The Horse and Butterfly
By Jim Robert Bader
(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi & Others)
Chapter Seven.
Skating on the Edge
Akane sighed, her mood hardly lightened by her recent visit to Doctor Tofu's clinic. She had thought she had found the perfect excuse to pay him a visit...the returning of a book that Kasumi had borrowed from his personal library. Surely he could have said thank you or at the very least notice her for delivering the book in person, but all it took was for the doctor to be reminded of Kasumi and his glasses immediately fogged up, then he went into his befuddled act, behaving like a loon and even shredding the very book that Akane had just delivered. It really was quite phenomenal and depressing how such a normally calm and together man could go all to pieces just thinking about her sister...
Not that she could blame him, of course. Akane knew full well that Kasumi had all of the qualities that she personally lacked as a woman, being tall, beautiful and quite capable as both a housewife and a possible mother. Any man who noticed her would be a fool to consider anyone else as a girlfriend, let alone a young schoolgirl who lacked many feminine talents, and besides which she was violent and clumsy and a bit of a tomboy...and other non-feminine things that nice guys like Doctor Tofu could not possibly want to like...
She sighed again, more depressed than ever, especially when she contrasted her non-relationship with the man she admired against the budding affair that was developing between a boy she found incredibly annoying (and could stand to be around without getting violent) and her older-middle sister, a relationship so subtle that even the principle participants seemed oblivious to the full implications.
Not that she expected any thaw in the ice to happen too soon between those two. Ranma was coarse and crude, typifying many of the things she found most annoying in the male sex, while Nabiki prided herself on being the opposite of this, well-read and considerably more lady-like than Akane...which only just barely masked her predatory inclinations. It was surprising that she got along as well as she did with Ranma, whose table manners and speech were just this shy of totally barbaric, and given that Ranma was as impulsive and headstrong as he was conceited, it looked well as if Nabiki would have her hands full just cultivating the more rudimentary manners in her iinazuke. Now, if she could only break him of the habit of saying whatever came to mind, then Akane might well learn to be civil around him and not have to break any furniture over his head just to get him to be quiet...
...Which, of course, did beg the question that was puzzling Akane in other respects, namely why their fathers were so intent on there being a Saotome/Tendo marriage in the first place? Simply uniting the two halves of the Anything Goes school hardly seemed like an adequate reason in Akane's mind for effectively selling two of their children into the bonds of marriage, and Akane did not know which half to be the more pitied in this affair, Ranma or her sister.
"Huh," she said aloud as she thought on it some more, "Those two deserve each other if ever anyone did. Serves Nabiki right for always exploiting everybody she comes in contact like they were a resource. Bet she'll have her hands full playing manager to that ill-bred baka..."
Of course the diversion this provided her could only last so long until she started thinking once again about her no-way relationship with Doctor Tofu. She sighed again as she thought about how she might come across to him if she ever did work up the courage to reveal her true feelings. He would probably say she was suffering from a schoolgirl crush and attempt to let her down gently, and Akane would be crushed if that were to happen. She wanted to be taken seriously, like a mature and independent woman. If only she could seem more mature to Tofu-Sensei...she had thought growing her hair long, like Kasumi's, might do the trick, but so far she had not seen any reaction or even a token notice by Tofu-chan that she was no longer the mere child whom he had nursed for years. Instead the man had eyes only for Kasumi, who hardly seemed to notice the baka way that he behaved whenever she was in his presence.
"Yeah," she murmured to herself again, "Some great hope that is...that Kasumi won't notice forever. Sooner or later she's going to get a clue, and then..."
And then it would be all over. Kasumi would have but to nod her head and smile at him and she would have Tofu as her own forever.
"What is wrong with those two?" she wondered aloud for the umpteenth time, her exasperation and melancholy only deepening the longer she brooded on this topic, "Sure, Kasumi can be a little fuzzy on noticing some details, and she's never seen the Doctor when she's not around, so..."
So, maybe there was a slight chance that Tofu's one-way infatuation might not amount to anything, in which case Akane could still pick him up on the rebound.
"That's right!" she declared, "I can't give up hope yet...there's still a chance, and maybe in another year or so..." she sighed, deflated as her brief attempt at rallying her spirits flagged under the weight of her own self-doubts, "Yeah...right, and maybe I'll meet a really decent guy my own age...like that would ever happen..."
"Damn you, Ranma! This is all your fault!"
Akane blinked. Those had definitely NOT been her words, though they sounded like something that she might have delivered on a different topic. She turned and saw immediately a young man, roughly her own age, standing some meters away looking lost, confused and frustrated, which-added to his overall appearance-
-gave him the aspect of a wild boy from the countryside who had just gotten himself lost in the big city.
"Excuse me?" Akane asked, surprising said boy, who had not noticed her until she had spoken.
"Uh...never mind," he responded, then he hesitated a second before asking, "By the way...can you tell me how to get to Furinkan High School?"
"Huh?" Akane reacted in surprise at the unexpected request.
"I need to get to Furinkan High School," the boy repeated, "It's very important. I have to meet someone there, so can you tell me where it is?"
"Oh...sure," Akane replied, "I go there, but it's after hours and there won't be anyone about. Why do you want to get to Furinkan?"
"It's...personal," the boy balled his fists and his expression was briefly less human, more bestial as his eyes focused on something else besides her and he revealed very pronounced canines as he fought his anger down, "I need to find someone...it's a matter of honor."
"Ranma?" Akane asked, taking a stab at a really obvious notion, and was rewarded by seeing the anger be replaced with surprise in the unknown boy's expression.
"How did you know?" he asked.
"You were shouting his name out very loudly a minute ago," Akane tactfully pointed out.
"Oh," he duly noted, "Well...yeah...his name is Ranma...Saotome Ranma, and when I find him I'm going to kill him..."
"Do tell?" Akane only slightly evidenced surprise over this, knowing enough about Ranma by now to consider this response not entirely out of the question, "What did he do to you to make you feel like that?"
"It's...it's personal, okay?" the boy said somewhat sullenly, then glanced away and in more deferential tones explained, "I knew him a few years ago...when he broke a man-to-man promise. Since that day I've been seeking him out to avenge my honor, and when the day of retribution is at hand..."
"Okay, I got it," Akane said, "So he did something to upset you a lot, huh? Sounds pretty much like the baka..."
The boy turned a questioning look back her way, "Do you know him?"
"Hey, it's not by choice, believe me," Akane replied, "He's rude, coarse, stuck-
up and he calls me a Tomboy..."
"He does?" the other boy blinked again, then frowned, "That sounds like the Ranma I knew..."
"By the way," Akane brightened, "My name is Tendo Akane, who are you?"
"Oh..." the boy looked momentarily chagrined, "I'm sorry...I forget myself sometimes. It's Hibiki...Hibiki Ryoga."
"Hibiki Ryoga?" Akane thought the name somehow appropriate. It made him sound like a thundering mountain, and from the way he moved she could tell he had training in the martial arts, "Well, it's nice to meet you, Ryoga."
"Thank you," he said politely, bowing to her slightly before adding, "Now, if you will excuse me, Miss Tendo, I have to go find and kill Ranma..."
"Call me Akane," she said with a pleasant smile that was as natural as her instinctive liking for the boy's polite manners, "Miss Tendo makes me feel like my older sister."
"Oh...ah..." he rubbed a hand to the back of his head and said, "You sure you won't mind? I mean...we only just met and all..."
Right off the spot Akane felt like getting down on her knees and kissing the ground. At last...she had finally met a boy who didn't slobber all over her or drool like a pig and wasn't "checking her out" with his eyes. In fact there was a sense that this was a boy who would never dream of acting improperly towards any girl, which made her feel a lot "safer" around him than she would with a drooling idiot like Kuno. If anything his self-effacing manner was a very cute contrast from the blunt impoliteness of a certain aquasexually challenged Hentai whom she could mention...
"Sure I won't mind," Akane said, "In fact, I'll even show you the way to Furinkan. It's just a few blocks from here, you can't miss it."
"Why...thank you," the boy said, "I don't know what to say. So few people want to be helpful these days, they always keep pointing me in the wrong direction."
"People can be cruel," Akane sympathized, "Just follow me, then you can tell me all about why you want to kill Ranma."
She did not add that there were times when she felt like killing the baka herself, but that she refrained from further violence out of respect for Nabiki, reasoning that if anyone had the right to kill her own iinazuke, it would be her mercenary sister. In fact she wanted to know if there were a way of cooling down the other boy's wrath for that very same reason, though she was beginning to suspect that the truth-if fully revealed-would doubtless make her feel a little vengeful in regards to a jerk like Saotome Ranma...
"Oh man," Ranma groaned as he sat down to eat his sundae, "I am so starving! Training's hard work on an empty stomach, you know..."
"Do tell?" Nabiki asked dryly as she sampled her own sundae, sitting across from her iinazuke at the cafe table they had chosen inside the local malt shop, "In which case you ought to be used to the experience, considering what a bottomless pit you normally have..."
"Oh, har-har," Ranma growled acidly, "Like you're a fine one to talk about bottomless stomachs."
Nabiki froze in the act of placing her spoon into her mouth, "I beg your pardon?"
"Face it, 'Biki," he smiled as he sensed an opening, "For a girl who watches her figure as much as you do, you can't spend five minutes without putting something inside your mouth. I've been watching you for weeks now, and you're always sucking on a piece of candy or munching on a cracker or chewing on something in your mouth...which is really weird considering how I don't know where you pack it away. You're as thin as a rail, at least around the stomach..."
Nabiki carefully put her spoon back down and glared at her fianc , "Are we going to start comparing figures now, Ranma-kun? And what do you mean around my stomach?"
"Hey, you know," Ranma shrugged, "All that fat must go to your hips or something. I mean...you got a nice enough figure, but the way you eat it's a surprise to me that you don't look real bloated."
Nabiki took her time trying to decipher the meaning of that, but then a wicked impulse made her leer at him as she smiled and said, "You're saying I have a thin waist and a fat stomach, eh? And I suppose you also think I'm a bit wide around my chest, eh?"
"Huh?" Ranma blinked, "Uh...well..." he actually looked down at her then said, "You look about right there...I mean...uh...well...you curve nice, ah..."
Nabiki decided to follow up on her mischievous impulse and reached up with both hands to cup her own breasts so as to press them together and form a very visible gulf in her triangular cleavage, "You mean you like the way these look?"
Ranma's eyes got extremely round as he stared at her there, then hastily looked away with a stammered, "Ah-well-I mean..."
"Is he bothering you again, Miss?"
Nabiki glanced in annoyance at Yamashina Kensuke, who had been sitting another booth down with his sister, Aido, sharing their own lunch together. The rail-
thin boy who had been serving as Ranma's training partner during their preparations for the big skating match was smirking in an altogether amused manner while Aido looked on coyly with a hidden smile that promised real trouble.
"No thanks," Nabiki said in mild reproof, "I can manage my own burdens."
"Sounds to me like he paid you a double compliment," Aido mused as she studied the two partners, "After all, he thinks you've got a perfect hourglass figure, and he just checked you out, which must prove that he's human after all, and I was starting to wonder..."
"Huh?" Ranma blinked, "What the heck do you...?"
"You two have been working out on the icerink every day for most of a week," Kensuke explained for his benefit, "And in that time you've had to operate in very close contact with one another, so if you didn't notice that your partner was a woman I'd really have to wonder about you."
"Hey, it ain't like that!" Ranma immediately protested, "I know Nabiki is a girl, you think I'm blind to that and I don't know she feels different when I...ah..." he paused and glanced at his iinazuke, then looked away again with a troubled expression.
"I certainly hope that you would notice that I'm female, Ranma-kun," Nabiki dryly remarked, "Considering that you also know intimately what that feels like..."
"Oh yeah?" Aido brightened, "And how do you figure that?"
"Oh, nothing, just a private joke between us, right Ranma-kun?" Nabiki favored her companion with a particularly sweet expression.
"What, does he like to dress in women's clothes or something?" Kensuke asked.
"Hey, that ain't funny!" Ranma immediately protested.
"Depends on your definition of what's funny," Nabiki said, "But you're right, it's not a laughing matter...at least not from your perspective."
"What, you mean he really does dress in women's clothing?" Aido asked.
"NO!" both Ranma and Nabiki said together.
"So, you still got secrets you're keeping to yourself, Saotome," Kensuke smiled, "Fair enough. The point is that you really are improving a lot in your skating. I gotta say, I never thought you could make this much progress..."
"Yes," Aido agreed, "And do you know how many betting pools I've had going on that? Most guys at our school bet pretty heavily that you'd get your ass whipped when you face the Golden Pair in a couple of days."
"I see," Nabiki calmly replied, "So, are you making a killing?"
"Not yet," Aido replied, "Truth to tell, I didn't think he'd get this far this soon either, but it's a long way to go before he can get close to matching Senzenen Mikado."
"Hey, I'll beat that guy, no problem," Ranma said confidently, "Now that I know how to balance and fight on the ice..."
"It takes more than that to match Mikado," Kensuke replied, "I made the same mistake that you're making now when Aido and I went up against them. He's fast, tough and tricky, and he's got a lot of moves based on breaking up couples."
"Then we have less to fear," Nabiki assured them, "Ranma-kun and I are not a couple."
"Uh-huh," Aido smiled, "Pull the other one."
"Hey, we're only engaged because our stupid parents insisted on it," Ranma snapped, "It's not like we agreed to it or nothing."
"Right," Nabiki said, "As far as Ranma-kun and I are concerned it's just a business arrangement."
"Do tell?" Aido's smile grew more predatory, "So you wouldn't mind if Mikado tries to kiss your partner, Saotome?"
"Huh?" Ranma blinked, "I thought...um..."
"Isn't that supposed to be what I concede if we lose?" Nabiki asked for him.
"You don't know Senzenen," Kensuke shook his head, "At some point early in the fight he'll try and take that kiss, and if you give him the least little opening..."
"Then you'd better pucker up and take it," Aido growled, then made a point of spitting off to one side, not caring how unfeminine a gesture this might have seemed to the other patrons.
Nabiki blinked her eyes at this while Ranma scowled then said, "He'd better nor try that while I'm around or..."
"So you do care what happens to her," Aido all but pounced, "I knew it!"
Before either Ranma or Nabiki could form a response to this they heard a disturbingly familiar (and sugary sweet) voice chime out, "Franscois! Franscois! I've found you, I've found you!"
Ranma winced while Nabiki faintly groaned and said, "What is she doing here?"
"Ever hear the one about the bad yen piece that keeps turning up when you least expect it?" Aido replied, her voice no longer insinuating amusement, "Well, there you have the human equivalent..."
"And look who's with her," Kensuke's voice dropped ten Celsius points as his expression darkened, "Mister 'Kami's gift to all Women' himself."
"Senzenen?" Ranma turned and saw the young lady-killer in question.
"Put it down, Azusa," the handsome skater was instructing his frilly-laced partner, "We're here to train, not acquire more of your nit-knacks..."
"Don't say or do nothing," Kensuke urged, "Just keep silent and hope they don't notice us..."
"Especially that twit, Azusa," Aido murmured at the level of a bare whisper.
As if on cue Mikado turned around and was about to walk right past their table, all but dragging his partner along from her latest attempted acquisition, when he paused to take stock of who was sitting there calmly sampling her ice cream. Like a hound who had sniffed the scent of the fox he turned and said, "Well now...what have we here? You do look familiar..."
"Really?" Nabiki asked without looking up, "Forgotten all about me already?"
"Hardly," Mikado smiled, "I never forget such radiant beauty when I bask within its presence. A rare flower such as you can only be appreciated when viewed at close proximity, at which point the fragrance of your aroma must draw honey bees like a swarm..."
Ranma's eyes sharply narrowed, and without half-noticing he bent his spoon between his fingers as he glared up at the smooth-talking Mikado.
Nabiki hid a cunning smile that would have done credit to a barracuda, but without looking up she said, "Such flattery must turn quite a few heads where you come from, but a girl needs more than pretty words to earn her interest."
"Oh?" Mikado asked with a raised eyebrow, "And what, pray tell, would earn your fascination, my dear?"
"Well, that all depends," Nabiki mused in a deceptively mild tone of voice, coyly noticing how Ranma looked ready to spit nails, like Kensuke, "What do you have to offer?"
"Well now," Mikado mused, "That all depends on what you're offering in return."
"Sorry," Nabiki replied, "I don't give things away for free, you know. You'd have to make me an offer first, and then I'll consider if it's worth my attention."
"How intriguing," Mikado remarked, "You pique my interest. As you know I am from a moderately wealthy family and if it were a matter of mere trinkets then I could tempt you with baubles and trifles whose worth would surely pale when compared with your..."
All at once a half-eaten bowl of ice cream was shoved into his face, causing Mikado to recoil in stunned surprise, having not anticipated such an angry gesture.
"Get lost, Creep," Ranma growled, "We don't want any."
Nabiki blinked and glanced at the anger that was smoldering in the eyes of her iinazuke, who had half risen from his seat with the look of one intending further mayhem. Kensuke and Aido backed away from their booth, sensing the impending mayhem and not wanting to be caught in the crossfire as Mikado calmly reached for a handkerchief and cleared the half-melted ice-cream that was currently obscuring his vision.
"Now was that called for?" Mikado asked with surprising calm as he cleared his eyes and looked at her assailant.
"Naw, probably not," Ranma replied as he stood facing the other young man, "But then I'm just a barbarian, right? Which means I get kinda violent when I get pissed."
"Indeed?" Mikado regarded the other young man with a haughty expression, "And are you staking out your claim to this lady's affections?"
"That's got nothing to do with it!" Ranma winced somewhat defensively, "But if you don't back off now you're going out the door horizontal."
"Ranma..." Nabiki tried to get his attention.
"How absurd," Mikado sniffed, "Such an uncultured boor is not worth the time or attention of such a lady of refinement. It is an offense against nature to even find you sitting across from her in such a casual setting."
"Ranma-kun," Nabiki arched her tone to get his attention, "Back off. I don't need you to fight my battles."
"Hey, it's no skin off my nose if you want to flirt with this cheap bozo," Ranma cupped his hands behind his head and tried to act nonchalant, "Go ahead and sell yourself off if that's what you want, Nabiki, but you ask me, he's the one who ain't worth your time, so you decide how mercenary you wanna get with him, I just know I can't stand being downwind of such a smelly rat."
Real anger flared in Mikado's expression, but he mastered the impulse to retaliate and said stiffly, "We will settle this on the field of honor in tomorrow's contest. Be sure to put your affairs in order, fool, because you won't be walking away from this battle."
"Hell no," Ranma growled, "I'll be skipping over your phony carcass after walking all over you. Just don't try anything with Nabiki if you got any kind of honor about you. If you ain't won nothing, then nothing's what you get."
"I don't need to be lectured by the likes of you on the subject of honor," Mikado began to say, "In fact-HEY! Azusa-!"
"Pierre! Pierre!" the curly haired girl suddenly cried out, dragging Mikado after her and out of the Malt shop as she took off after yet another coveted treasure.
Nabiki counted until three before she growled aloud, "RAN-Maaaa...!"
"Huh?" Ranma blinked, recognizing that tone, "What?"
"Do you MIND if you let ME conduct BUSINESS on my own TERMS?" Nabiki emphasized each word with a special inflection, "What do you think you're doing blowing the deal like that...?"
"Hah, you mean you wanted to see yourself to that loser?" Ranma glowered.
"Of course not!" Nabiki shot back, "But I've been handling guys like that for years without giving anything away, and if you'd kept quiet and let me do my work you would have seen me fleece him for everything he's got, right down to his fillings. Do you honestly think that little of me that you'd imagine I'd sell myself off to him...?"
"Why not?" Ranma said, "You're the one who says it's all just about business!"
"You...BAKA!" Nabiki stood up with a suddenness that surprised her iinazuke and without pausing to think about it she shoved her own bowl of unfinished ice-
cream in his face and angrily stormed right past him, not even bothering to notice the sudden change in gender as Ranma shifted from male to female with an accompanying change in haircolor.
"Wow," Kensuke remarked as he watched Nabiki angrily storm out of the malt shop, "You really blew it that time, Saotome."
"W-What did I say?" came the muffled voice of a bewildered redhead whose voice was pitched several octaves higher than Ranma's usual masculine tones.
"You really need to have it explained to you?" Aido asked, only to blink and say, "Hey...did you just shrink or something?"
"Huh?" Kensuke also blinked, "Hey...you're right...you are a lot...shorter..."
"Never mind, Guys," Ranma backed away as she cleared her eyes enough to see where she was going, "Just give me a minute to clean myself up and I'll try and explain things."
"Explain things?" Kensuke asked with arched eyebrows, "This ought to be good..."
"What the heck kind of secrets are you hiding this time, Saotome?" Aido asked, suddenly very much intrigued by what she sensed to be a great mystery, and one that was in need of instant solution.
"Hey, you wouldn't believe me if I told you," Ranma explained as she left the malt shop and headed for the public rest rooms, not even pausing to see which one she had just walked through.
"Hey!" Aido said, "Did you see that?"
"Yeah?" Kensuke asked his sister, "See what?"
"That was the boy's bathroom," Aido replied, "But did that look like a boy to you just now?"
"Ah...no...now that you mention it," Kensuke reluctantly agreed, "I thought I was imagining things, but..."
"I've got to check this out," Aido said in tones that showed her bloodhound instincts were in full sway, "And you're coming with me."
"Me? But..." Kensuke started to protest, only to find himself dragged along in the wake of his inquisitive sibling.
Inside the bathroom Ranma wasted no time seeking out the water faucets, but with her vision impaired she could only turn the knobs and hope to get the hot water going, and since she was in a hurry to clean her face she splashed the cold water over her eyes and started to clean things up when she heard a voice musing pleasantly, "Well now...who do we have here?"
Ranma-chan straightened up, looked first at her own reflection, then the reflection of the person standing next to her cleaning his own face in the adjacent faucet, and murmured to herself, "Uh-oh..."
"You're a new sight in these parts," Mikado mused, glad that he had finished cleaning the ice-cream off his face in time to greet such a beauty, "Tell me, how does a fragrant flower such as you wind up wandering into my presence, not that I am complaining of my good fortune..."
"Listen guy," Ranma-chan turned around, "I ain't got time to listen to you make your pitch, so..."
"Just so," Mikado took her hands in his own before Ranma could even think to stop him, "Words are inadequate when faced with such beauty. Only actions have meaning, and so I beg you to allow me the great honor of bestowing my nine-
hundred and ninety-ninth kiss upon you, my-MPH!"
"Gah!" Ranma-chan said as she backed away with a fist planted in his face, "Don't you ever listen to anything but yourself, you Creep? I ain't got nothing to do with you, so just leave me alone!"
And with that she stormed out of the bathroom, forgetting to douse herself with hot water in the process.
"Hmmm," Mikado said as he recovered from the powerful blow with surprising resilience, "Methinks the maiden doth protest too much. Playing hard to get, now I find this very intriguing..."
"Huh?" Aido blinked as she saw the redhead coming back out from the bathroom in an angry state, "Who...?"
"Not right now," the redhead growled, "I gotta go find Nabiki."
There was a pause as Kensuke and his sister watched the redhead take off in the direction of the door, then he said aloud, "That was definitely a girl...and she's dressed just like Saotome."
"Weird," Aido replied, "Saotome really is a cross-dresser...who would have ever thought that...?"
"HEY!" Ranma-chan called out as she caught up to her glowering fianc e, "Nabiki-
-wait up!"
"Go away, Saotome!" Nabiki snapped back at the girl, who was walking along the top of a fence at her side, "You don't want to be seen with a Mercenary like me, I might exploit you, remember?"
"Hey, I didn't mean it like that!" Ranma-chan called down, then vaulted directly into the path of the other girl, "Would you wait up already? I wasn't trying to insult you or nothing..."
"Really?" Nabiki got into the shorter redhead's face, "You could have fooled me. What did you think you were doing, calling me a Prostitute back there? Implying that I'd sell off my body..."
"Huh?" Ranma-chan reacted in shock, "Sell your...I...I didn't mean..."
"Oh no?" Nabiki asked, giving him her most sardonic expression, "Well, what did you mean? Mind telling me that?"
Ranma-chan was only on the defensive for a few seconds before images of Mikado flared up in her mind again, rekindling her anger, "Well, what the heck did you mean by acting all nicey-nice with frog-face Senzenen? Did you think I was just gonna sit there and let him hit on you without doing nothing about it?"
"I told you, I-" Nabiki started to say, but now that the redhead had her dandruff up she was not about to back down and concede the lines of anger to her again.
"You talk about me not having enough feelings for how you feel!" Ranma-chan blurted out, "What do you care about my feelings? You think I like it when a slippery, slimy, smooth-talking..."
"Ranma," Nabiki tone was curious, not angry, "Why do you care? You're not...jealous, are you?"
"I-Huh?" the redhead blinked her cobalt blue eyes and said, "J-J-Jealous? Who...me?"
Nabiki drew a deep breath then let it out again, "Ranma...I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I was...responding to Senzenen's charms, but I really did know what I was doing with him, and you didn't have to hit the panic button..."
"Panic button?" Ranma-chan responded, "I wasn't panicking or nothing like that!"
"Oh no?" Nabiki looked the other girl directly in her eyes and said, "Then you really don't mind if Senzenen kisses me?"
"What?" Ranma-chan flared, "No way! If you want that slimy, smooth-talking loser to kiss you, don't let me try and stop you..."
"All right," Nabiki said, "Then when we lose tomorrow you won't mind when he collects his fee..."
"LOSE?" Ranma-chan's hackles stood on end, "You think I'm gonna lose to that guy? No way!"
"Then you will fight your best to make sure he doesn't collect his prize, eh?" Nabiki winked, "Or maybe I should just tell Senzenen that we ought to call it off, give him his prize as a consolation and leave it at that..."
"Call it off?" Ranma-chan glared, "I'd sooner kiss him myself than do that!"
"Well then," Nabiki concluded, "Since I know you hate to lose, and backing down isn't much of an option, then that means you're going to try your best when we have our match in another two days, and the fact that I'm the marker for a private personal bet between you doesn't even factor into the equation..."
"How can you say that?" Ranma-chan said sullenly before glancing down at the sidewalk sullenly and saying, "I...I won't let him do that either, Nabiki. It ain't just a matter of pride or honor...no way am I gonna let you lower yourself into giving that bastard what he wants."
"Excuse me?" Nabiki arched an eyebrow, "You won't let me do what?"
"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" Ranma-chan said, her blue eyes flashing furiously, "Or do you LIKE the idea of letting him kiss you? Hey, maybe he's more your type than me..."
"I don't want to kiss Senzenen, Ranma," Nabiki said calmly, "And I have no intention of letting him have his way with me...but if we lose the day after tomorrow, then it's another story. I never promise anything that I'm not ready to deliver, and I don't go back on a deal, so if it comes down to that..."
"You'd...let him do it?" the anger fell away from Ranma's eyes, to be replaced by shock and confusion.
"As you are so fond of reminding me," Nabiki replied, "It's all about honor, and in my profession there's a code that gamblers have to concede that if they lose a bet they've got to own up to their marker. To tell you the truth, the idea of kissing Senzenen has absolutely no appeal to me whatsoever...I'd just as soon kiss Kuno, or you for that matter."
"Hah, that'll be the day," Ranma grumbled.
Nabiki arched an eyebrow as she asked, "Excuse me?"
"The day when you'd willingly kiss me," Ranma-chan glowered, "Or have you forgotten that I'm a girl now, Baka?"
His iinazuke actually blinked at this, then Nabiki said aloud, "Oh yeah...I was meaning to ask you...why are you are girl right now anyway?"
"Gee, I was hoping that somebody would get around to asking that sooner or later," another feminine voice besides Ranma responded, "Or does your fianc normally cross-dress because he likes to make a scene in drag?"
"Huh?" Ranma and Nabiki turned around to see Kensuke and Aido standing there with matching sardonic expressions.
"Yes, exactly how is it that you manage to look so feminine anyway, Saotome?" Kensuke asked, "Can't be make-up because I can tell that you're not wearing any..."
"Ah..." Ranma-chan started rubbing the back of her head while looking sheepish, "It's...kind of a long story..."
"Would you believe it's magic?" Nabiki responded for him.
"Magic?" Aido cocked an eyebrow, "No fooling?"
"And just when were you going to let us in on this little secret you've been hiding from us, Saotome?" Kensuke wondered.
"Right about the time when hell froze over," Ranma-chan sighed, "All right...guess maybe I do kinda owe you guys an explanation..."
Kensuke lifted a finger and said, "And I'm dying to hear all about it, but before you go into any details, there's something else that we think you should see."
"It concerns your opponents," Aido added, "The Golden Pair are training on the ice rink right now, and we really think you ought to come back and see this."
"Training huh?" Nabiki mused, "Well, I suppose it might not hurt to have a look at what the competition is up to."
"Believe us," Kensuke said seriously, "It's vitally important that you both to into this with open eyes, which is more than what Aido and me had when we faced them in our own match. If you want to avoid the sort of trouble that happened to us..."
"Right," Ranma-chan nodded, "Let's see what moves the playboy and the ditz use, it oughta be worth a few good laughs..."
Five minutes later she was not laughing. Instead she stared in dismay as she saw Senzenen working out against an entire hockey team, using skating maneuvers that were nothing short of mortal combat.
"I don't believe it," Nabiki sounded no less appalled, "He took them all down...and in less than ten seconds?"
"Believe," Aido assured them, "It's moves like these which have made the Golden Pair unstoppable in nearly all of their matches, and that's what you'll be up against when you face them the day after tomorrow."
"Humph," Ranma-chan frowned, "Got some pretty slick moves there, but nothing I can't handle."
"You're joking," Kensuke sniffed, "A few days ago you could barely even stand up on ice, let alone fight with skates on, and now you think you're ready to take on the premier skating champions of the world?"
"Yeah, and you haven't even seen their Couple Cleaver or their ultimate technique, the Goodbye Whirl," Aido further noted, "They've got lots of special moves based on breaking up the team-work of any couple they go up against..."
"Well then," Nabiki said confidently, "We have an advantage since Ranma and me are not really a couple."
"Ahuh," Kensuke and his sister said together, exchanging dubious glances.
"Got any pointers on how to beat those two, Coach?" Ranma-chan asked seriously, "Any weaknesses in their techniques?"
"If you find any, be sure and let us know," Kensuke answered, "Because you'd be the first ones who didn't think they were unstoppable when those two work together."
"Well, it's not absolutely certain that we can't devise a counter in two days based on our observations," Nabiki said as she reached for her ever-handy ledger and opened it up to a fresh page, jotting down notes as she continued, "For example...we know that Senzenen is hopelessly infatuated with himself and can easily be distracted by anything female that gets within his radar, while his frilly haired dingbat of a partner-HEY!"
"Michelle, Michelle!" a delighted Azusa cried as she snatched both ledger and pen out of the hands of an unprepared Nabiki, running off towards the Ice with a happy, "I knew I'd find you if I followed the bad lady!"
"Why that-COME BACK HERE, YOU!" Ranma-chan called out as she gave chase onto the ice, only to land squarely in the middle of the rink and discover the hard way what that meant without skates on, "WHOOOOOAAAAHHH!"
Azusa blinked in a kawaii sort of way and watched the redheaded girl shoot off down the ice as though the latter's feet had been greased, and only Ranma's superb sense of balance kept her from landing flat on her back as she headed for the distant restraining wall.
Nabiki unconsciously winced and was about to look away when she caught sight of a blurred streak heading to intercept her sex-challenged iinazuke, and all at once Senzenen was there in time to catch the desperate Ranma-chan with a gallantry that could have been rehearsed for the stage. For a moment he stood there while Ranma hung in a swoon, her back angled above the ice in a very awkward position (and vulnerable) position.
"Are you all right now, Miss?" the handsome skater inquired.
"Ah..." Ranma-chan was staring up at the boy from a bent-over angle and could not think of anything more rational to say than, "...Yeah...I guess..."
"Good," Senzenen smiled, "Then perhaps it is time that I took my reward as your rescuer."
"Reward?" Ranma-chan blinked, "But-WAIT-I-MMMMPPPHH!"
Nabiki gripped the railing that she was leaning against and just stared at the tableau being played out before her. Aido and Kensuke were similarly dumbstruck at the sight of Mikado giving the redhead a kiss that would have been hot and steamy for any regular girl who had heterosexual inclinations. The kiss went on for half a minute, then Mikado straightened up again and set the redhead on her feet as gently as he could manage. Ranma-chan just stood there with a totally dumbfounded expression, staring straight ahead in shock as if unable to comprehend what had just happened.
"Ah...I am so heartless," Mikado sighed, "Forgive me for taking such liberties with you, Miss...and know that you are the nine-hundred-and-ninety-ninth fair damsel upon whom I have bestowed such a great honor."
"Ranma-kun," Nabiki faintly murmured, then held her breath and waited to see if there would be a reaction.
There was but mere seconds later as Ranma-chan blinked her eyes and turned to look towards Mikado, who smiled back at her and said pleasantly, "Of course I can tell that you are one whose lips have never before been graced by such a kiss, which is puzzling as you are a very compelling vision of loveliness..."
He got no further than this before Ranma-chan's fist came slamming forward to connect with his jaw and sent the skater flying. Senzenen shot back to the far end of the court, whereupon he impacted with force enough to shatter the protective plastic barrier. Then Ranma-chan turned around and started running on the ice to the far exit, going right past an astonished Azusa as she made a bee-line towards the nearest restrooms.
"Whoah," Kensuke remarked, "That was a good one, nailed Senzenen cold."
"What the heck just happened?" Aido turned to Nabiki and said, "Was she crying just now?"
Nabiki closed her mouth and coughed to clear herself, then said, "You'd cry too if you knew the full story. The short version has to do with these cursed springs that are said to exist in China, and if you fall into one of those you take on the form of the last thing that drowned there."
"A magic spring?" Kensuke asked, "Are you kidding?"
Nabiki shook her head, "I wish, but every time Ranma-kun gets wet he changes...cold water turns him into a girl, hot water turns him back, and...excuse me...I'd better go find the baka and try to calm him down before he does something really stupid."
"Too late for that," Aido said as she nodded to the restrooms, from which emerged a very angry MALE version of Ranma, "I think your boyfriend's on the warpath."
Nabiki was sufficiently distracted by the sight of her iinazuke that she did not bother to correct the "boyfriend" comment. In truth she had never seen this side of Ranma before in all the time she had so far spent with him, not gazed upon the pure, livid rage that filled his handsome expression with disgust, outrage and sheer self-loathing.
"SENZENEN!" he cried, startling everyone within the sporting arena.
Mikado had just managed to shake off the effects of his rather rude impact against the restraining barrier and grunted, "What is it? Some new fool challenge...?"
Ranma did not bother to notice Nabiki frantically waving for his attention, nor did he seem inclined to pause to put on skates as he leaped onto the ice once again, this time bracing himself better so that his landing did not send him skidding.
"Now you've done it...you're really, finally done it!" Ranma snarled, "I was irked with you before, but now-for the first time ever-I'm really, really ANGRY!"
"And what possible quarrel could you have with me to bring this off, pray tell?" Mikado asked as if oblivious to the murderous intent evident in the other boy's expression.
"You just kissed his sister, in front of everybody!" Nabiki managed to say as she called out from the sidelines, "And if I were you, I'd start running!"
"Sister?" Mikado blinked, then turned with scorn towards his antagonist, "That rare flower of womanly beauty is your sister?"
"Yeah," Ranma grunted, having just enough presence of mind to take up Nabiki's clue and not spill the beans about his condition, "My sister...and you KISSED HER, you MOTHERLESS-!"
"Now, now," Senzenen replied, "I had no way of knowing that she was related to you, which is such a perverse crime of the fates considering what a boorish dolt you are, to say nothing of lacking in any trace of gentlemanly breeding, or anything else redeemable..."
Ranma's fist impacted with the ice directly below him, delivered with smooth efficiency that put to shame Akane's regular efforts with cinderblocks, causing large cracks to form in the ice all around them.
"You think this is funny, guy?" he snarled, "You think you can just do whatever you want and not have to pay for it?"
Senzenen glanced down at the cracked ice, then at his opponent, and with much disdain said, "Now that was uncalled for. I can't stand it when someone destroys public property so blithely. For this...you must be punished."
"Bring it on, Pretty-boy," Ranma declared, falling into a fighting crouch, "Let's see what you really got."
"It seems that you cannot wait for our match to meet your untimely end," Senzenen reflected, "But since you asked so rudely, I must reluctantly accommodate your wishes."
"Ranma-kun," Nabiki faintly murmured.
"This is bad," Kensuke agreed.
"Saotome hasn't got any idea what he's up against," Aido concluded, "This is not gonna be pretty..."
And indeed, one moment later, Ranma launched his first attack, going from a standing start into a full dragon kick aimed directly at Mikado, who merely moved to one side and allowed his opponent to sail past without interruption. Ranma's landing was somewhat less than graceful as he misjudged his traction on the ice and went sliding back into the nearest wall section with a loud crashing noise that sounded and looked incredibly painful, to say nothing of the indignity of his resulting position.
"Idiot," Mikado remarked, "Only a fool launches a suicidal attack at the beginning of an encounter..."
To his surprise (and that of everyone else) Ranma recovered almost immediately and came at Mikado again, this time employing his hands and maintaining as firm a stance on the ice as he could manage. With his footing uncertain, however, his aim was less than sterling and Mikado had no trouble avoiding his attacks, backing away out of reach and giving his foe the wary respect of one who had discovered that there was more to his assailant than he had at first imagined.
"You have tenacity, I will give you that," Mikado conceded, "You force me to resort to drastic measures since it is plain that you will not be deterred by lesser efforts."
"Shut up and fight!" Ranma snarled as he kept trying to nail his elusive proponent.
"Very well," Mikado skated back out of reach and raised his arms at his side, "You have asked for this, fool. Behold...the Dance of Death!"
"Oh no," Kensuke murmured, "He's using the Dance this early?"
"Too bad for Saotome," Aido winced, "It was nice knowing him..."
Nabiki was about to ask them what they were talking about when Mikado began to all at once start spinning like a top, pirouetting on one leg as he gained momentum and started to twirl at greater and greater speed. Ranma tried to rush him but found his way blocked by some sort of invisible force, and then he was lifted from the ice altogether, held aloft in the spiraling vortex above Mikado's head, tumbling like a leaf in a mini-tornado while everyone else looked on in awe at Senzenen's achievement.
But then Nabiki sensed something a bit off about the vortex, and it started to slow down while she heard Kensuke say, "Whoah...take a look at that!"
"I see it but I don't believe it," Aido agreed, "Looks like your boyfriend's got a bit more on the ball than we thought, Tendo-san."
"Huh?" Nabiki asked even as Ranma fell to the floor of the ice and Mikado came to a complete halt in his spinning.
"I count five hundred, that sound about right to you, Sis?" Kensuke asked.
"Five hundred and three," Aido replied, "And those weren't love taps either."
"What are you two talking about?" Nabiki asked as she gingerly set foot upon the ice, then carefully waded out over the cracked and damaged rink to where Ranma lay prone upon his back.
"Just that Saotome won the fight," Kensuke mused as he joined her, balancing more easily upon the ice as his shoes had better traction, "Best upset I've ever seen."
"There may be hope for him after all," Aido mused, having adopted a pair of ice skates since she was not about to take the chance of slipping, coming to stand before Mikado to confirm her suspicions, "Yep, he's out of it all right...petrified from muscle tension, but other than that, totally unconscious."
Azusa skated up and satisfied herself that her partner was indeed on a mental vacation, "Miki-chan? He's not there..."
"The lights are on but nobody's in residence," Aido smirked, then made her move before the frilly haired girl could react and plucked Nabiki's ledger from her hands, passing it along with a, "Catch!"
Nabiki saw and snatched her ledger out of the air as it sailed by her head, then she turned back to the boy over whom she was crouching and said, "Ranma-
kun...are you still with us?"
"Gnah...no problem," he groaned, "Jus' gimme a minute, I'll be fine..."
"Hey!" Azusa cried, "Give me back Michelle! Michelle! Michelle!"
The Skater tried to force Nabiki to give back the requested item, but the middle Tendo girl's temper had been frayed beyond even her formidable tolerance levels, and without pausing to reflect on what she was doing she rounded on the girl and slapped her...hard, causing Azusa to stagger away with a hurt and shocked expression.
"Shut up!" Nabiki snapped, "I've had just about enough out of you! This is all your fault, you bubble-headed little Twit! Because of you and your stupid habits, Ranma-kun and your partner both got hurt...!"
"Why are you picking on poor little Azusa?" the girl in question asked, eyes tearing up as she took a wounded (if very kawaii) pose and tried to effect a pose of total innocence, "What has Azusa ever done to you...?"
"Gee, I wonder," Nabiki glared, not buying the other girl's act.
"Nabiki," Ranma's voice surprised her, and she turned to see him prying himself off of the ice, "Let it go. We did enough for now...save the rest for the match...she ain't worth it."
"You okay, Saotome?" Aido asked.
"Heh...never better," he winced, refusing the hand that Kensuke offered as he managed to stand unsteadily with legs spread shoulder-width apart.
Nabiki decided that she had witnessed enough Testosterone in play for one evening and went to his side, ignoring his protests as she offered him her shoulder, "Come on, Ranma-kun, we're going home. I think we've both had enough excitement for one day."
"Heh...may be right about that," Ranma agreed, "S'okay...I can walk by myself..."
"This isn't for you, Dummy," Nabiki insisted, "If I let you go I could be in real trouble."
Kensuke and Aido watched the couple limp off the ice then exchanged curious looks with one another, the former saying, "Those two are definitely a weird couple..."
"Almost made for either other," Aido smiled, "Still want to hear the full story about that curse thing. Oh well...since Mikado's out of it, guess that means only one thing."
"And that is?" Kensuke asked of his mischievous sibling.
"Magic Markers!" Aido cried with glee as she produced same from seeming nowhere.
Kensuke blinked, then smiled as he turned a wicked look at the motionless Mikado.
"Oooh!" Azusa brightened, "Azusa wants one too!"
"Me too!" cried one of the Hockey players who had been standing along the sidelines, to be chorused by the rest of his teammates, and before too long they were all doodling on the face and body of the unresisting Senzenen, who would recover sometime later less than amused at being "Tagged" for the amusement of those who had taken advantage of his momentary incapacitation...
Continued.
Comments/Criticisms/Refund Hooey: shadowmane
Just as Ranma and Nabiki thought it was safe to go back out on the ice, guess who's coming to dinner to make a large impression? Be with us next time for: "The Iceman Cometh!" or "Wrongway Hibiki!" Be there!
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