Summery: Seemingly normal teen girls live the world of IZ. Very funny and extremely random with maybe few inside jokes, allusions to other entertainment, and MAJOR BUSH BASHING! Rated for safety. The story gets a bit creepy later. Reviews welcomed.

Disclaimer: None of us own IZ or anything else except the new names.

I welcome you to our insanity….

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THE ZIM CHRONICLES

"And that is how I will conquer Earth," Zim concluded, folding his hands and smiling smugly.

"Were talking that whole time?" Lizz asked, wadding a piece of napkin in her mouth and then sticking it in her straw. She then spit it at an old woman walking to her seat and the elderly lady fell over with a shriek. Lizz and Gir laughed.

"You know, Erika," Dib said, "I'm a really big fan of the X-Files."

Erika was squinting at a man she didn't know receiving French toast. "That's…lung-colapsing. Excuse me for a moment, I have to go buy shoes for my feet…" She walked over to the man and struck him with a magic eight ball. Lizz and Gir clapped, then threw a spit-wad at his head. Erika came back and said, "Now, Dot, what were you saying?"

"Dib," Dib corrected. "I was saying we have a lot in common."

Erika grabbed him by the shirt collar. "Take that back! Oh, wait, okay…." She sat down. "Wait! Where's Katt?!"

Everyone blinked.

"She hasn't been here the whole time, Erika," Lizz explained.

"Well, we gotta find her!" Eirka said hysterically. She went into a rant of immigration and humgry penguins Dib stared at her, googly-eyed and Lizz and Gir were playing the Bacon game again. Zim finally got sick of the chaos.

"SILENCE!" Zim yelled, jumping on the table. Everyone stared at Zim. "Crazy, Earth filth," Zim pointed as Erika. "Do you know where we may find your friend?"

"Well," Erika dug through her packets. "I have a old piece of gum, a ketchup packet, a tracking device, a pokeball-,"

"Gimme that!" Zim said, taking the tracking device. "Aha! The genius of ZIM! has found you're friend." He began walking out. "Come along all of you-,"

"Wait a minute," dib protested, coming to his senses. "Why do you care?"

Zim glared at Dib. "NONSENSE! Dib-stink! The girl hasn't helped me in my HORRIBLY GENIUS PLAN! She is still of some value to me."

"Uh-huh, sure," Dib argued.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Zim yelled.

"I think you like that penguin cave girl," Dib taunted.

"Don't be so foolish, worm-baby!" Zim retorted. "The almighty ZIM! does not 'like' anyone. Besides I think YOU 'like her!" Zim pointed to Erika, who was busy playing with her pokeball.

"Real mature, Zim," Dib said, folding his arms. "Turning this around on me to hid you'r own feelings."

"Your death is already imminent, Dib-jerk," Zim threatened. "And when that comes not even that FILTHY girl of your affections will save you."

They both stared at Erika, who smiled gleefully…totally unaware.

………………

Katt woke up. Weary and hot. She was used to the cold terrain of Antarctica, certainly not this. When did America get desert anyway?

She presided to cleaning her feet. She didn't care how long it would take, she knew she'd be rescued, and she wanted to look her best. Once she was done making herself as presentable as she could at the moment, she found herself extremely bored. She sighed. "I hope they can find me," she stated.

Suddenly, a large whistling noise came from above. Katt looked up to see Zim's ship hovering over her. She smiled as the lift was lowered and happily climbed aboard.

"Katt!" Erika said happily. She held out her arms. Katt ran toward her, arms wide open, but instead of embracing Erika, Katt ran to Zim and hugged him.

"Yay! You saved me!" Katt hopped around crazily, practically choking the little Irken.

"What…no," Zim scolded. "Release me you evil Earth pest! RELEASE ME!"

Katt sat him down still smiling. "Gosh, calm down, Zim. I was just thanking you."

"Think nothing of it, penguin ruler," Zim replied. "I, ZIM! have saved your life for one purpose. You made me deal, which I intend you to uphold."

"Oh," Katt said, trying to hide her slight disappointment. "I…I thought you were paying me back for saving you."

Zim stared at Katt silently as they departed back to suburbia. As they flew along, Zim couldn't help but ask, "By the way, penguin Earth girl, why did you save me?"

Katt smiled sheepishly. "Come on, what kind of wife would I be if I let Dib kill you?"

"Taquitos!" Gir screamed, thrashing at Zim's pants.

"Okay, Gir." Zim sighed and pulled a taquito out of his pants, placing it on the Gir's nose like a dog biscuit.

"That's what the lump was," Katt said.

"Why did you have a taquito in your pants?" Dib asked him.

"You want to be in his pants!" Erika shouted.

"What?" The floating computerized face of Dib's father appeared. Zim panicked. Luckily, he had his disguise with him and quickly put it on.

"Oldest offspring," Prof. Membrane said. "There's a scary agent here asking for the foreign child and some penguin empress."

Everyone looked at Zim and Katt while Gir munched happily on the taquito.

"He says he's from," Prof. Membrane announced, "the GOVERNMENT!"

Erika, Katt, and Zim screamed. Zim realized that he and Katt had embraced each other and they jumped away and screamed some more.

"Wait," dib turned to Erika, "why are you screaming?"

Erika shuttered. "Bush is so stupid."

Dib rolled his eyes and looked a Lizz and Gir, who were cuddling, then Katt and Zim, who stood back to back, whistling.

"So in denial," Dib muttered.

"What was that, creatin?!" the empress and invader shouted at the pale boy, shaking their fists. They eyed each other again then went back to whistling.

"Son," Dib's father said. "Tell the foreign child and his girlfriend to be here at seven tomorrow." He disappeared. Dib turned to see Erika holding Katt and Lizz and Gir hold Zim. Zim finally calmed down and returned to steering. He gave Dib one last look of loath. "FILTHY worm-baby!"

Dib shrugged and returned to his seat. Katt, however, was not done. "You are so dead, Dib-dweeb!" Katt growled. She sat next to Zim in the front.

"What did I do?!" Dib complained. Both Zim and Katt eyed him hatefuly, then turned back foreword.

Erika looked at her wrist watch. "Hey, it's only 2:00 PM! Let's go get some chow!"

Whoa," Lizz said, "This day is really long."

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Reviews Welcomed.