Thanks to cjh4ever for the idea, I didn't use your exact idea but this was fuelled by the suggestion. :)

As always, reviews and suggestions are much appreciated! Enjoy!
:)


Gwen Cooper/Owen Harper – Anything you can do (I can do better)

Owen stood next to his workstation, arms folded, a scowl on his face. Gwen Cooper of all people had just fixed his computer. He couldn't get the blasted thing to turn on, but obviously Tosh wasn't around so Gwen had 'come to his rescuce'. "Right, great, you got it working. You've proved you can work a computer better than me. Happy?"

Gwen smiled to herself from her position under Owens desk, "Owen, anything you can do, I can do better."

"I can do anything better then you." Retorted Owen, mentally scratching 'making the computer work' off of the list of anythings.

"No you can't." said Gwen as she wiggled her way out from under the desk.

"Yes I can."

"No you can't!" replied Gwen, her smile obvious to the world.

"Yes I can!" shouted Owen, instantly regretting it as Jack's head flew up from inside his office and Ianto appeared from the small kitchen to see what all the noise was about this time. It was then Owen realised how incredibly childish they were being int heir argument and decided to turn things on their head. If Gwen wanted a challenge, he'd give her a challenge.

"Anything you can be, I can be greater, sooner or later I'm greater then you." He sang, almost glad he'd been forced to watch that stupid musical movie the girls had chosen for the last movie night.

Gwen cottoned on immediately. "No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am, yes I am!" Proclaimed Owen loudly, as if he'd just won the entire argument with that single statement. "I can shoot a monster straight from the holster."

"I can get a weevil with some cuffs and…" Gwen faltered, what on earth rhymed with Weevil?

Gwen's hiccup only served to spur Owen on. "I can live on bread and cheese." He continued with the song, forgetting the reply until it was too late.

"And only on that? Makes you a rat!" Gwen sang, smiling as she fiddled with the lyrics a little, making Owen turn a brighter shade of red as he got slowly angrier.

Owen took Gwen's creative licence and decided to skip the next section of the song, after all, Gwen would definitely win at being able to sing the highest. "Anything you can say, I can say softer." He smirked, figuring he had a decent chance of winning this contest.

"I can say anything softer then you."

"No you can't." whispered Owen.

"Yes I can." Replied Gwen, quieter still.

It was Owen's turn, "No you can't." It was like playing a game of reverse bogeys.

"Yes I can, yes I can." Said Gwen so quietly it was next to impossible to tell if there was any noise coming out of her mouth at all.

It was Ianto's turn to speak up now, watching them fight was too good an opportunity to miss, and after all, there was nothing wrong with poking a fire a little provided you didn't get burned. "I can still hear you both!" he shouted from the kitchen, smiling as he did so.

"I can drink my liquor, faster than a flicker." Said Owen, ignoring Ianto's input and focusing on grinding Gwen down.

"I can drink it quicker, and get even sicker." She replied, not sure she wanted to test this one later. Sure she'd get sicker then Owen but she was pretty sure he could down a pint faster.

"I can open any safe." Was Owen's next line.

"Without getting caught?"

"You bet."

"That's what I thought."

"Have you been in my safe Owen?" Yelled Jack in mock anger, not missing a beat. He loved to see the doctor squirm occasionally.

Owen flinched as the captain yelled at him, "No Jack, I haven't!" he shouted back before returning to the task at hand. "Any breath you can hold, I can hold longer."

"I can hold any breath longer then you." Sang Gwen in reply.

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't"

"Yes I can, Yes I…" She was cut off as she noticed both Jack and Ianto moving towards them.

"I think we should sort this out once and for all, don't you Ianto." Said Jack slyly, receiving a nod from Ianto he continued, "Hold your breath for as long as you can. Ready? Three, two, one, go."

Gwen and Owen stood staring angrily at each other and Jack and Ianto as they each held their breaths. Realising how stupid this all was, but at the same time not wanting to loose they struggled against their urge to breathe for as long as physically possible.

"Well, that's one way to shut them up." Said Ianto seriously, receiving a grin from Jack, and a death glare from Owen and Gwen.