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Hold My Heart in Your Hands

EPOV

December 13, 2005

I stayed over Edward's house for a sleepover, and a surprise snowstorm hit town. Silently rejoicing I wonder how Edward and I would spend our extra day together since we were snowed in. Alice insisted that I was to spend the day with her instead. After listening to my long and consistent complaint, Alice finally let me trail after Edward. She threw a pair of silk pajamas at me and told me to find him. The silk pajamas were extremely comfortable and breezy. I leaned my ear on the door of Edward's room, and a soft melody float from behind it. His musically voice sang words of love. Softly, he whispered my name as the song came to an end. After a few minutes of silence, I enter the room, and he smiled. Taking me in his arms, I noticed how his hands ran up and down the silk. We spent all day resting in each others' arms and listening to Edward's beautiful compositions.

I sighed as I closed Bella's journal entry back into the leather bound box. Two weeks had gone by since the cliff incident, and Bella had been over since. Her father had cut her off from all communications. I had already reenter school, and I look forward to going, so I could see her.

Charlie had been furious. I swear, he raged on for about an hour when he found out Bella had almost succeeded in suicide. Bella was only available for visiting hours during five through eight o'clock. I spent every chance I got with her. Exams were finally over, and I knew that Bella would be released from the prison of her house soon. Guilt waved over me. I had forgotten her birthday because it had happened during our rough months. I remembered the small satin bag I had in my locked drawer.

I ran my finger over the words I had written in Braille inside the simple little bracelet. You hold my heart in your hands.

"Alice, will you-

"Yes, Edward, I would be delighted to give you a ride to Bella's house," she answered.

"Here we are," Alice prompted.

"Do I," I gulped, "look okay?"

Her soft laughter drifted in my ear. "You look lovely, brother."

"I'm not your brother yet, sis," I joked.

"And I am not your sister yet," she replied.

"Touché," I laughed. "Thank you, Alice. I don't know what I would without you. I'm sorry about what happened when you were a child, I'm so glad that Esme took you in. I'm also glad that we never finished the adoption forms."

"Why?" she asked her voice filled with concern.

I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Jasper may not be my closest brother, but that doesn't mean that I don't know how happy you make him."

Her small hand wrapped around mine, and she rested her head on my shoulder for a peaceful moment.

"Go on," Alice said playfully, "go get your lady."

Nervously approaching her door, the satin bag twisted in my hands. My cane hit the door, and I knew it was time to bring Bella closer to me.

"Stop telling me what to do!" Bella's voice screamed from behind the door.

"I'll tell you what to do, and you will like it, young lady," Charlie's voice was tight.

"Why would you do this, Charlie?" I had rarely heard Bella call her father 'Charlie' to his face.

"You are so blinded by your own love for him that you can't even understand what he has put you through. Bella, you are such a bright girl, and I would hate to see all that go to waste just so you could take care of him," Charlie explained.

"We aren't in love, dad," her voice was barely above a whisper. My heart was squeezed tight in her hands as my heart shattered. Had the words she whispered as we dived into the ocean meant nothing but a simple lie? I slumped down on the porch.

Charlie scoffed. "You're blinder than he is! I see the adoration in your eyes when ever you are with him. You can't waste your life on something that will never progress."

I heard Bella burst into tears, and I couldn't help wanting to comfort her even after what she had said.

"Edward and I are the closest friends. Why are you tearing us apart? He means everything to me, and I don't care if I never find a boyfriend because he'll be all I'll ever need. He needs me, too, and he has always been there for me!" Bella's voice was trembling, and the heart in her hands throbbed with compassion.

"What are you going to do when he finds love if you never stop denying how you feel?" Charlie asked.

I wanted to burst through the door and tell them both that I could never love another woman as much I did Bella.

Silence roamed around the house. Sighing, I got up from my resting spot and started my way home.

Bella spoke in a very tiny voice, and I barely heard what she said from where I was standing.

"Than I'll…I'll…"

Bella's sobbed grew louder as did Charlie's shouts. The front door opened and slammed, and Bella's footsteps where headed in my direction. Suddenly, she collided with me, and her head was instantly buried in my chest.

"Ed- Edward!" she cried, "please come with me somewhere away from here."

I agreed quickly, and she led me eagerly to her car. Taking my one of my hands, she drove off. Her small hand trembled in mine, and I rubbed soothing circles on it with my thumb.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

She didn't answer. With my free hand, I leaned over and brushed her cheek. Tears instantly dampened it. She had been silently crying the entire time.

"Don't cry, Bells," I whispered.

"Come on," her voice cracked, "we are here."

She had taken me to the meadow. It was the one true place we could be ourselves. Bella took my hand and led my through the woods even though she knew I knew the way.

Leaning back into the grass, I let out a long sigh as the sunrays warmed me. I took my glasses off and closed my eyes. Softly, I felt Bella's smooth fingertips run off my cheek.

"Edward, what did you hear when you were waiting for me?" she asked.

I hesitated. She wasn't going to be happy. "I heard everything, Bella."

Small arms wrapped around me, and she tucked her head under my chin. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Oh, Bella," I sighed, "you stood up for me, and I would give the world for you. I don't need anyone but you for the rest of my days, and you have always been there for me."


Oh, and by the way, I am so deep in love with you that my heart barely has room for the rest of my family.
My heart and mind screamed the words at my, but my mouth refused to speak.

"Oh, crap!" Bella shouted. "I need to see Alice. I promised her I would be over at three."

"Why?" I asked

"She…set me up with a date,"

Her words echoed in my mind. She didn't understand that I would be here waiting fir her my entire life while she went out on dates.

"What about us?" I whispered.

Her hand stroked my cheek. "What about us, Edward?"

"…never mind. Can you take me home?"

"Sure," she replied disregarding my attempt to tell her why my heart was beating unevenly in my chest.

The car ride was awkward, and Bella made no attempt to break the silence. As soon as we reached the house, she left me in the door way to find Alice. Defeated, I locked the door to room and sat down at my piano. The satin blue bag was left forgotten in my pocket.

BPOV

Alice had set me up with this date with the excuse that I need to get out more. She had tried several times during my depression time, but I refused. Something about the name she said made me want to go on this particular date. The name that left Alice's lips instantly reminded me of Edward, and I was compelled to go. We had still been apart, but I was so desperate to be near to anyone who resembled Edward, that I quickly agreed. His name is Eddie.

"Alice, I'm going to go say good-bye to Edward before I leave. Eddie and I are meeting at the new Italian restaurant in Port Angeles," I called before exiting her room.

Before knocking on Edward's door, I heard an angel's voice. I put my ear to the door, and heard a soft song come from the piano.

I had always pleaded to Edward to sing to me, but he always said he couldn't sing. I then realized that I wouldn't be able to say good-bye because if that was Edward's voice, he would have locked the door.

The piano started up again with a soft tune, and I recognized it immediately.

"Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence."

The lyrics of "Sound of Silence," by Simon and Garfunkel flowed to my ears. His voice was beautiful. It was deep, but not to deep. It was soft and yet strong. It was perfect.

At that moment, I knew that I had no desire to go on this date. What I wanted was Edward, and no matter how much I denied it, I would wait around for him for an eternity. After a tear ran down my face, I left the house without looking back.

After arriving at the restaurant, I took a seat at the reserved both and waited for Eddie. A man walked into the room and was escorted to my table.

"Bella?" he asked.

I nodded. His voice was hard and gruff unlike Edward's velvet one.

"You look lovely tonight," he said trying to make small talk.

I blushed, remembering who Alice had forced me into this tiny black dress. I silently thanked God that our waiter had approached.

Eddie and I talked uneasily, and I couldn't bare to be here another moment. I wanted to go home and curl into Edward's warm body.

Eddie's hair was soft brown, and his eyes were a dull blue unlike Edward's beautiful shimmering green orbs.

After our meal, neither of us desired to stick around, so we said our farewell. After driving for about five minutes, I pulled over into the entrance of the park.

I walked aimlessly around until I found myself very lost in the small dark woods. Edward and I use to pull in here, but I never could remember my way out.

A bush rustled, and I turned quickly. Eddie stood before me, and I sighed in relief until a strong hint of alcohol blew in my nose. I froze, he was drunk.

Before I had time to react, he had me against the tree, and he was ripping my dress to shreds. I cried out and screamed.

"Help! Someone help me!" I shouted, but it was no use.

"Hush, doll, everything is going to be alright. It always hurts the first time," the monster grinned.

My back ripped open from the rough bark as he menacingly trusted into me.

"Help!" I cried. "Edward, help me please."

A hand came across my face.

"My name is Eddie not Edward, you piece of shit. Now, shut the fuck up," he sneered.

I tried to push him away, but he had my held time in one of his above my head. My legs refused to work due to the pain that spread all over my body. Finally, I kicked at him, but it only did me harm. Grabbing it in his free hand, he twisted my leg in an away it isn't meant to go, and a sickening snap filled the air.

"Help!" I cried out.

Suddenly, I was dropped against the cool ground, and another man was above me.

Edward's green eyes pierced into mine. "Bella? Bella where are you?"

"I'm right below you, Edward," I whispered with the remainder of my strength. I don't know how he did it, but he found me and saved me. Darkness swallowed me whole.


Sorry about thelong wait and any grammer mistakes. I don't know how to write a rape scene. ^^;

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