Sunday August 27th
My bedroom
10:00am
11 days until we're all forced back into the clutches of Stalag 14.
1 minute later
And 11 hours since I made a complete prat out of myself in front of a Sex God.
30 seconds later
THE Sex God.
30 seconds later
But I refuse to recall the terrible details of last night's encounter with him.
5 minute later
No matter what. I'll take those memories to my grave and beyond.
Kitchen
11:45am
I said, "Mutti, why does it smell like something is burning?"
Mutti said, "I was cooking."
"Unsuccessfully, I see."
"Shut up."
12:00pm
Mutti made pancakes…ish.
She sat down across from me.
Mutti said, "What's been going on in your life, Gee?"
I tried to keep quiet but the embarrasmentnosity from last night got to me.
I said, "Fine! I'll tell you! Just stop bugging me about it! I became a man, and then got a job and became a hard working woman. And then I was a great friend to Jas, and we got locked in veggie storage room. And then, Rosie dressed as Hilary the spy, found us with Robbie, who was supposed to be serenading sheep and snogging rogue bores. So why was he back you ask? I'll tell you. I don't know! Because, when he got there he told me I had nice hair, and pants. And I remembered I was a boy. So I started to drool. Then, he wanted to take a walk. So we did. And sadly, when we got to the park my brain had fallen out along the way, so the most I could say was 'Despite my appearance, I don't have a trouser snake addenda'. And then the banana that Dave insisted I wear in my knickers fell out the leg of my pants. Can you believe it? I can't! Finally, we got back to our house, and he tried to kiss me, so I told him 'I left Angus in the airing cupboard, and have to go get him out'. But my good old furry pal jumped off the wall and onto Robbie's head. Thankfully not tearing too big of a chunk of hair out of his head. So I scuttled off quickly, but I tripped. Twice. I hate those damn combats!"
Mutti just stared at me. I don't see why.
I took a really deep breath.
Mutti said, "Is that all?"
I stared all wide-eyed, "Is that all? That's all you can say?"
"No, I just wanted to wait for you to finish, so I could talk."
"How can you be so calm?"
"Because, something like that has happened to me before."
"Really? You made a fule of yourself in front a sex god while dressed as a guy?"
"Well, not exactly. But he saw me in dancing around in my knickers through my bedroom window. I think that comes pretty close to what happened to you."
I stood up and walked out the door.
Jas's room
1:30pm
She was trying on some new mascara she had gotten from boots. Lucky for her Tom couldn't work on a farm in a skirt and Jas won the bet.
Jas said, "I really don't see what the big deal is. If I can wear 3inch heels and a skirt, and dance, how could he not run in one?"
"What are you going to make him do when he comes back?"
She got a little teary but continued, "I like to think of myself as full of independentosity, but I think I'm going to see if, okay well this is pretty mean…but, I'm going to make him go on a hike with me."
"So?"
"And NOT bring his hiking stick."
"You'll definitely show him, Jas."
She perked up after that. "At least I can wear make-up again… speaking of dressing as a guy, what are you going to do about Hawk-eye if the bet goes that long, Gee?"
"I'm going to tell her I'm exploring my inner transvestite."
"And when that doesn't work?"
"I've forged a doctor's note."
"That says?"
I took out my note, and read it aloud. "Georgia has started to attend therapy, and has discovered her inability to pay attention comes from a longing to find out what it's like to be the opposite sex. She's acting, and dressing like the opposite sex to fulfill that dream. She's gradually improving, and I'm hoping that by the end of the month she'll be an entirely better person. Sincerely, Dr. Therapist".
"Very convincing."
I like to think so.
I said, "But back to the bigger issue at foot…did Tom say anything?"
"About what?"
"About the price of meat."
"Well, he said it's gone up a bi-"
"ABOUT THE SEX GOD!"
She got all huffy and started to flick her fringe, "It's only been a couple of hours, and I haven't really got to talk to him since last night…"
"Jas, you were on the phone with him when I got here."
"Well I didn't remember to ask."
"How could you not? You were the one making fun of me TO him. When I walked into your room you were mocking me, in a vair crap imitation of my voice might I add."
Then I walked out of her room. Some best friend, I won't be talking to her ever again.
Park
30 minutes later
Jas realized that she's going to need me while Tom is gone, and came to her senses (after I went back to her room, and promised her I'd go on a ramble with her on Tuesday.)
We saw Rollo and Sven ahead of us going towards a footy game. Rollo was dressed normally, but Sven was wearing heels, a brown leather skirt, and blue top. Jas and I attractively ran to catch up to them.
Jas said, "Rollo (pant, pant) why aren't you in drag?"
Rollo said, "Because it's impossible to play footy in that…" He pointed at what Sven was wearing.
Sven posed and said, "My legs look great though!"
