A/N: Welcome to the next installment of Eyes, Look Your Last! EternallyCullen and I hope
you enjoy this chapter as much as we enjoyed writing it and bringing it to you.
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Disclaimer: We own nothing related to Twilight. Anything that resembles Twilight belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer. We are just playing in her sandbox for our own amusement.
Edward slapped the small, silver phone shut and tightened his fist around it. Suddenly, he looked down at a crunching sound and found the phone in small pieces lying in his palm. He shook the particles out of his hand with amazement and disgust. In that moment, he hated himself. Many things were hazy to him, but he was remembering Bella, and he knew that he had never lied to her on this scale. Oh, he was sure he had told her a little, white lie before, but nothing of this magnitude. And he could hear the worry and panic in her voice. Things probably would have been better if they had just let him die.
"How did things go?" Carlisle asked, a fatherly quality to his voice. He did not mention the crushed phone that now lay on the forest floor. There goes another phone, the poor kid.
Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "How do you think they went? She's upset, obviously, and wants to come pick me up." Edward scoffed internally at his use of words. I think 'upset' is a bit of an understatement, don't you think? She's fucking devastated.
"You know that can't be allowed," Carlisle said soothingly, as he reached out and grasped Edward's shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze. "It's far too dangerous. What you are now, Edward... she won't understand. And as a newborn, you are going to thirst for her blood more than anything. Bella can never know what you are." He would never forgive himself if he hurt this girl.
Edward shrugged Carlisle off and looked at him in disgust. "You mean I'm supposed to cut her out of my life, just like that? It's ridiculous. I can't just never see her again. We need each other... we were going to get married!"
Extraordinary. His mind appears to be full of this girl, yet I would expect him to be famished. He doesn't seem particularly bothered about the burning. I have never seen anything like this in my three hundred and fifty years. He really is very interesting, as his memories should be distant, hazy, yet he seems to recall this girl perfectly... and his ability to read minds... amazing. Edward was clearly a very gifted and intelligent human.
Edward listened to Carlisle's inner monologue with interest. What was he talking about? Was he unusual? And of course he would be more worried about Bella. He loved her.
"I know it's difficult, son, but this is a life that she cannot be a part of. She will move on with her life, go on to get married, have children..." He's going to have to let her go.
Edward's face contorted in anger. "Over my dead, fucking body," he said, as he pulled a small spruce tree up and threw it across the forest floor. "Bella and I are one. We have been since the day we met. You just don't know how this will affect her," he said, defeated. "I can't let her go."
Carlisle sighed. "I know. It's saying good-bye to the people you love that is the hardest. But you need to hunt. Once you've been fed, I think we will be able to discuss things in a more rational and calm manner."
"Hunt? I don't know how to hunt," Edward grumbled. He knew that he must have sounded like a petulant child, but he didn't care. He was torn between thinking of the love of his life – his Bella – and the need to cull the painful burning in his throat.
Carlisle smiled at him. "It's all instinct." He'll do fine if he just follows his instincts and people-
Edward's eyes grew big. "People? You hunt people? I-I don't think I can kill a person, Carlisle."
He shook his head and placed a comforting hand on Edward's shoulder. "Don't worry, Edward. Remember what we told you about only hunting animals? That's what we hunt. We don't harm humans, even though most of our kind do."
Edward's throat was burning and reminded him of the personal fire he had just been subject to. He needed something to quench it, and if required blood, then so be it. "Then let's hunt, as long as you don't laugh at me."
Carlisle smiled at him. "I would never. We all had to start somewhere, Edward. Of course, it is a good thing Emmett is not with us," he muttered to himself.
"Which one was Emmett?"
"The big one with the dark, curly hair. He is completely harmless, although he does enjoy his amusement at others' expenses." He leaned in conspiratorially towards Edward. "Promise me you'll challenge him to a wrestling match. It would do his ego some good to lose every now and then."
Edward felt his mouth drop open. "You want me to wrestle him? Goliath? Are you crazy?"
"Trust me, right now, as a newborn, you are much stronger than he is. You will win."
"Whatever," Edward muttered, thinking Carlisle was off his rocker. He just knew that he needed to stop this burning in his throat now. "Hunting?" he prompted.
"Oh, yes, I apologize. Let us move to a different area. I'm afraid our conversation and... noise... would have scared off any game."
"You remember how to run?" Carlisle asked.
Edward sighed. Of course he remembered how to run, but he did not want to be rude to Carlisle, who was only trying to help him. He had already acted like a two-year old enough for one day. "Yes, I remember."
Carlisle smiled at him in encouragement. "Good. Then just follow me." And he took off like a bullet through the trees.
Edward suddenly regretted telling Carlisle he remembered what he was doing, because he was afraid that he was going to get lost. Oh, well, no time like the present. So he dug the ball of his foot into the dirt and took off, allowing his instincts to take over.
He effortlessly ran around the trees that were in his way, his new and improved vision allowing him to see things his human eyes would never have seen. Edward was amazed at the colors he was able to pick out on the bark of the trees and each, individual tiny vein on the leaves. He was able to spot Carlisle ahead of him without difficulty, as he dodged the trees and rocks in his path.
Carlisle suddenly stopped. "Let's climb this tree here and wait."
Let's do what? "I-I don't think I can..." Edward looked up at the huge tree in front of him. He had never been a tree-climber as a boy. At least, he didn't think he had been.
"Of course you can. It's all instinct. Just walk over to the tree, close your eyes, and decide you want to go up the tree. Watch me." And Carlisle moved up the tree so fast, it was as if he had tinder hooks implanted in his hands and feet.
Edward stared up at the Sitka spruce and at Carlisle perched on a limb.
"Fine," he grumbled and placed both hands on the tree bark. I think I can, I think I can...
And suddenly, Edward was halfway up the tree trunk. Edward stopped abruptly and looked down at the ground, his face full of fear.
"Don't worry, Edward. Just keep climbing up. You are doing a wonderful job," Carlisle called down. Just believe in yourself. You can do it all now.
"Can vampires be afraid of heights?" he asked, his voice cracking. He still had not moved.
"There's no reason to be, son. Even if you fell, you'd land on your feet, and you'd be unhurt. Trust me, I know. So just come on up."
Edward closed his eyes and immediately found himself perched on the branch with Carlisle.
"See? I told you that you could do it and be fine," Carlisle said with a smile.
Edward just stared at him.
"Now, we wait," Carlisle said quickly and softly, and Edward knew that no human would have ever heard him.
He sat on the branch next to this blonde-haired man who was determined to teach him. Their soundless patience was soon rewarded when a heard of white-tail deer wandered into the clearing under the tree. Even before they had heard the soft taps and crunch of their hooves on top of the mossy earth, however, the sweetest aroma filled the air, causing the venom in Edward's mouth to pool and the burn in his throat intensify tenfold. "So what do we do?" Edward whispered.
"Jump on one and hold onto it. Once we do that, I'll tell you what to do next, although it will be instinct for you."
Instinct, instinct, instinct. Everything was frigging instinct, it seemed. Edward picked out a plump-looking buck and, without thinking of the height he was jumping from, went sailing down from the tree branch and landed exactly onto the deer, his arms winding their way around its neck. The buck twisted and screamed at the sudden interruption of its dinner, but Edward barely twisted, breaking its neck. The animal went limp in his arms. He looked over at Carlisle and noticed he had done the same thing. By then, the rest of the herd had run away in fear.
The burn in Edward's throat was so hot and so severe, he could wait no longer, and he immediately bit into the deer's neck, automatically seeking out its jugular vein. The idea of fur in his mouth bothered him slightly, but he did not even notice it. He had been prepared to need to rip his way through to the vessels, but his new teeth sliced right through the tough hide, muscle and sinew to the exact point where he punctured the vein and the warm, wet liquid began to pour down his throat.
He was like a man who had been lost in the dessert and had been dying of thirst; he drank and drank, and when the pressure began to ebb, he adjusted his position and sucked the rest of the viscous liquid down his throat as if he had a straw.
He drank and drank until he could pull no more from the animal, and then he sat back, his thirst finally satiated at the moment. The burn was still there, but it was not painful as it had been before. He tossed the deer from his lap and looked down at himself. His clothes were shredded from the animal's kicking hooves and tossing antlers, but surprisingly, he was uninjured. And why am I surprised? Nothing should surprise me at this point.
He noticed Carlisle watching him from several feet away. He nodded slightly. How do you feel, son?
"Better," Edward answered out loud. "My throat still burns, but it's not painful as it was before."
Carlisle nodded. "Yes, that is something you will get used to. The burning will always be there, but after you've fed, it gets more bearable. After a decade or so, you won't even notice it."
"A decade?" He did not have a decade to master this stuff. He had to find ways to make adjustments so he could return to Bella now. A decade... In a decade, we would have been married and happy, settled down with our own children. Is that even going to be possible now?
Carlisle just smiled at him. "Let's get you home and cleaned up. I'm sure Alice has been out purchasing you an entirely new wardrobe, and it looks like you could use with a shower and a change of clothing."
Bella lay on the couch, facing the TV that was turned to some news station. Edward had always liked to have the news on, so she had turned it to the news channel, hoping to hear something about this accident he had told her about. She was beginning to doubt her sanity. Why would Edward call her to tell her he had been injured, but then not want to come home? Why would he just hang up and no one else contact her?
She had always wondered why Edward had been interested in her. She had never been popular in high school, always choosing a good book over going out with friends. So when Edward had approached her during orientation week at Dartmouth, she had wondered at first if it had been on a dare.
Bella now wondered if maybe this was Edward's way of getting out of the relationship without hurting her. He was not a vindictive person, and she knew he would never hurt her on purpose.
Where was he?
He had given her a name. The Cullens. He had told her he had been in an accident and that he was with the Cullens. But no one in Forks knew who the Cullens were.
Her musings were interrupted by the slamming of a car door in the driveway. God, please no company! She looked out the bay window and breathed a sigh of relief. It was her father. Maybe he had some information on the Cullens.
She pulled the door open. "Hey, Dad." She could tell from his expression that she must look terrible.
"Hey, Bells. How're holding up?" He gave her an awkward one-armed hug.
She sighed. "Just barely. Have you found out anything on the Cullens?"
"Just a bit. There's a Dr. Carlisle Cullen, but he's been in Philadelphia. I'm going to do some more checking, though."
She hugged him suddenly. "Thanks, Dad."
He hugged her back, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. "You're welcome. Now, why don't you go get a shower, and come with me tonight?"
"Where to?" Bella really preferred to just lie on her couch and wallow in her misery, but she hated to destroy the hopeful look on her father's face. She realized how concerned for her he was.
"La Push. They're having a bonfire on the beach, and Billy called and invited us both. He thought it might do you good to get out. Plus, he said Jake's been moaning about not seeing you for months."
She chewed on her bottom lip. "I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready to face people yet." Especially Jake... he and Leah are bound to want to make me talk about it...
"Bells, this is family. No one's going to expect you to talk, but it will do you good to get out of this house for a bit."
She nodded. "All right. Just give me fifteen minutes to shower."
Charlie settled onto the couch, the remote in his hand. "I'll just wait here. Take your time."
Bella ran up the stairs and into the master bathroom. She had to admit to herself that the idea of getting out of her crypt was a bit appealing. She jumped in the shower with more life than she'd shown in the past week. She scrubbed roughly at her skin, and her thoughts once again drifted to Edward. Where are you? Please come home to me. I can't go on without you. In the privacy of her shower, Bella let the tears fall freely down her face and sobbed loudly, leaning against the cool white tiles. She knew she had to get it out of her system before she received hugs from her friends on the Rez. And then there were all the sympathetic looks. You can do this, Bella. You can be strong.
She had to be. Right now, there was not another option.
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