Title: Life Imitating Art
Chapter Seven: What Was There All Along
"L…"
Raito stared up at the detective lying above him, not quite sure how to take this new series of very uncomfortable events. Flashes of another place and time began to roll in the back of his mind, memories he had tried so hard to bury slowly resurfacing as the minutes continued to tick by.
"We have only known each other for such a short time…" L laid his head down at the crook of the teen's neck, ignoring the way the body beneath his own jumped at the sudden contact. "Yet I feel so close to Raito-kun…"
"I…" Raito felt himself hesitate, not quite knowing what to say. As much as he wished to rebuke the sudden claim-
"I feel the same way."
Something deep inside him knew he couldn't.
"Raito-kun…" The detective breathed out, the exhalation of air gently hitting the small bit of skin L was cuddled against. He moved forward, his heart pounding in anticipation at the sight of those luscious lips barely inches away from his own, when L realized that Raito was still speaking.
"But…"
L stiffened against the musician's taut neck, the body beneath his own trembling with nerves as Raito turned his head away from the detective encasing his being.
"I don't think you really want to do this with me." Chestnut brown eyes shimmered with what could have been a trick in the light as hands made their way up and began to push the older man off his chest. "I think you're only interested in the other person in the room."
"Other… person?" L hefted himself up, peering down at the face below him as he held his weight up by his elbows. "What does Raito-kun mean by that? We are the only two people in the room, aren't we?"
"No, we aren't." The trembling boy replied, shakily resting his head against the cushions of the couch. "I wish we were, but we aren't."
"Raito-kun is becoming delusional with the stress of the ongoing case." L mumbled to himself, bringing a hand up to carefully twirl a wayward lock of the boy's reddish-brown hair away from Raito's face.
A strange emotion overcame the singer's eyes, a sudden apprehension taking over them both as the detective and musician simply gazed into each other's sights, not sure what the other was searching for as the minutes continued to tick by.
"You don't understand, L. You don't really know… you want… Light. And I-I'm only…" Without another word, the young teen pushed the older man off of his person, shocking L as he dropped off the couch and stumbled onto the floor. Raito ran out of the living room and made it into his bedroom, locking door almost immediately thereafter.
Raito slipped down onto the floor, back against the door as a single tear slipped down his face, hands shaking in both anger and frustration
"You would hate the real me, L. Just like everyone else does. And I…" Raito sighed, not sure he could continue on with this charade. Not sure he could continue on with this life in general. A tanned hand ran through his silky auburn locks of hair, trying to find a way out of the newest series of predicaments that now seemed eminent.
"I don't think I could deal with you hating me too."
"I hate it."
Raito glared at the executive as they continued to play the beats through the multiple machines around them, the recording studio empty except for the two of them. "It's too pop-y for any of the songs I have written, and we don't have the time for me to suddenly whip something up from out of my ass."
"Well, Raito my boy, I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't matter if you hate it," The man stated, his unevenly cut hair falling limply over his narrowed eyes. "The fact is, you're going to put words over this music and sing to it whether you like it or not."
Raito's own eyes narrowed in rage as the man's taut form stiffened even further from the intensity of the younger man's glare.
"Bill, what the fuck do you mean by-"
"Raito, people have been complaining about your lack of motivation and obsessive compulsive nature for the last year!" The older man, now known as Bill, stood up from his chair and began pacing around the room, continually running his hands through his bleach blonde hair. "You are certainly cut out to become one of our first class star performers, but if people keep refusing to work with you Raito, you'll get nowhere. And if that keeps up, as much as I may abhor it, I may be forced to drop you from our label."
Bill's beady green eyes bore a whole through Raito's forehead as the young man calmly took a sip off his bottled water, looking as if he hadn't a care in the world.
"Don't you even care that you're career is on the line, or did everything I just say go through one ear and out the other?" Bill sighed as he put a hand on Raito's shoulder, ignoring the tremble racking through his client's body. "These people can't stand you, Raito, and we can't have the people who are supposed to be backing us hate us. You have to be more professional if you expect to survive in this business."
"Of course I care, Bill. I'm listening to everything you're saying and agree wholeheartedly." Raito drawled out, placing the bottle tightly cradled within his hands to the side. "I take everything you say very seriously, you know."
Bill sighed, shaking his head in disdain. "You've got a week to get your shit together, Light. Make the most of it."
Rosy lips pursed together as the man stalked out of the room, cinnamon eyes lacking the usual gleam held deep within their depths.
Raito knew he couldn't keep going down the same road. Something would have to be done, and it would have to be done immediately, or else…
Or else everything he had worked so hard to obtain would be ripped from his grasp.
Raito would be no more, along with the memories he continued to hold onto.
Light would simply have to take his place… once and for all.
"Raito-kun?"
No response came from the other side of the door.
L sighed as he shuffled the series of papers and photos that now rested on the coffee table. Although L understood that he had taken Raito off-guard by the sudden display of aggressiveness, this was not the reaction had not been expecting. A straight-out rejection would have been easier to deal with than this awkward silence and confusing mesh of words the song-writer had left him with.
In the days that he had spent with the boy, he had seemed strangely at ease, if annoyed by the intrusion in his life. L had expected a meltdown eventually, but not in the way it had occurred. Raito had become a totally different person…
"You… you want… Light. And I-I'm only…"
'He acted as if he had been portraying a character all this time.' The detective stared at the grotesque pictures in front of him, not truly seeing them all the same. 'Was that all this was to him? Just another stage with some other crowd to please?'
"Raito-kun? Will you come out now?"
L sighed at the continual silence.
"If Raito-kun does not open the door within the next five minutes I shall bust it open with my own bare hands."
Still nothing.
L felt his eye twitch.
"Raito-kun, my patience is leaving me…"
"LEAVE ME ALONE, L!" The boy finally snapped, still not opening the door.
It seemed the detective would have to take drastic measures on the matter on hand.
"Not unless Raito-kun opens the door!"
"WHY?!"
"… Observational purposes."
"WELL THEN GET ONE OF YOUR DAMN LAPTOPS FROM WHATEVER MAGICAL PLACE YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO PULL THEM OUT OF AND WATCH ME IF YOU HAVE TO! JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!"
L sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, wondering just how the boy knew about his hidden laptops.
"OBSESSIVE STALKER NUMBER TWO!"
The detective sweat dropped in frustration.
'It seems I will have to finally get physical.'
"Alright, Raito-kun. You have given me no choice."
There was a pause behind the door as Raito, L presumed, collected his thoughts and wondered just what it was L was going to do.
"What are you going to do, L?"
L got up from the couch and prepared himself, standing a good four feet away from the door.
"Nothing that I haven't said I wasn't going to do."
One…
The sugar-addicted insomniac blinked as a heard a rustling behind the door, the sound of a body shifting against the block of wood taking him off guard.
"L, don't do anything stupid…"
Two…
"Raito-kun should have thought of that before he decided to be so difficult." The older man easily replied as he mentally collected himself and nodded, knowing this was the best course of action to take. "I suggest Raito-kun get away from the door and stand off to the side."
"L, WA-"
Three!
L quickly rushed to the door, throwing his shoulder forward against the entrance as the door suddenly swung open, the detective falling to the floor in a heap of gangly limbs.
"-it."
A pair of charcoal eyes rimmed with dark bags blinked as the man dazedly gazed up at the musician who stood by the open door, Raito's lips curled up in a faint smirk.
The ass.
"I tried to tell you. You shouldn't have been so impatient with me." Raito stated matter of fact. L felt his eye twitch once more at the smug quality of the boy's voice.
"So now Raito-kun is suddenly alright?" L questioned unsurely. The detective wasn't sure how to take the sudden withdrawal from before, the musician seemingly back to normal. There was still an air of weariness around the boy, as if he was tired…
"Of course I am. Sorry about before…" Raito chuckled as he scratched the back his head, turning around and facing his bureau. "I was just kind of out of it is all. But I'm all fine now, honest?"
"Why is it I don't believe you, Raito-kun?" The suspicious older man stood up from the floor, bringing his thumb up to his mouth as he began to gnaw on the singular digit. Raito took a step back as the detective slouched forward, wincing as his behind came in contact with his dresser.
"L…" The same feeling of apprehension began to take hold of the boy once again as L continued to step forward until only centimeters lay in between them. "Please… you don't want to do this."
"I believe I know more of what I may or may not want than Raito-kun." A hand clasped onto Raito's arm as pop star turned away from the insomniac's empty gaze, not sure what to make of the continuing advances.
"I'm not who you think I am!" The boy shouted, his taut nerves finally snapping under the intensity of the detective's vacant stare. "I don't know what you're thinking, but whoever you think you're staring at isn't who you're…"
L leaned in closer, not deterred by the boy's supposed protests in the slightest.
"Are you even listening to me, L?! I'm trying to tell you to back off and it's like you're in your own little world! What, are you daydreaming about chasing lollipops and cakes again?!"
The detective sweat dropped, faintly embarrassed that he had admitted that to singer a day before whilst Raito had been rambling about… something.
"I resent that comment for the obvious fact that I am only choosing to ignore everything you are saying for a good reason. My poor cakes have nothing to do with it this time, as tempting as it is to block out Raito-kun's ever irritating voice at times."
"HEY!"
L smirked as Raito forgot about personal boundaries and leveled himself at the sugar-addict's height despite former objections.
"Raito-kun is very rambunctious today."
"Well, it seems that L-kun is very deaf today."
"Do not worry, Raito-kun. This 'deafness' you speak of is only in concern to any stupidity that may unintentionally pop out of your very lovely mouth in the form of very obnoxious comments."
"You…" The musician's face turned a shade of very abnormal red as the detective smirked in triumph.
He had Raito right where he wanted him…
"OH MY GOD, IT'S ! I SEE HIM! OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, HES'COMINGONSTAGE! KYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAA!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
"WE LOVE YOU, LIGHT!"
"WOOOOOOOOO! LET'S SEE SOME NAKED LIGHT ACTION!"
Raito sweat dropped as he backed away from the stage.
His first performance on his very first tour…
It was definitely not what he expected.
"What are you doing, Light?! Those babes are practically frothing from their mouths wanting to get a piece of you and you look scared shitless!"
"Poor guy. It's probably too much to take in all at once."
"I get that. Even I can admit Light's hot. God knows what those girls would do if they ever got their hands on him."
"Probably rape him over and over again."
"Lucky bastard."
Raito ignored the words of his band mates and focused solely on his growing anxiousness, knowing he would only get one chance at this. All those people who had said he would fail would have to eat their words, or Raito would have to take the fall.
This was the pinnacle he had been waiting for all this time. This was the moment where he could finally prove his self-worth; if not to everyone else, at least to himself.
"I'm ready…"
Without thinking, Raito ran straight ahead of his band members, grinning at the masses of fans (his fans) that greeted him with zealous screeches.
His button-up shirt lay wide open, his chest exposed for all to see as his tight low-riding jeans clung to his long legs. Sweat dripped down his tanned face as adrenaline began to pump through the musicians veins, knowing this was sink or swim. A clenched hand gripped the microphone as Raito yanked out all of his inhibitions from his mind and pushed them away, saving them for another day.
"ARE YOU READY FOR ME, L.A.?!"
"!!"
Raito glanced at his band mates, smirking in satisfaction.
"Hit it."
"I wanna be a pop star and be more to you; I'm lifted from the ground in a daze… A sparkling pop star; I spread my wings and do my magic just for you!"
"YOU CAN BE MY POP STAR ANY DAY OF THE WEEK, LIGHT!"
"POP STAR, MY ASS! I'LL LET YOU BE WHOEVER THE HELL YOU WANTED TO BE LIGHT! JUST LET ME TOUCH YOU! PLEAAAAAAAAASE! ((sob))"
Raito knew that the person he was wasn't the person these people wanted to see.
"When I'm with you, I'm so happy- but then I'm so sad when I'm not. Taking each other's hands, we run straight into a love affair."
"Light! Light! Light! Light!"
But he would play the part to a tee.
"I can't fly to the sky, but I can sing my song of loneliness at night if that would bring a smile to your cheeks."
He could still hear them chanting his name…
If only it was really him they were so busy adoring.
"When I held you close for the first time, it was as if God himself came down upon me. Now my destiny is to be a hero, just for you."
If only someone could come and save him from this endless spiral of self-hatred.
Maybe he could have a fighting chance.
"WE LOVE YOU LIGHT!"
If only…
"Raito-kun is hiding something very important to me."
"Maybe I am."
"It was not a question."
"Isn't it?"
"No. So please stop attempting to be coy, Raito-kun."
"What would you like for me to tell you, L?"
"The truth would be a lovely thing for me to learn. Perhaps with that, I may be able to actually solve this case."
"Well, you can't handle the truth."
"Neither can you, it seems."
Raito pouted from his spot on the bed, his head huddled over the man's uncomfortable shoulder. His arm still hurt from the grasp L had had on it (who would have thought that a guy with a two-finger hold could have fingers of steel?!) and dragged him upon the bed, encasing him (trapping him) within his own embrace.
The brown-eyed musician was obviously not amused.
"I don't see what it has to do with the case." The singer mumbled, unintentionally snuggling closer to the detective in question. "It's not like you ever tell me anything worthwhile. Why do you want to know about me so badly?"
"There is a homicidal murderer set on having Raito-kun. I suppose I have the right to be a bit weary about the things that may or may not be connected to the case." L dryly stated, his embrace tightening slightly. "Anything can be seen as vital at this point, Raito-kun. You know this, and yet you still continue to keep secrets?"
Long fingers clamped down around the panda-eyed detective's waist, eyes closing in frustration as L continued to prod. He knew he would have to tell L eventually, but he wanted-no, needed, to keep this to himself for just a bit longer.
Raito wanted to play the part of Light for just a bit longer, even if he knew he couldn't forever.
"Raito-kun…"
"Tell me something about yourself, L." Raito cautiously opened one cinnamon colored eye, ignoring the sudden stiffening of muscles that enwrapped him. "Even if it's something stupid and mundane. And I'll tell you something in return for what you tell me."
"What?" The older man frowned as Raito's other eye pocked open, gleaming up at him with undisguised amusement. "Like a… game?"
"Doesn't seem right that I have to be the one to be constantly put on the hot seat, now does it? Tell me something about yourself and I'll tell you something about me of equal value. Seems fair, yes?"
"L does not play games." L muttered, ignoring the penchant smirk hanging off the pop star's lips.
"Raito-kun does not follow people blindly." The boy acidly snapped back, managing to gain control of the situation even whilst being under the grip of the freakishly strong anorexic detective.
L's blank gaze peered into Raito's own, the boy's eyes boiling over with emotions the detective could never come to understand. Both were notoriously stubborn, it seemed, with neither willing to break their will of steel.
The detective held on tighter to the warm body next to him, wondering what he could do to make this boy understand.
The singer buried himself deeper within the embrace, knowing that if he broke now, there would literally be no going back.
All it took was a set of words to break the silence, and they were not what either man was expecting.
"I own all of your albums and know all of the lyrics to your songs."
Raito blinked in disbelief.
L actually managed not to blush.
"No way."
"I wish it was a lie."
"How do I know you're telling the truth?"
"Does Raito-kun really think I would admit such a thing out loud without a care in the world?! That was not an easy piece of information to part with!"
"I wouldn't put it past you. Sing a lyric from one of my songs, and I'll believe what you're saying is true."
"Is Raito-kun serious?"
"Are you?"
L sighed as he resigned himself to his own fate.
'For the case…'
"Which song?"
Raito narrowed his eyes, trying to think of the most obscure song he could remember writing.
'… … … I've got it.'
"I want you to sing…" Raito paused dramatically, knowing the man in front of him was going to fail without question. This song hadn't been on any of his recent albums, and most people didn't' even know it existed. ""Greatest Part of Me"."
L sighed, knowing he had dug his own grave and despising every second of it.
The boy had him by the balls, damn it.
"It's in this resounding cavern of emptiness that I have seen this ugly madness that makes up the greatest part of me."
The detective slowly whispered out the words, his voice though no where near as soothing as Raito's dulcet tones still managing to catch the boy completely off guard.
"I have lied, I have manipulated; worst if all, I feel no shame for these acts. My greatest of goals, which set me up for this fall, begrudge upon my conscience; I wonder if I was ever human at all?"
Raito blinked once more.
"What the fuck…"
"Nostalgia fills my being, allowing any semblance of understanding to once again slip in between the many unerring crevices…"
Dark eyes glazed over as long spidery fingers began to drum out the beat against Raito's bare arm, the musician still in awe at the man.
'He… wasn't lying.'
"Oh, the propaganda! Oh, the heartfelt cries! Watching their silent tears-"
"And feeling nothing inside." Raito finished for the detective, startling him out of his daydream with his half-hearted whisper.
Both men stared at each other, one utterly embarrassed, yet refusing to show it, and the other encased in shock, wondering how someone so important could be fixated on a pop singer like himself.
"You weren't lying." The younger man stated, his eyes as wide as saucers.
"No, I was not." L agreed, quite sure he wanted nothing more than to bury his head in the ground and never show his face to the beautiful teen ever again. "I believe it is now Raito-kun's turn."
"My… turn…well… I guess I'll just have to show you, then."
Raito buried himself deeper within the embrace, not noticing the older detective effectively tightening his grip on the boy's slender body once again. Warm cocoa eyes gazed up into ebony pools of darkness, the singer's face softening under the tension clouding the insomniac's face.
Fingers clenched against the cool fabric of L's formerly pristine white shirt now caked in stains as Raito slowly began to pull himself up, the arms around him loosening in surprise. L stiffened in shock as the abnormally wide-eyed detective lay paralyzed under the pop star's intense stare, lips now laying only centimeters apart. Breaths puffed out in anticipation as the boy's face came closer to L's own, eyes shutting lightly as the distance grew smaller and smaller…
"Ryuuga!"
"GAH!"
"OH SHIT!"
CRASH!
Watari blinked as he stared at the mess of limbs and hair fallen against the ground, not sure if he wanted to know just what it was he had been interrupting.
The older man sweat dropped.
"A full analysis has just been brought in from the crime labs, along with the autopsy reports done on the victims left at the scenes of the crimes. Also, the results from the tests made of the flowers found on the crown of thorns have returned. If you boys would follow me…"
Raito coughed as he crawled out from under the detective, cheeks stained a now semi-permanent red. L's eye twitched as continued to lay sprawled out on the ground, eye twitching in agitation.
"Are you coming, Ryuuga?"
Raito turned an even brighter shade of red.
L didn't even say a word.
God knows the old man still had some good years ahead of him, after all.
Disclaimer: I don't own "Pop Star" by Hirai Ken (courtesy of the great Kitsune55!) but I do own the lyrics of "Greatest Part of Me". Copyright, biatches. Lol!
Cute chapter, right? Lots of character development, relationship development, and foreshadowing if you know where to look. I know, I amaze myself. Lol! Many cookies and thank you's sent to my greatest, most favoritest (and only) beta ever, Kitsune55. Fear her speedy correcting skills. And thanks to you readers; next chapter shall be... enlightening to say the least. See ya soon!
