As always, I want to thank my readers and reviewers for their time and words. I'm having a blast writing this story, and it's a pleasure to share it with all of you. Now, onto the show!
"I have lost the immortal part of myself, and what remains is bestial." - William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
Darkness Calls: Chapter 7
Raven had only ever entered two human minds: Robin's and her own. Raven's mind was sharply divided by years of training and meditation, allowing each of her repressed emotions to live in their ideal setting, a private realm where their expression didn't result in catastrophic explosions. Robin's mind was a frenzied collage of memories, a movie reel put through a paper-shredder and thrown around out of sequence. Beast Boy's mind was nothing like what Raven expected: she expected messy, she expected animalistic, she expected colorful and unbearably random. The pristine metal hallways threw her off balance.
The empath started down the glistening corridors and quickly discovered that Beast Boy's mind was a maze. Bland white light bombarded her senses, and her feet kicked up clouds of dust with each step. The carpet underneath the filth was a rich pine green. Raven took a deep breath in anticipation of the fresh scent and got only stale air.
Doors were peppered throughout the maze, barely visible thresholds with tiny handles. Each door bore a light engraving – a set of dates, a name, a place. Raven passed by the doors without looking behind them; she was intruding enough without snooping through Beast Boy's inner-most thoughts.
The empath opened her mouth and called out for Beast Boy, but she got no response. The halls didn't echo. Raven looked around her, but Slade was nowhere to be seen. She knew he was here somewhere, running unchecked through Beast Boy's head. The sorceress was positive the masked villain would not respect her friend's privacy, and the thought made her angry. A faint glimmering of the assassin's plans flashed before her eyes, but it slipped away before Raven could try to understand it, running off to vanish elusively in the maze.
Raven lost track of how long she wandered the corridors of Beast Boy's mind. She passed a door without an engraving, and this more than anything else piqued the demoness' curiosity. The door had no markings, no indication of what lay behind it, and no handle. There was no way to open it. Raven closed her eyes and called upon her powers. With a quick step, a portal opened, and Raven was inside.
She was in a large room with a high-domed ceiling. The floor here was free of dust and the carpet was scarred by monstrous claws. Raven's breath caught in her throat. She knew where she was, and it was a bad place to be. Her eyes darted around the room, and the empath flinched at the large dents left in the walls. She was in a prison cell, and the prisoner regularly pounded against the walls and floor. A black figure was huddled in the corner furthest from the door, and Raven paled when she recognized it as the shade that possessed Beast Boy. The chaotic harbinger had been reduced to the size of a teddy bear and was shaking like a leaf.
A low growl sounded from Raven's right, and she slowly glanced in The Beast's direction. It was a hulking monster of green fur, and its predatory eyes were following Raven's every twitch. The animal was resting on its haunches, its powerful jaws open slightly, a crimson tongue poking into the air from between large fangs. It was larger and hairy than Raven remembered, but there could be no mistaking Beast Boy's most primal self. The changeling locked the shade in with his untamed self, and The Beast won. Now it rested contentedly on its haunches with its arms slightly bent, eyeing Raven with an animalistic hunger while the phallic organ protruding from between its legs began to stir. The sorceress was disgusted and afraid, she wanted to tear her eyes away and run back into the hall, but she found herself oddly hypnotized by the blatant display of lust and virility.
Beast Boy never looked at her that way. Raven knew better than most that a divided mind could be so sharply divided as to hold completely different opinions and feelings, but one thought stuck in her head: The Beast obviously lusted after her. Beast Boy could nurse the same thoughts and emotions. The empath wasn't sure what she thought about that possibility, and she forced the thoughts away. They were unimportant anyway. Even if she wanted to, she could never return such feelings.
Pain shot through Raven's fingers as if she'd been stung. She looked down at the slender appendages and remembered tracing them along Starfire's skin. She could feel the texture of her friend's stitches, vivid memories from what felt like a lifetime ago. The last lesson Starfire ever taught Raven came unbidden to her mind. She could feel now. Trigon had no power over her. As if sensing her inner turmoil, The Beast shifted, its large and lean body stretching languidly and allowing the impressive display between its legs to hang free.
Raven shook her head. This was wrong on so many levels. Beast Boy and The Beast were separate beings, and Beast Boy separated himself from this primal creature because it was dangerous. The Beast roared as Raven turned her back, and the sorceress broke into a run. She could hear the carnal predator thundering behind her, she could imagine the warmth of its breath at the back of her neck. Raven lunged for the doorway and phased through it. Once she was outside, Raven glanced at the door. She could hear Beast Boy's animalistic half hammering away at the barrier.
A deep chuckle drifted to Raven's ears, and the gasping demoness glanced up. Slade was walking toward her, his arms swinging freely, his feet barely disturbing the dust on the floor as he passed, a phantom, through the maze of Beast Boy's mind.
"I take it both creatures were in there?" Slade asked casually. Raven gulped.
"The shade won't be a problem," she said.
Slade nodded as if he'd anticipated the answer. Raven slowly got to her feet. The masked man brushed past Raven without glancing at her. He stood before the unmarked door and cocked his head, listening to the muffled pounding from within.
"I had hoped to see for myself," the assassin mused, reaching out to wistfully touch the door. "I've seen the news coverage, and I got a tiny glimpse of it at the tower but…"
Raven grabbed Slade's shoulders and spun him around. She slammed her palms against Slade's chest, forcing the man against the door. Raven glared dangerously into Slade's lonely gray eye. He looked back at her, unfazed.
"Don't you dare! Whatever you're planning, leave that thing out of it. It's dangerous. Beast Boy keeps it locked up for a reason."
With a small feint and lightening reflexes, Slade freed himself from Raven's hold and turned the tables: she cried out as her back slammed against the pristine metal and quickly choked on the outcry when Slade's knee crashed into her stomach. As Raven struggled to draw breath, the armored psychopath casually grabbed her throat and hoisted her from her feet.
"My dear child, you should know by now that you're in no position to give me orders." Raven kicked out with her legs, but Slade used his free arm to bat away her strikes as if they were flies. The man's eye bore into Raven, and his grip tightened around her pale neck.
"Even if I've managed, despite the situation your carelessness put us in, to devise some nefarious plot… there's nothing you can do to stop me. The world is falling apart at the seams, Raven. Starfire is lost – you know that, no matter how guilty Robin's words have made you feel or how many false hopes you've indulged in. Your friend is gone. Forever. Robin will try to save her, he'll try harder than he's ever tried at anything, but he will fail; Starfire will murder him; she will rip his body apart even as he seeks to revive in her the gentle nature that made her easy prey to begin with." Raven was beginning to feel light-headed, but Slade's words cut through the fog in her mind and drew a picture far too clear for her liking.
"Without a way to recharge, Cyborg will eventually run out of power. Without electricity to sustain him, it won't be long before he's defunct and dead. You know he's been the team's anchor ever since this madness started. We've both seen it. He alone still has the moral code and objectivity needed to make the right choice despite hard choices. For whatever reason, Chaos hasn't been able to touch him. But Cyborg's time is limited, bleeding slowly away as his battery is drained for the last time. When that happens, it's just going to leave you, Beast Boy, and me. The three of us need to work together, and we need Beast Boy's full arsenal. The fact that this beast within him is dangerous is the fact that makes it useful."
Raven felt weak. Oxygen-deprivation and the toxic creep of Slade's words were making it hard for her to think. Raven just wanted to sleep. She didn't even realize how Slade had prematurely killed Cyborg and Robin; in her mind, only Slade, Beast Boy, and she remained. Then the real world came crashing back to Raven, effectively shredding Slade's fiction.
With a shrill cry, ebony magic erupted from the sorceress, catching Slade in the chest and throwing him down the hall. The assassin grunted and bounced as he flew away. Raven drew a shuddering breath and closed her eyes. Slade's fiction felt so real. She shivered. Robin had been engaged in a psychological war of attrition with Slade for years now. The brutal cunning of Slade's attacks gave Raven sudden insight into what her leader regularly endured. It was no wonder the Boy Wonder acted so rashly around the man.
Slade picked himself up with dignity, brushing dust from his armor. For a moment, his steely eye locked on Raven. He nodded, imperceptible, a trick of the bland white light that radiated from the walls in Beast Boy's mind, but Raven felt as if her enemy had made a small concession, though what he was conceding to was lost on her.
"I have little interest in the inner workings of Beast Boy's mind, Raven, and I'm sure you share my feelings. We should be going. Now." Slade started down the hall, and Raven followed him. Logically, the sorceress knew there was no earthly way for Slade to know his way through the maze, but the command aura he radiated demanded obedience and servitude. Raven didn't have the energy to resist. Robin had the same presence about him, something vague and ephemeral that designated him a leader. When Robin spoke, people listened. When Robin acted, people followed. It was the same with Slade, but there was a difference between the two that was not lost on Raven.
She followed Robin because she trusted him, believed in him, and loved him.
She followed Slade because she was terrified of him. None of her past interactions with the masked villain prepared Raven fully for the truth of the psychopath. She still wasn't ready for it, even as her mind was consumed by the poison he'd planted in it.
Slade marched ahead of Raven, pausing now and again to read an engraving on a door. The assassin would nod to himself and head out again with new purpose, as if he'd been lost and stumbled upon a sign that pointed him toward more familiar territory. Raven trailed behind him, reading the engravings as she passed.
Raven.
She could feel traces of Beast Boy around the door. The fun-loving changeling spent a lot of time thinking about her, not altogether surprising considering they'd lived together for years. Her hand brushed against the handle before Raven knew she'd reached for it. Catching herself, the empath pulled back sharply. She couldn't invade. If Beast Boy wanted her to know his thoughts about her, he'd tell her. She needed to respect his privacy.
The demoness turned away from the door and jumped. Slade had stopped and was staring straight at her. The man's horrifying copper and ebony visage was two feet from her.
"It's tempting, isn't it, Raven?" Slade whispered seductively. "You have so much power, even you don't know the full extent of your abilities. And there's a hunger in you. I can see it. I can feel it. I can taste it. A part of you longs to use that power, wants to have control. Beast Boy's entire mind is laid bare before you. You could take whatever you wanted from it. You could take whatever you wanted from any human mind."
Raven's eyes narrowed. "Don't test me, Slade, or I might give in to that temptation."
He chuckled. It was a dry, dead sound that filled Raven with dread. "That sounded like a threat, and not a very good one. But tell me, where was the denial?"
She felt as if she'd been kicked in the stomach. Raven wanted to gag, but the physical reactions that came with her desire were lacking. Slade was right. Again. She should have denied it; she should have said that there was nothing in her that wanted to abuse her abilities. She should have lied, and in so doing, denied that a part of her was a demon. Evil. She did sometimes feel the urge to reach out for the ultimate power Slade whispered about, but it was a dangerous desire, and it belonged to an immoral creature.
Raven leaned against the wall and sagged down to the floor. Slade watched her progress dispassionately, his deadly gray eye following her to the carpet. A flurry of dust engulfed her when Raven hit the floor. Slade moved toward her, she could hear the light steps of his steel-toed boots. The armored sociopath knelt down to her, reached out, and cupped her chin in his forceful hand. Like everything else about him, his hand felt like it was made of steel. Against her will, Raven was forced to meet Slade's gaze.
"You can no longer hide from what you are," he hissed. "Daddy's little girl is all grown up. Your father has been defeated, but you are still here, and part of you can set things right. The demon inside you knows death, Raven. It knows chaos, but it can also command it. Control it. Create it. As long as you cling to the decrepit ethics and morals that make you a "hero," people will die. People will suffer. You and you alone can save the world from this madness, but you cannot do it as a Titan."
Raven glared at Slade before spitting into his masked face. She didn't see the man's free hand coming, but his blow sent her reeling. The empath tried to push Slade away, but the assassin simply tackled her, rolling across the carpet with her and stopping once his knee was wedged into her stomach. He bore down into Raven's gut hard; the sharp bite of his armor made her wince. Both her arms were trapped, and Slade's face was only a few inches from hers.
"Get off me!" she shouted, struggling against his hold.
"Not until you open your eyes."
"My eyes are open! I've seen what Seth did."
"But you haven't accepted it. Every time you turn a corner, you hope that the world will have righted itself. Every time you turn a corner, you hope you'll wake up. Every time you turn a corner, you're disappointed."
"I know what I see and feel!" Raven tried to buck Slade off her, but the man's muscular frame only shifted. "I've accepted everything I've seen. I know what we're dealing with just as well as you do!"
"Then why don't you act like it? Why do you hesitate to ensure your survival?" Slade snapped. Raven increased her struggling, kicking out with her legs. Slade didn't move. White energy flared to life in Raven's eyes, and the empath opened her mouth.
"Azarath Metrion Zin–" Slade slapped a hand over her mouth, cutting off the incantation. Without thinking, Raven bit into the assassin's hand. At first there was nothing but a dull ache in her teeth, but then the powerful molars of her demon heritage met the metal. Raven tasted blood, and she bit down harder, willing herself to cut straight through Slade's hand. The assassin shouted and jerked away.
"BEAST BOY!"
The cry flew from Raven's lips on instinct, and she felt a sudden jerk travel through her spine, as if an invisible hand had reached into her head and tried to remove the bone. She felt concrete under her and could see red light flickering across the walls. The demoness sat up and looked around, startled. Slade was lying prone on the ground, a massive green Grizzly bearing down upon him, one of its massive paws planted on his armored chest. The bear growled and shifted, moving its weight around and forcing the air from Slade's lungs.
Raven watched, stunned. She hadn't found a way out of Beast Boy's head; he'd found a way to get her out. Slade was gasping on the floor while Beast Boy pressed down on him. Raven opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She wasn't sure what she wanted anymore. Stopping what was about to happen would be the right thing to do; doing nothing was the smart thing to do. Beast Boy and Robin were right: Slade was too crafty a puppeteer to ever play as another's marionette; he was a chess grandmaster who created and used pawns, never served as one.
"Beast Boy," Raven whispered. The faint sound caused the Grizzly bear to turn its head in her direction. Raven gazed at her friend. He was such a strong person, such a good person, and by some strange chance they'd become friends and grown to care about each other. He'd kill Slade in a heartbeat if she said the word. The empath blinked as her vision began to blur, and tears began to blaze trails down the milky contours of her face. The bear turned back to its prey, having seen something in Raven that communicated what she could not bring herself to say.
Slade needed to die.
"Don't!" Raven shouted as Beast Boy lowered his open jaws. Her voice did not act alone. The sorceress turned to see Cyborg coming forward, his sonic cannon armed and ready.
"B, get off him. He's not worth this. Think about what you're doing."
The Grizzly paused and slowly released Slade. The bear began to shift and morph, shrinking in size and transforming in stature until Beast Boy had taken its place. The green boy blinked and threw a bewildered glance to Raven. She nodded.
"Rae, what just happened? I heard you call me, I got Slade off you, and then I thought… I've never wanted to do that before. But I saw the way you were looking at me, and I knew he was plotting something all along and…" A shudder passed through the changeling. "That wasn't me. I'm not like that. I would never do that."
Raven wanted to shut out her friend's voice. He was saying everything she was thinking, and the dual assault was wearing her down. They weren't murderers. Even Robin would never kill Slade on purpose. Raven felt like she was losing herself, but she couldn't retrace her steps and pick up the pieces. Cyborg threw a distasteful look at Slade before crossing to his friends. His sonic cannon withdrew silently.
"What's gotten into you two?" the metallic Titan demanded. "You're acting–"
"Like monsters," Beast Boy supplied, carefully examining his feet. Slade quietly got off the floor and slunk into the shadows. Raven distantly registered his departure, but the demoness couldn't bring herself to care. She looked around at the run-down treatment plant. Everything led up to this – this dripping world of madness, grief, despair, and moral decay. She barely told Beast Boy to stop in time to prevent him from doing something unforgivable. If Cyborg hadn't said anything and she'd waited just a few seconds longer, by inaction, Raven would have turned Beast Boy into a murderer.
"Where's Robin?" she asked. Cyborg and Beast Boy traded quizzical looks before looking around themselves, just to be sure that their leader wasn't in the room. When the two boys had unanimously decided that Robin was nowhere to be found, the panic set in.
"Shit," Cyborg whispered, lifting his arm to his face and activating his communicator. "Rob, where are you?" There was no answer. Raven swallowed past a lump in her throat.
"Robin will try to save her, he'll try harder than he's ever tried at anything, but he will fail; Starfire will murder him; she will rip his body apart even as he seeks to revive in her the gentle nature that made her easy prey to begin with."
Slade's words drifted through Raven's head and caused the hairs on her neck to stand on end. The empath reached over and grabbed Beast Boy's communicator, running a sweep for Robin's frequency. He was miles away, following a tracer he'd no doubt planted on Starfire during their fight. The Boy Wonder always thought ahead.
"Damn it, Robin, don't do anything stupid! We need you," Raven snapped into the communicator. The head-strong acrobat didn't respond, but Raven could imagine his response.
"Starfire needs me too," he would say. "She needs all of us." That's what the Boy Wonder would say, and under normal circumstances, he would be right. But nothing was normal anymore; so instead, there was nothing but silence. Cyborg cursed colorfully and glanced at Raven and Beast Boy.
"You two stay here… to protect the survivors," he said before running out into the city. He didn't trust her or Beast Boy at the moment. Raven didn't blame him: she didn't trust herself at the moment either.
ooooo
Raven finished checking on the survivors and walked back out of the basement. Her feet were drenched, and the musk of impotable water hung around her like a noxious perfume. The demoness sighed once she was out of the cement enclosure. It wouldn't be long before the survivors in the basement lost their minds to a different strain of madness: their boredom and fear were palpable. Raven knew Slade had left the plant, but whether to follow Cyborg to Robin or to pursue some other task essential to his machinations, the demoness couldn't say.
The assassin's absence relieved Raven of a great burden. The assassin's absence filled her with dread. Raven shook the thoughts away. Inconsistencies were becoming common-place in the empath's head, and her thoughts were gradually losing both their objectivity and their clarity. Metal creaked above her, and the sorceress glanced up, surrounding her hands in obsidian magic as she did. Beast Boy was perched on one of the pipes, his lithe frame pressed tightly against a support beam. Raven relaxed and rose into the air. She took a seat next to the changeling.
Beast Boy didn't look at her once she landed, but after a few moments, the green elf reached out with his arm and pulled Raven into a one-armed hug. She was shocked by the physical contact but didn't fight it. As much as Raven hated to admit it, she wanted to have some physical contact. What had happened earlier still haunted her. The brief physical contact reminded her that Beast Boy had experienced the exact same thing she had and been just as scared by it. The empath closed her eyes and leaned into Beast Boy's warmth, nestling against the boy until she found a comfortable spot on his shoulder to use as a pillow.
Never in her whole life had Raven felt so unbelievably lost. With Trigon, she'd known what to expect. She knew her father's coming would herald her death and the death of all things. This world had no script. Raven didn't know what to expect, but she didn't like where things seemed to be heading. Beast Boy's hand started to gently stroke Raven's hair, and the sorceress sighed contently. He obviously needed the physical reassurance too.
Somehow Raven found her thoughts travelling to her encounter with The Beast. She didn't know what to think about the possibility of Beast Boy and her. He was nice. He was cute. He was loud. He was always bothering her. He was smart. He was funny (when he wasn't trying too hard). He was her friend, her family. Raven had a hard time seeing him as more, but her emotions lingered on The Beast's well-endowed nature and wondered, briefly, causing blood to rush to her pale cheeks, if Beast Boy was similarly blessed.
"Rae," Beast Boy whispered after what felt like hours. He stopped stroking her hair as he spoke, and the empath's scalp suddenly felt cold without his touch. "This is really uncomfortable. Can we get down from here?"
A portal opened at a command from Raven, and both distraught teenagers sunk into it. The portal opened on the floor of the treatment plant, and Raven nestled deeper into Beast Boy's warmth. It felt good to be in his arms, she wouldn't bother denying that. The lean muscles were firm and full of pent-up energy. The changeling lowered himself to the floor so he was lying on his back, and Raven unconsciously followed him to the earth. Beast Boy's arms encircled her waist, and Raven became aware of a potent emotion pouring from her friend: a lust that mirrored her own thoughts. It hammered against Raven's mind and made her feel dizzy with its sheer ferocity.
"Stop it," she mumbled into his shoulder. She didn't want to move.
"Stop what?" Beast Boy asked.
"You're only feeling this way because you're afraid and don't want to be alone."
"You're wrong."
"No. I'm not," Raven said. "Under normal circumstances, you'd never be interested in me." Beast Boy's hold around her waist tightened, and Raven sighed at the warmth that cascaded from his limbs.
"Let's pretend you're right – which you're not," Beast Boy said after a while. "Let's say that you know what you're talking about, and I'm only feeling this way because of our situation. I'm depressed and afraid and don't want to be alone. Do you?"
"No," Raven whispered, her eyes still closed. She was so comfortable, she felt so needed; for the first time since Raven woke up from her face-off with Seth, she knew exactly what she wanted. "But what you're talking about–"
Beast Boy interrupted her. "How can you know what I'm talking about? I don't even know what I'm talking about, Raven. Listen. We're friends. I trust you with my life. I'm not saying I love you. I'm not saying we should date – look around: what would be the point?" Raven could feel years of emotional resolve crumbling away. Beast Boy was emitting so much sincerity, so much nervousness, so much fear, so much lust. The deluge of emotions washed over Raven, mingled with her secret desires, and spirited away her inhibitions.
"What I'm saying," Beast Boy continued, "is that I don't want to feel alone right now. I don't want to face this madness. I want to forget, Rae."
The demoness lifted her head and opened her eyes. Acting on impulse, she leaned forward and captured Beast Boy's lips. It was not a gentle first kiss. Rather it was a kiss filled with the demand that he stop talking. Raven's lips did not flutter against Beast Boy's in feeble flirtation nor did she probe against his mouth by way of asking permission; the empath barged into Beast Boy's mouth, causing a flood of surprise to spill from the changeling. She drank in the emotion, backing out long enough to bite his lower lip (perhaps harder than she meant to, for she drew blood) before their tongues engaged in another fierce bout.
Raven rolled on top of Beast Boy and broke the kiss, breathing deeply. She gazed hungrily into the green boy's eyes, and he stared back at her, pupils dilated. Black energy was causing the pipes above them to rattle. One of Beast Boy's hands found purchase on Raven's left breast and started to gently knead the firm flesh through her leotard.
She wasn't prepared for the physical sensation and growled low in her throat. She could feel her body reacting to Beast Boy's touch, preparing her for the next step as her excitement mounted. She moaned louder as her right breast began to receive the same treatment. Pleasure pulsed through Raven's body, and she lowered her mouth to Beast Boy's neck, kissing and sucking on the green flesh. She nibbled on Beast Boy's left earlobe and gasped as she felt his length press against her thigh. Black energy had consumed the building, but none of the overhanging pipes did more than rattle a feeble applause for the passionate performance unfolding for their voyeuristic pleasure.
She was actually doing this. Raven had never even kissed a boy before a few minutes ago, and now she was preparing for the ultimate physical and emotional coupling. The inhibitions she held so dear for so many years failed to break through the lust-induced fog. Nothing seemed to matter but the present: the feeling of Beast Boy's hands on her body, the heat of his masculinity as it tried desperately to break free of its physical confines, her overpowering desire to hear Beast Boy cry out as she was.
Raven caught Beast Boy's lips for another kiss, bruising the sensitive flesh in her conquest. Her hands trailed down the changeling's body, stopping to fumble awkwardly with his belt. The metal fell away with a gentle click. She started tugging at the bottom of Beast Boy's uniform, desperate to finish these trivial proceedings.
Her leotard slipped from her shoulders, and Raven realized Beast Boy had been trying to remove the fabric. When the cool air touched her skin, Raven's nipples hardened even more, though she hadn't thought that possible. She wanted to be touched, and she grabbed the back of Beast Boy's head, struggling with his pants with her free hand. The green boy eagerly sucked a nipple into his mouth. Raven closed her eyes as the sensuous pleasure of Beast Boy's suckling flowed through her. The sensation changed as Beast Boy switched from long, gentle pulls to frantic nibbling.
Raven gasped and pushed his head away. That was too much teasing. She needed Beast Boy – all of him. The sorceress jerked the changeling's pants down and grabbed for his blood-engorged organ. Her fingers closed around his concealed girth, and Beast Boy yelped as if in pain. Raven's empathetic powers told her otherwise. She began to massage Beast Boy through his boxers, marveling at the feel of him under her nimble fingers.
"Have you ever done anything like this before?" Beast Boy asked as Raven began to pull at his boxers. She smirked at her delirious friend.
"Emotions, remember?"
Beast Boy chuckled. "Right. Sorry. I'm just a little nervous, I guess. This is a first time for me too." That made Raven stop. She'd always assumed Beast Boy and Terra had messed around. Her body cried out in protest as she took her hand from Beast Boy's underwear.
"It is? I always thought you and Terra…"
He shook his head. "Don't laugh… I was… I was saving myself."
Raven sat back and looked at Beast Boy. His hair was mused and his eyes were glazed and spending most of their time focused on her still puffy areoles.
"Why now?" she whispered. Beast Boy's eyes traveled up to Raven's face, and for the first time she saw the depths of his desperation. He tried to smile, but his muscles refused to do more than contort awkwardly.
"Not much point anymore, is there? This is it. The end of the world. There's no… What are you doing?" Beast Boy asked. Raven had gotten to her feet and was busy righting her leotard. The empath didn't look at Beast Boy as she dressed. Her body was crying out for release, but she ignored the heat between her legs and the throbbing in her nipples.
"You can't give up like that," Raven said, kicking Beast Boy's pants to him. "This is not the end."
"Look around you, Rae!" Beast Boy scoffed. She glared at Beast Boy and tried to keep her eyes focused on his face and not the pulsing appendage between his legs.
"The end came once and we stopped it. I've lived my whole life knowing that I was never supposed to live this long. For eighteen years I knew my life had an expiration date, and I knew how and when and why! You can't give up! I won't let you. Not with me. Not like this." There was a pregnant pause. "Put your pants on, Beast Boy."
The changeling slowly got back into his clothes. He kept trying to make eye contact with Raven, but the sorceress wouldn't meet his gaze. She didn't think she'd be able to look him in the eyes without jumping him. Raven knew now what she thought about Beast Boy and her. She wouldn't insult Starfire's memory by denying her emotions. She wanted him just as badly as he did her. She felt a headache coming on and stalked away, taking refuge in the belly of the treatment plant as the pipes overhead were released from their black envelopes.
ooooo
Raven paced up and down the length of the building, muttering under her breath. Her emotions conspired against the empath; she wanted nothing more at the moment than to run back to Beast Boy, tear off his clothes, and accept the end of the world with a crescendo of ecstatic cries. The hopelessness of her situation sat in the pit of Raven's stomach and chewed away at her life force, draining her like a parasite. Trying to escape the crushing reality around her was tempting.
She took a steadying breath and called upon the teachings of Azar. She was master of her emotions, not the other way around, and Seth's apocalyptic world hadn't broken her yet. And Raven wouldn't allow Beast Boy to break. The changeling had saved himself for years despite the romantic and sexual trysts that were available to him. The green boy might have been willing to admit defeat, but Raven wouldn't allow him to capitulate. There was still hope somewhere in Seth's lawless world.
Raven could feel the hope, it was a faint and feeble emotion that pulsed weakly under the chaos in the air. She could feel the hope, but she couldn't discern its source. Despite the madness, despite the death, despite the loss and the pain and the decay, Raven couldn't allow herself to give up. She'd only recently reclaimed her life as her own. Seth wouldn't take that from her. Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy were still with her. As long as they were together, they'd figure something out. The alternative was unacceptable.
"This is not the end," Raven said to herself. It helped to hear the words aloud, and the demoness drew courage from the verbalization. "We can beat you, Seth. I can beat you. I don't know how we'll do it, but you won't win. You can't." She could feel the malignant Entity inside her, taunting with his presence. He didn't speak, and this emboldened Raven. His power was limited.
"If it's not the end, what is it, Rae?" Beast Boy asked from behind her. Raven hadn't noticed the changeling's approach, and she smiled at the green boy when he spoke.
"A challenge. We've dealt with this type of thing before, BB." The affectionate nickname rolled off Raven's tongue before she had time to think about it. Only the guys and the personification of her restrained happiness ever used that name.
"No we haven't. Everybody's gone crazy. Even the people who haven't technically gone crazy are going crazy! I almost killed Slade. You almost let me. You tried to kill Starfire, and you've murdered more civilians than I can count. It's wrong, Raven! It's sickening and immoral and I almost did it too!"
"You think I don't know the difference between right and wrong?" Raven snapped.
"I thought you did. Now I'm not so sure," Beast Boy replied. He paled. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded." Raven opened her mouth to shout at him, but no words could express her pain.
"How did you mean it, Beast Boy?" Raven demanded.
"I don't know. Raven, I'm sorry. I just said the first thing that came to my mind."
The sorceress shook her head sadly. All the doubts and confusion that had piled up over the past days crashed down on her, stifling her with a mass of self-loathing. She didn't kill because she wanted to; she killed because there was no other option. There was no saving the people who had lost their minds to Seth's influence. The demoness bit her lower lip. Seth's power was limited. She knew that. It was possible that, just like the toxin that almost killed Robin, the true damage done by the chaotic Entity wasn't as extreme as appearances first indicated.
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on her center. What she found there repulsed Raven, and she drew back sharply, opening her eyes and staring at Beast Boy. The changeling took a quick step forward, his features covered by a mask of concern. Maybe Slade was right. Maybe she couldn't set the world right as a Titan, but the darkness at her core, the kernel planted by Trigon at the moment of her conception, nurtured by chaos, fed by desperation, and tended to by Slade made Raven realize what she had the potential to become – what she was slowly becoming. Death would be better than losing herself to that dark taint. The sorceress stepped into Beast Boy's embrace and locked her arms around him.
"We can beat this," she whispered against his chest. Beast Boy didn't respond, and Raven tilted her head up to peck the boy on the cheek. "We have each other, we have our friends. The rest will come as it comes."
The force of her epiphany made her feel giddy. Raven had been walking blindly down a dark road without an end in sight, but now her blinders were off and she could see everything around her. Desperation bred chaos. In her own way, Raven had been adding to the madness around her. The empath could feel it now, and she shuddered privately at the realization that her actions had impacted her friends. Raven's unyielding pessimism has been eroding the hopes of those around her.
Beast Boy broke the embrace and shook his head. Raven could feel conflicting emotions rolling off the changeling, and she smiled fondly at the familiar depression and doubt. Beast Boy noticed Raven smiling at him, and he frowned.
"Do you honestly think we can fix this, Raven?"
The sorceress nodded, her grin widening. She was fully prepared to lie to Beast Boy in order to bolster his confidence, but the words that left her mouth were drawn straight from her heart and left unfiltered. "I do. It won't be easy, but we can and will fix this."
The green elf's expression lit up at her declaration, and Raven felt the warmth of true happiness flow over her. It was an alien feeling in the chaotic world around them, but it reminded Raven of the world that lay just under the surface, the dream-world Slade spoke so scornfully of, waiting to be restored. Raven felt herself squeezed in the middle of a nightmare and a dream, and she wanted the dream. Fool's hope or not, Raven didn't want to be Seth's battery.
Beast Boy's communicator was shrouded in ebony magic, and it floated to Raven's outstretched hand. The demoness could feel the lingering chaos battering against her mental defenses, but she refused to break. The poison lurking in her veins and hiding in the recesses of her mind could not be allowed to control her.
"Raven calling Robin. Where are you? You're going to need some help with Starfire once you find her."
"You stay away from Starfire, Raven!" Robin snapped back immediately. The empath flinched at the steel in her leader's voice. Beast Boy glanced at her, but Raven was careful to keep her face frozen in a neutral mask.
"I want to help you, Robin," she said at length. "Starfire's not going to come with us easily… I want my friend back." There was a long pause over the communicator.
"The residential district, block B7."
"Beast Boy and I will be there soon," Raven said, handing the communicator back to its owner. The green boy waved feebly to Robin before cutting the connection and slipping the yellow and black disk into his belt.
"Can we walk instead of using the magic teleportation thing?" he asked. Raven chuckled, knowing very well how much the changeling hated the frigid touch of her powers. He'd have to get over that quickly if they were going to be getting physical; Raven knew her powers would envelop him just like they had Starfire. Raven froze when she realized what she'd been thinking.
Beast Boy seemed to read something in her expression, because the young jokester became suddenly very serious. "I'd like to talk to you about earlier. To apologize. That was a really bad idea, and I just wanted to make sure everything was still okay between us."
Raven started walking, and Beast Boy fell into step beside her.
"I don't want things to be awkward or anything," he was saying. "I wasn't thinking straight–"
Raven arched a delicate eyebrow at her friend. "You seemed to be thinking pretty straight," she muttered, recalling all too clearly the feel of Beast Boy's arousal. She hadn't meant to be heard, but the changeling blushed and lapsed into a coughing fit. Raven remembered the changeling's heightened hearing and started laughing.
"It isn't awkward, Beast Boy," she sighed. "I don't regret it, we both wanted it, and I learned something important from it. Let's just make sure that next time, we're doing it for the right reasons."
"Next time?" Beast Boy asked, his voice cracking.
"Assuming you want to," Raven amended quickly, unsure of her friend's true thoughts or feelings. She could feel worry from him, so maybe he wasn't interested. She could feel lust, so maybe he was but didn't want to hurt her or make her feel used. She could feel hope, so maybe he was just confused. Raven drew into herself, uncomfortable with the mixed signals Beast Boy was emitting.
"We'll deal with next time when it gets here," Beast Boy said finally. Raven nodded, content with the answer.
They walked out into the streets together, and Raven could feel her confidence eroding at the sight of gutted buildings and shattered streets. Bodies lay strewn across the rubble, and the demoness knew for a fact that there were crumpled bodies lying somewhere in Jump City because of her. It was a horrifying and humbling feeling, this awareness of how frail life truly was. She shook her head. She'd made mistakes. She wasn't going to make anymore.
"Rae, you coming?" Beast Boy said, turning back when he realized Raven wasn't following her. She nodded and set off for Robin, for Cyborg, for Starfire, and for a way to reunite and resemble the fractured pieces of her home.
ooooo
Seth fumed at the scene. He could feel his power slipping away slowly, and the corpulent man cursed colorfully, running through every vile expression in his arsenal. He expelled every curse ever created, and still anger seethed inside him, eating him up as he saw his hard work undone. Raven and the Teen Titans would have a hard time defeating him, especially without finding a way to attach him physically, something that hadn't been successfully completed in millennia, but the fact that they were putting up such resistance made him nervous. When Seth was nervous, he got angry.
The beefy Entity rubbed his hands together and tossed a handful of copper sand at the Basin. The grains crackled and fizzed, intercepted by Temple's barriers. Seth let loose another string of profanity.
"You have an impressive vocabulary." Seth spun around instantly. He knew that voice. Slade Wilson was standing behind him, twirling an ornate marble talisman between his fingers. The stone was bright and well-polished; the center of the talisman bore a familiar rune – the mark of Death, Morana's signature. The man tossed the talisman into the air and caught it carelessly.
"It's a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, Seth. I've heard so much about you. Morana always spoke most highly of you." The Entity of Chaos narrowed his eyes. Slade was dangerous. The man's mind was a steel trap, and Seth knew he couldn't keep up with it. Only one Entity could keep up with the psychopath, and the woman responsible for Slade's outstanding intellect was never inclined to do Seth favors.
"You've redecorated since the last time I was here," Slade remarked dryly.
"The last time you were here, you were dead. Your spirit supplied you with a setting so it wouldn't be overwhelmed. Nothing's changed. But you already know this – or at the very least guessed it. Let's not waste time with trivialities, Slade. What are you doing here?"
Slade was quiet for a time, silently tossing the talisman that granted him access to the room into the air. Seth had no idea how the man acquired it. He knew for a fact that Morana would never lose such a powerful trinket. Finally, Slade broke his silence.
"I have a proposition for you, Seth. One I think it would serve you well to hear." Seth inclined his head in acknowledgement. "One thing first: my dealings with intedimensional powers in the past have ended badly for me. I'm going to need a little protection." Slade pocketed Morana's medallion and held out his hand. "I'll require your mark."
"I'll need to hear what you have to say first," Seth growled.
"No. It doesn't work like that. Without my help, you will lose. Plain and simple. With my help, you will get everything you want from my old dimension and more."
Bronze energy flared to life in Seth's hand, and he chucked the rune at Slade. The assassin caught the marble artifact deftly and turned it over in his hands, inspecting it carefully to ensure its authenticity. Satisfied, Slade pocketed the mark of Chaos.
"Here's what I propose…"
Author's Note: Parts of this chapter absolutely refused to be written! Seriously, we're talking about an uphill battle on a muddy slope during a torrential downpour. That said, I'm very happy with the way it all turned out. I hope everybody had a good time. If you did, if you didn't, I'd love to know what worked for you and what could use improvement. I'll see you all for chapter 8, but in the meantime, have fun.
P.S. There have been some questions about the origin of the Entities. It's a concept modeled off Greek mythology where various Gods would use humans as toys for their own ends and amusement. The names and personalities are mine. :-)
