Chapter 7- You Stay On Your Side, and Me On Mine
McGee wiped the mashed potatoes from behind his ears while Tony used the shower to wash off all the gook off of him.
"I can't believe that I threw a saltshaker at Ducky!" he said.
"Me neither McGoogle, I didn't think you had it in you," said Tony from the bathroom.
"I caused a food fight, a brawl, a scandal, and…"
"A saltshaker to go lying at thirty miles per hour into Ducky's head."
"Ducky's going to hate me."
"No Ducky won't, he could never hate you," said Tony as he climbed out of the shower.
"Thanks Tony," McGee said genuinely surprised.
"It's Abby you'll want to watch out for."
"What makes you say that?"
"You physically assaulted her two most favorite people in the world with a saltshaker, how do you think she's going to react?"
"It wasn't that bad…was it?"
"You gave Ducky stitches and Gibbs a black eye, if she doesn't kill you Gibbs will."
"I'm so dead," McGee whimpered.
"Yes you are my salt-flinging ex-partner," Tony patted McGee's shoulder.
McGee head sunk further into his hands.
"Abby, my dear, it's not that bad," said Ducky as Abby sewed the gash above the ME's right eye, "It was just an adrenaline infused reaction, an accident."
"McGee sent you flying into Gibbs, he doesn't deserve forgiveness," she said bitterly.
"It was an accident, my dear, that's all," Ducky flinched as she bandaged him up.
"I'll forgive him eventually, just not now," she said placing the band-aid on the ME's head.
"Thank you, my dear," He tried to sound grateful, but he was disappointed that the contact had ended.
"You're very welcome, my darling," she said back, it was a game they had played for years. He'd call her my dear, she'd call him my darling, and they'd share a laugh.
She placed a small kiss on his bandaged wound. Though it was a short but sweet gesture it was enough to turn his legs to jelly.
"Will you two stop playing grab-ass?" said Gibbs as he came out of the bathroom.
"We're not at work, Gibbs, we can play grab-ass as much as we want," Abby reiterated this point by grabbing Ducky's butt. Causing him to go beet red.
"Abby!" he yelped.
"Just proving a point!" she whispered into his ear.
"Yeah, I think it's been made," he was trying to get her out of there before he did something he didn't ant Gibbs to see.
Lucky for him, Abby released his butt, sensing his awkwardness. He was so cute when he was flustered, she couldn't resist doing these little awkward things to see him get so adorable.
"I'll see you later, goodnight Gibbs," she smiled at him; he smiled back.
"Goodnight Abs," he waved at her.
"Goodnight Ducky," she looked into his eyes sincerely.
"Goodnight," he said very solemnly. He's always hated it when she leaves a room; it was like all the beauty went with her. In this case he meant it quite literally, (Looking over to Gibbs' black and blue eye).
She turned to leave, then quickly shot back and placed a tender kiss on his cheek. He could almost feel his heart trying to burst through his chest and keep her from going. She left with a little wave, leaving the two bruised old men to stare at the space she had just occupied.
"You're really in deep!" said Gibbs.
"What do you mean?" said Ducky. He walked over to his side of the bed.
"With Abby, I can practically see the hearts in your eyes."
"How would you know?" asked Ducky defensively.
"I've been married four times, Duck, you sort of know the signs by then," Gibbs gave him a 'duhr' face.
"So what if I am?" said Ducky.
"What are you going to do about it?" asked Gibbs quizzically.
"Nothing, as much as I'd like to, there are certain things that are more important to me," Duck said.
"What?" Gibbs could not believe what Ducky had just said, "Like what?"
"My friendship with her," said Ducky sincerely.
"Okay, you've lost me Duck," Gibbs was so confused.
"I'm not permanent Jethro, she deserves someone who she can grow old with, not catch up to, and she'd realize that eventually."
"Ducky, what are you saying?"
"Say we did become romantically involved, she'd eventually leave me for a younger man, who loves her just as much as I do, and when that day comes you might as well start planning my funeral, cause I'll be dead." Ducky looked down at his hands, sadly.
"At least this way we can stay friends, and I can love her from a distance, without being considered a stalker."
"But you'll be pining for her till you drop dead," said Gibbs.
"There are worse fates, my friend," Ducky shook his head signifying he was done with this conversation. He turned off the light and went to bed. Gibbs followed shortly after, positioning himself so that their backs were to each other.
"Goodnight Duck," he said.
"Goodnight."
McGee came out of the shower. He toweled his head making his wet hair spike up. He changed into his pajama pants and a grey t-shirt. He walked into the sleeping area where Tony had already climbed into bed and was reading a book. 501 Must-See Movies, of course, what else would he read?
McGee walked over to his side of the bed and started to get comfortable.
"Oh no no no no no," said Tony looking up from the book.
"What?" asked McGee.
"We are not sharing he same bed, McGee!" Tony yelled slightly.
"Well where else am I supposed to sleep?"
"There is a floor. Make use of it!" said Tony.
"Oh no, I am not sleeping on the floor Tony, you can just forget it."
"Well then, you're going to have to find somewhere else to sleep because it won't be with me!"
"Tony, shove over!"
"No, I will not, Mctouchy feely!"
"Tony, get over yourself, we're sleeping in the same bed."
"No I'm pretty sure we're not."
McGee climbed into the bed; despite the kicking and slapping he endured from the phobic Tony.
"Well it's too late now because I'm not moving!" McGee crossed his arms defiantly.
"Well, I'm not moving!" Tony pointed at himself, giving McGee the 'obviously' face.
"Then it's too bad for you."
"Just remember McGoo, you stay on your side, and me on mine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine." McGee got comfortable, and turned off the lamp on his side.
Tony finally gave in and stopped reading his book and snuggled down in the bed.
The two kept as big a space between them as they could without falling off the bed.
This was going to be a long night.
