Trouble
I am desperately trying to be a helpful member of the cleanup crew, but I am far to slow in comparison with my mother and Esme who appear to dancing about cleaning as they go. I look around and press my hand over my mouth as another yawn overtakes me.
'It is fine Mary-Alice, you can go to bed.' Jasper says trying and failing to hide an amused smile. He has taken to call me by my full name as mom has a few weeks ago.
'It's a pity the birthday girl abandoned us, since she is so much faster than you.' Emmett chirps in and laughs loudly when I throw an unattended bowl of chips at him. I giggle with amusement when he manages to catch the bowl but not the content, the chips hit him on the face, chest and legs. 'Careful now.' He warns pretending to be upset.
Felix who is walking into the room growls a low warning. After spending the day with werewolves I realize yet again how big he really is. He is not as tall as them but he is broader and thicker through the shoulders.
'Jeez, dude chill!' Emmett says falling back into the seat with the sound of crunching chips. He sounds like the werewolves, he enjoyed their company today. I did to.
'He was just playing.' I explain to Felix who kisses me on the cheek. A habit that has been in place since a day after he sort of joined the Cullen clan, as he calls them.
'Cara mia.' He greets and smiles broadly. 'I know.' He looks towards Emmett, his chuckle low and slightly menacing. 'But sometimes he needs to be put in his place.'
'Ah, Felix.' Carlisle greets as he also now joins those of us remaining after the day's event. 'How was your day?'
'Fine, thank you, and yours?' he looks around sniffing the air. 'By the smell, there was a whole pack of them.'
'The day was... joyous.' Carlisle smiles faintly. 'Rosalie and Jacob seem to finally be getting along.'
'No, we don't, I was just being nice.' She denies the statement as she sashays closer to me. 'Go get in bed, little one before you swallow us all.' She insists as I try to cover another yawn.
'Alright then. Goodnight.' I hug Rosalie and then slowly track everyone down in the house to give them a hug.
'No funny business you two!' Emmett yells after me and Felix as we climb the stairs to my room. I roll my eyes – a habit I picked up from Bella. Felix is muttering things in Italian, never a good sign, except when he is talking to me. I take his hand to prevent him from doing anything stupid – that is going to happen very soon if Emmett persists on this path – and lead him upstairs.
No matter what Emmett insinuates, nothing has happened between us. We have slowly become friends but in all honesty I am terrified of Felix. His memories reminds me of the monster Jasper once was, making that comparison is possibly the reason I have allowed him to stick around. Mom made Jasper almost human again, love seems capable of doing that. I giggle softly and Felix raises and eyebrow questioningly.
'I was just thinking of a gift Nessie received from Sue. The Walt Disney classic, Beauty and the beast. We watched it with the whole party's guests.' I laugh out loud remembering some of the remarks. 'It was lots of fun.'
I let go of his hand and stand still at the door of my room, unsure what to do.
'I'll wait for you outside. Call when you are ready.' Felix whisper.
'Okay.'
'Don't take too long.' He taunts and blinks playfully.
I stick out my tongue and shut the door.
'What did you do all day?' I ask as I strip off the party dress. Rosalie and mom had a stand up argument about what dress I'll be wearing and then they almost had a fist fight about how to do Nessie's hair. Bella was the one who saved the day by insisting to do it herself.
'I went swimming. I tried to hunt again.' More Italian. He has started to hunt animals. He hated it more than I did the first time round. I have never seen a vampire almost hurl until that day. 'How about you?'
'Well, it was lots of fun. You should stick around next time; for my birthday.' Now it is my turn to mutter. Mom is insisting on organizing the celebration for my birthday, I shudder to think what she will do. I saw a memory of Bella's eighteenth, a frightening sight. 'The whole werewolf pack was here. Or rather both of them, I finally got to meet Sam Ulley today. Charlie and Sue was here. It was all very loud. Nessie really enjoyed it a lot.' I smile. We have become sisters, true sisters. I gave her a small gift but her joy about it was real. 'She liked her gift.'
'I told you she would.'
I open the door and show him in.
'Did you at least have some fun?' I ask as I jump on my bed and pat the space next to me, indicating that he should sit down. I frown at the sofa, I still haven't gotten round to getting rid of it. I'll mention to it Emse tomorrow, she'll be able to help me pick something nice, something less Edward-y.
'Yes I had fun, I am use to being alone.' He sits down carefully. We are rarely this close to each other.
'But you said that you miss Demetri the other day.' I curl up under the comforter and fall back into the pillows with a sigh.
'He is a good friend.' He nods. 'And I miss him.'
'Won't they wonder what is taking you so long?' I stare at him, I missed him today. He has a beautiful mouth and perfect nose. I need to sleep, really, my thoughts are getting out of hand.
He nods again the small frown when he worries forming between his eyes. 'I will have to do something.' He mutters softly. 'Demetri will come looking for me soon. I considered finding him today and telling him that I have found my mate, but he will have questions. Lying about what you are will not be wise. We know each other very well, he will know when I lie. Telling the truth is also unwise.'
'Take me to Aro. I'll introduce myself. It's not like you broke a law, nor did I or the Cullen's.' He looks at me surprised. His eyes is dark, he needs to hunt. The way he purses his lips let me know that he does not like the idea. I got it from Bella the other day. I had asked her if she and Edward ever argue. She told me about Aro's letter and how the Cullen's wanted to keep him away from Forks. She insisted she should go alone, Edward did not like the idea. This discussion was a few weeks ago when Felix and I was constantly arguing about everything and nothing. I was still pretending to be mad at Felix for killing Lucy's murderer. In truth I was never really angry with him. That is what made me behave so strange for a week or two. I felt guilty for not feeling guilty.
'He'll want you.' He shakes his head. 'You have a curious gift, especially since you can influence the mind. He'll want to study you, Aro is strange that way.'
'Yes, Carlisle told me.' I remember the tales of the immortal children and how they stayed with the Volturi. Nessie was mistaken for one. When they discovered what she truly was Aro wanted to find all the others like us. 'Then I'll stay there until he is done studying me.'
'No.'
'Felix.' We are venturing into familiar ground. Yet it has been weeks since we argued and it feels strange, wrong.
'No, I don't trust him and he'll know. I can't hide anything from him.'
'You told me that he was your creator, that you love him. Why don't you trust him?'
'I know him.' He answers simply. There are lines, his loyalty to the Volturi are still strong.
I sit up straight and stare out into the night. 'Just tell me.' I turn to look at him. He is still sitting on the edge of the bed, ramrod straight.
'When I found you I was suddenly capable of distancing myself from the Volturi. I know you think I haven't, that I am still loyal to them. But I do this because I know how they work. Their law is absolute, no one can escape it. Demetri and I have been hunting down those who tried for centuries. - I have spoken to Carlisle and Edward, my suspicions is not unfounded.'
'What suspicions?'
'Only gifted vampires are to be found in the Volturi, of them all my talent to fight is the least impressive. But I am the best fighter there is and so bodyguard to Aro.' He sighs heavily. 'It meant I was close to him all the time, I did not see it then but he is very good at collecting gifted vampires. He likes to collect many things.'
I nod, Nessie showed me the big jewel gifted to her mother after being turned. According to Carlisle it is one of the so called lost gems of some fancy kingdom or other. I am however unsure where Felix is going with his train of thought, I am far too tired to figure it out.
'How do you mean?'
'My position in the Volturi was reliant on my ability to kill without question.' I nod again having seen the memory of a new born vampire girl called Bree being killed by Felix. Jasper did not judge Felix since he regarded himself as being cut from the same cloth but he showed me the memory as warning. This was a few weeks ago when I started to make friends with Felix. 'Aro would sometimes have me kill a mate or friend of a particularly gifted vampire claiming he or she broke the law. I never questioned knowing that doing so can get you killed.' A strange glow flashes in his eyes. 'He would then choose to show mercy to the gifted and they would join the Volturi. Demetri was such a find...' He bites down and then shrugs slightly. 'I will not risk it.'
'You're scared he'll kill you?' I ask with disbelief, I know Felix to be is a favorite of Aro.
'Me, the Cullen's.'
'You like them?' I ask only pretending to tease. I really want to know.
He smiles knowing my true intentions. 'I always liked stregoni benefici however strange he might be.' He chuckles. 'Your mother doesn't fancy me but don't mistake it for mutual dislike. I find her absolutely charming.' He winks, they are still on cold grounds. 'Your father. Jasper and I are much alike, but he has difficulty trusting, not that I blame him, the Southern wars was brutal and a stain on our history.' He gets the same face as Jasper does when talking about it, horror almost fear. 'For the rest of them; Emmett annoys me, Rosalie doesn't talk to me, Bella never liked me since I nearly killed Edward in Volterra. The mind reader, well, he hates me.' He laughs heartily, nothing seems to really bother him. 'Esme can do nothing but love and who can reject such kindness.' He is not teasing about this, I have noticed true fondness. 'Jacob, I appreciate his company. Though it makes me sad that I can no longer make him shake in his boots.'
I roll my eyes again and laugh softly making him smile, proud of himself.
'Now to get back to our discussion.' I say making him frown. He was trying to distract me from the conversation. 'We'll both go to Aro. No one can beat you in battle.'
He chuckles and gently caresses my face. 'Jane, Alec and a few others will easily defeat me, piccolo caro.'
'I just don't think it is wise to...' I wave my hands around. 'Do nothing.'
'Demetri almost had love.' His face is dark all of a sudden. 'I never understood how we became friends. I was the one who killed the female. Aro had claimed she broke the law slaughtering an entire village. She was a little wild, Demetri had tracked her down and tried to tame her. She was changed by chance, her creator being scared off.' He shook his head. 'She was the one kill in my live I felt guilty about. Seeing the sadness in Demetri, coming to cherish his friendship I doubted my actions. Aro was quick to correct this train of thought, explaining I was not to blame, she was. The law cannot be broken, it would mean the demise of our hard earned peace.' The strange sound in his voice is new to me; sadness. The memory of the wild little vampire girl I see is rich, he has dwelt on it many times. I scoot closer and touch his shoulder. I can't think of anything to say.
'I will make my decision soon. Perhaps I will go to Aro alone. He is my creator and I have served him loyally for many ages maybe that will count for something.'
I lean my head against his shoulder. 'What happened to the others that are like me that you found?'
'I do not know, I have learned there some things better left in the dark.'
I yawn yet again and he laughs softly, breaking the intensity of the moment. 'You need to sleep.' He gently moves to leave.
'No stay, I barely saw you today.' I insist and take hold of his arm. His eyes asses me before he carefully sits back on the bed so I can lean comfortably against his shoulder.
'Buon notta tesoro. You are safe.'
The familiar feeling I get when Felix is around burns rather brightly tonight. Being this near to him makes it spark and flare. As I allow sleep to take my hand I marvel at his well-shaped body. He is drop dead gorgeous. Whoa, where did that come from? I feel the muscles in his chest ripple as he shifts me gently so he can wrap his arm around me. Is this lust or love? I am drifting between consciousness and sleep, a place where truths are strong and easier to face. I love him. He has stolen my heart. This annoying, cocky, flirtatious giant is the love of my life. Even knowing everything I know about him. He softly mutters something in my hair and kisses the top of my head. I feel warm, happy and amazing.
'Me too. I love you.' I force my lips to say.
There I have finally admitted it to myself and him.
My mind conjures up the first time I heard a Taylor Swift song. Lucy and I were driving north. It was a few days before we hit Forks. I was sitting in the passenger seat and turned up the volume the minute I made sense of the words. I enjoyed it and admitted sheepishly that I have never heard a Taylor Swift song before. Lucy was very upset and insisted we rectify the 'dire situation' as soon as possible. She stopped at the first shopping mall we could find and we bought all Taylor Swift's CD's. "I knew you were trouble" remained my favorite. We sang it all that day. Some excerpts replay in my mind.
'Once a upon a time
A few mistakes ago
I was in your sights
You got me alone
You found me.
You found me
You found me.'
The intro feels like it sort of explains what happened the day my stalker decided to introduce himself.
Maybe this is a bad song to sing if you are in love for the first time. But it is not so much the song I remember but Lucy's words to me as we were sitting on the bonnet of the car that night. We were star gazing, having pulled off the road to just enjoy the view.
'I hope some bad guy sweeps you off your feet. I wish that trouble finds you and knocks your socks off. Yeah, that is what you need Mary-Alice, some renegade to steal your heart. He'll teach you to accept yourself and he'll love you to the ends of the earth.' Lucy pointed to the North Star. 'Oh whishing star so high up in the sky. Let this wish come true. I want my friend to find true love, real trouble and to never be the same again.'
'You're not being funny Lucy.' I laugh shaking my head.
'You exactly right I'm not. You'll see M.A. you'll see.'
'Why do I need a bad guy?'
'You're the kind of girl that can save a bad boy. He will change everything for you, you'll see. The two of you will be happy. Just think, you'll tame some wild guy.'
'I don't want a bad boy.' I disagree making her smile
'Bad boys are fun.' She wags her eyebrows
'I miss you.' Somehow my mind has realized that this is no longer a memory but a dream.
'Me too, you.' She takes my hand. 'Be happy, love him, its okay.'
'I don't know.'
'Aw, come on. Forget about the past. About his and yours, make a future together.'
I look up at the North Star. 'I'll...yes!' I laugh falling into the star, being wrapped in light, feeling free. 'Yes, I love him.'
'Be careful. There is trouble ahead.' Lucy is calling from somewhere. I try to find my way back to her. But I am trapped in the light and then darkness. I hear my mother call, dread and fear sharp in her voice. Jasper bellowing my name. Carlisle, Esme, Nessie, Bella, Edward, Emmett and Rosalie. They are searching for me. Even Jacob and his pack.
'Where is she? Where is she?' I hear my mother's frantic voice.
'I'm here, I'm fine.' I try to say. But my voice is small and I am hidden in Alice's blind spots.
In the rare sunlight that filters thru the clouds every now and then, I have forgotten about my dream and the following dread. All I know is Felix. The wall that was between us has come down by being honest. We are laying in some field. I twist away from him hoping to catch my breath. He allows it reluctantly, groaning softly and kissing me in the neck before finally letting go. The grass feel soft and warm under me and I laugh happily, Felix joining in.
The two of us went out early this morning since I wanted to soak up as much sun as possible. We ran for a bit thru the woods, him keeping pace with me. We hunted, I insisted, worrying about him because his eyes was so dark. He had to be terribly thirsty. Afterwards he took me to the water pool he swam in yesterday. The water was cold but that has never bothered me. I listen to the small stream that feeds the pool, it is only a short distance from us.
I had jumped into the water when his back was turned. When I decided to get out I was faced with a predicament I had not considered. Getting out in only my underwear. I mustered my courage and climbed out. I smile dreamily at his soft gasp. In that moment however I blushed bright scarlet and ran away grabbing my clothes. He reached me before I had pulled my fancy lacy blouse – mom's idea – over my head. He was gentle and loving, mumbling in Italian when he kissed me the first time. I was scared in that moment fearing the implication of what was happening. Allowing him to show me his love physically. I'm glad I was wrong, the fear disapated. He took hold of my face and looked into my eyes only for a moment before kissing me till me head spinned. He tore my underwear to pieces while I realized surprised that he was already naked. He has an amazing body. My conscious mind has decided to listen to my sub-conscious and they both now agree. Felix is drop dead gorgeous.
'Your hair grows very fast.' Felix muses softly as he runs his fingers thru my hair. I turn my head to the side and smile softly. I haven't had my hair cut since joining the Cullen's both Rosalie and mom seem to love it.
'It always has. Alana finally gave in to my pleas to cut it when I was one and a half. It was dragging on the floor, I looked like a dark haired Rapunzel. Alana was scared it would stop growing at some point, that my immortal side would kick in.' I giggle remembering her face right before the first snip of the scissors, then I feel my face screw up the way it does when I remember something good about her.
'What did she do that maked you hate her so much?'
'You mean aside from killing my father and kidnapping me?' I ask raising my eyebrows.
'Yes, there is more.' He says matter of fact while crossing his arms behind his head and staring at the cloud covered sky. When did the sun become hidden?
'Yes, there is.' I admit softly and roll onto my tummy.
'Tell me amore mio.' Felix whispers and turns to lie on his side. He kisses my shoulder tenderly and trace the curve of my back with one finger slowly.
'It started when Alana found het mate. It changes vampires, love. It makes them...' I turn to look at him. His golden eyes glowing softly and making me blush thinking of how I made them burn a few moments ago. 'You make changes to accommodate your other half, in an instant. Humans take longer and can only do it by sheer will. When Alana found her mate she was not as attached to me as before.' I sigh heavily. 'Gendry was nice enough. But he was willing to do anything for her, absolutely anything. ' I start pulling on shards of grass, yanking them out. 'It was in the seventies, we were living right outside Dallas in an abandoned house when I made friends with a human for the first time. Alana never understood my love for humans, Gendry hated the idea. He was in the southern wars and feared that I would expose us. - His name was Vincent, he was a little strange.' I laugh loudly. 'And really into science, we blew up a barn by accident once. At first Alana didn't mind that I went to visit him. It would give her and Gendry time alone. Gendry warned me a few times to not go.' I remember the day he grabbed me by the collar of my blouse, hissing that I was a silly little fool, humans would be the death of me. 'When they wanted to move on and I asked to stay behind and join the human world. Living with Gendry was getting more difficult, he was jealous of me. Besides I could never really fit in the vampire world and hoped the human world will be more accommodating.' This time my laugh is dark and without humor. 'Alana and I argued and I left without anything being resolved.' The sun was shining when I left, I can still remember the rebellious joy went I outwitted them. The pointless anger at how it all played out. I am to blame. 'They tracked us down.' I swallow. 'I didn't think they would be able to find me in such a crowded place, in truth I thought mom would respect my wishes and let me be. Gendry walked right into the cafe we were sitting.' To this day the smell of mayonnaise makes me gag. Vincent was eating a sandwich that just reeked of it when Gendry sat down. He was wearing sunglasses to hide his red eyes, everything about him terrified me that night. 'He said my mother wanted me to go with them. I told him I was no longer a child.' Felix catches the tear that made its way out my eyes with his finger. 'We were sitting close to the back exit. He dragged both of us out of there before anyone even noticed.' I purse my lips together. 'Vincent didn't suffer, for that I am glad. I am not sure if killing him was really part of the plan it appeared to happen by accident. But then again I'm not sure, maybe it was the plan. Gendry dragged me back to Alana, I was screaming and kicking like a maniac the whole way. When we reached her I told her to go to hell. I said I wished both of them dead. That was when I saw the memory about how she planned my father's death.' I shudder. 'All my life she had explained how she protected me from a murderous vampire, that he was an old enemy of my father. I could not believe the depth of her deceit. She was...so ugly, so terribly ugly.' Felix wraps an arm around my shoulder pulling me against him. I press my face against his chest and draw his scent into my lungs. 'She saw how the hate for her consumed me. So she let me walk off without a word. I never went back and I vowed to never be blind again.'
He kisses me softly on the head. 'Ah, piccolo caro. You are more human than you think.' He sounds sad and slightly annoyed. I pull out of his embrace to look him in the eyes.
'You don't like that fact?' I ask quietly feeling more vulnerable than I have in all my life. I love him. Does he not love me back as much?
He closes his eyes and gives an exasperated sigh. 'I laughed at Edward when he came to Volterra. I thought him the greatest fool I have ever met. There he stood all hunched over and weak from thirst pleading to be killed because of a human girls death.' He falls silent, eyes still closed. 'When I saw Bella all clumsy and smelling so wonderful I thought Edward had quite possibly gone mad from consuming animal blood. It is possible I am sure.' His chuckle is low and masculine. 'Then I saw you. It was ridiculous. I could smell the human in you, see it, hear it. But I knew I will kill for you with more determination than I ever did for Aro. I will die for you.' He opens his eyes and looks at me intently. 'My greatest fear is that I will not be there to protect you when needed. The night Lucy got killed I had gone hunting. The next morning I went to see if all was well with you. I smelled the blood and rushed to your motel room. My first thought was that it could be you. I thought I would die if it was.' He chuckles again. 'Just like Edward.' He sits up, pulling us both into a sitting position and takes my face in his hands. 'I am a fool for you cara mia. The more time I spent with you the more I love your gentle heart, your kind soul. In all the ages I have spent fighting I had thought my soul to be dead. Till I met you. You are right, love changes us. You are wrong, I'm grateful for every human part in you.' He softly kisses my lips and then yanks away growling. I blink surprised. He jumps up and faces away from me.
'Demetri.' He calls quietly.
A few moments later a tall, slight vampire with dark shoulder length hair slowly wanders into the clearing. Only now do I smell him, his cape gently blowing in the breeze that comes with rain.
'Brother.' He greets friendly before his face becomes stark. 'Your eyes.' Then the wind shifts and he notices me. 'You are with a human?' disbelieve makes him appear almost comical. 'Felix, what has happened to you?'
Felix's shoulders tense, while I desperately search for my clothes. This is not a great way to meet anyone, let alone a vampire who calls your mate; brother. With a blur Felix manages to get me dressed and crouches protectively in front of me.
'No, she is a hybrid.' Demetri whispers stepping closer. 'You found another. Why did you not bring her...' he stops seeming to notice Felix for the first time, his eyes was on me all the while. He looks uncomfortable and then quickly loosens his light grey cape tossing it to Felix, gesturing with his head to put it on. Felix obliges and I see a memory full of chagrin.
Felix giving Edward his cape. It was when Bella was there rescuing Edward from himself. Felix now notices that we're in the same dire situation. Memories of how Demetri fights flashes next. He is considering to kill his best friend to protect me. I will not let him do that.
'I didn't feel like leaving for Italy just yet.' I say. Demetri looks at me with such wonder that I feel a slight blush. I am fascinating to him. Not just for my uniqueness, no, for the way I sway Felix. Memories of quite a few human girls and vampires that showed interest and with whom Felix flirted but that came to nothing flashes out of him. Then I see my mother's face and hear her voice, the likeness between us is striking, he noticed. He frowns deeply.
'You look like Alice Cullen.' His head flashes to Felix who is currently glaring at me for attracting attention. 'Your eyes. You are a Cullen now?'
No not the Cullen's, not again. I plead with Felix hoping my eyes convey the message.
'No.' He looks him directly in the eyes. 'The Cullen's has got nothing to do with this. I chose it.'
Demetri looks shocked before composing his features. 'Aro will be able to tell if you speak the truth.'
'There will be no need to see Aro.' Felix say menacingly, his stance shift. He is aggressive and ready to pounce.
'What are you going to do Felix? Attack me?' his face look incredulous before showing anger. 'I dare you.'
'Felix!' I try to catch him as he takes off but I am far too slow. They grab each other, the smack of impact cracking loudly.
'Enough!' an angelic voice say moments before a small girl walks into the clearing.
Felix lets go of Demetri with a disappointed growl.
The girl is wearing a dark cape and her eyes immediately run over me. Memories reverberate off her.
I see my mother and how Aro covets her talent. This little girl hates Alice. Then she notices that I am a hybrid. Nessie and Bella, flash. Jealousy, more hate.
The other memory playing in the back of my mind is Edward's. He had remembered Jane one night, the memory was sharp. Burned into his brain like his transformation. Jane has a terrifying gift. Felix also shows this. She has rendered him useless with one look a few times in the past. Back then it did not bother him, she was a silly insecure girl who wanted to please Aro, now she is a threat to me and it drives him all but mad with hate.
'Come. I want to go home.' Her voice is bored.
Felix's nostrils flare but he stays calm. 'Can I go get my clothes?'
'Of course.' Demetri agrees kindly, smiling ever so slightly about the cape that is far too small for Felix.
He leaves me alone for just a moment. Returning dressed and handing Demetri his cape, nodding his thanks. They were meaning to kill each other moments ago and now they behaving like nothing happened. Vampires.
Jane turns and rushes thru the trees. We follow at the fastest pace I can manage, Felix by my side and Demetri bringing up the rear. Felix is almost nauseated by the sense of Déjà-vu. They followed the same formation with Bella and Edward in Volterra. I take his hand and press it gently. He doesn't respond making my stomach drop. Felix is scared.
Cara mia – my darling
Buon notta Tesoro – good night darling
Piccolo caro – precious little one
