Wounds of the Heart
A/N: You guys! Thank you so much for the reviews! I can't tell you just how much I appreciate them and how much inspiration they gave me. I'm sorry about the wait for this chapter, I really struggled with it- and also my uni dissertation is due on Wednesday so the last few weeks I've had little time for writing this story, which sucks 'cause I'm having so much fun with it.
Anyway, please continue to let me know your thoughts, and thanks again for the reviews, they really do make me smile. I hope you like this chapter, and don't hate me too much with how it ends :P
Elphaba slumped to the floor at the bottom of the long staircase; she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her dress and hissed at the burning sensation that seemed to course through her body. She couldn't help but remember the last time Glinda had helped her heal her burning tears, just before they had left to meet the Wizard for the first time...things seemed to be so much simpler then.
"Elphie, what's wrong?"
Galinda had skipped in to the room in a delightfully good mood, she'd just been to the History office where she'd received a good grade for an assignment and she knew this was down to Elphaba assisting her with the reading. She was ready to celebrate with her roommate but saw now that Elphaba was sitting on her bed trying not to cry.
Elphaba sniffed once and shook her head, "I'm fine, Galinda. Did you get your essay back? How did you do?"
Galinda ran over and sat next to her green roommate, "That doesn't matter, it's just homework!" This got a half smile, as Galinda was hoping it would. "Now tell me what's the matter?"
Elphaba nodded wordlessly and handed over the letter she'd just received.
'Elphaba,
I bid you to refrain from irritating me with your Shizian exploits. The Unnamed God, in all His glorious wisdom, has given me great work to complete and I have no time to converse with you.
Tell Nessarose that I love her and pray the Great Spirit is with her always.
Father.'
Galinda's face wrinkled in disgust, "Your Father sent you this?"
Elphaba nodded and a lone tear trickled down her face, leaving a red burn in its trail.
"Oh, Elphie! Don't cry, you'll only hurt yourself!" Galinda quickly ran to the bathroom to collect a washcloth and a bottle of oil. Gently, carefully, she wiped the tear away and dabbed some oil in its place. "You listen to me, Elphaba Thropp. Your Father is completely stupidifying, if he can't see what a wonderful girl you are then it's his own loss. Are you listening, Miss Elphaba?"
Elphaba shook her head, "But..." She trailed off at the firm look on Galinda's face.
"No, Elphie. I'm being serious," Galinda wiped again at the red mark. "You need not pay his words any attention because he's wrong." Galinda flipped her hair and smiled. "I am Galinda Upland of the Upper Uplands and I am always right."
Now Elphaba gave a genuine smile, "What about when you were trying to clean your shoes last week and the spell you used accidently turned them orange?"
Galinda pretended to think for a moment, "It was meant to be," She said with a grin, "I have the perfect dress that will match that colour."
And Elphaba laughed.
"Now come on," She got up from the bed and pulled her green friend by the hand.
"Where are we going?"
"Out!" Galinda cried happily, "I'm not letting you stay here and brood over that...over that, horrible man! Thanks to my smartifying roommate I received a 75 on my essay so I am taking her out for tea, it'll be fun!"
And before Elphaba could protest, Galinda dragged her through the door, both girls laughing, Elphaba's tears forgotten.
Elphaba sighed at the memory, she got up slowly, walked to her bag lying on the ground and pulled out a bottle of oil, dabbing some onto her raw cheeks and aching face. She didn't need a mirror to tell her that she was burned, but knew from previous experiences that as long as her tears stains were treated, she'd be left with no scars.
On the inside however, well that was a different story. Elphaba was struck by what she could only describe as agonising disbelief, the things Glinda had said...those words would scar Elphaba far more than any drop of water ever could. She just couldn't understand how she could inspire so much hatred from the tiny blonde. Even though she'd expected anger, she had also expected some form of happiness that she was alive, something to show that Glinda had missed her. Elphaba's heart clenched at the idea that she could have felt so much for the blonde without those feelings being returned, even in the smallest amount.
What was she supposed to do now? Go back to the empty farm? Try to find Fiyero? No, that wasn't an option anymore, even if it was she wouldn't want to be with the scarecrow again, he had changed, and in more than just his physical appearance. She no longer loved him, and part of her wondered if she ever really had...another part of her, one she'd tried so hard to ignore since that first fateful trip to the Emerald City, wondered if the love she felt for him was trying to replace the love she had for another...for Glinda.
Elphaba shook her head; it was useless thinking these pointless thoughts. Glinda had made it perfectly clear how she felt and now Elphaba was lost once again and needed a new direction. But where would that lead? Nessa was gone; she and Fiyero had finished long ago and Glinda...Glinda wanting nothing to do with her. What was she to do now?
Elphaba grasped her small bag and picked up her broomstick, she stared down at it glumly, trying to decide where to fly to, when a thought struck her. Something that Glinda had said.
"I know what you are and what you want and I'll do it, but I don't want the last thing I see to be your monstrous face!"
There was something about this that didn't add up, yes hearing the last phrase had been like a knife to the heart, but that wasn't what Elphaba was focussing on. I know what you are...I know what you want...something didn't make sense and Elphaba felt a new rush of determination flood through her. If Glinda hated her...so be it, but she couldn't leave the blonde witch until she heard the full story, Elphaba owed it to herself to hear the truth, no matter how much it pained her to do so.
Glinda stared down at the book in front of her. Somehow it didn't seem right to destroy it, after all it was the last thing that Elphaba gave her, but she knew she couldn't leave it out in the open; it was far too dangerous. No matter how little she actually cared about the future, she knew that Elphaba would want her to ensure its safety, and therefore its secrecy. She ran her hands over its covers, such a small innocuous thing, yet Glinda knew the Grimmerie held great, and therefore terrifying, power. In the years that had passed since she'd received the book, Glinda had spent a good deal of time studying the spells and to her great surprise; she'd been able to read some of the mysterious writings it held.
It was strange though, it only seemed to be spells she required at the time, as if the book knew exactly what she needed. Glinda opened the book to a well used page and muttered a few words under her breath, reversing the glamour she'd employed so effectively over the past two years. Immediately she felt her dress loosen even more as her true drawn shape came into view, she knew that if she looked into a mirror her that her unhealthy state would be plain to see. Not that it mattered anymore.
Idly, Glinda flicked through the pages, not entirely sure what she was looking for and still short of an idea as to how she could deal with the book. And then, she found it, the perfect spell and one she was certain she had never seen before. She whispered out the words at the top of the page.
"Hide from the unworthy."
She scanned down and almost smiled as she read the enchantment in front of her; it was exactly what she needed. She turned back towards the cupboard- noting that although the front was heavily splintered- it was still intact and would be the perfect resting place for the Grimmerie. Not to mention Glinda felt it somewhat fitting that where she had lost herself, the right person may find their power.
Glinda placed the book gently in the dark cupboard and read aloud for what she knew would be her last spell. There was a flash of light, and, much to her surprise the Grimmerie did not change. Glinda glared at the book and opened it up to the correct spell again; its words seemed to taunt her.
'The worthy will see, the worthless will not.'
"I'm not," She gritted out, "I'm not worthy." Her words had no effect and the book stayed as it was. Glinda sighed, shut the cover and closed the cupboard door.
There was no way to debate with a book, she could only pray that the spell worked and the Grimmerie would be hidden from those who would misuse its powers.
Glinda walked over to her bag which was empty, except for a dress, a dress folded up tight to hide the object within it, she pulled it free and saw it glitter in the moonlight.
A knife.
Glinda had debated long and hard as to what method she should use to end her life. Her first thought had been a spell, though try as she might she found the Grimmerie completely unhelpful in that regard. And one day when she was meeting Ozians in the marketplace, she heard the tale of an elderly man, who had been made a widower after 50 years of marriage. This man had lasted 6 months on his own before he decided to end his suffering and had used a knife to do so. Glinda was told this story by the sorrowful friends and family he'd left behind, they spoke of their sadness and grief at what they described as a 'terrible, thoughtless action'. However Glinda could understand his decision perfectly, she felt like a grieving widow and, just like that man, was tired of carrying on each day without the one person she needed.
And the knife in front of her would finally rid of her pain.
She stood up and took off her dress, standing in just a slip; she shivered as the cold night air brushed her skin. She picked up the knife, and as the sharp tip touched her breast, she shivered again, though this time it wasn't the cold.
With the blade in position she looked out the window and saw the moon, it was full and bright. She sighed once more and spoke what she believed would be her final words.
"I'm sorry, Elphie, I shall be with you soon."
Please review and let me know your thoughts- the good, the bad, and the ugly :)
Also just wanted to say a particular thank you to musicalvampirelove and CarolTeixeiraC who win the award for making me laugh the most with their reviews!
