Summary: Please find enclosed the recommendations for commendations, promotions and assignments for the crew of your vessel, the USS Enterprise. If there are any queries about the information below, we will be open to consult from tomorrow morning. Due to the extraordinary length of your mission, you will notice that many are not reassigned to the Enterprise for her next voyage. Assignments have been finalised by the Admiralty as of this morning, although there are some cases in which you may be able to petition for a change if needed.
Notes: Very short but it's an interlude from Jim's point of view rather than a chapter. I hope that this is alright. I tried to make sure that the promotions were in line with Starfleet and Naval structures but I may have made mistakes.
Chapter TextThe apartment was dark. Jim threw his bike keys into the dish by the door and pulled off his boots before he turned on the lights. The light was bright and flooded the whole room with its glow causing him to blink for a moment. He moved into the lounge, throwing his bike jacket onto the sofa before heading straight for the liquor cabinet.
A rather large measure of whiskey in hand, Jim moved back to the couch, his mind roving over the events of the day. It had been stressful. He hadn't thought it would be but in the end he had felt himself becoming the worst kind of person because of it.
The day had started well, then he'd put his foot in it inviting Joanna to the ball with him. He hadn't even thought that Bones wouldn't do his usual and go with Chapel in their little 'fuck everyone, this event sucks' pact, but of course with his daughter there… So he'd started the day feeling guilty as sin and it hadn't been made better through the course of the day.
He'd seen, so, so clearly, how Bones had looked at his little girl. As she'd flitted about excitedly, he'd watched those hazel eyes take in every single movement she made. He'd seen Bones' smile, gentle and kind and just for her.
Jim knew it was stupid to be jealous of Bones' child, but he couldn't convince himself of the same about Jocelyn. When Bones had started to talk to Joanna about her, he could hear the love in the other's voice. He had wanted to believe that Bones was finished with her, that he was emotionally detached from the situation, but the tone the other had used… It had been so full of emotion that Jim had been forced to flee.
He knew Spock had watched him go and he had no idea how to explain his actions without giving himself away. Luckily, Spock had not asked.
Then they'd got back and Joanna had answered her mother's comm and good grief, Jocelyn Treadway was beautiful. She had hazelnut hair that curled luxuriously against her neck, her eyes a warm brown framed by the longest eyelashes Jim had seen. Her lips were full, her cheekbones so high and perfect that she looked like a painting. Her eyes had laughter lines at the corners and she had a mole near her left ear.
The fight that ensued had made Jim itch to do something. He had no way of competing with this woman, he realised. She was female for a start, but also the mother of Bones' child and beautiful, almost perfect. Yet he could help Bones and Joanna out on this one, could prevent her from tearing them both a new one.
He had made Joanna up and pushed her into that room and watched as his world disappeared. She'd held onto her father and Jim had known that it was enough, that it was all over.
He had eaten dinner with them, laughed in all the right places, smiled when Joanna had waved goodbye to him. He had got onto his bike and still kept the smile. Not until he was around the corner had he let it fall.
He'd looked up into the sky and not even been able to see the stars.
"You have transmissions waiting," his computer told him as he put his feet up on the coffee table. Jim sipped the whiskey.
"Transfer them to my PADD," he ordered, digging into his pocket for it. He held it up in front of his face, filtering through the spam and useless press requests to get to the ones that had meaning.
There was one and it was from Starfleet. Jim took two large gulps of the whiskey, gagging slightly as he put the tumbler down on the table. He opened it, forcing himself to scroll down, to not move too quickly, to read every name.
[To:] james. (Captain) [From:] Starfleet Administration [Subject:] Commendations, Promotions and Assignments for Evaluation Dear Captain Kirk, Please find enclosed the recommendations for commendations, promotions and assignments for the crew of your vessel, the USS Enterprise. If there are any queries about the information below, we will be open to consult from tomorrow morning. Due to the extraordinary length of your mission, you will notice that many are not reassigned to the Enterprise for her next voyage. Assignments have been finalised by the Admiralty as of this morning, although there are some cases in which you may be able to petition for a change if needed. Engineering Department Ensign Julian Hargreave – Commendation for bravery – USS Enterprise Ensign Alia Johnson –No commendations –USS PotemkinThe list of Ensigns and lower officers was long and Jim could place a face to every name. Every single goddamn one of them. He could see their faces, injured, laughing, filled with wonder or awe. He refilled his glass, sipping from it as he made his way down the list.
His commanding officers were grouped at the bottom and Jim's hand tightened around the class.
Captain James Tiberius Kirk – Promotion to Commodore – Assignment TBA Commander Spock – To remain First Officer to Commodore Kirk upon request – Assignment TBA Lieutenant Nyota Uhura – Promotion to Lieutenant Commander – Enterprise Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott – Commendation for Services to Starfleet – Enterprise Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu – Promotion to Lieutenant Commander and First Officer – Potemkin Ensign Pawel Chekov – Promotion to Lieutenant – Potemkin Lieutenant Commander Leonard McCoy – Promotion to Commander – Starfleet Academy upon request of transferJim threw the pad across the room, not even caring as he heard the resounding smash that told him it had hit something. He emptied his gas of whiskey, gasping as he did so before he threw that too. A moment later he kicked the coffee table.
He could feel the betrayal inside him, deep and strong and burning, burning hotter than whiskey. He was losing them all. His family, they were going. They were already gone. The assignments were already decided upon. They were scattering them. They had spent years building them, making them the best in the 'fleet and now they were going to send them out across the other ships and Jim was going to be left alone again.
He leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. He could feel tears trying to fight for dominance with the anger but he forced them all down. No, he couldn't think of it this way. He couldn't allow the sadness to overwhelm him. Another family gone, another family moving away, moving on, leaving him behind him.
He dashed to his feet, running for the bathroom. Falling to his knees he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Whiskey and the dinner Bones had cooked swirling away as he leaned over the sink. He needed to pull himself together.
It was not the end of everything.
But Bones…
Bones was staying on Earth. Staying at Starfleet Academy. And Jim would have Spock with him, no matter where he went, but it wouldn't be the same because it wasn't Bones.
And he couldn't say anything. Today had just proved that there was more than Jim in Bones' life. Joanna and Jocelyn and a myriad of other things that Bones had been considering all along, that Jim just had never noticed.
"Enough now, Jim… Enough."
