30 Days of Night
Chapter Seven: The Girl:
"It all started when I moved to a town called Forks in Washington state," I began, my voice barely above a whisper. Stella leaned in closer to better hear me. I couldn't look into her face. That would have been too personal, too intimate. If I was going to tell this story, I had to be detached. I couldn't let myself feel all of the things that I knew I would feel. So I focused my eyes on the dark corner of the attic and continued in as dead a voice as I could. "I hated it there at first," I laughed a little. "It was cloudy and rainy all the time. So different from Phoenix."
"Why did you go there?" Stella asked.
"My mom remarried this guy named Phil," I explained. "He's a minor league baseball player, so he has to travel a lot for games. My mom always stayed with me, but I knew she wanted to go with him. So I volunteered to live with my dad for a while to let her do what she wanted."
"That's very selfless," Stella said quietly.
I shrugged. "Anyway," I continued, "my first day of school was horrible. I hate being the center of attention and everyone seemed to want to talk to me. I was the shiny, new toy," I said, quoting Jessica. "Except for this one boy. Edward." I said his name slowly. "Edward Cullen."
"He's the guy, isn't he?" Stella asked. "The guy who left."
I nodded, not quite trusting my voice at that moment. "Edward and I met on rather bad terms," I said, chuckling a little. "You see, Edward is a vampire. And the first day I met him, he wanted nothing more than to drain me." Stella sucked in a breath at that statement and I finally brought myself to look into her eyes. She looked afraid for me.
"He bit you?" She asked, jumping to conclusions.
"No," I shook my head vehemently. "He would never." I looked down at my hands for a little while. "Edward and his family are different from other vampires."
"His family?" Stella questioned, confused.
"He lives with a group of vampires who all choose to live the same way. None of them eat humans," I explained. "They only drink the blood of animals. They choose to call themselves vegetarians," I said, smiling a little at their inside joke. "Esme and Carlisle claim to be his adoptive parents in the eyes of the human world. And for all intents and purposes, they are his parents. He views them that way. Then there's his brothers, Jasper and Emmett, and his sisters, Alice and Rosalie. We all went to school together." Another wave of sadness broke over me when I thought of Alice, my former best friend. I could almost see her short, spiky, black hair and her beautiful smile.
"I didn't know vampires could do that," Stella said in amazement, "resist drinking human blood. Of course," she added dryly, "until today I didn't actually know vampires existed either."
"It's difficult for them," I said hesitantly. "Carlisle, for example, is very old. And it's not hard for him anymore. He works in a hospital, well he did. He was around blood all the time, and he didn't ever want to drink it. But for others, it's…well, more difficult."
"What do you mean?" Stella asked.
"Jasper was the newest person to join the family," I said. I looked back at the attic wall again. This was the hardest part of the story to tell really. "On my eighteenth birthday, the Cullens threw a party for me. I didn't really want a party…again, not liking the whole center of attention thing. But they insisted. Plus," I added, "I didn't really want them spending any money on me. They're obscenely wealthy."
"What happened?" Stella asked, rightly sensing the dread in my voice and my reluctance to talk about this particular day, one of the worst days of my life.
"I was opening a gift," I continued slowly, struggling to find the words. "And I got a paper cut. It was nothing really. Just a little cut. But some blood came out." I paused. Looking down at my hands, I realized that they were shaking. Stella reached over and clasped them in her own. She smiled at me encouragingly. "Jasper reacted as soon as he smelled it," I sighed, closing my eyes. The whole scene replayed on my eyelids. "He lunged at me. All he could think about was the blood. It's all he wanted. In that moment, I didn't exist anymore. I wasn't Bella, his brother's girlfriend. I was just…a meal."
"But he obviously didn't kill you," Stella stated.
"No," I replied. "Edward stopped him. But that night changed everything. Edward had been able to protect me from the outside world. He didn't like that I was such a danger magnet, but he accepted that the world was dangerous for me, for any human really. He always thought that his being in my life made everything even more dangerous, but I had always been able to talk him out of that. I had always been able to make him see that I was safer with him around. But when his own brother tried to kill me, it just convinced him that I would never be safe with him."
"So he left," Stella concluded.
"He left," I confirmed. "And he didn't just leave. He said things…," I trailed off. I don't want you anymore. That was what I remembered most clearly from that afternoon, the last one in which I ever saw him. "I haven't seen him since. He and his family moved. None of them said goodbye. I thought I meant something to them. I thought I was special," I choked out disdainfully, thinking again of Alice. "But I was wrong."
Stella sat with me in silence for a few moments, still holding my hands, absorbing all of the information I had just given her. "And what about the bite mark?"
"Another vampire named James did that," I said, looking down at the bite. "He was a tracker and hunting was his favorite thing in the world. He couldn't pass up the opportunity to try to hunt a human girl that a group of vampires was trying to protect. Eventually, he was able to lure me away from the Cullens and he bit me."
"So why aren't you a vampire now?" Stella asked.
"Edward sucked the venom out," I said. She looked at me in surprise. "It must have been very difficult for him," I conceded. "Since the first day he met me, he had to fight the urge to want to suck my blood. And then he had the opportunity to. But he stopped. He stopped when he needed to and here I am. I don't know," I said, looking away into nothing. "Sometimes I wish he hadn't stopped. Maybe then I'd still be with him."
"But then you'd be like those things out there," Stella said, malice dripping in her voice.
"I don't think so," I replied. "I would have learned to live like the Cullens."
Stella shook her head. "They're monsters, Bella."
"Those vampires out there," I said, motioning to the world outside, "yeah, they're soulless monsters. But you never met the Cullens. You don't know. They were so…kind. It didn't matter to them that I wasn't one of them. They just accepted and loved me anyway." Except for Rosalie, but I had never gotten the chance to find out why she didn't like me. There's no way someone like Alice, or Esme, or Carlisle, could be evil."
"How did they avoid coming into contact with human blood?" Stella suddenly asked. "I mean, one little drop of blood from a paper cut set this Jasper guy off. How did he go to high school with you and not run into someone bleeding in the hallway? When I was in school, people got into fist fights every day."
It was a good question and I was a little surprised that she had been listening that intently. "They have gifts," I explained. "Well, some of them do. Emmett and Rosalie didn't."
"What were they like?" Stella asked.
"Emmett is just this big teddy bear of a guy. He's a little intimidating when you don't know him because he's so tall and so muscular. But he's just a big goofball. He used to love making me blush. He thought it was the funniest thing in the world," I said, chuckling a little at my memories of Emmett. "Rosalie is his wife. She's probably the most beautiful creature on the planet. But she never liked me. In fact, I think she hates me. She didn't like that I had managed to worm my way into their secret life."
"She was afraid you'd tell someone?" Stella surmised.
"I guess," I shrugged. "Or that Edward would slip and kill me and they'd have to leave their home. Which they did anyway," I said and sighed. "Alice was my best friend. She was like this little fairy. So graceful and ethereal almost. She had visions of the future."
"Visions?" Stella asked, shock on her face.
"She could see the future. But only to a certain extent. She could see things based on what decisions you made. Once you made a new decision, or changed your mind about something, the vision could change," I explained as best I could. "I suppose she always knew when something would happen so the others would be able to avoid dealing with blood. Like, for instance, she knew to let Edward know when we were doing blood typing in biology so he could avoid having to be in a room full of bleeding teenagers."
"What about Jasper?" Stella asked. "What was he like?"
"Jasper was more aloof," I said. "It wasn't that he didn't like me. It was just that he was afraid he'd hurt me. He knew that he couldn't control himself as well. But he was fiercely devoted to Alice. He loved her so much," I said, looking down at my hands again. "Jasper could manipulate people's emotions. So if he was in a room full of angry people, he could calm them all down."
"That would be useful," Stella commented thoughtfully. "And what about Edward?" She finally asked.
I sighed. I really hated talking about Edward. Just thinking his name, let alone saying it, stirred up so many painful memories, so many difficult emotions. "Edward was….well, he was indescribable really," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "He was perfect in just about every way. And I loved him," I shrugged my shoulders. "He could read people's minds, but not mine. It drove him crazy," I had to smile a little at that.
"Do you think any of those vampires out there can do anything?" Stella asked, shuddering a little at the thought of one of them reading our minds or manipulating our emotions.
"I don't know," I shrugged. "It's possible."
Stella settled back on the pillow she was leaning on. The events of the day were starting to catch up with both of us. I was suddenly exhausted and I knew by the way her eyes were drooping that she wanted to sleep as well. "It's weird," she said tiredly. "It was only a few hours ago that Eben and I were getting married."
I looked over at her sharply. I had completely forgotten. Tonight was their wedding night. I suddenly felt terrible for her. Giving her hand a sympathetic squeeze, I smiled. "Don't worry," I said. "We'll get out of this." I didn't really believe it, but I didn't know what else to say. "You'll still make your honeymoon." She smiled at me, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. She didn't believe we would survive this either.
Our conversation drifted off. Over the next thirteen days, the ten of us managed a rather comfortable, if not monotonous, routine. We slept in shifts. We rationed our food. Most importantly, we stayed as quiet as was possible. Every once in a while, we would hear screams from somewhere, or gunshots. There were still other people alive in town. But they were slowly being picked off. We knew that we were being hunted too. Eventually, they would find us. By the thirteenth night, we were starting to run low on food. People were getting antsy. You could only keep ten people cooped up in an attic for so long before tempers began to flare. Eben tried to keep everyone calm. He tried to reassure us. But even he was getting frustrated. We had been counting on a blizzard to give us the cover we needed to make it to the Utilidor, but there hadn't yet been any substantial snow.
This particular night, everyone was a little riled up. Wilson had been having some problems keeping his father, Isaac, quiet. Isaac had Alzheimer's and, every once in a while, he would wake up calling for his dead wife. He wasn't trying to get us killed, but each time he spoke, I think we all expected a vampire to come crashing through the roof. Wilson had just managed to quiet him down when we heard another voice. Someone was calling out from down on the street.
We all moved over to the little boarded up window. Eben pulled the board away as far as he thought was safe and we crammed together to look outside. A girl was walking down the snow packed street. She looked to be about my age. It was freezing outside, well below zero, but she wasn't wearing a coat and she was shaking. But I didn't think she was shaking from the cold. No, she was terrified. "Help!" She called out. "Please. Is anyone there! Someone please help me!"
"We need to get her in here before they hear her," Carter said hurriedly.
"Wait," Eben said, holding up his hand as Beau moved for the ladder.
"What for?" Beau asked, looking back at him incredulously. "That kid's gonna die."
I followed Eben's gaze, trying to figure out what he was looking at that had made him so reluctant to help whoever she was. Then I saw them. Vampires. They were moving so quickly it was difficult to distinguish their shapes on the rooftops. Their pale skin blended in with the snow. But their clothes stuck out. They were following slowly behind the girl, watching, waiting. They were hoping that someone would try to help her – someone else that they could feed on. "Jesus," I muttered when I realized what they were doing. "They're using her as bait."
Eben nodded over to me. "Look at the rooftops," he explained to Beau and Carter. "You see there?" He asked. A pale shape practically blurred from one roof to the next. Others followed it. "They're watching her."
"Shit," Beau said, angrily shuffling across the room. I knew that he wanted to hit something. He was purposefully getting away from us so he wouldn't accidentally lash out at one of us. He sat himself roughly down in a corner and buried his face in his hands, taking deep breaths to calm the anger flaring within him. "Sick fucking bastards," he murmured.
I turned back to the scene unfolding outside of the window. "We can't just do nothing," I heard Stella say behind me. But her voice wavered. Even she knew that there was nothing that we could do, nothing that wouldn't get us all killed. So we all just sat there. That poor girl outside kept calling for help. She called for about twenty minutes, her voice getting weaker and weaker each time no one came for her. Finally, she stopped altogether. That was when the screaming started. No one looked back out the window. No one had the heart to. They were torturing her outside. We could hear the vampires speaking, but they spoke in a language that none of us understood. Then one of them said two words I would never forget. "No God." The girl screamed for about ten minutes straight while they clawed at her and bit her before the screams finally died.
But it was actually worse to hear nothing because we knew what that meant. She was dead. She was dead because we didn't help her. I tried to rationalize it in my mind. I knew that we couldn't have gone out there. We couldn't have done anything. It was dangerous enough just sitting in this damn attic without parading around inviting vampires to find us. But that fact didn't make it any less difficult to accept that our inaction had caused her death. No God. The weight of that bore down on all of us, Beau especially. He didn't really like to be around people. He always kept himself at a distance from us, even in the attic. But he was fiercely protective of us. Of all of us, he probably slept the least. He didn't trust anyone else to watch over us. That he didn't save that girl was almost more than he could stand.
Another day passed. One of the guys with us, a man named Doug, suddenly stood up and declared that hiding in the attic was stupid. "We need to get out of here," he said. "We're just sitting here waiting to die. We should make a run for it."
"We'd never make it," I said glumly. I didn't really have the heart to argue with him, even though I knew his "run for it" idea was completely idiotic.
"Maybe all of us," he agreed. "But some of us could get away."
"You little shit," Beau said, standing up and striding over to him angrily. "So what, you'll risk all of us just on the off chance that you're one of these lucky few who manages to escape?"
"That's not what I meant," Doug backpedaled.
"Like hell it isn't," Beau said, getting up in his face. "You're a pussy, Doug."
Doug did something very stupid then. He pushed Beau. And all hell broke loose. Beau reached back to punch him, but Eben caught his arm. Beau was a big man and it took Eben and Carter to hold him back while Wilson tried to talk down Doug from getting himself in even deeper. They were all speaking way louder than they should have been. Stella jumped to her feet, whispering harshly for everyone to calm down. I just watched the whole thing. We had made it fourteen days so far without anyone finding us. Leave it to the men to get into some pissing contest that would get us all killed.
Getting to my feet, I walked into the middle of the fray, held up my arms, and said as quietly, but firmly, as I could, "Everyone just shut the fuck up!"
That did it. They were so surprised to hear me say the word fuck that they all actually did shut up. It was kind of amazing. I had to remember that. Beau started chuckling a little and I turned beet red, but my anger didn't lessen any. Turning to Doug, I threw my best bitchy, enraged glare at him and said, "Thanks for your oh-so-great ideas, but why don't you just sit down and let the adults make the decisions, okay?" Doug was, of course, a middle aged man, but I was angry at him and I wanted to make him feel small. He opened his mouth to reply, but I cut him off. "Whatever you're about to say, just forget it. I'm not in the mood. Beau there may be big and tough, but you seriously don't want to mess with me."
Eben, Stella, and Beau all got a strange look on their faces and nodded. "Yeah," Stella agreed, "you really want to avoid pissing her off." I realized that they were all thinking of the little incident in which I had beheaded John Riis, newly made vampire, with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm. They hadn't told any of the others about that, which was unfortunate at this particular moment because that fear of me would have come in quite handy. Even though Eben, Stella, and Beau didn't show it, I knew they were a little afraid of me. None of them had expected me to pick up that axe and do what I did. I hadn't even really expected it of myself. And honestly, I was a little scared of me too. I didn't know that I had the capacity to actually behead someone, well, not just someone, a vampire. Still, I creeped myself out a little. I hadn't adequately dealt with how I felt about my actions yet and I knew I probably wouldn't until we were safe again, if that ever happened.
"And you," I said, turning to Beau and pointing my finger at him. He looked at me in surprise. Apparently, he thought I was just going to unleash my fury on Doug. "You need to stop stomping around here. Just calm down. There's nothing we can do about anything. The best we can do is sit here and wait for a blizzard, which hopefully will come soon. Everyone grumbling and picking fights with each other is only going to get us killed."
"She's right," Eben said.
"Whatever," Doug said, extricating himself from Wilson and moving to the other side of the attic. Beau nodded and threw up his hands, moving away. Eben and Carter let him go. I sighed, running a hand through my limp hair. I hadn't washed it in fourteen days. We were all starting to look, and smell, a little ripe. The guys were all sporting beards now, no one actually having the opportunity to shave. Eben's hair was starting to look a little wild. I wanted nothing more than a hot shower and a warm, comfy towel, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. So I settled for imagining how good one would feel for a few moments.
Then I noticed Beau sitting by himself again and sighed. Moving over to him, I sat down next to him. "How are things?" He asked. He was pretty gruff with everyone else, but he didn't seem to mind talking to me.
"Alright," I said. "You?"
"Alright," he replied, mirroring my response. We sat in silence. I felt like I was talking to Charlie. Pain shot through me again when I thought of him. Beau seemed to notice it. "You sure you're okay?" He asked.
"I was just thinking of my dad," I answered truthfully.
"You miss him?" Beau asked.
"Yeah," I said. "He lives in Washington."
"So what are you doing here?" Beau asked. Evidently, he wasn't on the town gossip vine or he would have heard all about Eben's little cousin flying in for his wedding.
"Eben is my cousin," I explained. "I came for his wedding."
"Oh," Beau replied. "I hate weddings."
"I'm not so fond of them either," I snorted.
"Fuck," he said suddenly, "I can't stand just sitting here."
"I know," I said quietly. "But we have to."
"We should be doing something," he said.
"Beau," I replied, looking at him. He needed to understand. Eben, Stella, and I could only hold things together so much. Wilson had his dad to watch over. Doug was only out for himself. Denise and Lucy were too terrified to speak up about anything. Carter was helpful, but he always seemed distant. "We need you," I said sincerely.
He looked at me for several long moments, weighing my words. Finally, he nodded. "Okay," he said.
"Okay?" I asked, relieved that he seemed to sense my urgency.
"Okay," he replied again. "I get it."
"Thanks," I said, smiling lightly.
Stella walked up to us then. "It's your turn to sleep Beau," she said. He was about to argue with her that he could stay awake, but he looked pretty tired. So he just nodded and settled back in his blanket.
I moved back over to my sleeping area, which was right next to where Eben and Stella slept. Eben was bunking down for the night. Tonight was my night to sleep too. Stella and Wilson were staying awake. I laid back down in my blanket and tried to relax. The tension had finally started to dissipate from the attic, but I knew that tomorrow would only bring more problems. I just hoped that it started snowing soon. We could only survive in one place for so long before we ran out of food or the vampires found us. I drifted off to sleep. A few hours later, I woke up to a banging sound. I glanced around wildly, expecting to see vampires streaming into the attic. But I just saw everyone sprawled around, asleep. Everyone except Eben, Stella, Wilson, and Isaac. I looked around, trying to find them, and my gaze landed on the open attic door. The ladder was down. A cold sweat broke out on my skin.
I saw that the axe was still laying by Eben's pillow. He had brought it up into the attic with him when we first arrived. I grabbed it, holding it uncertainly in my hands, before tightening my grip around the handle. Then I moved over to the opening in the floor. I couldn't see anything below. I couldn't hear anything either. Where had they all gone? Why would they leave? And, more importantly, why hadn't they told anyone that they were leaving? I started to descend the ladder. I went down facing forward, facing the darkness. My back was to the attic. I was halfway down, still clutching the axe, when someone stepped in front of the ladder. Light shone in through a crack in the boarded up window and landed on his face. It was as pale as death. My heart stopped in my chest. The vampire from the truck was staring up at me, realization dawning in his eyes. He knew where we all were now.
He looked at me hungrily, but there was a war going on in his mind. I knew he wanted to grab me and sink his teeth into my neck. That was obvious. But I didn't know what else he was thinking about until he took one step backward. "Oh shit," I said. He wasn't going to kill me. No, he wasn't going to bite me now because he was going to find the others and tell them where we were. We wouldn't be able to get out fast enough. They would be on us before we could move. He turned toward the door and I did what was probably the stupidest thing I had ever done in my life. I gripped that axe so hard my knuckles turned white and I launched myself off the ladder, smacking directly into his rock hard body.
