw the tips were stained with a dark crimson liquid. Remus hissed at his touch, squeezing his eyes shut.
"Remus," he croaked, heart dropping, "let me see. Maybe I can fix it." Though he wasn't as good as Poppy, he knew a little about medical magic.
He raised his wand once more and muttered "Lumos".
Remus looked at the wall as Sirius surveyed the damage. The whole left side of his face was swollen mass of bruises and cuts. Blood streamed from a particularly deep gash under his eye, which had been closed shut among the swelling.
Sirius was at a lost, he wasn't even angry anymore. This time, he didn't want to find Greyback and rip his head off. He didn't want to rush out and blast every dark creature he laid eyes on. He wanted to take Remus into is arms and take the pain away.
So he did. He closed the distance and held the emaciated body to his. There was nothing he could say so he guided Remus' down to the floor, biting his lip as Remus groaned at the action, and into his lap.
"Sirius-"
"Shhhh"
Sirius placed his wand against the numerous injuries, whispering spells and charms. He watched as the intensity of the bruises dulled, from deep blacks, blues, and purples, to grotesque greens and yellows. He gently tapped his wand against the gash and healed it to the best of his knowledge. It didn't close fully but it stopped bleeding and looked almost half healed. Remus didn't try to speak again. He stayed in Sirius' lap, eyes focused on the wall as his head was laying on the solid chest and his hands clutched at Sirius shirt. He was still hurting but it was much more bearable now. He had regretted his decision to go to Sirius at first since he knew that it would spark the man's temper but now he couldn't help but feel grateful. He had never felt more safe then he did at this moment, engulfed in the arms of a man who he had loved since he knew what love was.
He considered the fact that despite not wanting to come to the house at first, it was where he ended up. What did it mean when he thinks about safety and finds himself apparating here?
"Kreacher!" Sirius called.
The ancient house elf trudged into the room, barely able to stand upright. They had hidden their relationship from him so his already huge eyes bulged at the sight before him. Sirius didn't pay it any mind.
"Get me some warm damp rags, a blanket, and some clean clothes. He is shivering."
Kreacher nodded and disappeared down the hall. He got the rags himself and used his magic to have a thick quilt and one of Sirius' shirts and trousers levitate down the stairs.
Sirius gave him a nod and dismissed him, turning his attention to the injured quivering man in his lap.
"Are there any more places that hurt?"
Remus gave a feeble nod, "My ribs. I think he may have broken one."
Sirius gently applied pressure in several spots along his rib cage, frowning at how severely Remus' ribs were protruding. He seemed to be losing weight again.
Finally he found the spot that made Remus gasp and tighten his grip on Sirius' shirt. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I can't fix broken bones but I will find someone who can. Maybe even get Poppy in here."
He laid him down on the hard floor and began to remove his clothes, which where damp with sweat, blood, and snow. Remus was shivering, weak, and it broke Sirius' heart. He wished he could do something, anything to have prevented this. He used the rags to clean his skin, wiping all the grime off him. He paid special attention to the bruised rib, trying to soothe some of the pain.
When Remus' pale skin was so clean that it glowed like moonlight, he slid his shirt and trousers onto him, using a spell to keep the pants on Remus' far too small hips.
"What happened?" he finally built the courage to ask. He was on all fours above Remus', who was spread out on his back, defenseless and vulnerable. His body was hidden by the oversized clothes and blanket. The only light that had was from Sirius' wand, which was next to them. It illuminated the uninjured side of Remus' face, leaving the swollen and discolored half in darkness.
"He came to me and told me that he wanted me to join them. Said it wasn't an option."
Sirius furrowed his eyebrows. "But he has been trying to enlist you for months. Why is this different?"
Remus shook his head and let out a shaky breath. "Not him, Sirius."
Sirius was confused. Not Greyback? Who else?
And then it hit him, immediately followed by a wave of panic that forced his breath from him.
Voldemort.
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