I'm dragging this out longer than I should. So I'm going to try to wrap this up soon. Hope you guys don't mind the pace right now, because it's a little slow. It's gonna be all like WOOSH later. But at least there's a bit of action happening. Yeah? *gets hit by rocks* Oh well. Thanks to those who reviewed and are sticking to the story still! I'm so happy and proud that I've actually managed to get so far with this.

Disclaimer: I don't own APH


Chapter 6: The Witch's House

"Oh god, this is like, totally ruining my clothes!"

"Oh shut up already! Don't be such a wuss puss, you're a flower aren't you?"

"I'm like, a totally classy flower! Not like the backwater plants that sit in the back like you!"

"Why you…"

Lovino rolled his eyes at the argument between the two. Michelle had been arguing with Feliks the entire time about the journey. Every time the annoying blonde would complain about something dirtying his clothes, the young rosemary sprite would nag about how he had it easy and that in the area farther downstream, she was completely used to it. Govert would just laugh along. God, he thought Anri and Abel could be a lot to handle but these three were the worst! Honestly, didn't they know the value of just shutting up?

He passed a nasty glare over his shoulder when he could hear the orchid sprite's loud sighs. "Will you just shut the fuck up already? We're almost there, so just be quiet!" Michelle seemed ready to laugh at the annoying blonde's face but Lovino silenced her with another death glare. Govert still seemed to find this highly amusing but was wise enough not to make another sound or else he would get punched again.

For the past few hours, it seemed the forest was intent on keeping them from getting to Nicnevin. Trees were growing over the path and it was difficult where they were going at times. That and it seemed as if the forest was being a bitch and decided to block out a lot of the light. They'd ended up using some of their lanterns' fuel to make their way through and it pissed Lovino to no end whenever they ended up backtracking. So much time lost when they could be finding the pirate and then getting the hell out of there.

It was late afternoon when they finally caught a glimpse at the damned place. They were all walking, Lovino being pissed off at everyone as usual while everyone blabbered/argued when the Italian had to stop the procession. He was standing at the edge of a cliff overlooking a small valley that housed an ancient looking cathedral at its center.

"Finally! Now let's- What the hell are you doing?!" The young herbalist turned around to see all of them surrounding a bush and staring at it intently.

Abel stood up and grabbed Lovino by the shoulders, whirling him around to stare back at the rotting cathedral. "There's nothing to see here, let's get going!" he barked at the others. The herbalist shoved the blonde sprite's hands off of him.

"The fuck do you mean? What's over there?" This time Anri stopped him.

"Um, well, I don't think you want to come over there Cici! There's uh…there's" she stopped to think, "There's poison ivy over there!" she exclaimed.

Govert looked affronted, "Ivy is not poisonous! Who do you think I am?"

Michelle patted him gently on the back, or more like whacked him hard with the back of her hand, "Oh it's okay! You look just fine! I'm sure you're perfectly friendly and harmless!"

Feliks then had to add, "But, like, isn't there poison ivy that grow on the ground and stuff?"

"But-But, they're not poisonous, just misunderstood!" Govert wailed, his normally cheery face drooping in exaggerated sadness.

There was a cough, and a new voice spoke up, "I do believe an introduction is in order." Michelle and Govert backed away from the voice while Anri and Abel stood in front of the young brunet in a protective stance. He couldn't help but feel a bit touched by the gesture. N-not like he couldn't completely take care of himself if he wanted to though!

Regaining their composure, the three other idiots joined the protective wall around him. He pushed past Abel and Anri, despite their growls and warnings. "Who the hell are you?!" he growled, trying to get the other two sprites from pulling him back behind them. He didn't need a shield every time they went out. He didn't need the idiots getting hurt on his behalf.

The person stepped forward and Lovino could finally see him. Or it. Or whatever the hell it was, because it wasn't human. It was tall, as tall as Abel. It had the head of a horse with bright red eyes and short protruding horns. The torso and arms were that of well-bodied man and the bottom cut off into a pair of horse legs. He was wearing an expensive looking coat and vest, complete with gloves and everything. Like a freaking butler he saw once when passing by the village head's home.

It blinked and stared intensely at him, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Lovino Vargas."

"Why the fuck do you know my name? Who are you?!" he yelled back, his voice surprisingly level. I mean, if he ever stumbled in speech, it was because he was angry and not s-scared of the stupid, freaky looking thing standing in front of him.

It cocked its head to one side, as if trying to get a better look at him. Abel growled and stood in its way. "I am Orobas, unfortunate oracle and prisoner of the exiled witch known otherwise as the malignant Queen of Elphame, Nicnevin," he said in a monotone voice, and he extended a gloved hand.

"What?! You're-" Lovino tensed and fell backwards when a heavy gust of wind blew in front of him. He felt as if the world shifted, like a gear had been pushed out of place. When he got up, he found the rest of the sprites around him frozen into position. The world was in pause, the leaves had stopped falling, the birds stopped flying, the insects stopped moving. The whole world was faded of color, like he was standing at the forefront of some old, dull background.

What the fuck was happening? He walked out of the protective circle the sprites formed around him and waved a hand in front of Anri, then the others. "Time has stopped for us. They can't hear our conversation here." Lovino screamed when he saw the horse demon was standing right behind him. He nearly fell over, and skittered backwards. Hey, you would back up too if a fucking horse headed monster decided to stand right behind you, breathing down your neck!

"W-what the fuck do you want from me?" He cursed himself at the sound of his voice. It sounded so…feeble. He's faced worse than this! He straightened himself up and tried to look the creature in the eye.

It seemed amused. "Look at yourself. So young. So fragile. A bird would fare better in the danger you face. If you were to enter her lair as you are now you would surely die."

"Get to the fucking point, bastard!" Lovino snapped. It probably wasn't the smartest idea to start yelling at the monster, but he didn't fucking care. He had other places to be!

It didn't seem offended at all by his rudeness. In fact, it seemed more amused than anything, "You are poorly equipped for the job, both in mind and body. Tainted and weakened she may be, but her foresight is an ability not so easily forgotten. She has walked among mankind for centuries and has seen through the hardest of hearts and heard the deepest of desires. Your intent is clear and your soul is true, your actions are an open book with which she may find amusement for its predictability."

"And what do you propose I do? What the hell can I do except this?" he said, narrowing his eyes. He already knew where this was going.

"I invite you to my fold. I tire of that wretched woman. She is a tumor that feeds off the vigor of the living to continue to exist. Those unable to protect themselves, those too weak to deny her will are quickly extinguished. A demon such as myself is no exception, especially as she is the unholy conjurer and therefore, master of this realm. It is only befitting that I offer you power that I cannot use myself against her. Remove her and all shall be well. Both goals fulfilled and your life fully intact."

"Che, how do I know you're not in cahoots with Nicnevin. For all I know, you could be the one leading me into a trap sending me off to feed her instead!" He reached into his pack, trying to feel around for the pistol he had brought along with him. C'mon…c'mon…aha there it-

"Murder is not my intention. Bloodshed is distasteful, the only achievement being dirty clothes and soiled souls. But if I truly wanted you dead I would have simply notified the mistress and there would be none left the wiser of your untimely death. But as I do not wish to be caught consorting with you and I do not want you to die quite yet I offer you my services. A nice offer is it not? If she is gone, all our goals will be realized." If its voice wasn't so monotone, Lovino would have said that it sounded a little smug. Bastard.

But it had a point. "And what happens to you?"

It made an odd snorting sound, "I roam free, and continue my studies. Humans are fascinating creatures, unpredictable yet predictable, immortal yet mortal, innocent yet polluted. A paradox one cannot help but ponder. I swear on my honor as the oracle and on the blood of my lifeless heart that I shall not harm a soul while I exist." He couldn't tell if he was lying or not. And that's what scared him most. Everything, everything the stupid horse said was more or less true. And it made him feel even worse that he was practically walking into a death trap with some of the people…the people he cared for most into it. But…

"You sure love to hear yourself talk." He pulled out his gun and pointed it at the horse's head, "No deal. Now…get the fuck out of here before I blow your brains out." He had to hold the pistol with both hands to keep from shaking. He'd never handled a gun before okay?!

"You continue to refuse? Are you so lost that you cannot think? No mere human could possibly survive, you know this do you not?" the horse asked, sounding genuinely confused as to why he would turn the offer down.

Lovino gulped, "Because…" The demon leaned forward to hear him. "Because…I don't need your help! I've heard your fucking statistics before, lots of times! You don't think I don't know that everything you said is true?" He took a shaky breath before continuing, "Of course I know! Of course it seems everything's hopeless the way you say it like that!...But…"

The demon tilted its head in confusion, "But?"

"We're persistent motherfuckers and no matter how many times you try to tell us wrong…we'll just keep going full steam ahead," he chuckled ironically to himself, "And I think you're forgetting who your fucking with. I'm a fucking witch and I won't hesitate to beat your ass and Nicnevin's when I have to. Besides, even if I did make a deal with you, all those idiots would find out and probably tie me to a tree and go on without me," he finished, clicking back the safety. His hands were no longer shaking. In a surprisingly steady voice, "I don't need your help. We can figure this out on our own."

The horse made a strange growling sound at the back of its throat. It took a moment for Lovino to realize that it was laughing. "Very well. Perhaps I have underestimated you little one. I will watch you play in this game, little fool. Shall a miracle occur? I wonder…" It said, the last part more to himself and turned its back to him. With a snap of its fingers, everything shattered. The color of the world was no longer muted and everything was set back into motion. The only thing missing was a certain horse demon. Damn it.

"You better fucking bet on it!" he yelled to the sky. He was pretty sure the demon could hear him. He ran a nervous hand through his hair. This was probably, most likely, going to bite him back in the butt. But no way was he going to make a deal with a demon. He'd made some…admittedly…a couple of stupid mistakes, but he was smart enough to know to avoid these types of shady deals.

And of course, now that the weird time stop thing was over, that meant the noisy dumbasses were up and back in action too, each of them crying out his name.

"Lovino!"

"Cici!"

"Bubby!"

"Where'd the last one come from?!" Lovino screeched, as all five of them jumped him and made one messy dog pile.

After letting him breathe, Anri patted him down. And by patting down, he meant just shy of molesting him because she and Michelle were poking him just about everywhere. Anri asked him worriedly, "Are you hurt? Did he do anything? You're fine right?"

The herbalist pushed them away, "Yes, I'm fine! He didn't do anything but talk. I'm fine!" They weren't really convinced when they noticed he was holding Antonio's pistol.

Abel was cracking his knuckles and scowling at the scenery, "Where did that fucker go?"

Feliks flipped his hair, and looked around. "I think that horse guy like, left a while ago," he then began to pout, "And that magic he used like, totally messed up my hair!" He pulled at a few strands, "Look, like they're all totally magically saturated and stuff!"

Govert, ignoring all of them, was picking at the ground, "Strange…he left a trail…" he said distractedly and picked up a handful of dirt and dropping it in one of those empty vials he always had in his pockets.

The young brunet groaned, "Ugh, we don't have time for this! Let's just get Antonio already and then get out of here. I don't wanna be around if that horse freak is here." He turned on his heel and began walking down without looking back to see if they followed.

Antonio was surprised the security was so lax. He would have assumed that he would be more guarded, but when he broke out of the confessional booth he found the adjoining room to be empty.

...


...

She was either very, very overconfident in her abilities to keep him, or she knew he wouldn't be able to get out. As much as he was hoping for the former, the sorceress probably knew what she was doing. Her laughter was still ringing in his ears and he had to shake his head to get the wretched noise out, replacing it with a certain Italian's angry, yet concerned voice.

"You dumbass, what took you so fucking long?" It was something Antonio thought the young herbalist would say when he returned. And then the little brunet would hug him anyway, calling him a bastard or a jerk while doing so. And for the sake of that reunion, he searched harder for any form of escape. He had tried prying open the windows and smashing them with the nearby candelabras, but it was as if they were mere decorations on the stone walls. He tried to pry open the doors, tried to break them down, but they were as unmovable as the windows.

He sighed, "Mierde…" Now how was he going to get back to his cute little tomato? It was at that moment, a flash of light and there appeared the sorceress herself. She was wearing a flowing blue dress, similar to the green one she had worn the day before. Of course, the smug grin was still there. Antonio scowled.

"I see you've actually managed to pull yourself out!" she said with fake surprise and clapped her hands. "Such a good job!"

He smiled, not bothering to hide the malice in it, "Well, of course! With such sloppy handiwork, it would have been easy enough for even a newborn to get out of that chair!"

The smug smile faltered a bit, a frown nearly making its way out before disappearing again. "How do you like your room? Cozy isn't it?" True, the cathedral would have been nice. Wide windows with stained glass and the high ceilings and arches with elaborate sculptures, it would have been beautiful if not for the actual content of the décor. Beautiful faces, screaming in terror, and pentagrams stood where crosses should be. The stained glass showed the steps of a sacrificial ceremony, the last step pictured at the largest window behind the altar held a picture of a bloody corpse.

He simply smiled. Donning the countenance that led to some unfortunate fools to dub him as imbalanced, he replied, "I could ask for no better lodgings. I can't wait for the moment when I shall rip the still-beating heart from your chest and offer it to your very own altar."

Before he knew it, she was right in front of him, a hand splayed on his chest, pushing him back and keeping him in place, and a lopsided smile similar to his own, "How fascinating, you're still so deluded as to believe that you'll be able to escape? To be able to kill me?" She laughed and stepped back, "A pity you're delusions seem to have infected my young witch, because he seems to be coming for you."

It took all of his willpower not to drop the mask he was wearing. "Oh? What could you possibly be talking about?" But he put his hands behind his back, squeezing the handle of his knife.

He wanted to rip the woman's smile off her face. Preferably by slicing it off as slowly and as painfully as possible…He idly noted that his thoughts were starting to become violent again. But he found that he no longer felt the need to hold back, now that Lovino was no longer present.

"Perhaps I'll let him 'save' you. He's never failed to entertain me. I knew I made the right decision when I took him in," she said, talking about the herbalist as if he were some toy she found interesting again.

"And you're going to regret it," Antonio said, with false cheer, "Don't underestimate Lovino. He'll get you now that you've turned your back to him."

She turned around, he could practically hear the smugness in her voice, "I doubt that it will be my back he'll be stabbing~! You'd better prepare yourself!" She then disappeared in another flash of light, forcing the pirate to turn his head away. When she was gone, he found himself walking to the window, pressing himself against it in an attempt to see a familiar brunet come walking out of the forest.

Guilt. Anger. Frustration. He couldn't believe that Lovino would…Okay, actually he could. The innocent Italian was too kind, even when he said he wasn't. The herbalist shouldn't have to go out of his way to save him. As touched as he was by the gesture, he wasn't about to sit idle and let his dearest do all the work while he sat by like some damsel in distress. With new resolve he set about, looking for a weak point, a place he could exploit.

That place turned out to be the ceiling. Looking up at the highest point of the vaulted ceiling, there was a chandelier. Normally, a cathedral's main altar would use natural light from the windows and candles on the ground floor would provide then necessary illumination. In a room such as this, adding a highly decorated chandelier was redundant.

One thing led to another, and he found himself climbing the arches, climbing up and up until he reached the chandelier. He pulled on it a couple of times, checking to see if it was safe. Then he cautiously put one foot on it, then the other. He whistled, "This is the probably the best chandelier I've ever seen!" he exclaimed to no one in particular. "But to think she would go out of her way to put me down here…" He smiled to himself, so she really must think he was threat if she would go so far to imprison him here. Putting the knife handle in his mouth, he climbed the chandelier's chain and made it the very top.

At the top, he felt a draft and the area overhead felt weaker, breakable. Jackpot.

...


...

Meanwhile, Lovino was hiding in the bushes, trying to be inconspicuous while there were five other idiots trying to hide in the exact same bush. "And can you tell me why the hell you guys are hiding in this bush?"

"We can't let lose you again, Cici," Anri said determinedly, "So we're going to stick with you no matter what."

The human groaned before pulling back into the safety of the forest to glare at the rest of them. "So…once we get in we're splitting up. Me, Anri and the other blonde dumbass (like, hey!) are going to the altar on the south side and you guys are looking at the confessional on the north side. We all meet up here with one extra dumbass and everyone better come back alive or else I'll revive you and strangle you myself! Got it?!"

The aconite spirit snorted, "Way to make a motivational speech, Cici."

"Shut up!" He then pulled over his knapsack and took out the vial of blight. It had already eaten away most of the branch and fuzzy white patches were forming around the sides of the glass. He needed to get rid of this soon before the whole vial would have to be disposed of. In the end, he was the one that had to go out in the open first, as the flower plants couldn't risk getting the blight he was intentionally releasing. "Step back and stay out of the way, got it?"

They gave him the thumbs up. Taking in a deep breath, he pulled off the cork holding the blight in and threw it as hard as he could so it would land in the middle of the field. After hearing the vial break, he ran straight back into the woods, watching as the sickness quickly spread. Now normally, stem blight would never move this quickly, but Govert, the little psycho, made a few alterations. But anyways, he made a note to shred the recipe later on, because at the rate it went, it could probably cause a gigantic famine with how quickly it killed plants. If the formula was ever caught by some psychopath (like Govert) or some idiot (like everyone else) whole cities would be doomed.

The sickness spread as quickly as he could run, which was pretty damn fast because he ran away- er, had to chase away a lot of perverts and bastard weeds back in the day. Even though it was necessary and those bilberries were all just a couple of assholes, he cringed and had to cover his ears when they screamed. It was brutal. Like he was killing a crowd of people and all of them were screaming in pain…the thought turned his stomach. He was pretty thankful he hadn't eaten anything, or else he probably would have up-chucked it by now. Seriously, what sane person would be able to stomach listening to that?

Later, he would deny all accounts of him clinging onto Anri and letting himself get hugged by the rest. When the screaming stopped, Lovino peered out of the bushes. A clear path had been cut for them. The wall of bilberry bushes had fallen apart, wilted into dead branches and sagged to the ground. Well…that was easy. The blight was still moving, albeit slower than before. He motioned for them to move and as discreetly as they could…which was pretty much smashing through all the dead and dying underbrush to get to the tower.

One window was conveniently open and Govert swung a hook onto the sill.

"Okay," Abel began, experimentally tugging the rope, "I'll go first since…" he gave them all a bland look, "I'm probably the only real man here." Suffice to say, that earned a harsh kick in the shins from Lovino, and a hard whack from Anri and Michelle.

"Like, whatever, let's just like, get this over with before we totally get caught," the blonde, orchid sprite said, nervously twirling his hair and looking from side to side. "Like I totally don't want those ugly trolls to be like here and like mess up my totally awesome hair."

Govert jumped onto the rope right after Abel got inside, "I want to see all her stuff! Maybe I can take some back and see if I'll finally get you that three-headed snake you always wanted, Lovino!"

"Why the hell would I want that?" Lovino hissed, "And keep your goddamn voices down! At this rate, it doesn't matter if we got the bilberries, we'll attract all the guards here!"

Michelle pulled the irritated Italian back, "Well, it's not like your 'quiet' voice is helping matters either you know." She merely shrugged when the herbalist glared at her and looked up at Abel, who had just gotten into the room. "Looks like you're next-"

"WHEEEEE!" Govert yelled, as he practically ran right up the tower walls, using the rope as a simple guide to get him to the window.

"Ahhh! Please be quiet Govert!" Anri wailed and she practically ran right after him. She ended up running straight into the ivy sprite and making them both fall into the window. Lovino cringed at the crash. If they had to be idiots, couldn't they do so quietly?

Feliks fingered the rough rope, "Ewww, like, if I use this my beautiful porcelain hands will like, get blisters and stuff and be all totally gross!" Before he could protest, Michelle threw him over her shoulder.

"Hmph, this is what you get for inviting pansy flowers to the party Cici!" the pigtailed girl called over her back.

"It's not like I wanted him here dammit!" But she ignored him. Instead, she grabbed the rope and pulled herself up and the complaining blonde without so much as a sweat. At the top, she threw the orchid sprite into the window with as much gentleness as a sack of potatoes.

Abel and Anri peered over the edge, and they whispered…or more like yelled quietly (if that was even possible), "Time to get up Cici!"/"Hurry up already, brat."

"I'm moving, I'm moving!" he snapped louder than he meant to. He carefully grabbed the rope and climbed as quickly as he could up to the window. Which wasn't that fast, but give him a break! Comparing him to a bunch of superhuman idiots who had no freaking limits whatsoever was a bit unfair for him, who while amazing in his own right, was still kinda human and couldn't exactly run up walls at the speed of fucking light.

So far, so good. Things were going off quietly and he was halfway there. Just a bit more and he was done! But as he was climbing, a stray rock lodged in the tower wall fell onto the ground with a loud thunk. Of course. Of fucking course things weren't going to go well!

It as then that several snarls could be heard and he looked down in horror as several guards began to creep out of the shadows, heading towards the source of the noise. Him.

He kind of just…froze for a bit, unsure if he should move or not with the guards right freaking there. A single movement could cause them to look up and BAM, they'd be caught. He couldn't make out what they were saying exactly, they were trolls and communicated mainly through a series of grunts and gestures. Now if there's one thing people got right about any mystical creatures, it was that trolls were big, ugly, and the stupidest things you could ever meet.

Ugly #1 was waving his arms at the dead patch of bilberries and hit Ugly #2 over the head, while making a bunch of other guttural, growling noises assumed to be scolding. Ugly #2 made an annoyed grunt and shoved Ugly #1 over and pointed at the dead field and, was trying to convey that it wasn't him. Ugly #1 apparently didn't believe him and whacked him with a club.

This of course, led to a fight and before long it was all yelling and punches. Lovino shot his head up when he heard some muted arguing from the top and nearly let go of the rope when he was pulled sharply upwards. Anri leaned out over the window and put a finger to her mouth. We'll carry you up, stay quiet, she mouthed, or that's what it looked like she was trying to say. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak and patiently waited to get pulled up. He was almost…almost there. Another foot and he would be homefree.

Of course, that's when the rope had to snap. Dammit, this is why idiots like them shouldn't play with rope!

"Fuck!" he yelled, unable to keep himself from cursing as he began to fall back to the earth. He heard the fighting below stop and confused grunts from below. They were so fucked. Or they would be, if Abel hadn't grabbed his hand at the last second and all but threw him into the room.

He ended up falling flat on his back, breathing heavily and trying to calm himself down after having a mini panic attack earlier. In fact, everyone seemed to be doing the same, and they all held their breath as they waited to see if the trolls would try to pursue the sound or continue their infighting. They all breathed again with the sound of smashed skulls and broken ribs.

"Damn it kid, leave it to you to have the worst fucking luck in the world huh?" Abel ruffled his hair, "Try not to get into trouble again brat. Can't save your ass next time around."

Lovino pouted, "I'm not a kid and it wasn't even my fault!" And he gave him a hard shove, while glaring accusingly at the others, "I can take care of myself, so make sure you watch your own fucking ass before I kick it all the way to next week!" He brushed himself off and looked around the room. Leave it to Nicnevin to use such a tacky looking bedroom. The room was practically covered in jewels and pretty trinkets mixed with expensive looking vases and tapestries. It was a mess, and the only real space was where the bed was. Bitch needed to learn how to decorate, because she obviously didn't know how.

"Now, now," Anri said in a placating voice and pulling Lovino to the present, "Let's get going, we don't have much time left do we?" They ended up going into the hall, which was just as ostentatious as the bedroom except less messy and thankfully more organized. It was like walking into a goddamn vault, where everything was probably worth a million cities and then some.

"Shit…" Lovino said, glaring at the place, "It's like somebody puked glitter all over this place."

"But like, oh my God these emeralds totally match my eyes!" Feliks said excitedly, holding up a pair for all of them to see.

"We're not here to shop prissy!" Michelle retorted, Lovino was about to nod his head when she continued, "We're here to get Cici's hubby back! Save those for when they get married!"

"We're not-"

"Save your act for later," Abel said suddenly, grabbing the ivy and rosemary sprites' shoulders, "Let's get going saplings, we've got a plan to finish, remember?"

His sister agreed enthusiastically, "Of course! And when we're done, then we can get Cici's dowry!"

"I just said, we're not-" But of course, nobody listened to him and merely cheered in agreement. He sighed exasperatedly, and glared at three idiots that would be leaving them, "Don't be a fucking hero and get hurt, got it dumbasses? Take care of your seeds…you've got enough blood right?"

Abel snorted in amusement, "Don't you worry about us. Worry about yourself, Cici."

"Ciao, Cici! I'll treat you to eight-legged goat milk when we get back!" Govert declared, and he suddenly hugged the smaller man.

"G-get the fuck off of me bastard!" Lovino squeaked, and was so flustered that he didn't notice the vial the ivy sprite dropped in his bag. He backed away, waving ecstatically as he walked off.

"Pshaw, we'll be catching frogs together instead when we get back, right Cici?" Michelle called out, before being dragged away by the annoyed aconite along with the still waving ivy sprite.

Anri tapped his shoulder, "We should get going too, Cici. We don't want to miss Antonio right?"

"Right…" he replied distractedly. Okay…maybe he was the teensiest, weensiest bit worried about them. I mean, they were sticking their necks out to help him find someone they had never even met. Swallowing his guilt, he moved forward, barely remembering to snap and insult Feliks as the orchid continued to ramble about fashion and the like.

His thoughts ended up drifting to Antonio. 'Bastard…you better not be dead,' he said to himself, and looked up at one of the tapestries hung on the wall. Ironically, it was a picture of Jesus, shepherding his flock. For a second he paused, praying, 'God, I know I'm a fucking awful Catholic and I hate your church for all its worth. But please, for the love of all that is holy just don't let Antonio or any of my dumbasses get hurt. Amen.'

"Cici, like are you coming or not?"

"Yeah, yeah, just shut up already!" he replied, running over to catch up to them.

He let the Anri hold his hand. Of course, because she was the one that was probably scared and worried and needed reassurance. "Be careful Lovino, stay by my side okay?" she said, looking at him with the usual worry and fuss.

He huffed, "I'm not a kid!" He caved when her eyes started watering. "Okay, okay I won't! Happy?" It took a moment for him to realize that she had called him by his real name. It was funny how foreign it sounded in her voice. They walked in relative silence, occasionally looking at the map they had duplicated and double-checking for patrols.


They had been walking for quite a while, the halls suspiciously devoid of any patrols whatsoever. He was expecting trolls, gargoyles, hell he was hoping for an extra bilberry bush to pound into the ground but just…nothing.

"What the fuck is up with this place? Where the hell are all the guards?" he said aloud to the other two.

"Well, maybe they're more clever than you give them credit for. Perhaps they're all hiding? Should we join in on the game?" Govert said, looking inside a small urn. Like anyone could be hiding in there. The aconite sprite swiped the urn before the idiot could break it.

"Don't touch anything dumbass. This is a stealth mission and a single piece out of place could be very, very bad for all of us." The ivy sprite pouted, but let the urn stay where it was, although he cast longing looks at it as they continued onward.

"Hmm, well you know, maybe they're all taking a nap? I mean, it is past noon, maybe they're sleeping off lunch?"

"No self-respecting guard would ever do that, you idiot," Abel retorted, looking about the halls, vigilant of any guards that may be coming by. Govert was wandering off to the front, practically touching everything he shouldn't be touching even when Abel told him not to. Brat needed a fucking leash. At least Michelle, the country bumpkin, could at least…Scratch that. The moment he saw her toying with the gold dresses and swinging around swords was when he decided he would make two leashes for the both of them. Idiots.

"Well she's got a point you know. Eating can tire you out! I mean even you- What is that?!" Govert shrieked suddenly, shrinking back before running back to hide behind Abel. "Scaaaary…"

"Wha? What's got your knickers in a twist?" Michelle asked, looking back curiously before snorting. "Of course you're an upstream kinda guy, figured you'd be a scaredy cat like the rest of them and- EEEK!" she yelped and then she too, was hiding behind Abel like some newborn child. "Ewwwwy! Get rid of it, get rid of it right now!"

"When did you two become like Feliks?" he sighed, running a tired hand through his hair. "Where is it?" They pointed, trembling, towards the end of the corridor.

"Keep going down and you'll see it. All the way down to the door over there!" Govert whispered, "You don't see it now but when you get close you'll see it. It's freaky!" Michelle nodded vigorously in agreement. He checked the map they had again. It should have been recent, so why was there this weird door here? Whatever it was, it was in their way.

"Fine, let's go see it." The other two seemed ready to complain before he pinned them both with his infamous death glare. Walking forward, the door still seemed completely normal, a little decorative with all the fancy carvings on the front, but nothing so special as to scare away these two. Stepping right in front of the door, he began to feel an ominous chill. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up on end. It was annoying. He wished it would go away. "There's nothing here. So stop cowering and let's get on with this already."

"No, no! There really was something here!" Michelle protested, Govert nodding along with her. Abel scoffed and opened the door. Or tried to. He furrowed his brow, then pulled harder.

"What the-" There was a loud crash and then the door groaned. Yep, the door groaned. The handles sunk into the door and out popped a head. A pure gold horse's head. A very familiar horse head.

"I'm afraid you aren't allowed to come in," it said placidly, "At least not yet. The preparations aren't done yet I'm afraid. Please come back at another time."

"Motherfucker, so you showed your damn face again," Abel ground out, before trying to punch the door down. He smiled grimly when the door bent backwards from the force, but was startled when instead of breaking in two, the door pushed him back. He ended up falling onto his rear. "What the-?"

"That's quite enough. No need for violence here."

"Are you kidding with me? I want to go in and you want to stay shut, that only means I've got no choice to beat you down," he said gruffly, cracking his knuckles.

"Yeah, you get him Abel!"/"Punch him in the gut!" the ivy and rosemary said simultaneously. Except they were hiding behind one of the columns far away from the all the action.

"Why the hell are you all the way over there?!"

"I've grown weary of your games. I'm afraid I cannot allow you entrance. Now…" The head began to sink into itself, creaking and twisting until it became some twisted mockery of a human skull. "GUARDS! GUARDS! GUARDS!"

"Fuck! Be quiet you!" He grabbed the head, shoving the jaw tight, but the sound continued.

"GUARDS! GUARDS! GUARDS!" Now he was getting seriously pissed. He stomped onto the ground, making a small crater into the once pristine marble floor. He pulled a chunk out and stuffed the rock down the damned horse's throat as far as it could go. The alarm spluttered out and stopped.

He dusted his hands and turned to the other two, still cowering behind the column, "And that's how you turn off the alarm idiots. Grow some backbone next time!"

Instead of the obedient, 'Yes sir' or the some praise, all he got was a horrified, "Watch out!"

There was a loud cracking sound and suddenly, the door- no, the wall fell crumbled down, revealing a gigantic stone ball. "Heeeheheheh, it's pancake time!" a voice said above, and Abel squinted to see a tiny little gargoyle at the top, brandishing a wicked looking halberd three times his size. And that's when they all started running. Including the gargoyle. Although the damned statue was the reason they were all running in the first place, as the movement caused the ball to move forward. "Shit! Brats, pick up the pace!" he yelled, sprinting as fast as he could down the hallway.

Michelle seemed to get the idea quick enough, as she was sprinting at full speed down the halls. Govert seemed to be absolutely fascinated by the gargantuan wrecking ball that was rolling down and ripping apart everything in sight. "Move your ass, Govert!"

"But how does that work..? I mean, he's so small and the ball is so big! Even if-" Abel punched him. Hard. The idiot was sent flying. Meh. It was faster than running or dragging the idiot along. Besides, even if he was knocked out, Abel was sure he sent him flying far enough to regain consciousness eventually. Eventually.

"Ahhh! Y-you've got to be kidding me! I mean, I-I could outrun a bear but this is a little ridiculous for the old patrolling right?" Michelle panted.

"Just shut up and run!" Eventually, Govert soon came to view. Unfortunately, he seemed to have completely forgotten that he was supposed to be running and not searching through his damn coat and eating waffles. "Didn't I tell you to run already you stupid sapling!?" The ivy sprite gave him a blank look.

"Ohhhhh….so that's what we're doing? I kinda got hit in the head so-" If he could, Abel would have smacked his head against the wall. Why was he paired with these two incompetents again? Why? So this time, he kicked into action.

"Ow, ow, ow! No need for the kicking and all! I was just kidding about the memory loss- OW!"

"Stop that chattering Govert! Ain't no use around here, use your legs not your brain!" Michelle shrieked as the gargoyle-manned wrecking ball came rolling towards them. It was only when they began running did they realize how hard it actually was. They had to dodge various trinkets and piles of junk along the way. So maybe being an insufferable slob was actually working for the tyrannical bitch. Was it him, or were the hallways getting kinda endless? And it felt the floor began to feel a little steeper, as he had to take even greater care as ran so he wouldn't fall forward.

"S-s-so far! GAH Not the hat!" Govert wailed as the tiny bastard running up on top of the ball decided it would be even better to start throwing rocks at them as they ran. The red-eyed sprite had the audacity to just stop to pick up and dust off his hat.

"Get going you dumbass! Unless you want your ass painted on that ball then jump over there and stop it for us!" Abel said, growing more frustrated with the infuriating sapling. Maybe Cici did have a point on not bringing these idiots. But at least Govert was a useful idiot that happened to have lots of dangerous and hopefully explosive things to stop this thing…right?

"I need my hat!" the ivy sprite wailed and ran even faster to catch up to Abel and Michelle, the latter of which was beginning to slow down.

She was sweating profusely and turning red, but she turned to them with a strained, supposedly smug grin, "P-p-pshaw! T-t-this pace i-is nothing!"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," the tall, blonde male said, and he threw her over his shoulder. "Don't you go moving back there unless you want to paint the floor!"

"Wahhh,, this wind feels so nice. Just like being at home near the river again…" the pigtailed girl said with shiny, admiring eyes.

"This is nothing like the swamp you live in, stupid hick!" the aconite panted, running twice as hard to get away. "Govert, do you have anything to get that bastard off our backs?"

"Uh…let me check!" he replied, reaching into his coat and pulling out random objects and checking them off as he went and throwing away things he didn't deem important. "Hamster? No. Goat leg. Nah. Paint? Nope. Fish waffles? Not hungry….uh…hmmm….."

"Could you hurry the fuck up? At this rate, we're going to just be stains on the ground!" Abel screeched. And goddamn how much did this girl eat? He was already getting tired from lugging her around. He turned around to stare at the smug little bastard running along the top of the gigantic stone ball, intent on running them over. He was practically smashing everything, as the hall was just barely large enough to make room for the thing. Jewels, paintings, hell, even the walls were being ripped and scraped off as it began to pick up speed.

"Oh wait a sec! I got it!" Govert said triumphantly, "Now all we have to do is…" he stopped and threw the vial at the ball.

If you're expecting something cool to happen or something like that, you're dead wrong.

"I thought you said you got it!" the blonde yelled when nothing happened.

"Ah well, when I said I got it, I said that I finally found that thing I was looking for! I was supposed to get rid of it years ago but I lost it in my voluminous coat pockets! Isn't that funny? Hahahahah!" Abel had half a mind just to push the dumbass into the ball's path.

"Bastard! Keep looking for something!" the blonde grunted, shifting the brunette on his shoulders. He then heard snoring. "Oi, oi, you can't fall asleep on my fucking back you brat!" He smacked her on the leg and then on the behind.

"Owowow! What are ya doing? I was taking a nap you know!" the rosemary said indignantly, rubbing at her eyes.

"Now's not the time! If you can nap you can run!" And he threw her onto her feet. She fell back a few feet from the sudden movement but quickly caught up. Once seeing that the girl could run on her own two feet he turned to Govert, "Get us out of here! An escape or anything! Just get us out of here or break that ball!"

"I'm looking, I'm looking!" the ivy sprite said, frantically searching through his coat for an answer. "Aha!" He pulled out a grappling hook, "How about this-"

"Look out!" Michelle said suddenly. They both looked ahead and saw that his was a fucking dead end. But that wasn't even the most surprising thing. Everyone gaped for a second, not believing what they were seeing.

"Ah, it's you guys!" Antonio said, looking just as surprised as they were.

"Move out of the way dumbass!" the three sprites screamed and the pirate ducked back underneath the floor. Then all of sudden, the ground fell from underneath them.

It took five seconds to get down.
It took 10 seconds to hide.
It took 1 second for the ceiling to cave in.
...

The pirate was pretty sure he had to be the luckiest man alive, as he had somehow managed to survive the entire collapse thanks to a strange statue that managed to shield him at the last second. But dust and rocks aside, he found himself sitting among the ruins with no person in sight. Well, that didn't take long. She must have underestimated him after all if he was placed in such an easily spotted location. But upon finding no one, he began to worry. This was a predicament now, wasn't it?

And now, he was currently searching for the possibly dead companions and family of his precious Lovino. His darling would definitely not be happy with him if he found out the pirate let Abel die, despite being a pain in the ass. And he may or may not have felt slightly guilty that the blonde man had probably come here to save him and had died on the expedition.

He pulled away rock after rock, calling them over and over again. So far, his efforts had been fruitless except for the black halberd he had found. He recalled the odd gargoyle-like creature running on top of the ball had one strapped to his back. He pried it out of the rubble to examine it. The blade was completely black, like obsidian except far more solid. He ended up using it as a sort of crowbar to lift up the heavier bits of rock. After a good twenty minutes, Antonio threw himself onto the ground, frustrated.

"Shit…" He decided to try and call out one more time, "Abel! Bastard! Anyone there? Call out to me if you're alive!"

He wasn't surprised that no one answered back. He was surprised, however, when a rock about the size of his head started flying towards him. He jumped out of the way at the last second, feeling the rock brush across the bridge of his nose. "Who's there?" he called, brandishing the halberd. He hadn't used a halberd in a while, but he'd make do with it for now. Anything was better than that puny knife.

"Shaddup already! You asked if I was there and I'm right fucking here. Whoop dee doo." Antonio slumped his shoulders in relief at the familiar snarky voice.

Walking over, he found the blonde struggling to pull himself out of the odd hole in the ground. He extended a hand, and after a good deal of glaring, the man grudgingly took it. "Don't think I'm going to say thanks you bastard."

"I know." Honestly, Antonio now understood where Lovino's own grumpiness came from. "Where are your friends? Are they down there as well?" he asked before sticking his head in the hole, "Hellooooo?"

"Dumbass, of course they aren't! They're probably around here somewhere. They're cockroaches, a little rockslide isn't going to kill them," he said nonchalantly, before walking off in another direction. "Brats! Get your asses out of here before I drag them out for you!"

Antonio jumped back when a hand reached out from the hole he had been looking in, "Ahhhh, don't be so noisy…I was sleeping ya know!" Without thinking, he grabbed the hand and pulled. "Ow, ow, ow, gentler please! Sheesh is that how you treat a lady?"

"Ah, lo siento, I was worried," the pirate replied kindly, before pulling more gently to get the person out. It was probably a woman, but one couldn't be too sure. Francis could make a convincing woman's voice when he wanted to.

There was a pregnant silence. "It's you!" And Antonio was startled again, when the hand pulled harshly on him and a young woman jumped out. She looked a little scraped and bruised but otherwise, seemed fine. She reminded him strongly of Elizaveta, with her boyish clothing and brash way of speaking. She was fairly pretty (but not as pretty as his Lovino), with tanned skin and twin ponytails. She brushed off her dusty overalls before spitting in her hand and extending it to him. "I'm Michelle, nice to meet 'cha!"

"Ah si, I'm Antonio-"

"Oh I know who you are!" she interrupted, "Now that we've found you we can finally leave! Time to go find Cici and get the hell out!"

"Not before we find Cici, sapling," Abel called over his shoulder, pulling up the idiot ivy sprite out.

"Ow, ow, ow, that hurts! Don't be so rough!" the red-eyed man whined.

"Ah there you are Govert!" Michelle grabbed his arm, "C'mon over Annie, this is Govert!"
'Annie' frowned at the nickname but let the woman drag him over all the same. The man seemed younger than Antonio, and was wearing a green overcoat with a green hat, that miraculously stayed intact. The red eyes reminded him of a certain bigoted German but the brown hair disrupted the effect. That and the lack of the use of the word 'awesome' every five seconds.

"Shut up and get out already," Abel said callously.

"I can't because I'm stuck!"

Antonio stepped in, placing his halberd at one of the rocks entrapping the poor man, "Allow me." He grunted as he heaved the rock out of the way and the man slipped out.

"Ahhhhh, I love you!" the man proclaimed, proceeding to squeeze the life out of the human.

"Ah you're welcome! But I have to say that my heart belongs to Lovi~!" he said before prying the enthusiastic male off his person. "Where is my Lovi anyway?"

Abel scowled, "He isn't yours you fucktard. We've got to go pick him up now." He rounded on the previously trapped man, "Give me the mirror. You better not have lost it."

"Of course not!" Govert said indignantly, and he began to dig through his coat before passing over a round, pocket sized mirror. Antonio stared between the three would-be saviors. How could they possibly have survived a fall like that? Any other person would have died. Did this mean they were witches as well or something else?

As if sensing his thoughts, Michelle spoke, "We're sprites just so ya know. We're not exactly human but I'd say we're pretty darn close!" When he simply blinked at her she continued. "Like, we're special cases. We're all bonded to a plant of some kind and stuff. Like I'm rosemary, Govert is ivy, and Abel is aconite. Normally we can't really go too far without, you know, our host plants, but Cici did his witchy spell thing to get us out here. You should thank him next time ya see him! But anywho, we're pretty much those fairy things you humans like to talk about so much. Hope you ain't too freaked out."

It was a little confusing, her explanation. But all of sudden Antonio felt another pang of guilt. He had gotten captured and if Lovino was not here, he was somewhere else in this hellhole. "What are we waiting for then?" he said with strained cheer, "We need to find him!"

"Just hold your horses for a sec, we need to know where he is first of all!" Michelle said, holding him back. And then she frowned, "But you know, we weren't even close to the confessional booths but here you are. It's kinda suspicious now that I think 'bout it...And who would have thunk we'd find you after some old fluke like that?..." she trailed off into thoughtful grumbles. Antonio was struck with a pang of fear, an emotion he hasn't felt in years. Except it wasn't fear for himself this time...

"What the fuck is wrong with this thing?" Abel ground out at the same time, glaring at Govert. "What is this? Why is it blank?"

The red-eyed man widened his eyes. "What? Are you sure? It's just not dark or foggy?"

"Why don't you look at it?" the blonde snarled before shoving the mirror into his hands.

"Ah that means…that means either the mirror is malfunctioning or…or the other side can't answer..."

"Shit," Abel cursed.

Antonio had heard enough and pulled away. He didn't even wait for the others, choosing to climb up the rubble, which had formed a broken, makeshift ramp to get to the higher floor. He pulled himself up to higher ground and ran down the halls, not caring where he was going. He would smash every wall, every door if it would to find his precious Lovino. Witch or not, he was going to kill this Nicnevin bitch the moment he saw her too. No one made threats to his darling without losing a hand or two. Lovino…wait for me.


Writing action is difficult. Again, I'm gonna try to wrap this up in 2 - 3 more chapters. So...LET'S TAKE THIS UP A NOTCH. Chapters will be longer, if you guys don't mind that. And I hope y'all are prepared for the length of new chapters. I hope this was satisfactory. This is all rather new to me, so I'd appreciate some critique if you have any. But that's all, please leave a review on your way out! Again, many thanks to those who reviewed. Thou art the fountain of energy upon which I draw the strength to write. Peace out yo.