Moon Says: So, while being an awesome person, I'm also not. Sorry for no updates for other things, but I have been inspired by a fellow author to write oneshots for readers. This is for Seele Zeit who is, really, my only reviewer. The two oneshots will be based around her reviews. The first is Anders, and the second is Fenris.
Seele Zeit: Anders is going to be in so much trouble... I can't wait!
UPDATE/July: Okay, so I felt I had waited long enough to post something. I'd been hanging out with my dad for the summer since I haven't really, in my whole life, spent much one on one time with him. Then I started research for a Once Upon a Time essay. Try watching 4 seasons back to back...fun, though. I have started writing a good bit into my last epilogue. So there is that. Anyway, enjoy.
Written: 5 May 2015/ Edited: 23 June 2015
Posted: 26 July 2015
TIMELINE: After last chapter and before the next one-AKA Deep Roads.
The Wolf and the Raven: Intermission-Anders
Anders honestly couldn't understand how things had gone from happy, even if there was death, blood, and fighting for their lives, to almost banishment, resentment, and hate.
No, if he was going to be honest with himself, he did understand. And that is what made it hurt so much worse.
Mora cared about him more than he knew she wanted to. She was afraid to let people into her heart. Anders wasn't stupid nor was he blind. He clearly saw the tension between the Commander, Mora, and Zevran. While he knew that the female assassin didn't want her partner sexually, she still felt so fucking possessive of him.
Anders understood that. When you don't have that many people in your life, the few you do have, you guard them close and do not let them go.
And Mora, despite being of blood with Elissa, Anders saw the tension between them. Sure, they cared for each other, but there was something deeper. Both women saw the other as a threat to their relationship with Zevran. And with Elissa being the leader, she was having a hard time letting someone else have control over anything.
After all, the woman did just end a Blight and kill an Archdemon.
But Mora was with her too.
Despite him leaving the Wardens, which he knew she had a problem with considering her insane honor when it came to duty, Mora had been okay with him being there. In fact, Anders could have sworn he saw some relief in her eyes when they met again in Darktown. To see a familiar face, especially one she trusted with her life made her a bit happy.
Or maybe Anders was deluding himself on that front.
When he saw Mora again, Anders felt like it was a sign from the Maker. Maybe despite what he did with Justice, he was still worthy to have love. And Anders was fond of Mora and knew it would take nothing from him to love her like a lover. He wasn't feeling that for her now because she had made it clear before that there were things separating them.
Her master for one, especially with the Elf trying to distract Anders from his charge by trying to get into his pants. Which as weird…usually overprotective brothers or parents threatened or discouraged such attention but to be threatened and offered sex from someone else? That was something…quite different.
Not that Anders had a problem with fucking with males, but Anders sure as hell wasn't going anywhere near Zevran. Besides the fact he wanted Mora, he knew Mora didn't like people screwing her Master. And Elissa, his Commander, was with the Elf. Despite Elissa being freaking married to Alistair, the fucking King, she had another in her bed, though the two were very discreet.
But she made no effort to stop Zevran from leaving her bed, though sometimes Anders caught a few looks from Elissa that proved she didn't like it. Mora just joked about it, but she didn't like sharing even if she wasn't with the elf sexually.
There was just something about Mora and wanting to collect people. Shiny and Sparkly, she called some people. Anders didn't understand this, but it was amusing none the less.
Nathanial was one of those , and it was not amusing—except when she was denying him, of course.
Anders knew they had a history together, but he could see the distance she put between them, and it gave Anders hope. It gave him a sick pleasure to see the archer pine after the assassin and she ignored him.
Anders sighed as he laid in his bed in his Darktown Clinic. Sleep would not come due to the dual-haired dagger wielding woman who was so close to stealing his heart. Well, the better rogue saying would be that she was so close to stabbing him in the heart.
The mage clearly remembered the first time they met, and damn it, if a part of him didn't want that again. That easy respect, comradely, and fun tilt to their interactions. Most of all, the trust and positive emotions between them.
~ANDERS~
Anders turned around toward the group of four that had come rushing in. As he turned away from the demon he just flamed to death, he shook his hands making a few noises due to the heat before he remembered the dead Templars on the floor.
His blue eyes went to the woman who seemed the most at ease surrounded by death. "This isn't what it looks like," he tried to assure her, and when she raised an eyebrow at him and chuckled silently, Anders titled his head to both sides, showing she was right. "Okay, maybe it is. But I didn't kill them. They wouldn't let me use magic and died by the onslaught of demons and Darkspawn. It was only after they died that I defended myself. You see I don't have a staff…"
Anders followed the eyes of the only male, an elf, and saw his staff on the other side of the room. "Oh, there it is. I had wondered where it went. You see, I was kind of asleep before this shit started. When these bastards started dying, I woke up. I didn't even try looking for my staff in the chaos."
The youngest looking woman started making stupid comments about him being dangerous and all that shit, but the red and black haired woman who had found the situation amusing told her to shut up.
"Does it really matter? We are overrun with Darkspawn. I say with let him join us. Besides, what he said when he noticed us…I think I'm going to remember that forever. Such a classic response, I want to keep him." she stopped and giggled.
The male Elf chuckled along with her. "I like him, so, my dear, you get to keep him. We should not to stay here and argue, nor is it a good idea to lock him up or not use him. He will die if we lock him away, besides, a mage is a handy thing in a battle with Darkspawn."
The woman who had been silent the entire time finally spoke. "You can keep him cousin, and you both are right. We could use the help. A mage would be a good addition to our little rescue squad."
The woman who had argued against him accepted the orders, but it was clear she did not like them.
The woman who 'got to keep him' giggled and clapped to show her enjoyment. "Yay! Let's go kill some more."
The utter look of joy, excitement, and childishness on her face would stay with Anders forever. Maybe it was the almost impossibility of her that made him want to get to know her. How could someone be so happy, so childish and yet be so bloodthirsty and Dark? More than that, how could someone be so Light and Dark at the same time? It intrigued him, and everything about her drew him in.
As Anders journeyed deeper into the Keep with her, watching the total confliction of her, he knew that he would follow her into hell itself if she asked.
After getting to know her a bit, he knew she never would ask. Instead, she'd be too busy trying to get into hell to worry about who'd go with her or who was following her.
She was innocent and corrupted.
As he watched her behead a talking Darkspawn, after cutting it up so much it probably didn't have any blood left in its body, he found himself completely enchanted with her.
Though, he did wonder if his interest in her would go bad.
Maybe the Maker would smile on him once more. He just hoped it wasn't false hope like he had gotten when he escaped seven times only to be returned to that damnable tower.
~ANDERS~
Anders had kept his distance from her, but he still wanted to be her friend. He couldn't have her as a lover, then he'd have her as a friend. Either way, just being near her was enough.
It was after he had returned with Elissa from the swamp that he had one of the most intense and enlightening conversations that he'd ever had with another mage before. It was nice to finally meet someone who actually knew shit about the Fade and Spirits than those prejudiced religious fools.
"So a Spirit came back with you?" Mora murmured as she thought deeply about this.
Anders noticed that her next words were not aimed at him or anyone. She tended to think out loud sometimes when something puzzled her.
"How did this happen? You can't just bring Spirits back from the Fade. There are so many things that needed to be taken into account. The Veil had to be thin. Just like before, but has it gotten that bad since then? No, it strengthened after the Sealing…but it doesn't matter how it happened, it only matters that it did happen. And we need to do something about it."
"What can you do about it? Why can't he stay?" Anders was quite curious.
Mora snapped her head to her companion and thought for a second about saying anything at all, before she just shrugged and decided to tell her fellow mage. "There was once a time where Spirits could cross the Veil and interact with the us. However, it was very much monitored. No Spirit came through by accident, and if they did, they were evaluated to see if they could handle being on this side. In the Fade…everything is much simpler and sometimes more intense. Most of the Spirits cannot handle being on this side of the Veil, so if they were accepted and chosen to come over, certain…things were prepared before they came over. Most who could not handle the way this world is, were rejected and weren't allowed to come over. And if they did slip through, they were killed."
"Why were they killed?" Anders was concerned now. Why kill a Spirit just because it came over? Aren't Spirits supposed to be good?
Mora sighed as she saw that Anders just didn't understand. "Because they became corrupted. Spirits are emotions, and they feel deeper than humans, Elves, or any race can. It is easy to corrupt a Spirit. They become perverted when their purpose is twisted. Take Justice for example. He cannot handle this world because of the kind of uncompromising Spirit he is. He will see injustices and try and make them right, but he won't be able to. There are just too many and some shit is just never going to be overcome. Look at how Elves are treated everywhere. There is nothing Justice can do but wage war, and that will just kill thousands of people and probably won't solve shit but make it worse. Justice is going to go insane because he can't fulfill the purpose he was born with. It will destory him, and something will take his place that won't be him anymore."
Anders did not take her words lightly. With the Chantry, they took no chances when it came to threats against them. It was why mages were held on such a tight lease. They were too afraid of losing power, of the world becoming another Imperium.
Something in her words caught his attention though. "There were Spirits that were allowed to come through the Veil?"
Mora nodded conspiratorially. "The strongest were the ones that were allowed to come over. They spent so much time watching the world that they knew they were needed. In fact, there are some journals I've read of the old empire of the Elves that said that the Creator sent his strongest Spirits as leaders among the people. That were the ones that could balance their gifts, their purpose, and channel them into helping the People without losing themselves. Although, it is said," she frowned for a moment as she remembered, "that a few of them went insane."
"Did that not mean they became tainted, corrupted? "
"Some say that Fen'Harel sealed away his fellow Spirits because they were hurting the People."
Anders' eyes went wide as he read between the lines. "Are you saying that the Gods of the Elves were Spirits?"
Mora shrugged. "My journals believe so. And before you ask," she said as she saw the gleam in his eyes, "the journals are those of someone that is closely related to Falon'Din. Of course they could be records written by the 'goddess' herself, but—"
"Goddess? You must have it mixed up with another, because Falon'Din, the Friend of the Dead, was a male." Anders corrected her, but by the amused look in her eyes, he had a feeling that he was wrong.
"There is a lot of shit that the Dalish believe that are not true. It is why I detest them so. I've tried to correct their thinking, but they refuse to believe me. Fools. That particular "goddess" was one that misrepresented a lot. But going back to your question, the Spirits had to be strong willed and willing to bend but not break. If you believe that the "gods" were a special kind of Spirit, then there was one of Justice and one of Vengeance. But," Mora interrupted his attempt at interruption, "this one of Vengeance was a Spirit of Vengeance not one that became so due to being corrupted."
Mora's eyes seemed to stare off as if she wasn't really looking at what she was turned toward but lost in thought. "While they did not become Demons, if the "gods" were Spirits, they were still hurting the People too much and had to be stopped. They were becoming tainted by the world that wasn't the Fade. Precautions had been taken so they would not become Demons, but they were close to becoming so."
Mora shook her head, Anders noticed her eyes flashed black and gold for a second before becoming their original green. Or had he imagined it? Why would her eyes change color?
"Promise me, Anders, that you will watch him. Do not let him become tainted. If you have to, you need to kill the body he inhabits. Do this, please, Anders. If you don't, I'm afraid of the damage that a perverted Justice, no, Vengeance would do to the world. We just survived the Blight…the world can't handle much more. Killing him and sending him back to the Fade or the Void will save him. Deep down, Justice would rather cease to exist than be corrupted. That is what all Spirits fear, Anders, corruption and becoming someone you aren't."
"So they aren't that different from us," Anders concluded. "If only those Circle fools could know half of what you know." Anders paused for a second as his words caught up with his mind. "How do you know?"
There was something in her eyes that told him she knew his first statement quite intimately. "No, Anders, they really aren't. And as for how I do, that is something you are going to have to find out," she winked at him and skipped over to her Master and began to harass the male elf.
~Anders~
Yeah, so he knew exactly what he had done wrong. She had wanted to protect everyone. Mora might hide it, but Anders could see that despite her quick reaching for her daggers and easy way about death (giving or accepting it), he knew she cared about people. He had seen her often enough stop and help people without asking for anything in return.
What always confused him about that was the resigned look in her eyes. As if she had no choice.
He did notice her paying extra attention to that crazy Dalish Elf. Once she had heard the story about her clan had been killed, and by whom, Anders noticed her even more aggressive assault against the Darkspawn. He had often wondered if that was the reason she refused to listen to the "Father" Darkspawn. Elissa had told the tale after the battle. Before the Emissary could finish his proposal, Mora had attacked the damn thing.
Anders regretted hurting her, even more so when he had gone back on his word. He had promised to protect Justice, and for Mora, that meant killing him before he could be corrupted or making sure he faded. At the time, it had seemed as if he was protecting Justice, keeping him alive instead of fading into nothing.
But the more time he spent bonded with the Spirit, the more Mora's words became true.
Justice could not handle what was going on around him, and both of them were paying for it.
Mora had only been wanting to look at for Anders, to protect him. He wondered if she had told him about Spirits and made him promise her because she knew he would do this.
In the end, it always came down to Mora wanting to protect those around her. It was why she was denying her magic.
"Damn it!" Anders groaned as he tossed and turned in his makeshift cot.
Why couldn't anything ever be easy for him? Why couldn't he keep his friend? Why did Spirits and magic have to get in the way?
In that moment, Anders decided that he was going to talk with her, going to try and fix the damage that had been done between them. Anders would do it whether or not he could be more than friends with her.
But first, he had a problem. An elf.
Why is it always a bloody elf standing in my way? An elf that would not hesitate to run me through with a blood-stained blade. Oh Mora, just what do you attract to you?
