Disclaimer – I own nothing and some dialogue you will recognise from the books

Chapter 7

As I'm closing the door from yet another enlightening session with Dr Loser, I hear a familiar gruff voice.

"What's with the notepad and pen? Finally finding your therapy sessions useful enough to take notes?" Haymitch asks half joking; half hoping it might be true.

"Hah! No!" I say with a smirk. "Today's way to annoy him….every time he asked a question I would just nod and write down notes or ask him ' how do you feel about that'. See how he likes it for a change!"

Haymitch grins "I bet he loved that."

"He kicked me out early." I nod returning the grin.

Haymitch just shakes his head and sighs.

"Well I'm sick of him psychoanalysing me and telling me I'm perfectly safe. Plus it keeps me entertained now they are cutting back my morphling even more." I say in defence.

"From what I hear that's not the only thing keeping you entertained these days…" he replies with a glint of laughter in his eyes.

He knows! How can he know? Seriously being a Victor sucks…everyone knows your business!

I narrow my eyes at him "Meaning?" I enquire.

"Oh come on Johanna, I know everything remember." he replies smugly.

"Oh sure keep telling yourself that, you know fuck all." I say with confidence.

He doesn't know he just is perceptive, he's probably seen the amount of time I've been spending with Gale and put two and two together.

"Been in any nice cupboards lately?" He asks with a mocking innocence.

Damn….How does he know!?

"Seriously how can you possibly know that? Do you stalk me, Perv?" my voice comes out in a slightly higher pitch that normal. I sound like the child that's been caught doing something naughty.

"Remember, I know everything…." he laughs.

"But how?!" I ask, frustrated now.

"Because, Sweetheart, I'm superior….and don't you forget it" He guffaws out. He's clearly pleased with himself.

I punch him hard in the arm and go to walk away but he stops me.

"No seriously, I did want to talk to you about a few things." He says in a sombre tone, the smile wiped clean off his face.

"Aw really, Haymitch, I'm so sick of people trying to have serious talks with me" I moan.

"Please, this won't take long." He gestures to an empty corridor and I walk beside along it until we reach a dead end and he stops. He opens a door into a room that looks like it's used for teaching, but it's empty at the moment.

We sit down and he begins by asking about what happened to me in the Capitol, I get up to walk out as soon as he asks but he grabs my arm and roughly pulls me back down in the chair like a child getting scalded. He tells me I need to tell someone what happened to me so they can try to help me. I tell him I don't want or need any help but he pulls the Victor card…how Victors always look out for one another know each other secrets but never tell. So I decide to tell him, its Haymitch after all and we go way back and have been through so much and there aren't that many of us left. The bond between all victors is strong and I trust Haymitch with my life….only second to Finnick but he has his own things going on at the moment.

So I tell him….i tell him everything, every gory detail about how they beat me, cut me, stabbed me, starved me, soaked and electrocuted me. He stays silent as I talk but turns an almost green colour, I don't even notice he's holding my hand until he gives it a squeeze when I'm all done. I actually do feel better that someone knows and Haymitch isn't the type for feeling sorry or pitying me, which is exactly what I don't want. Instead he nods and changes the subject.

"I think you and the Hawthorne boy would be good for each other." He nods thoughtfully.

"Oh don't start this again, it's nothing." I sigh.

"Sure….for now." He shrugs.

I roll my eyes, get up and walk towards the door. He starts to speak, I stop but I don't turn around.

"I know he has decisions to make and feelings to work out but just remember, it's the start of a new world we hope. She reminds him of responsibilities and hardship and hunger. He seems to forget some of that when he's with you, I think he can be more free and let himself grow as a person free from the world he used to know….a new start….for everyone….when we get through this war. He will make the right decision when the time comes."

I turn to him "Really, Haymitch, it's just a bit of fun….doesn't mean anything" I tell him honestly and turn and walk out the door.

….

Gale Pov

When I arrive in District two, I'm taken to a small village where I am to be staying with a rebel man and his wife for a few days. He introduces himself as Otho and his wife as Lucia, I shake their hands and they show me where I can put my bag. I ask them if they know where I can find Katniss and they tell me she is most likely in the woods on the outskirts of the village.

My heart is beating at a crazy pace in anticipation as I briskly walk to the direction they pointed me in. I feel like I haven't seen her in months when it's just been a few weeks, but I'm looking forward to that feeling I get when we hunt just the two of us in the woods, where nobody can bother us and we can be free.

When I spot her she is sitting on a log plucking a goose with a pile of birds at her feet. She looks so sad, not like she normally does when she's hunting; it hurts a little because I know she is thinking of Peeta. I sit down next to her without saying a word and start on another bird.

For a while I stay silent hoping she will start the conversation, I feel slightly uncomfortable around her now and I can't place as to why. What's changed? Sure she's changed, I've changed, everybody's changed but can that be all? She's never been the same Katniss that went into the Arena the first time, that's for sure. She thinks of me differently too, thinks I'm cruel and callous for wanting to win the war by any means.

I just get mad when I think of everything that's happened to people I care about, is it so bad to want to stop them? To punish them? To get a little bit of revenge? I know Katniss wants it too but somehow it's okay for her but not me? I know Johanna has had it worse than anyone…is it ok for her to want it too? Yes. But somehow I'm the bad one, she thinks I don't understand because I'm not a 'Victor', they act like it's some secret little club. It angers me, they all act like it…talk down to you, exchange secret looks, patronize you….like Johanna.

Shit…this is not a train of thought I want to follow…time for a subject change.

"Any chance we'll get to eat these?" I ask.

"Yeah, most go to the camp kitchen, but they expect me to give a couple to whomever I'm staying with tonight….for keeping me." She answers.

"Isn't the honour enough?" I joke.

"You'd think, but words gotten out that Mockingjays are hazardous for your health." She says almost deadpan.

I can't even joke around with her anymore, things are defiantly different. She doesn't smile; I always used to be able to get her to smile when we were in the woods. I think the smile is reserved for someone else these days. I bring the conversation to Peeta, I just want to know what's going on in her head but she seems to be either confused or leading me in circles because what she says comes to no conclusion that she has picked either one of us yet.

We continue in a broken, almost strained conversation with large uncomfortable silences. This used to be so easy for us, what happened?

When we return to the woods to get kindling I make the decision. I kiss her. I'm hoping that is will bring back the memories of the woods and us and the way things used to be.

But it doesn't, she seems to be somewhere else. I don't know where but she's not here kissing me….not in mind anyway. It reminds me of Johanna, when she's high on morphling, and barley knows what's real and what's not.

She's probably thinking of him.

I can't compete with him and, at the moment, I'm not sure I even want to anymore, I'm surprised how little it's affected me that she doesn't want to be kissing me or that's she's thinking of someone else when she does. Okay, well I wouldn't go as far to say it doesn't hurt, but there's defiantly something else that I'm feeling and I can't quite place it for now. Things have defiantly changed, and I don't think it will ever go back to the way things were. The whole thing has just left me even more confused.

A/N – Thank you all so much for the reviews, I really appreciate them. Also, thank you to followers and favouriters. You all make my day