CROSSING THE LINE - Chapter 7: A path diverged…
DISCLAIMER: Of the many things that are mine to possess, Rurouni Kenshin and his companions are not among them.
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Dark crimson spread across the shiny silver surface. Tiny liquid veins diverged from the bulk of the moving mass, and dripped from the sharpened edge of the blade. Kenshin watched, unmoving, until the substance made its way to his fingers, which still tightly held the hilt of his sword.
The sudden sensation of warm blood on his hand brought him back to the reality of the situation. He pulled the sakabato from the man's chest, and watched as the body fell backwards to the ground with a thud.
The sakabato tumbled to the earth. Kenshin didn't even notice he had released his grip. His eyes were drawn to the still open eyes of the convict. Those dark angry eyes that had so recently been full of energy and vigor were now vacantly staring up at him.
His thin lips were upturned into an eerie smile. In death, he didn't look so much at peace as he looked pleased with himself. It was as though he was saying he had won in the end with that evil leer and twisted smirk.
Kenshin had seen death before. He had caused it too many times to count. Blood and corpses were nothing new to him, and yet he could feel his skin grow cold. His senses dulled, and his vision darkened. Dropping to his knees, he could feel bile violently rise within him.
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Sano observed the young woman carrying laundry. She had been acting distracted since the food fight earlier. He had brought the water back to the kitchen expecting her to be there, but she had not been.
He went to the closet where the supplies were kept, but she was nowhere to be seen. Then he saw her stepping out of her room. She had looked so withdrawn, but when she noticed him standing there she flashed a smile.
'She's hiding something.'
His thoughts were pulled back to the present as he watched Yahiko run up to her.
"I thought this was a dojo, when am I going to practice kendo!?" an impatient Yahiko asked Kaoru.
Kaoru peeked over at Yahiko from behind a large basket piled high with clothing. "When you stop complaining, and start helping so that these chores get done."
"I'm not slave labor, you know," he pouted.
"If even Sano can help, then I would think you could too." She chided him as she set the basket down next to the laundry tub.
Sano began to object when he realized he had just been volunteered for more cleaning duty, but the pleading look that Kaoru shot him overruled his better judgment. "Uh, yeah kid, so you better get to work," he said to Yahiko.
Sano ignored the obligatory "I'm not a kid" statement from Yahiko, and turned toward Kaoru. She was still sporting her best innocent look, so he still couldn't bring himself to talk his way out of cleaning. "OK, but no laundry," he finally said.
'How did I get roped into this? I already spent most of the morning cleaning out the kitchen!' She smiled and handed him a brush for cleaning the dojo floor. Her fingers brushed his in the exchange, sending a jolt of sensation through his arm. 'On second thought, she could use the help, and it isn't like I have anything better to be doing.'
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Kenshin wasn't sure how much time had passed.
Once his senses came back to him, he had begun fervently working on a temporary burial for the man whose piercing eyes still haunted him. He had scratched at the ground using nearby branches and rocks, but was making no progress. Instead his hands were quickly becoming blistered and bloodied.
He looked at the sakabato lying where he had let it fall after the convict impaled himself. The blood had darkened to a sickly color, and hardened on the blade.
When his pale hands retrieved it, he felt almost repelled by the weapon. Its weight seemed heavier than it had in the past. And the feel of the leather-wrapped hilt against his skin made his flesh crawl.
Finally steadying himself, he managed to modify one of his Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu maneuvers to create a deep chasm in the hardened earth. He then carefully picked up the now cold body, and placed it inside.
The ghostly smile still clung to the dead man's lips as Kenshin began to coat the body with the displaced sediment. Once he had finished he wasted no time leaving the area. He traveled at a surprisingly quick pace given the heavy emotional burden he was carrying.
His long bangs covered his empty expression. His battle worn, tattered clothing flowed over his slim frame in the breeze, and his sakabato hung limply at his side.
He had considered leaving it behind, but something the convict had said stopped him. He couldn't escape who he was. Kenshin knew the blood didn't just stain the sword, or his hands, or the borrowed blue robes he wore. The sword was just a tool. It couldn't be held responsible for killing.
This stain was embedded in him, and not from this one death. No matter how many lives he saved it would never be cleansed. It would never be erased, because it was a part of who he had become.
'I know I did not kill that man. He thrust himself upon my blade. It was not the first time I've watched an opponent kill himself following a fight.' Memories of his duel with Jin-e flooded his mind. He unconsciously rubbed away the dried blood that was still clinging to his hands.
'No, his words are what's truly bothering me. Without realizing it, I've been trying to find some kind of quantifiable solution to a problem that cannot be reasoned. No matter what I do I can never change the past. I can't resurrect what I've taken. If I could Tomoe would still be alive.
'But if she did still live I would never have met Kaoru. Do such thoughts betray Tomoe's memory?' His already sad disposition became even more melancholy. His hands were still working to remove the dried blood that he had already flaked off, and were now becoming raw from the friction.
'I cannot clear my conscious with good deeds--this is clear now. I must deal with the guilt itself if I am ever to be free, but when nightmares still plague me after ten years, what chance do I have? Perhaps he knew this, and that is why he was laughing in the end.'
His nimble feet continued carrying him to the Kamiya dojo. He both dreaded and longed to return to his friends--to Kaoru.
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'Yahiko, clean the dojo floors! Yahiko, organize the weapons! Yahiko, hang the laundry out to dry! Yahiko, go to town, and buy food!' The young swordsman in training thought disdainfully as he approached town. 'What ever happened to, Yahiko, get ready for practice?'
He kicked at a rock, which had been unwisely resting in his path. It made a satisfying noise as it smacked into a nearby wall.
"Does the Kamiya Kasshin style call for attacking inanimate objects, or was that your own move?" Megumi asked dryly.
"Where did you come from?" Yahiko asked with surprise.
"You do realize you are standing in front of the clinic, don't you?"
Yahiko tried to hide his embarrassment at his actions and statement. "Of course, I did. I was just surprised you were milling about outside instead of with a patient."
Megumi decided to let his jab pass because he was obviously in turmoil over something. "What brings you to town alone--going to see Tsubame?" She asked the last part, knowing it would not be the case given his disposition, but hoping to draw the real reason out.
"Bah! Buso and the rooster have me running their errands for them now."
'Kaoru and Sanosuke's errands?' The thought gave her a chill.
"You mean the errands for the dojo," she tried to correct.
"Whatever, all I know is now that Kenshin is gone I've gotten almost no sword training done! And you'd think since that baka rooster-head is ALWAYS hanging around now that he could do a little more."
"I see." Her normally sharp wit and attitude seemed to retreat as she lowered her eyes.
"Megumi?" Yahiko noticed the change in her, and became concerned.
"It's all right, Yahiko."
Yahiko decided to change his approach to the subject. "He really is a baka, you know. It's probably all those bandages he is always wearing. They are cutting off the supply of oxygen to his brain."
She smiled knowingly, "thank you, Yahiko. Have you had dinner yet?"
"No, I was picking up food so there was something to eat tonight."
"Well, Kaoru would still be the one cooking, and I have plenty, so you are welcome to stay."
"If I don't return then what are they going to do for dinner?" Yahiko asked with a sly grin, remembering the array of food Kaoru had attempted to put together into some kind of breakfast.
She just smiled wickedly and said, "not our problem."
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"I can't believe that little rat hasn't come back yet!" Sano said angrily as his stomach rumbled.
"I think he is upset that I haven't been training with him much for the last couple of days." Kaoru said thoughtfully.
"Is that any reason for us to starve to death?!" Sano exclaimed.
Kaoru smiled at his hysterics, "Don't be so dramatic. We had a big breakfast."
"Yeah, and then we ate the leftovers for lunch, and there's nothing else left!"
Kaoru only giggled at the frantic man.
"I don't see what is so funny about this," he responded dryly.
"You realize, we'd still have something to eat if you hadn't started a food fight this morning."
"Me!?"
"I certainly wasn't the one who tossed the first ball of rice." She brought a hand to the cheek that had been assaulted earlier.
He smiled sheepishly, "yeah, I got you good with that one."
Kaoru steeled herself against the impulse to attack him with her bokken. "OK, lets try to get through one conversation without acting like children."
"OK, but just one." Sano smirked, and went to the kitchen.
Kaoru followed, and once again gathered all the remaining food. They both stared at the assortment with trepidation. Before long the pair had prepared an even more foreboding meal.
They sat down, and simultaneously took a bite. Looking at each other, they each struggled to present a smile for the other, but disgust was evident on both faces. The contorted gesture was quite comical, and once again the duo was overcome with laughter.
"Hahahaha, well, we tried to be adult about it. Now what?" Sano asked, trying to slow his breathing.
"Oh! I know! Yahiko always has a stash of candy in his room!" Kaoru's eyes gleamed brightly.
"You want to steal candy from a child?" Sano asked suspiciously.
Kaoru nodded enthusiastically, and he found himself laughing even harder.
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One sugar induced coma later, the two were lying on the porch looking up at the stars.
"That was the best meal ever." Kaoru sighed happily.
"I know. That is the eleventh time you've said so."
"Think Yahiko will be mad?" she asked.
"He's the one who drove us to it."
"Heh! I guess you're right. This is nice," she said airily.
Sano's breath caught at her words, wondering what she meant.
Kaoru continued. "I've always liked the stars. Dad and I used to come out here, and he would point to them, and make up stories about how they got there." Sano's head turned toward her. He saw she was still staring into the heavens, totally caught up in the memory.
"See that bright one that is all by itself? He called that one The Warrior. He said its power burned so brightly that the other stars were afraid of it." Her eyes glistened as she retold the story. "I always felt so sorry for him because he was all alone. Sometimes I'd come out on my own when they thought I was asleep, and I'd stare up at The Warrior, and talk to him so that he wouldn't be lonely."
She tilted her head toward Sano, who was still watching her. "It's silly," she said quietly.
"No, it's sweet. You always worry about everyone else."
"You don't have to say that," she said dismissively.
Sano's brow crinkled as he examined her innocent face. "You really can't see it can you?"
"See what?" she asked, confused.
"The way you take care of everyone here." Kaoru let out a short laugh. "No, I'm serious. A legendary former Hitokiri, an aspiring samurai orphan, a doctor with a scandalous past, and a dashing former fighter-for-hire--what could possibly keep such an unlikely group together?"
She waited for him to answer his own rhetorical question. "You, Jou-chan. You don't just take care of us, you care about us." He captured her hand in his, and squeezed gently to reinforce the sentiment behind his words.
She was very aware of her hand in his, and she could feel a blush spreading over her cheeks. "You exaggerate," she finally said.
"Only when I'm describing my past battles." He shot her his most winning smile, and as he had hoped, it was infectious. "Never about you," he added with another squeeze to the hand.
He rolled his head back toward the night sky. "I've never seen you look at the stars before."
"I haven't for a long time. It hurt too much to be out here knowing Dad wasn't asleep inside." She could feel his thumb running along the side of her hand comfortingly.
"What changed?" he asked softly.
"You're here," she replied simply.
"Jou-chan, I have something I've been meaning to give you." He sat up, and reluctantly let go of her hand. She followed his lead, puzzled as to what he would be giving her. Sano withdrew a rolled canvas from his pocket.
"You've been really good to me, and I know things have been hard for you lately, and I haven't always made that better." She opened her mouth to protest, but he put up his hand. "Please, you know it is true.
"Anyway, I noticed there was a place that you go to a lot, so I figured you might like a painting of it. So I asked Katsu if he could make one. He owed me a favor, so you don't have to worry about me not paying for it or anything," he rambled nervously.
'A place I go a lot? Does he mean the dojo? Why wouldn't he just say that?' She let him continue at his own pace without trying to ask any questions or interject.
"Well, knowing how much you like the stars too, it just seemed to make more sense, because they kind of look like stars in a way."
Kaoru's eyes narrowed as she tried to discern his words. 'What would look like stars?'
"Heh, I guess I have you kind of confused. I should just give it to you. Here you go." And with that he handed her the canvas.
Despite the awkward presentation, she was very excited about the gift. She had rarely received anything, even for her birthday since she had lost her parents. And somehow, a gesture like this coming from Sano was even more special, though she was actively trying to deny that feeling.
But as she let the painting unfurl, her excitement fled. There, in masterfully painted brush strokes, was the most beautiful rendering of fireflies in a sakura grove she had ever seen.
Once again, she was presented with a painful reminder of past loss, and of the man who was absent. The same man she had been thinking about less and less as her thoughts of Sano increased.
Sano's smile faded as he watched her eyes become glassy, and her hands tremble. 'No, what have I done now?'
"Jou-chan?"
"I'm sorry Sano. I-I can't!" She jumped to her feet, and turned to flee to her room, but strong hands held her still.
"No, please, tell me what's wrong. Don't run away from me." He wasn't sure what he was doing, but he desperately wanted her to stay--to confide in him whatever it was that was causing her so much pain.
"Just let me go!" She yelled, and pounded his chest with her small fists.
"Not until you tell me why it made you cry." He said in gentle tones as he pulled her closer.
"I can't!"
"Why?"
"Because I don't know what's wrong with me! I thought I loved him, but now he has left again, and you're here confusing me by being nice, and funny, and infuriating, and beautiful, and gentle, and tall, and…and."
Her knees felt too weak to hold herself upright, but his arms were once again encircling her, providing the strength she needed. Every point of contact between them felt alive. Suddenly, she couldn't remember what she had been saying, or even if she was speaking at all. The only things that were real were the two gleaming chocolate orbs staring into her soul.
He leaned in closer, and their eyes closed as their lips met--softly at first, but then the tension that had been building between them was unleashed. Her arms slid up his chest, and hooked themselves around his neck. Their lips pressed harder until she opened her mouth slightly allowing him entrance.
Everything was forgotten--all the pain of loss in her life, all the loneliness and fears of abandonment, all the longing for someone who didn't seem to return her affections. All of these things were gone.
She melted into him. It felt like she had finally found something she didn't even realize she had been missing, and in the most unlikely of places. And somehow, even without words, she could tell Sano felt the same way.
At last they parted for air. Kaoru felt dizzy as though she were waking up from a dream. 'I must be sleeping, nothing real could be this magical.' But then she saw something that made her realize how painfully real it had been.
Standing near the gate, watching the couple, was a defeated looking man with long red hair, stricken violet eyes, and a cross-shaped scar on his cheek.
Sano was still reeling from their kiss, when he noticed the horrified expression on Kaoru's face. He felt his heart shatter, thinking she was reacting to what had passed between them. Then he followed her gaze to the man standing at the gate.
"Kenshin." Sano said as he stared, unbelievingly, at his best friend. The reality of his betrayal was all too potent as he felt Kaoru's shaking body still pressed against his chest.
The spoken name snapped Kaoru into action as she hurriedly pulled away from Sano, and crossed her arms over her body. She felt naked in front of his unblinking violet eyes.
She wanted to speak. She wanted to call out to him--to explain everything, to fix what they had broken, but there were no words. They had betrayed him.
Kenshin said nothing. He broke eye contact with Kaoru, and silently walked through the door, and out of their sight.
Kaoru held her hand over her mouth, and clenched her eyes shut to prevent the flood of tears swelling just under the surface. She felt Sano's hand resting on her shoulder to reassure her, but instead of feeling reassuring it felt wrong and dirty. She was ashamed of herself, and confused by everything she was feeling.
"Go," she hoarsely whispered.
"Jou-chan?" Sano asked in a trembling voice.
"Please, just go." She could feel his eyes on her back, but she couldn't look at him. "Please," she begged again.
She felt him remove his hand, and she flinched at its absence as she had its presence. Too many emotions were crashing in upon her. She fled to her room so she wouldn't see Sano walking away.
Sano remained on the porch a moment longer feeling more alone than he ever had in his solitary life.
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If you like this fic, then please check out my new Inuyasha fic featuring a Kagome/Kouga pairing. The love triangles just keep coming!
Please review! Thanks.
