Disclaimer: I don't own the Hangover or its characters.
*dot*
Jess stood in front of Phil Wenneck's classroom door before school one day, shivering from being out in the cold just moments ago. While she entered the building, she pulled off the light blue sweater she wore over her uniform and stuffed in into her locker once reaching it. Pulling out her books for class that day, Jess walked down the nearly empty halls since most students were at breakfast still. She came to the fourth door on the 3rd floor and paused watching the man inside write on the chalkboard.
It was Phil and he was busy working on his first period English assignments, something Jess would see one day if he became her teacher. It was awesome that Jess had him there because at any moment's notice, the other teachers knew to get him if it concerned Jess.
Phil must have noticed the figure at his door because a moment later he turned to see Jess looking somewhat startled that she was spotted. Trying to slip away, Phil hurried after her and caught her arm before getting too far from his door.
Her eyes told an untold story. One that Jess knew she needed to express but she doubted if it truly mattered after all these years. Phil took a step forward and grasped her arm lightly before leading her back into the room. She sat her backpack down and felt herself avoiding Phil's silent questions.
"Come on! I cannot be that ugly for you to NOT look at," laughed Phil sitting on his desk watching Jess. His smile was wide and she remembered his smiles as ones that meant goodness. "Jess?" he called again.
"I don't get it! Why couldn't my mom be better and actually be here!" she screamed out not realizing it until it was too late. She grasped her mouth and knew her mind betrayed her.
"Because adults make choice that they have to live with. Choices some good and some harder than we want to admit," Phil replied taking the seat beside Jess. Her hands were shaking but as Phil held her hand, she turned violently and grabbed him around the neck, allowing every emotion to finally be released. For a good five minutes or so, Phil patted her back and his shirt became wet from fat tears pouring from the teenager.
"Jessica?" he called above her. Looking up into his brown hair, his aviator glasses hanging on his head, there was a small worried frown on his face. "Don't cry. You're stronger than her. What brought these feelings up?"
Jess nodded and took the tissue from his hands, blowing her nose a few times. "I am reading The Great Gatsby as my report and I compared it to my life and it brought up my fears and doubts about my mom. It's hard to understand but I don't get why she killed herself," she confessed trying to brush away her tears.
"Doug told me to keep an eye on you," he said. "But I never imagined this was troubling you."
"Jessica, are you okay?" he asked again seeing her face begin to tear up once more. "You aren't like Gatsby. He was a dumb fucking asshole who blindly pursued the love of his life without understanding the damn consequences. He lied to make his way and he made choices he had to live with," he said standing up and returning to the chalkboard.
"No, I'm not but my mom did though," Jess mumbled looking at him for a moment. Looking past his smile, there was something there that reminded her of a future that was always better than her past. Phil turned once more, motioning for her to stand up and join him at the board.
"Jess, you're not like your mom. You will never be like her, because you have people who love you for just who you. Despite everything you've been through, we are here for you. Please don't forget that."
*dot*
Hours later as Stu and Alan awoke, the police officers were kind enough to tell which impound the Mercedes was at. Phil made the call to get them a taxi, but it left the others a bit worried for their friend. Jess sat by the curb waiting for something else to happen. There had to be a real reason for everything to be as it was.
"Guys, are you sure you can get the car out?" asked Jess looking up as a few cars passed.
"I know a way," replied Alan. "It's my Dad's so I can get it out."
"Is your name on the title?" she asked kindly, hoping Alan was right.
"I think. I don't have a current valid driver's license, but Dad might have put me on the car," he said standing up. "Guys will it be okay? The car?" There was a genuine look of fear on his well fury face.
"Alan, the car is fine," said Phil firmly holding his hands up. "We go get the car, find Doug then get the hell out of Nevada before we get arrested again."
Stu shouted for them to get up as the taxi rode up. Jess hopped into the back-center seat as Phil and Stu took either side of her. Alan smiled at the driver, who frowned, as he sat in the passenger seat.
"Where to?" he asked in a heavy Indian accent.
Phil showed him the address that the officers had written down. The Indian driver took off nearly hitting another car, but after the day's events Jess really didn't care. Laying her head onto Stu's arm, she tried to block out all the noise surrounding her. Desperately she wanted to take a nap. Not that she would at the hotel though. They still had to attend to the tiger in their penthouse.
"Are you okay?" Stu asked quietly with concern. His fingers took a hold of the fabric on Jess' shirt and inspected it. There was a small burnt hole on her otherwise clean shirt. His fingers brushed against her skin for a moment and he, quite swiftly in fact, retracted his hand back.
"That stung didn't it?" he asked in a hushed voice, a light red tint darkening his cheeks.
"Very," Jess nodded. She buried her head into his neck, avoiding Phil's advances for conversation.
After the twenty-minute drive to the impound, Jess waited outside with Stu as Phil and Alan dealt with the car. They were taking a while, so Stu finally sat down beside her.
"We will get this resolved. Okay? How are you doing really?" he asked looking back at the door. It remained quite unmoved. Jess kept an eye on the door because she really didn't want to openly speak about what she had done with Phil, but since he wasn't around at the moment….
She turned to Stu and finally the words came to her. "Phil and … I … had… we had sex… Stu… I slept with my teacher! I feel like a damn whore! Do you know how horrid I feel? I …. I'm done—"
Stu snapped around, gripping her arms violently. "You are not a whore! You will never be one! Don't ever say that about yourself!"
When the door opened suddenly by Alan and Phil, Stu let go of Jess standing up. Jess felt Alan sit beside her and letting out a small sob while doing so.
"Alan, the car is fine. Okay?" offered Jess wrapping her arm around his burly body.
"Stu stomping about like a girl will solve nothing," said Phil leaning against the wooden post.
Stu kicked the dirt in anger and snapped at them a few times before he went off about how everything of the day was shitty. Jess tried to ignore it like Phil was doing but Stu's concerns were also hers.
"Fuck those guys, you hear me!" He threw his arms down and sighed loudly. "That was bullshit! I'm telling everybody we stole a cop car," muttered Stu after a few minutes.
"They let us go, who cares?" stated Phil, looking around without interest in Stu's hissy fit.
"I care! You should too! You can't just do that. You can't just taze people because you think it's funny. That's police brutality! And Jess and you, those fake tears… Yeah, they saved us!" he grumbled.
Jess looked down, removing her arm from Alan. Stu, though in his moment of anger, was at least remembering to not say anything about her and Phil.
"Stu, we aren't charged with theft. That much should matter. Like I need that on my record before college; like any of us need that really," she said with a tear.
"Jess, your life hasn't started. Ours have. We are grown men; we shouldn't have let that happen to you. When Doug—"
"Can we not talk about Doug for fucks sake?! Calm the fuck down Stu!" barked Phil giving his friend a look of desperation. Behind his aviator glasses, Jess saw his concerned look for Doug too. They all wore it really. Stu caught onto Phil's meaning and seemed to give up.
"I'm getting a soda. Do you guys want anything?" he asked before turning away.
"I do," answered Jess but Phil and Alan said no.
"My man doesn't shut up. Jesus Christ!" Phil looked at Jess and Alan for a moment before continuing. "Alan, you okay?"
"I'm just worried," he answered, reaching for Jess' hand. She grasped it to reassure him everything was okay, but it didn't bring a smile to his face. "What if something happened to Doug? Something bad?"
"He is fine," offered Jess with a smile.
"Come on, you can't think like that," added Phil.
"I mean what if he's dead? I can't afford to lose anybody close to me again. It hurts too much. I was so upset when my grandpa died." Jess leaned in to give him a hug as Phil gasped.
"Oh, I'm so… How'd he die?"
"World War II," Alan said quickly holding back a sob.
"Died in battle?" asked Phil feeling a sense of American pride there. A real solder fighting for the cause of the American way.
"No, he was skiing in Vermont. It was just during World War II."
Jess looked at his confused. Wait, that didn't add up. Alan would need to be much older that he appeared to be.
"Alan how old are you?" asked Jess mentally to do the math in her head. Alan would need to be at least sixty-four to have been born the year that the war ended. Unless Alan had some secret aging potion he never told about….
"I'm thirty years, eight months, ten days, and eleven hours old," he replied.
"Alan, were you real little when your grandpa died?" she asked kindly patting his back.
"No. I was watching a movie of it and I cried about it later." Jess shook her head with smiled at Alan's silliness, but she really needed some humor to cheer up.
"Alan it's okay. Doug is fine. We'll find him," reassured Jess another time.
"Well why hasn't he called?" Alan spoke up with a hint of a real sob.
"I don't know, but we're gonna figure it out," she said tapping his nose lightly.
"I'll tell you another thing, 6-1 odds our car is beat to shit," commented Stu as he walked back up, two sodas in hand.
"Stu, not now," warned Phil eyeing Alan closely. After this heart-to-heat with him, Stu would only make things worse. Jess narrowed her eyes at Stu as Phil tried to hush him up.
"No, how much do you wanna bet it's fucked beyond recognition?"
"That's enough. Alan's seriously worried, okay? Let's not freak him out any more," urged Phil.
"Sorry, Alan," said Stu looking at Jess and Alan. "You know what? We'll search the car for clues and everything's gonna be okay." A moment later a sound came of an approaching car.
"Oh, shit. I can't watch—" cried Jess turning in her spot on the wooden porch. She turned back though in curiosity.
"Just tell me what it looks like—" said Alan.
"Not looking. Not looking—" muttered Stu holding his hands up. Jess watched as the person driving pulled up beside them between her fingers. She stood up a moment later and laughed. There was nothing wrong with the car. NOTHING!
"Wow. All right," said Phil happily.
"Oh, thank God," exclaimed Stu, dropping his arms.
"You see? It's gonna be all right," Phil added at Stu, as Jess and Alan stood up.
After doing a quick search and finding nothing at first, Jess hopped into the back seat with Alan.
"Anything?" asked Phil in the driver's seat after checking the visor. Stu was looking through the glove-compartment and the floor.
"Hmm, I got a cigar," he said showing the others, before throwing it aside.
"Oh, I found, uh..." said Jess, but she was looking are the items in Alan's hands.
"These are some black shoes," Alan commented handing them to Jess to hold.
"They women's shoes?" questioned Phil, looking back for a moment.
"I don't know," answered Jess, handing them to Stu.
"Whose are those?" Phil asked again as Stu looked at the shoes.
"I don't know. It's a men's size 6," he replied reading the inside tag.
"What is this, a snakeskin?"
"ALAN THAT'S GROSS!" screamed Jess pushing herself away from him. What the hell is with him and finding condoms everywhere! Alan pulled up the condom and showed it around to Stu.
"Oh, come on! Ew!" shouted Stu as Alan placed it on his shoulder.
"That's a used condom, Alan," confirmed Phil looking back for few second to see what was going on. Stu somehow threw it back at Alan hitting him in the head.
"Oh, God. Blah!" smiled Alan throwing it forward again. Jess covered her mouth and tried not to laugh hard.
"Get it out of the car," shouted Phil, swerving in the road. "Gross, it's wet! I don't want the thing. Hey! Come on. I got jizz on me. Jesus Christ, guys!"
"Get it out," laughed Stu as he watched Phil roll down the window one-handed with the thing on him.
"Fuck!" shouted Phil throwing the condom out his window. Pulling onto a road from the main street, Phil slammed his foot on the brake causing them to all fall forward. As he turned around swiftly in his seat, Jess saw his eyes were lit up in anger at them. He then began to scowling at the three people around him.
"Oh, my God! All right, what the fuck, man? We gotta get this shit together, guys!" he roared loudly at them, his eyes jumping from Stu to Alan, and settling on Jess who looked at Stu. Inside they smiled trying to hide his smile of Phil having a condom on his shoulder. Then suddenly there was thump. A very loud thump that made all four of them stop and look at one another.
"What was that?" asked Alan looking at Jess.
"It's in the trunk," whispered Jess realizing the noise came from behind her and Stu.
"Doug's in the trunk," Stu said loudly.
"Oh, fuck! Holy shit!" Phil and Stu screamed together as they all jumped out of the car and raced to the trunk.
"Open it! Open it! Open it!" screamed Stu at Phil, who seemed to lose his handling on the keys. Jess snapped the keys of his hands, slowly inching the keys in the lock. There was so much excitement about what was the trunk; she had to do this slowly.
"Okay, okay, okay," said Phil behind her. Her fingers wrapped around the base and slowly the key turned, unlocking the trunk. However just as she unlocked it, the door flew open revealing a naked man bolting out. Jess was thrown to the ground as he jumped onto Phil. He repeatedly hit him in the back, before Phil pushed him off of his body and took several steps back. Grabbing for Jess as the naked man took aim at Stu with a crowbar, Jess froze in place afraid of what to do. The naked had hit Stu three times before turning sharply hitting Phil again in the face, sending his aviator glasses flying. A moment later the man took aim at Jess striking her in the arm causing her to fall down over Phil's body.
"Please! Please! Please stop!" yelled Alan at the man.
"Fuck," screamed Jess grasping her arm. Beside her, Phil was grasping his face in pain. This was worse than the police station!
"Whoa. I'm with you, I'm with you!" shouted Alan holding up his hands trying to distract the naked man from his friends. He could see they were all howling in pain at the damage the little Asian naked man did.
"You gonna fuck on me?" asked the man waving the crowbar like a baton at a football game.
"Nobody's gonna fuck on you!" The naked man seemed unconvinced. "We're on your side. I hate Godzilla! I hate him too. I hate him! He destroys cities! Please!"
The man went to hit Alan again but he moved a few feet preventing that from happening.
"This isn't your fault. I'll get you some pants." The naked man threw the crow bar at Alan, hitting in in the head, and he then ran off in to the desert of Las Vegas.
"What the fuck was that?" asked Phil pulling himself into a sitting position against the car.
"I have internal bleeding. Somebody call 911," begged Stu rolling in the dirt.
"That was some fucked up shit," coughed Phil. Jess managed to somehow stand and lean against the car only to feel herself begin to slump back down. While gathering herself up again, she checked over her arm praying there was minimal bruising.
"Who was that guy? He was so mean," asked Phil sitting by the back tire.
"Guys, there's something I need to tell you." Jess looked at Alan with wonder. Surely he didn't have anything to do with this whole fucking thing… NO SURELY NOT ALAN!... Jess felt her heart begin to beat faster as Alan explained. "Last night on the roof, before we went out... I slipped something in our Jägermeister," he confessed.
Jess would have felt her jaw drop if it could. Slowly she looked up from her arm and felt the bile rise in her stomach. "Are you fucking serious," she yelled at him clenching her fists into her clothes.
"What?" the guys asked of Alan.
"I'm sorry, I fudged up, guys," said Alan with his head low.
"You drugged us?" asked Stu, holding himself back a bit but wanting to beat the idiot alive.
"No, I didn't drug you. I was told it was ecstasy."
"Well, who told you it was ecstasy?" requested Phil.
"The guy I bought it from at the liquor store," he confessed.
"Why would you give us ecstasy?" Jess looked at Phil, wanting to know that answer too. Alan looked genuinely upset by his actions.
"I wanted everybody to have a good time and I knew you guys wouldn't take it. It was just one hit each. I used to do three hits a night."
"But it wasn't ecstasy, Alan, it was roofies! You drugged a teenager! Alan that's a felony!" shrieked Stu pointing at Jess.
"You think I knew that, Stu?"
Jess moved so fast that neither Stu or Phil had a chance to stop her. She got right into Alan's face seconds later, pointing her finger directing into his cheek. Fury had taken over her and the red welt across her arm was no longer the object of her pain. It was now her anger directed at him, and solely him. Jess saw the fear in his eyes and he knew it. She felt her chest expose as the screamed at the top of her lungs.
"Yeah Alan, we did! Okay you're a fucking child, aren't you? You are a fucking child who can't operate with Daddy fucking fixing every damn thing in your life! Are you fucking serious?! You drugged us!" she shrieked grabbing fists full of his shirt. Her eyes showed she wanted to murder and rightfully so. Jess' hand was mere inches from Alan's face, and she was ready to strike him when Phil grabbed her by the arms, gripping her tightly. She howled as his fingers tightened on where the naked man had hit her again. It had momentarily paralyzed her in pain.
"The guy I bought it from seemed like a real straight shooter," Alan said back watching Jess being held down by Phil.
"You mean the drug dealer at the liquor store wasn't a good guy?" screeched Jess before Stu would answer the question. She was struggling to get out of Phil's arms, but the older man was much stronger than he appeared. Jess was thrashing about so much; that she made them fall unto the dirty sandy ground.
"You aren't moving Jessica!" he muttered in her ear trying to keep a hold of her body a second time. "Calm down!" When she didn't get in his reach, she scrambled to her feet throwing her hands at Alan.
"NO! FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU!" she screamed, pointing at Alan again. "This fucker drugged us Phil! How you can be so whatever about this? We broke so many laws because of what he did!"
Jess felt like her chest might explode again as she lowered her arm and turned to Phil. He held up his hands and offered a silent prayer to her. Please don't kill him, she read from his expression.
"Let's just calm down," asked Phil again, standing between Alan and the murderous duo of Stu and Jess. Her arm was still by her side for now, her fist was clenched so much that the color in her hand was turning white. She gave Alan another vicious look but crossed her arms defiantly in protest.
"You fucking calm down!" snapped Stu aiming at Phil now. "He drugged us. I lost a tooth. I married a whore—"
"How dare you! She's a nice lady!" criticized Alan with hurt in his voice. Jade was indeed a nice lady, but she was an escort. Not exactly a good thing for a simple dentist who was currently dating the biggest bitch in California.
"You are such a fucking moron," screamed Stu.
"Your language is offensive," Alan said.
"Fuck you!" shrieked Jess and Stu together.
"All right, let's just take a deep breath, okay?" said Phil. "Seriously, this is a good thing. At least it's not some stranger who drugged us for God knows what reason!" Phil's eyes darted between the angered dentist and student before eyeing Alan.
"Yeah, you're right, Phil, it's totally a good thing. We're so much better off now," Stu added sarcastically. "Here's something I would like to remind you two of that only Jess seems to understand. Our best friend Doug is probably face down in a ditch right now... with a meth-head butt-fucking his corpse!"
"That's highly unlikely," said Alan.
Phil held up his hands to stop them and spoke up loudly. "Does not help. All right, let's get our shit together, guys. Let's go back to the hotel, and I'm gonna make a couple calls. Maybe Doug's back there. Maybe he's asleep. Come on! Let's go."
"Jess? Little help?" asked Alan from the front tire.
"Shut up," she replied and swung open the door. As Alan's head was hit by the door, Jess threw herself into the seat before ignoring the others around her. She didn't care about Alan getting up or even if he was okay. After all, her anger was justified. Stu looked mortified at the display Jess gave to Alan.
She didn't care that Alan was getting up right as she opened the door because a moment later he was yelling oww at them. Jess gave Alan another look of frustration and took a seat in the back of the car.
Jessica Billings was one girl never to cross wrong again, they all mentally checked away in memory. Phil started up the Mercedes and began to drive away as Jess' phone began to ring again. She muted it after a few times, but her determination to avoid conversation with them was evident. A confused look crossed her face as Phil looked back a moment before they pulled into the hotel.
What happened? I saw you last night and this morning we were supposed to meet up for breakfast – Jason
