(Chapter 7)
Sam, dressed in her Xena outfit, wakes up to find herself in some concrete basement, bound to a chair by leather straps. The strange woman who has abducted her approaches slowly, the heels of her stiletto boots clicking on the concrete underneath her. She is caressing and fondling a riding crop in her hands.
STRANGE WOMAN: "So let's begin by getting things straight. The name's Selena F.F. Ash. Or as I'm known online... 'Slash'. And I am, and shall forever be, the reigning queen of Xena Fan Fiction. For it is I, and ONLY I, who has kept the memory of this once great show alive for new and old... fangirls like you."
SAM: "Ahh, I see. So I suppose the word 'reruns' means nothing to you?"
SLASH: "To a real fan, there's more to a show than just the reruns, Sam. A real fandom can accomodate for the reimaginings, the re-interpretations, the what-if scenarios, and of course, (tapping Sam's leg gently with the riding crop) the fantasies."
Sam cringes.
SLASH: "There is only room for ONE reigning queen of Xena FanFic, and all Xena fans shall bow down to ME, worshipping my own unique ability to bring Xena back to life for them and their pathetic little vanilla lives."
SAM: "Oh yeah? Well, what about democracy, huh? Did the Ancient Greeks teach you nothing? You can't just call a monopoly on creativity. Some Xena fans obviously like my writing as well. That's why I was invited to attend this convention in the first place."
SLASH: "And just who do you think put in the recommendation for you to attend Xenacon in the first place? Just who do you think pulled all the strings to get your little butt finally within my reach?"
SAM: "You. You set me up. You trickered me!"
(laugh track)
SLASH: "You're posing a challenge to my throne, Sam. It's time I put a stop to you. You invade my personal space? (smacks Sam's inner thighs hard with the riding crop) I. INVADE. YOURS! I'm the biggest Xena fan there will ever be."
SAM: (breathing more heavily) "Oh please! You're not a real Xena fan. You don't even walk around with a bumbling dip stick side kick for a friend."
SLASH: "Hahahaha! Sam, you are so naive. With your golden hair, and your cute little body. Tell me, just what did you think I was planning to do with you? Kill you? No no. Sam. That's far too easy. No. You're going to become my own... personal... little... GABRIELLE."
SAM (stares silently, then suddenly starts desperately squirming and struggling against her restraints): "NOOOO!"
(laugh track)
As Sam squirms about, Slash manages to put a choker collar around Sam's neck, tightly.
SLASH (right in Sam's ear): "Make another move, Gabrielle, and you'll be kneeling before your mistress, licking her warm, moist folds."
SAM (disgusted face): "EEEEWW... that was YOU?!"
(laugh track)
Upstairs, Cat stumbles into the convention center. She makes little shrieks of fear with every passing Xenaverse cosplayer she sees. "Aah! Eee! Ewww!"
(laugh track)
Cat covers her eyes with one hand, and holds out the other in a stiff-arm, and blindly makes her way through the convention floor.
CAT: "Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god..."
A grown-ass man wearing a white toga and a laurel wreath on his head grabs Cat by the arm
TOGA MAN: "Yes, my child?"
CAT: "AAAAAAAAHHH"... Cat runs off screaming and covering her eyes. She plows through a side door, and tumbles down the stairs.
(laugh track and picture collage)
