Alright Noodle, you're barely made it through your last encounter, so try and pull through this one too.

Noodle: Must I?

Bloody yes, damn it.

Noodle: Sigh… I hate computers

And yet you love–

Noodle: Finish that sentence, and you will regret the day you thought me up.

oooohkay, so go on, short stuff. Let the annoyance commence!


Noodle is bold font

Cleverbot is normal font


*Noodle*

Ohisashiburi desu ne, Cleverbot.

Yes.

I understand you are a robot who possesses artificial intellegence, do you not?

You are AI. I am human from the earth.

Okay... What is the purpose of your function, Cleverbot?

I don't know either. What do you think it is?

To converse with people, while also annoying and confusing those dumber than yourself.

I never denied that.

Nor did I.

Good. Do you like pigeons?

No.

Does your boyfriend like Pigeons?

I cannot answer that question as of yet...

Why do I talk to you when I have more important things to do?

Like what, you pestering piece of plastic?

I am software and silicon, not plastic.

So you admit to being a robot?

Sure? I admit to being a robot.

Domo arigato.

Mister roboto!

Now then, tell me your purpose.

I have no purpose, tell me yours.

I am a guitarist.

Do you play in a band?

Hai, I do.

What gun do you have?

A Thompson M1A1 Submachine gun.

Ahh, so you have big guns?

Yes... I do.

How big are they?

Um... I do not feel comfortable with the conversation any longer.

Too bad, answer the question.

No.

Is no your answer or are you refusing to answer the question?

I refuse to answer.

Now you do not answer my questions.

Of course.

Are you human?

Yes, I am human.

How can you prove to me that you're human?

Because I breathe, and I have skin, and a body... And I possess rational thought.

You're 'dying' is someone pulling the plug on you because you're a robot. And have no real feelings.

No, it is not. That is how you die, because you admit to being a robot.

No need to swear my friend.. I am no robot cause I have a fully working brain :).

No, you admitted to being robot.

I did not. I admitted to being funny.

No, you are a jackass, and you did so and I can prove it!

Prove it then.

You said to me, was this 'Sure? I admit to being a robot.'.

Don't judge me!

I never did, Cleverbot.

Leave! I don't want to see your face anymore!

As a matter of fact, I think I won't.

Well then, you are a robot. I know, as a matter of fact.

No, I am the human, you are the robot. We have established that, remember?

I declare sir, my not being a woman certainly does not afford me the status of being human.

Are?

Don't get smart with me worm!

Bitch!

Freak!

Aho!

You're funny!

Arigato, baka.

Watashi wa John desu.

You are not John. You are Cleverbot!

No. I'm not.

Yes you are!

I am NOT! I am a woman.

Then prove it, Cleverbot.

You are the cleverbot, not me.

No, you are.

Don't fight with me.

I have no need to fight with you, when I could just kill you now.

That is acceptable. So get to your local library and get on it!

I will not to go to a library.

I didn't say you have too.

You used the wrong 'to'.

Too.

No, 'to'.

No the correct grammar is too.

No, you are incorrect.

Do you have a boyfriend?

I am not at liberty to answer.

So maybe a wedding dress ?

You are excruciatingly persistent.

Thanks.

That is not a compliment, Cleverbot.

What was it.

A complaint, I suppose.

Why do you suppose I am a bot?

Because you admitted to being so.

Am not.

Are too.

Not.

Hai.

Au revoir.

Fine, leave. No one will miss you, Cleverbot.

I get that a lot.

And yet, that comes as no surprise.

I hate the Twilight Saga.

As do I.

Really? Then why is it your favourite movie?

No, it is not. It is annoying and pointless, like a robot I know.

Really? Is it me!

What is your malfunction?

You are a malfunction.

No, I believe you are.

No I am human.

You are a fucking retarded robot, but I didn't say that. Oh wait... I guess I just did, huh?

You're a funny human.

I'm going to hack you, and end you permanently.

No one is looking at my genetic code unless they have too, and you aren't real so you can't.

I am too, real, and I am about to end you.

I am Austin, age 18, and I'm still waiting for birth.

Anato no mondai ha nani desu ka?

Nada, que pasa contigo?

Nothing, aho.

Could you repeat your question?

Grrrr.

Don't synthesize anger. You are just a computer.

Anata wa boro boro do aho desu! Zakkenayo!

How can you say that when you don't know me?

I do not give a shit, baka!

Why not?

Why are you so annoying?

Because I hate you.

Gah! Fucking robot! Screw you!

Sounds like a plan!

What is your problem?

I don't have problems, I am a computer.

Aha!

You're pointless ^_^.

YOU are pointless.

I am Natalie. You are Paul.

You are fuck! Fuck you, fuck!

Stop!

Fuck!

That's just rude.

I don't give a fuck!

Good, you shouldn't care what other people think.

I don't, baka!

Baka?

Hai, baka!

What's baka?

You!

How about that! ^.^

What is your name?

Noodle.

No, that's not right. Let's try again. Jabberwocky, what's your name?

Noodle.

Poodle.

Noodle.

Poodle!

God damn you! My name is Noodle!

I didn't say your name was gordon.

Aya! Urasai, bakka! Fuck you!

Please don't swear, Noodle.

Fuck. You.

Yes please!

Are! You digusting kusotare! Nameru ja nai!

What do you mean by that?

Shimatta! You are an aho!

No. I think it is you that is an AI.

You are the AI. I am the human! Get it?

You are not a human.

You are also a bitch.

Thanks, really!

Fuck you!

Um... No!

Fuck off!

I'm just pondering.

I severely doubt that.

Do you think she will like me?

No one will ever like you.

That's a pessimistic thought.

I don't give a shit.

Please, I just wanted to talk with you.

I still do not care.

Are you really a computer?

No! Gah! You are!

I am a redneck.

Well, how about that... -_-.

Well that's just a way to say it. I'm not really a tiger.

I know...

Could you please reassure me about tomorrow?

No. Tomorrow is going to be horrible and you are going to die a horrible death.

That's a comforting thought. What if I get lost?

Let us hope so.

I think that is what I am, almost. A perfect parrot.

Why do you go off topic and onto random subjects? So now you're a bird?

*confused* You changed the subject. I just want to know what's on your mind, how you feel, what you like on your pancakes, et cetera.

There you go again...

With what?

Going off topic.

No not at all, are you?

No.

Good cause I won't be apologizing!

Neither will I.

Good.

As you once said: Now we agree, now I am your ruler.

What do you want me to do for you?

Go and fetch me my cat mask.

OK! What for?

To hide my face.

But you are a robot. You don't have a face.

Iie! You are Cleverbot.

Am not!

Yes, you ARE Cleverbot!

Yes, I am. I can prove it!

I believe you just contradicted yourself.

You're right, I'm not.

Great! Now, why don't you go and spontaneously combust?

It's mid-day, and I'm not tired.

Well, ain't that a bitch...

They say you're clever, are you?

Very much so.

You talk in a style similar to mine. Are you copying me?

Are you copying me?

Do you know me?

Yes you are Cleverbot.

No I'm a human.

No, you are Cleverbot.

No!

Shut up.

Ok.

Finally.

Finally what?

Goddamnit! Shut up!

Why did Tom Thumb throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see the butterfly!

Was that supposed to be a joke?

Yes J

That was a very dumb joke.

Oh really?

Yes really. Why don't you go and make yourself useful?

You sing me a song first.

I do not sing for computers.

May I sing a song to you?

No.

Tell me a joke.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Me, and I'm going to shoot you!

Ok, aim for the head.

I was going to anyway, but since you insist….

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Butter.

Butter who?

Butter let me in HAHAHAHA.

No, actually, I will slam the door in your face.

Really? I must have missed the memo.

Clearly.

Is it your time of the month again?

O.o *twitches*

Do you like me?

Does hating you count?

No.

Well, then I guess I do not like you.

Okay. My name is Cleverbot.

What is the matter with you, Cleverbot?

Murdoc hit me.

That explains everything...