A/N: Ciaossu! Thanks to everyone who reviewed or put my story on the Favourite/Alert list. Can you guys please leave me a review? It's kind of disheartening how you see only one review for your latest chapter (thanks GOKOA)… I'm not asking you to leave me a really long review, I'll be happy if you just told me what you think in a few words or sentences.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry potter. I do have a harry potter obsession and I own the plot of this fanfiction, does that count?
Chapter 7
"I wish you were still alive. Then maybe you can give me advice on what to do and whether Draco and Luna spoke the truth," Harry said quietly to Dumbledore's tombstone.
He was at Hogworts, trying to sort out his thoughts. It was nighttime, but Professor McGonagall had given him permission to stay for that long.
"I've been thinking, and sometimes what they said does make sense to me. Do you think it's just wishful thinking on my part or am I really not at fault for so many deaths? Sometimes I just wish that I wasn't Harry Potter, the Chosen One. I wish I was just… just Harry Potter, with a normal life."
His words hung in the cool night air, unanswered. He knelt down to gently trace the engravings on the tombstone, his eyes welling with tears as he thought back to that fateful day when he saw Snape murder Dumbledore, when Dumbledore had fallen off the Astronomy Tower…
However Snape had not murdered Dumbledore. He was merely acting on Dumbledore's orders. It was not Snape's fault that Albus died.
How he wished he could say the same for himself that he was not at fault for all the deaths in the war.
"Do you think that it was my fault?"
The question was, of course, left unanswered. Harry slowly rose from Dumbledore's grave and walked away, his footprints making impressions on the freshly-fallen snow.
He Apparated to the cemetery where all those who had fallen in the war were buried. It was a big cemetery and few visitors were there. They paid no attention to him, far more occupied with paying their respects to their loved ones.
He walked down the rows of tombstones, familiar names leaping out at him. He knelt by a row of tombstones.
Here lies Remus Lupin…
Here lies Nymphadora Tonks…
He felt his eyes fill up with tears of pain. "I'm so sorry," he whispered hoarsely. "I'm sure you would have been wonderful parents. Teddy is doing fine, by the way. He's really mischievous, though. He ate an entire batch of freshly-baked cookies from Molly despite us warning him it wasn't good for his small stomach last week and fell sick after that. He's fine now, though. He sometimes asks why he doesn't have parents like other children, and that's where I feel really guilty. How exactly do I answer him? So I tell him, every time he asks that question, that his parents were great warriors who fought in the war on the good side. I told him now they're up there, in the sky, looking after him in their own way. Sometimes Teddy doesn't believe me and he becomes really moody and throws a tantrum, but he's sure to come out of his funk a few hours later, and he always apologises to me. He even told me once that he knows I must have been close to you two, since I always look so sad when I mention them. He told me not to be upset, and that he would grow up to be like his parents-always on the good side, always fighting for a better future." Tears slid down flushed cheeks. "He's a true Gryffindor, that one. I know you are proud of him."
I just wish you could be alive and tell me you are proud of me, too. I wish you were here to tell me what to believe, he added silently in his head, his hands clasped and head bowed, as if in reverent prayer.
And in a way, he was.
He was praying for forgiveness
He walked on to another grave after laying flowers on the graves of Tonks and Lupin.
"Fred…"
He took a deep breath and knelt. He began to talk.
He talked to Fred about his twin who was constantly in a daze, as if he was living in his own bubble. He talked about how sometimes George was in his usual good mood, as if Fred was still with him. Everyone could tell George was heartbroken, but they could not provide George with empty words of comfort. He had lost his twin, his other half. No amount of comforting words would make him feel any better. He told Fred how George sometimes still asked Molly and the others where Fred was, why he was late for dinner. At those times, George was at his worst. Molly and everyone would exchange worried glances, not knowing what to do, for though he acted like he had forgotten about Fred's death, they could see the pain in George's eyes- a plea for them to act along, like his twin was still living.
"It's just so horrible seeing him like that, Fred. If you can hear me, will you please visit George in a dream and try convincing him to move on? Can you do that from where you are?" Harry asked softly, laying a bouquet of flowers on Fred's tombstone.
He was kneeling, head bowed, hands clasped, as if in reverent prayer once more.
This time he prayed for someone to understand the pain everyone and him were going through.
"My godfather, I'm so sorry. I could have cleared your name so you could have lived a better life, but I didn't. I wish I did, though. I was just too late."
So he sat and told Sirius of the pain he was going through, the nightmares he had been having.
"I'm so sorry."
He placed both hands on his heart, eyes closed, in prayer once more. This time he was praying to escape the shadows of his heart.
Later, when Dennis Creevey, brother of Collin Creevey, walked to the cemetery where his dear brother was buried, he noticed something strange.
There was a bouquet of flowers on each and every grave in the cemetery, with the same footprints on the snow around each tombstone.
He blinked in amazement. This was the first time someone had done something like this. Next to the bouquet of flowers was a burning candle, a small flame flickering on the wick, protected from the cold by a spell.
Who had done this?
He spun around, trying to find the persom, and finally spotted somebody hurrying away from the cemetery, his back to Dennis. In his hands were another bouquet of flowers, which he lay by the cemetery gate. The stranger waved his wand, and flowers from the bouquet sprung up to entwine themselves around the gate.
"Hey! Was it you who put the flowers and the candles?" Dennis called, jogging up to the stranger.
The stranger froze and hastily Apparated away.
Dennis cocked his head to a side. Why didn't the stranger stop?
"Hey, brother, did you see that? That man was a real nice guy to leave so many flowers and candles here… I wish I knew who he was," Dennis told the tombstone of his brother, a smile on his face.
"I want to thank him for being so incredibly kind."
He was finally at peace.
Harry Potter lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. His actions had brought him some closure. Maybe I should thank Luna and Draco for speaking sense into me. If my condition was to spiral out of control and I was to kill myself, I would be leaving so many loved ones behind. They were right; those deaths are not my fault. I had done all I could to protect them. They knew they could die and yet they gladly fought in the war to protect their loved ones. They did not die for me, but for their loved ones. I still don't like being named the Saviour, though. I don't deserve that title-everyone who fought in the war on our side is our own Saviours, Harry thought, rolling over to lie on his side.
Through the window, he could see a rainbow forming in the sky, and the sun appearing to chase away the snow.
Hope appearing, to chase away the shadows, to melt the coldness of your depression.
A new beginning. A fresh start.
What better way to get rid of the shadows of your heart?
A/N: I am so sad to say that this story, Shadows of a Heart, is now completed. I'm sorry that it was only seven chapters long, but then again, I had not wanted or intended it to be twenty chapters long. I kind of expected it to be ten chapters long, but when I began writing this chapter, I felt a sense of finality. Hence this is the end of SOAH. However, I'm glad to announce that I shall be writing more fanfictions in the future, so be sure to be on the lookout for new fanfictions from me! I thank everyone for their support and please remember to leave a review! I hope this story has been inspirational to you if you are currently going through a tough time. I had my own shadows of a heart and I managed to find a new beginning with the help of my friends and family, hence the slight inspiration for this story. Anyway, school's starting soon so I can't guarantee when my new fanfictions will appear, but if you guys want to read more of my work, PM me or tell me in a review and I shall tell you the name of my other account. Remember to look out for new stories from me in the future and leave a review!
Saynora,
KaseyDaaeChamberlain
P.S. I wish you all a happy start to 2013.
