Seventh Letter
May 28th 1998, St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries
Dear Draco,
I'm writing this letter to you after having spent yet another night with you in the Hospital. I just woke up to find you as silent and still as ever. I had a dream about you. That's really why I'm writing this letter now. I dreamt that you woke up. And you saw me sleeping there next to you. But you weren't mad or angry. You were surprised but happily surprised. Then you found my letters and read them. In my dream you cried even though I know you would never do that in real life. After you had read the letters you went to sleep with your arm around me. And when I woke up I half expected to feel your arm around my waist and you body pressed against mine. But you haven't moved one centimetre since I fell asleep. So my foolish dream was just a dream. Do you believe that your hopes and wishes can be reflected in your dreams? That you want something so much that your brain gives it to you, if only for a little while? I think I do.
Harry and I had a talk about you after I visited you the last time to drop of my last letter. He calls me naïve for believing that you have changed. He is still supportive, but he thinks that believe in you all too much. Don't get me wrong, he sees a change in you too. Just not as much as I do. So he calls me naïve, in a sweet protective way that is, and warns me not to trust you too much. He doesn't want me to get hurt. With all the terrible things I've witnessed in my life I shouldn't be naïve so I don't see myself that way- I have first hand experienced your change so the only logic step for me to take is to trust you. That is the way I do it. Harry isn't judging me or anything, he is just being a good friend. He thinks I should tell Ron, but I don't know about that. We have a history, you know.
Or I guess that you don't and I don't know if I should tell you. I mean this isn't my diary it's a letter. And it's even a letter to someone I'm in love with. And here the never ending problem resurfaces. I don't even know if you want to know. Oh Merlin, I am going crazy! I'm in love with someone I have considered my enemy ever since I first met him! And he doesn't even know it, may never know it even! It would have been easier if we had been friends because then I would at least know that you liked me on some level. Right now I don't even know if you can tolerate me. Merlin, this is almost more that my brain can handle! Okay, I'm just going to tell you about Ron and forget everything else. You deserve to know this no matter what you feel about me. If you don't want to read this just ignore it. There, the choice is yours to make.
Well, there has always been something between Ron and me. Right from our first fight there has been this spark. As I told you in my last letter he refrained from asking me to the Yule Ball because I was just 'one of the guys'. But I've also always thought that there was something more than that. During the Battle of Hogwarts I got my answer. Right before we entered the Room of Requirement, where you were injured, Ron and I kissed. That's why I think that Ron was always secretly in love with me, but just didn't know how to show it or even accept it. Well, if you are reading this you are probably wondering about what happened next. Well, the kiss surprised me, even though I initiated it. Afterwards it was a little embarrassing but then everything got so hectic. I was prepared to try with Ron, but when you were injured I felt my heart spasm in fright and pain and I knew that I simply couldn't give up on you. So when the battle ended and we were all hospitalized I had to tell Ron that I couldn't go through with us. That it had to stop at the kiss. Ron didn't take it all that good, he was sad as Hell. He didn't talk to me until the day I wrote you my second letter to you. That day I told you that I was visiting the Weasley's after leaving St. Mungo's. Well I apparated to the Burrow where Ron refused to talk to me. The other Weasley's called him stupid and a moron until he finally came down from his room and agreed to talk to me. I once again told him that I didn't have those feelings for him but that I still loved him like a friend and a brother. We talked for a while before he finally forgave me and we made peace.
Well, if there was something we didn't have in our fifth year it was peace. There was so much trouble with Professor Umbridge. Of course you never felt that trouble since you helped cause it. But I don't want to think about that, because it was after that year that I first sensed your change. Perhaps the change was spurred on by the fact that our father went to jail after the battle in the Department of Mysteries. Of course there is no way that I can say what kind of impact your father has on you – I only know the little things that I haven't even experienced myself. Harry told me how your father treated Dobby. Of course it isn't fair of me to think that he would treat you the same way but that doesn't really bode well for your father in my opinion. But I know from the way your father was searching for you during the Battle of Hogwarts that he loves you. And so does your mother. You are a pretty lucky guy.
Well, I'll have to stop for now. Harry is expecting me home. I really hope you'll be coming around soon. Especially since you birthday is coming up. Your 18th birthday, you really should be conscious to experience that. Please wake up.
Hermione
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