Lured
By: Stupiak Kitty
A/N: Surprisingly, no one threw vegetables at me. Thank you for the feedbacks! Really I appreciate it a lot lot lot! Sorry for making you wait for way too long.
Here it is.
"It never occurred to me that it was the actual reason why you left, Shin-chan. I should have told you about it sooner." –Takao Kazunari
Chapter's Theme Song:
Ashita He Tsurete – Midorima Shintaro & Takao Kazunari
xXx
Midorima moved his hands to massage the bridge of his nose, but frowned when it met his glasses instead. He removed it and caressed the corner of his eyebrows.
He was breathing hard.
The force he just unleashed was turning against him.
He closed his eyes. He shouldn't have let his anger control his actions. Expressing himself was not his strong suit. This was not included to his original plan. He never meant to take him right then and there.
He turned to Takao after a while.
He saw him motionless and staring at thin air. His bottom part was covered with angry scratches and red marks. He looked lost and dejected.
He frowned with that, clenching his fist tightly.
He never imagined how anger had pushed him to do this. This wasn't a work of a normal man. It is a work of a monster, and that evil person was none other than himself.
Anger had transformed him into monster, and he didn't like it.
He stood up and pace around the room.
Yes, he understood that Takao was that kind of person. He might even consider forgetting it, or even forgiving him only if he was willing to admit his crime. He couldn't bring himself to believe Takao's words, not when the memory of seeing him with another woman was still engraved inside his mind.
There was the fact that he was still in contact with the same woman in spite of everything, and how that gray-haired man was too comfortable of touching Takao bothered him the most.
Takao's words were contrary to what his eyes had seen.
He was close of giving in when he saw his expression earlier. Takao looked at him as if he was wearing his heart on the edge of his sleeves – it was sincere. He could see how their current situation wound him.
He almost gave in.
"Let me go. Let us free each other now."
Remembering Takao's words made him see red again. He contained the urge to groan as he strode toward the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
He rested both his hands on the edge of the washbasin, his chest was heaving. Truth be told, he was stunned the moment he heard that.
The fact that Takao was telling him to let him go felt as though he has been stabbed in the back for thousands of times.
He couldn't even entertain the idea of letting him go. He can't forget the pain Takao had inflicted inside him and walk away like nothing serious had transpired between them.
Midorima cannot.
He could not bring himself to do that. For ten years, Takao has been haunting his mind, wondering if he was doing all right despite the fact that he betrayed him.
It was his reason to strive — struggling alone in a foreign country regardless of various difficulties he had to face by living overseas.
There was a tiny voice inside his head; coercing and telling him that he need to do this. He had to be someone capable and strong enough to handle any problems that might come his way. That way, it would be a good revenge for his part.
Takao might realize how wrong he was to let him down — to turn his back to him.
When they met, he was telling him that he never did such a thing.
Impossible. That was the only word he could thought of then. Considering the proofs he had seen, it was impossible that he was telling the truth.
Takao's willingness made him realize that he has already moved on. Midorima wanted to do that for a very long time. Only the heaven knew how hard he had been wishing for his mind to stop recalling the past — his past with Takao.
It was haunting him every time, tormenting his dream with good memories filled with smiling Takao. When he woke up, he would always find himself longing to see him again.
Though whenever his mind recalled the reason why he fled, it frustrated him.
He never tried with anyone, because there was something inside his mind that was chiding him that he would be betraying Takao if he were to try to love someone.
It was an ironic thing for his part, considering that Takao betrayed him first.
Deep inside Midorima, he knew that despite Takao's cheating, he was dear to him. Despite knowing that Takao might be happy now with someone else in Japan, he can't bring himself to search for someone to replace him.
His hands trembled as the awareness of something drawn into him.
Takao was too important for him to accept his proposal of forgiving and forgetting.
You have no idea how all of this is hurting me too, Takao. Even if I've told myself to hate you, I can't bring myself to do that.
He could not understand his self anymore. His confidence was crumbling whenever it involves him. He was a vulnerable mass of confused cells when it comes to a man named Takao Kazunari.
It was unfair, he thought.
Midorima came out half-hour later once he was certain that he had already calmed his whole system. His eyes went straight to the sleeping figure of Takao.
He walked toward the bed, frowning with Takao's current state.
He was indecent to look at. He didn't bother cleaning, or fixing himself up. He could almost see the tearstain on his face. It was shining on the dim light of the hotel as he came closer.
He was an overall mess.
All of it was the result of his uncontrolled anger.
Midorima sat on the corner of the bed, checking if he was really in deep slumber. He wanted to shake him on the shoulders to test if he was really sleeping, but he couldn't.
Instead, he proceeded on fixing his pants, pulling it up and secured it with a zip. His actions were careful, quiet. He doesn't want to get caught doing this.
He fixed Takao's shirt next. He altered it on its natural position and pushed his unruly bangs away from his face with gentle fingers. His cold trembling fingers flinched for a moment when it grazed Takao's forehead.
Midorima stilled when he moved. He almost sighed when he simply turned around, facing the other side.
He looked around, searching for a clean blanket. His eyes caught something sprawled on the floor, and realized that it must have fallen when he took him in a most forceful way.
He took it, dusting the dirt away before setting it on top of Takao in a gentlest way that he could muster.
He sat beside him after awhile — observing him without any worries of being caught. He was in doubt if going back to England tomorrow was a good choice.
It was a surprise, even for him. He knew himself. Once he had decided on something, nothing would ever change his mind.
He would do everything in his power to accomplish everything what his mind had settled on.
It awed him, if he could be truthful with himself. Even though he had done everything in his power to avoid him for all those years, fate had led him to Takao again.
Perhaps this was his fate, their fate, to meet each other even after all these years. It was bound to happen, he knew it, but he never imagined that it might lead to something heartbreaking like this.
Midorima shifted beside him after a while, his right hand supporting his head as he lay on top of the blanket.
He let his eyes study Takao's sleeping face. He looked peaceful and calm.
He looked innocent without seeing his usual sharp and mischievous silver-blue eyes. Now that he was in close contact of Takao's face, he could see how puffy the edge of his eyes was. His lips were chapped and spot of dry blood were gathering on the middle of his lips.
He sighed as he massaged the bridge of his nose, then pulling his glasses away from his eyes. He closed his eyes and massaged it instead.
He made Takao cry. He was the one who tormented him now. It was still processing inside his mind.
Takao's actions were making him confuse. He was with that woman and then with the man, was he not?
Was he really?
When he moved his eyes open, Takao's sleeping face greeted him again. It was not at all blurry, but it was not enough to see his face clearly.
He never opted to wear his glasses. He doesn't want to see the face of the man who made him vulnerable.
He squinted when he tried reaching out, then he stilled when his fingertips touched Takao's eyelids. He yanked his hands away as if it burns. The tip of his finger tingled at the sudden contact.
He tried doing it again after awhile, careful not to wake him up. Then he curled his hands as he traced the contour of Takao's face.
Even though he couldn't see him as clear as when he was wearing his glasses, his profile was vivid inside his mind. He moved his hand away and clenched it.
I didn't mean to do this to you, Takao.
xXx
Takao stirred with a painful neck, and then the throbbing discomfort traveled all the way his nethermost part.
He winced after recalling the cause of his soreness.
He tried moving, but he almost flinched away when he saw Shin-chan lying next to him. His heart throbbed once he saw him, though it relaxed inside him when he saw that he was sleeping.
He doesn't have to worry about getting caught.
His eyes were close and his breathing was normal. He had taken noticed of it just now; he was not wearing his glasses. He found it weird to see Shin-chan sleeping beside him, and without any glasses on.
He lay there, staring at his peaceful face without restraint. His face was still the same even after ten years, only it became more striking. He grew old looking more handsome and formal, but he could still see the familiar features he had come to love. His green eyes, his long lashes, the usual frown, it never change.
Same goes for his character now. It altered so much, yet he could still see the glimpse of the old Shin-chan he had come to love.
He almost sighed.
Why is it that he's still here? Takao thought. He left already, didn't he? What bothered him the most was the fact that he was lying on the same bed as him.
He was close, too close. Takao was under the impression that Shin-chan hated everything, anything about him.
And yet…
On cue, he looked down and saw that he was now presentable. He looked at the green-haired man with that.
Could it be that this was nothing but Shin-chan's work?
Perhaps he did it all by himself. The memory of doing it was only lost inside his brain.
But then again, if Shin-chan really did this, then tsundere part of him was still intact.
Maybe he hadn't changed so much after all.
That thought alone made the corner of his eyes tingle. He can't deny that he had missed Shin-chan, his one and only eccentric tsundere.
Takao thought that their relationship was perfect. Despite that, a simple misunderstanding had only torn their bond apart.
He attempted to reach out a hand to stroke his cheeks, but it froze when Shin-chan opened his eyes without warning. He withdrew his hands and pretended to play the edge of the blanket instead.
His heart was running.
Takao can feel it. He tried glancing away as he continued to do random things with his hands. He could feel the sudden warmth surging on his cheeks.
If his body were in normal state, he might have jumped off the bed and sprint away from him. It was strange for him to say this, but he was embarrassed.
He was embarrassed that Shin-chan and he were lying on the same bed – the bed where he had took him like an anger-fueled madman not too long ago.
Takao tried to steal glances at him, but he stilled when Shin-chan's eyes were staring at him still. He tried looking away, all right, but he can't help but return his gaze to him. Every time he does that, he could still see him looking at him.
This was the most uncomfortable feeling that he had felt his entire life.
When he looked at him again, he frowned when Shin-chan sighed before massaging the corner of his eyes. When he moved his hands away, he was shocked.
Takao lay there, disbelief and shock both written on his face. It made him immobile as he stared at Shin-chan's teary profile.
His eyes were soft, caring. The light was dim but he could still see how his green orbs glisten, it was as if he was conveying his agony, his distress — all of his suffering with that one look.
Takao had no idea how he was staring at him by now, but he was aware how his eyes were wide as saucers.
This was not the Shin-chan he perfectly knew — the usual arrogant expression of his, the confidence he sometimes despise, the proud man he was used to deal with in a daily basis, it was all but disappeared.
The Shin-chan he was seeing now was the man behind those demeanors. The man before him was a man who left his mask behind and never bothered hiding his true soul before him.
This was the true Shin-chan.
Takao had already known it from the start. He had seen past that cocky attitude everyone hated. He had known this man in front of him even before the actual person knows.
Shin-chan, though it may be eccentric to say, was almost crying.
"T-Takao," He croaked. Even his voice was throaty. It was unusual for him to let his guard down just like this. "Is…is there no other way for you to leave them?"
"S-Shin-chan?" Takao responded with a little voice. His mind was floating that he didn't understand what he was implying.
"C-can we start again?" Shin-chan went on. "Forget your lovers. Leave them…leave them behind and come back to me. Was…was it too much for me to ask?"
His eyes grew wider, if that was possible. Were these words really coming from Shin-chan's voice? The same man who managed to inflict the pain within him — in both physical and emotional aspect at that, was begging for him to come back in his life.
His heart was beating too wild. He was even speechless to react.
Before he could express his mind, the magical moment ended with a blink of an eye. Shin-chan turned around, quickly wiping his eyes as he reached the glasses situated on the side table.
"Ignore the words I just uttered," He said after a moment of silence. His voice now back to normal. Even his face was void of any emotions — contrary to what he had seen just a moment ago. "I was not my usual self. It was nothing but a result of stupidity and the heat of the moment."
The sudden shift of the bed signaled him that Shin-chan was getting off to bed now. Letting him go meant that he might not be able to have this moment again. Before anything could stop him from expressing himself, he spoke.
"Mika, the woman you've seen twice, is not my lover."
Shin-chan looked at him, curious and wary. His look was telling him that he was not buying his explanation, so he went on.
"She's my cousin. It might be cliché to say, but it's true," Takao saw how his look changed into distrustful again. He smiled a wry smile. "Yes, Shin-chan. Just like what you said earlier.
"That time when I told you that I have to deal with an emergency, I really had. Mika called before you, she asked me to come home early because she was inside our house already. So I did. I thought she was only visiting us at first. I never expected it to be serious.
"Mika told me that she got kicked out when her parents realized that she was pregnant. They recognized it with her recent change of habit, she said. The way she craves for a certain food, how she vomits every morning. She tried contacting her boyfriend then, but she couldn't contact him anymore. He ran away. She never heard of him when she informed her current situation. He abandoned her after learning that she was pregnant with his child.
"She was left confused and desperate. The only person that she could think of at that time was I. So she went to see me," Takao continued when he remained silent. "I did the only thing I could think of to lessen her misery. I believe that was when you saw me strolling at the park with her," He sighed. "It never occurred to me that it was the actual reason why you left, Shin-chan. I should have told you about it sooner."
Silence filled the room once again. He stared at his impassive face, hoping that he would believe him this time.
"T-the other one," Shin-chan broke the silence with his unsure voice. He pushed his glasses and turned his face away from him. "What about the other man?"
Takao was quiet for a moment, contemplating whether telling the truth is the right thing to do. But then again, thinking hard had made him decide that it is the right thing.
He shouldn't hide this thing to Shin-chan anymore. If his hunches were right — if Shin-chan was still stuck with their past and his feelings didn't change, then he must trust him. Trust him that he would be able to accept him despite it all. He must not hide anything if he wanted to start with him again.
He needed to trust a man who never trusted him back
After all, it was trust that led them into this.
"Akihiro is a very dear friend of mine," Takao said after a long, painful silence.
His voice was little and wary. He was unsure of Shin-chan's reaction if he were to hear the truth, though he was certain that telling this was the right decision. "He was the one who introduced the thing I've come to love. He was there when you're not. He picked me up when I almost collapsed. If I didn't meet him, I might be dead by now. He made me realize that I still have one remaining passion inside me, and that is to sing. It made me consider that I still have a purpose — that the reason why I am still alive was to share everything what I've gone through by singing. It revived the thing that has died when you left, and that is to dream."
Again, piercing silence surrounded them.
He frowned when Shin-chan sat up, his bandaged hands was resting on his forehead. He tried reading the emotions on his face, but failed.
"So I got it all wrong," came Shin-chan's reply after the long silence. His voice was distant again. "You and that man are together, not the woman I had seen you with. Is that what you're trying to say?"
"No, Shin-chan!" He exclaimed without ado. He might need to explain it faster or the stream of misunderstanding will flow again. "Please listen to me before you jump into conclusions again."
"'He was there when I was not' was your words. Isn't that right?" Shin-chan responded with a frown. "How am I supposed to think about that then? Was it strange for me to suspect that the both of you were not romantically involved? Your words and the way he was holding you was the living proof, Takao. You are with him. That's how I interpret it."
"We are involved, yes. I have no plan of hiding that fact," Takao said, his eyes were staring straight at Shin-chan's eyes so he noticed how the sudden pain surge through his expression, and then it vanished like it never even occur in the first place. So he added, "But there are no romance going on between us. It's…it's just the physical aspect. Like I said, we're just friends."
"Hmph," He pushed his glasses up and glared at him. "So you were doing that with him, but you are claiming that the both of you are just friends. Impossible. You are impossible. You're treating the deed too lightly."
"I know," was Takao's soft reply. His solemn eyes were looking down at his hands. He can't dare look at Shin-chan right now. "I've been involved with several people too, Shin-chan. Not just him," He tried laughing, but he failed. "You're actually right. I've made myself a proper wanton beast for ten years."
Midorima simply stared, speechless. So the term he had dubbed onto Takao by impulse was an actual fact. What shocked him the most, however, was the fact that he was the only one to blame for Takao's improper acts.
He never hated himself too much until now. The revelation was too much for him to handle.
"My life is a whirlwind mess, and I ruined it myself. Yes, I perfectly know that. You don't have to repeat it," Takao emitted a bitter chuckle. "I had lain with too many people I lost count already, but there's one thing that was bothering me ever since I started doing that.
"Whenever I am doing it with someone, my mind couldn't forget that one particular face. For several times, I tried to beg for my mind, my body, even my heart to forget it. But for countless of times, I still can't. All these years, I've been thinking of you, Shin-chan."
As do I, Takao. He thought, but he had no guts to voice it out.
He didn't respond. He doesn't know what to say or how to react, but he perfectly knew that Takao's revelation was the most shocking news to him.
"Do…do you believe me now?" Takao asked after a moment.
Silence filled them once again.
Shin-chan broke it with a deep sigh, removing his glasses after awhile. He massaged the corner of his eyes. "So that's it. We've wasted ten years of our lives just because of this petty misunderstandings. We drifted apart due to the fact that we were lacking the most essential part of a relationship," He put his glasses back and sighed again. "This is unbelievable."
"I know, Shin-chan," He sighed too. "I know. I never expected this to happen too. There are many things happening right now. Some were too impossible to happen but it happened anyway."
"I'm perfectly aware of that fact," He pushes his glasses up. "That was the effect of the Oha Asa's prediction for my sign. Had I found my lucky item sooner, my fate will never be this way."
"But it did, and we can't really change what has happened, right?"
Silence filled the both of them once again. Takao was looking at him with passive eyes. His right hand was resting beneath his left cheek. He was tempted to stroke Shin-chan's cheek, but he stilled himself.
"S-Shin-chan," He called instead. "Will…will you still accept me even…even after knowing what I've been? Can I still come back to you?"
Painful silence greeted Takao. He had the urge to cry and sob his pain out, but he controlled it. He knew it was impossible for Shin-chan to accept him now.
Despite that knowledge, it still hurt like daggers.
"Of course I was just kidding," He said instead. "I'm just trying to test your reaction. Heh. I know it's impossible for you to accept me, now that you knew that your accusations about me were actually true," He tried conveying his pain with a laugh, but it only turned into a pathetic excuse of laughing.
So he stopped.
However, his tears and sob were not cooperating. He wiped his tears away only to attract more. He chuckled with that. He was indeed useless when it comes to Shin-chan. "H-heh. N-now I tur-ned into a c-crying mess. I-I'm sorry, Shin-chan. I just can't control th—this…s-sh-it."
His sobs were uncontrollable now.
He wanted to run away and hide only if his body would allow him, so he tried turning around from him instead. Before he could do that, though, he found himself trapped inside Shin-chan's strong embrace.
That didn't help him recover his sudden sobbing problems. It became worse, especially when he felt Shin-chan's gentle hands behind his head. He was caressing it as though he was trying to comfort him. He was tapping and stroking it with tender fervor that he just wanted to melt right then and there.
His chest was contracting because of this abrupt gentleness. He could still remember how Shin-chan had treated him as if he was nothing but a ragdoll not a while ago. Even his words were harsh and heartless.
Now, he was holding him as if he was the most precious item existing.
He still couldn't believe that it was really Shin-chan's warmth enveloping his body now.
His sobs lessened after a while. He tried snuggling closer, and he could not express how happy he was when he didn't do anything to oppose his actions. His body relaxed. His eyes were now drifting into sleep when he heard Shin-chan's voice.
"I'm truly sorry for hurting you, Takao."
He moved away, only to look at Shin-chan's face. His look was serious, like he would break down into tears any moment now. He couldn't believe what he just heard, and what he was seeing at the moment.
Maybe he has been affected with the Oha Asa's prediction now.
"It was not my intention to do this — to hurt you and myself in the process," He went on. "You know how explaining things is not my strong fit. You…you're the only person who knows me well."
He had to smile with that. "Of course, Shin-chan. I understand. You are my one and only tsundere, after all."
He pushed his glasses up and looked away. "Shut up."
"Shin-chan?"
"What?"
"Can you kiss me?"
He stared at Takao with that.
"Kiss my pain away," He went on. Midorima could notice how his smile was tilted like he was implementing something more than his words. "But can you be gentler this time? I've been dying to taste you my way again."
"You're a true blooded pervert, indeed,"
His voice was mean, but he did kiss him anyway.
xXx
Not yet done! There are two more chaps remaining!
CHAPTER OPEN FOR EDITING
