And welcome to our ground breaking episode!
I'm Michael Bowl and I'll try hard not to over-use the word episodic too much tonight.
And I'm Burger King and I just hope our 900th episode doesn't suck.
WWE Monday Night Flaw Boston, MA August 30th 2010 Commentators: Michael Bowl, Burger King
Here comes Bret "Hit Man" Hart to the ring. Last time he was on here, we had booked him in a wrestling... I mean a sports entertainment match, but we didn't deliver the promised encounter.
Bret: I can barely walk these days much like the Undertaker who was also there with me back on the first episode of Monday Night Flaw. After my divorce and my sky-high debt I was forced to swallow my pride and dignity and forgive Vinnie Mac Daddy and the rest of the WWE for everything that occured to me and my family. Yes, if back in the day WCW had done this the Internet Wrestling Community and the dirt sheet writers would've called Eric Bischoff and others in WCW every dirty name in the book, but no, in WWE all is always forgiven.
Bowl: IT'S KANE! He's here all the way from Wackdown!
Kane: Now that I'm once again feuding with the Undertaker for the 3,000th time, he is finally finished once and for all. Now time for me to begin teasing HBK Shawn Michaels possibly arriving at our 900th episode. Since Taker took out a legend like Michaels I think I'll take you out since you're already crippled I'll finish the job.
BK: Oh my, he has Bret goozled! We've been on longer than Gun Smoke and had more episodes than they had. But then again, we're on the air every week with a new episode and don't take any time off during the year.
Bowl: Of course shows like Days of Our Lives have certainly been on longer and have more episodes than we do.
BK: Same thing with the local news.
Bowl: General Manager Alert!
BK: Yawn! What's it say?
Bowl: Oh, Bret Hart and Undertaker will have a sports entertainment bout.
BK: Oh wow, two crippled old men going at it. Nice! Let's hope this Hitman match will actually happen this time.
(Now time for scenes from our first ever Flaw broadcast.)
Kofi Kingston & Michael McGillicutty v. Kaval & Daniel Bryan v. Alex Riley & The
FYI Days of our Lives aired its 10000th episode on February 21, 2005. ...
GASP!
YAWN! and Riley won.
LayCool (Michelle McCool & Layla) v. Melina & Eve Torres Oh look, it's Lay Cool or Lay Lame the duo that's ripping off TNA's The Beautiful People. The gimmick that Angelina Love and Velvet Sky worked hard to get over. Too bad McCool and Layla aren't as talented as Velvet and Angelina.
Winner via Rollup: Melina & Eve Torres Too bad Melina isn't able to jump to TNA and join the Knock Outs division. Oh, the wannabes challenge Melina to a title unification match at WWE's Night of Chumps Pay-Per-View.
(Another lame flashback with John Xena and New World Nexus.)
New World Nexus promises to do something huge and unforgetable.
(Bob Barker episode clip shown. Ugh!)
Chris Jericho promises if he loses at Night of Chumps he'll leave Raw.
How many times are they going to reboot this angle? Jericho has already been forced off Raw before.
#1 Contender's Match for the Tag Team Titles John "I Fear Melina" Morrison & R-Liar v. "Crapping" Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre
Oh, excellent! The match is a no contest.
Bret Hart v. The Undertaker I know we promised this would be our main event, but we don't keep track around here.
Retcon!
Oh look, it's "Hollywood" Wade Barrett. I guess no match is taking place. Oh, the light goes out.
It's Kane! YAWN! The lights go out again. Didn't EV2.0 and Fortune do this on TNA recently?
Why is WWE copying TNA again?
Oh look, here's the New World Nexus again. And what do you know? No match!
What a surprise.
Jack Swagger v. Evan Bourne
A battle of two guys who are definately not getting held back here in the WWE.
Here comes some schmuck named Alberto Del Rio.
Oh, Swagger wins by copying Kurt Angle.
!
Alberto goes to beat on Bourne.
!
Mark Henry makes the save.
Boy! This was sure worth it.
Oh, here's Friday Night Wackdown's CM Punk and the SES without Serrena.
Instead of wrestling, CM talks. He tricks us into thinking that drunken Stone Cold was here. Hilarius!
The Pig Slow arrives to confront Punk.
The WWE's dorky interviewer interviews Champion Shame-Us.
Shame-Us reminds us he injured Cripple H.
Elimination Tag Match Shame-us, Edge, Randy BOrton, Chris Jericho & John Xena v. "Hollywood" Wade Barret & New World Nexus
Yawn! Jericho purposely gets himself counted out.
Edge purposely gets himself disqualified.
A NWN member actually pins Shame-Us after underhanded tac-tics of course.
John Xena eliminates a NWN member.
Xena makes another one tap out.
Oh my! John Xena actually gets pinned by a NWN member!
Boreton elminates one with the diamond cutter.
Hollywood Wade eliminates Boreton to win the match.
So long everyone! This has been Monday Night Flaw!
