Kindness
It was clear to both watchers when Lissandra woke up. She went from sleep to completely still in the space of a breath. Then she started to cry silently. Cass looked at Iriana who shrugged and waved for him to speak. Lissandra lay in a bed that might have been cloned from the one Cass woke in, in a room that looked almost identical. She wore a patient gown and little else.
"Lissandra?" Cass asked slowly as he moved in his chair. She turned to stare at him and her eyes opened a little, tears still falling. "Don't cry, girl. It is all right." He laid a hand on hers.
"They won't kill me, Sergeant!" Lissandra cried as Cass held her hand. "I begged and they won't! It is what Tenno do and they won't!" He started to hum softly and then whistled just as softly. She stilled. "I..."
"Cold, the air and water flowing." Cass sang and Lissandra slowly relaxed as he continued. "Hard, the land we call our home."
"Push, to keep the dark from coming." Lissandra joined in, her tears stopping as she closed her eyes to focus on her singing. "Feel the weight of what we owe."
"Fortuna." Iriana said very softly. "Both of you." Cass nodded, but did not look away from Lissandra as she continued to sing and he matched her words.
'This, the song of sons and daughters
Hide, the heart of who we are
Making peace to build our future
Strong, united, working 'til we fall.'
They finished the chorus of the folk tune and Lissandra sighed deeply. She looked at Cass and she started crying again, but this time, quieter.
"Why can't I be strong?" Lissandra asked through her tears. "Why can't I be brave? My mom was brave after my dad was killed. She knew the troops were coming and she went out anyway because there were wounded out there. She wasn't political. She just wanted to make a difference." She bowed her head and Cass moved to sit on the bed beside her.
"I ask myself that sometimes. I am the only survivor from my gang." Lissandra stared at him in confusion and he shrugged. "Anyo's goons got sick of us outrunning them so they gassed us like feral Kubrow whenever they found our hideouts. It was only a matter of time until they got us all. One day, I was out grinding and when I got back, everyone was dead." Cass said quietly. Lissandra stared at him through streaming eyes and Cass sighed. "My parents were killed in a mining accident when I was four. Too small and scrawny to work, so, I joined the Vent Kids." Lissandra opened her mouth, closed it and then smiled a bit faintly. "What?" Cass asked.
"Do you consider Skeg to be music?" Lissandra asked slyly and Cass groaned. "Hey, it is a valid question."
"You are bad, girl." Iriana said from where she stood and Lissandra jumped just a little. She stared at Iriana and frowned. "Yes?" The Healer asked.
"Where do I know you from?" Lissandra said slowly. "I know your voice, but not your face. You were kind. I was very confused when I woke." Her face flamed, but Iriana just smiled.
"No one is at their best waking up from anesthesia, Lissandra. Especially since we had to do some fairly hefty doses to keep you out for the surgery. I took no offense." Iriana reassured her and Lissandra relaxed. "I did introduce myself, but you were not tracking well so I doubt you remember. My name is Iriana."
"The name is familiar too." Lissandra mused. "But I don't know you. I… I think I should. You are memorable." She said weakly.
"Thank you." Iriana moved to the chair that Cass had been in and sat. "Were you on duty in the Clergy hospital when my daughter Mishka was injured?"
Lissandra stared at Iriana and then she stiffened. "Mishka G-52? Wait. You… You were in the MOA!" She gawped as realization dawned and Iriana smiled agreement.
"Yes, I was. It wasn't pleasant, but it was needed." Iriana reached out to take Lissandra's other hand. "You were called in?"
"Everyone was. I removed the toxin once it was neutralized. We didn't know why the Reverend Mother was so frightened. Yes, Mishka G-52's injuries were very bad, but until the Reverend Mother explained, after the girl vanished with Mercedes and so many others… I didn't understand." Lissandra said weakly. "I couldn't help her but so much. I tried."
"You and the Clergy doctors saved her life." Iriana reassured the distraught girl. "She is alive, well and has a hard job that she is very good at. You helped her. She will be by at some point to talk to you. Probably to thank you in person. But if you get her started playing Skeg, you will have problems." She warned. "Many people do not consider that music."
"I do not consider Skeg music!" Lissandra agreed quickly.
"It was mostly a form of protest." Cass smiled at the two females as they stared at him. "Life bangs you up? You bang life up." He shrugged as both glared at him. "Hey! I was nine when I left!"
"What am I going to do?" Lissandra begged. "I can't go back to Neptune! If Anyo knows..." She started to cry again and Cass gave her hand a squeeze.
"For right now? You are safe here. You do not need to go anywhere or do anything." Iriana promised. "You have been abused again and there are always costs to such. My recommendation is to rest for a bit, eat, and then do some gentle exercise. And..." She looked at Cass and her eyes seemed to prod him. He shook his head and her face set. "Sergeant." She growled.
"I was never interested, Healer." Cass said quietly. "Such was a means to an end for me after what I went though escaping from Venus. The Company required it, so I did what I had to, but I never enjoyed it and the girls knew it."
"Enjoyed what?" Lissandra stared at him and then her eyes widened." What happened to you?"
"Lots of things." Cass replied, looking away. "This is not about me..." He paused as Iriana slapped his arm with her free hand. Not hard, but enough to sting. "Healer!"
"This is about the both of you." Iriana said firmly. She looked at Lissandra who nodded slowly. "You are nurse trained. You understand how the body works. Have you studied the mind?"
"Some." Lissandra said weakly. "I… I have had time to study, but there is a lot to learn." Iriana nodded with a small smile.
"Indeed there is and I bet you know just as I do that we will never know it all." The bedridden girl nodded soberly. "That said, we have options now that were denied us even a few short months ago." Iriana smiled at the girl's sudden confusion. "The sergeant is hurting and so are you. Both of you were thrown together into a horrible experience. You helped each other and you both care for each other." She held up a hand when Lissandra started to speak. "I know what happened to you and what you are now. And you know what? I don't care!" She gave Lissandra's hand another squeeze as Lissandra stilled. "You are a good person, Lissandra. We Tenno understand horror firsthand. We know about living far longer than our peers." Lissandra stared at her and then burst into tears. "That is your worst fear, isn't it?"
"I don't want to outlive everyone I LOVE!" Lissandra sobbed through her tears. "I can't do that again! I am not strong enough!"
"So, you push everyone away. You figure that if you don't feel, it will hurt less." Iriana's tone hardened and Lissandra buried her face in her hands. "I won't let you do that to yourself, girl. I have been there."
"You?" Lissandra asked, her tear streaked face coming up to stare at the healer.
"Yes, me." Iriana sighed and relaxed. "You helped my daughter, so you know I have her." Lissandra nodded, mystified. "Her father left as soon as she was born. I only found out recently why and it is bad, but he left me to raise her alone. I was in love and he left." The Healer shook her head. "It hurt very badly and for a time, I withdrew from everyone, but my daughter needed me, so I came back." She looked at the floor. "It wasn't easy. What you face now is just as hard as what I did then. But you are not alone. The sergeant is here. I am here. I bet Mishka will feel the same way. We want to help. Killing you, while perhaps simpler, is not a good answer. You do not deserve that."
"BUT I WANT IT!" Lissandra shouted and then sobbed hard.
Cass sighed and then moved to sit beside her. He pulled her up and held her as she cried. For her part. Iriana shifted until she could lay her hands on Lissandra's shoulders, giving what strength she could.
"No, you don't." Iriana said as her hands started to rub, soothing sore muscles, easing tightness. "You are tired, sick, hurting, all of that, but you do not want to die. You want your life to start making sense and your pain to go away. I am sorry I cannot help with that." She smiled at Cass who shifted uncomfortably. "I can help with this. You are going to have to take the lead. He won't."
"I don't know what to do." Lissandra said weakly. Iriana stared at her and Lissandra turned pleading eyes to the Healer. "I never… They let me use the machines since I can't have kids… I..."
"I see." Iriana sighed deeply and then nodded. "Sergeant, take off your shirt." That was not a suggestion.
"Ma'am!" Cass protested as Lissandra stared at her.
"I am a Healer. This is a wound that needs healing. You both have issues. I do not." Iriana replied. "I am not body shy after so many years working medicine. Neither of you have anything I haven't seen before in general anatomy sense, and you both are hurting." She glared at Cass. "Are you going to argue with me?"
"Don't!" Lissandra said quickly as Cass opened his mouth. "You didn't see what happened in the hospital. She walked right in, in a MOA, and didn't take any crap from anyone!" She stared at Iriana, fear and hope warring in her eyes. "I don't know, Healer. Part of me wants it. Part of me is terrified."
"The first time for real is always a bit scary." Iriana reassured her. "You worry if something will hurt, or break or stop, or whatever. Machines do make more sense, usually, but they cannot measure up to a trained partner." Her tone was gentle as she reached for the fasteners to Lissandra's patient gown. "Just relax and let us do the work. Okay? I guarantee you will enjoy this." She looked at Cass whose face was flaming. "So will you."
"If… If he doesn't want to..." Lissandra said weakly.
"Oh, he wants to." Iriana said with a slightly evil smile. Cass stared at her and her smile turned downright sly. "I am linked into the medical systems here. I can read your vitals, Sergeant. Elevated heart rate, increased blood flow to certain places… Need I go on?" Lissandra giggled at his expression.
"Tempted to hack those right now." Cass started, only to pause as Iriana shook her head.
"Don't." Iriana warned him. "The Tenno here do not trust anyone from outside. If they lose vital scan downlink or it even fuzzes, you are likely to have three or four warframes run in with weapons drawn. They would not be polite in such a case."
"I don't want to hurt Lissandra." Cass said softly. "And anyone I care for gets hurt."
"She was already hurt, Sergeant." Iriana had Lissandra's gown loose now and held it in place with her fingers. "So are you. This might help you both start on the road to healing." She smirked as Lissandra stared at her. "Even if not? You are both far too tense."
"Lissandra." Cass would not meet her eyes.
"I am afraid." Lissandra said very softly. "But I know you won't hurt me."
"I never intend to hurt anyone but enemies, but I am no good at this interpersonal stuff." Cass replied, not moving at all.
"And how often have you practiced?" Iriana inquired. Cass shook his head, glowering at her but she was unfazed. She shook her head. "Don't make me get the Commander, or worse the Reverend Mother, in here to order you to do it. I will if I have to." That was a promise.
"I… This is wrong." Cass rose and started to undo his shirt.
"Very little about this situation is right." Iriana agreed. "But I can and will help you both. And look at it this way…" Both of the humans stared at her as her grin widened. "Neither of you will have any difficulty sleeping after this."
"We are doomed, aren't we?" Lissandra asked Cass who sighed and nodded.
"Looks like it." Cass had his shirt off and was puzzled for a moment as to where to put it. He folded it neatly and laid it on the chair he had been in a minute before. Then he smiled. "But what a way to go!"
"You are bad, sergeant!" Lissandra and Iriana chorused, but both smiled wide as Iriana released the gown and Lissandra held it up.
"Okay, children. Sex Ed 101." Iriana smiled as she slid back into the other chair on the other side of the bed. "Do I need to start at the very beginning?" Both looked blank and she sighed. "As in 'boy humans and girl humans are different'?"
"Eh, no." Cass stammered as Lissandra gulped out a negative as well.
"Good." Iriana nodded to Cass and then at Lissandra. "This is a totally natural thing and a totally understandable thing. That said, this act and misconceptions about this act have caused more problems throughout human history than every single war put together." She shook her head as both looked baffled. "Any relationship that is meant to last more than a day has to include communication. Talk to each other. I don't care what you say. Just say something and mean it."
"Ummm." Cass swallowed. "You are pretty." Lissandra flushed at the compliment and then she swallowed when he shut his mouth.
"I am afraid of what I will do." Lissandra said to both of them. "I mean… The tech inside me is all bio-tech. It isn't anything that I can stop."
"I bet you can." Iriana reassured her. The girl stared at her and Iriana shrugged. "You don't have tubes sprouting out of you all of the time so it stands to reason that the nutcase who did this planned on some kind of control. Either you or some external control."
"I just lay down beside someone who is hurt and it happens." Lissandra said weakly "When I lie down beside someone who is not, nothing happens."
"Well, that is good." Iriana said and then glowered at Cass who clamped his mouth shut. "One word about tentacle porn and I will hurt you."
"I was never into that!" Cass said savagely enough that both women stared at him. He slumped a bit, turning away.
"Sergeant?" Lissandra rose from the bed, ignoring the gown that fell off her. "What is wrong?" She reached for him and stiffened as she touched him. "You are shivering. Why are you…? Oh no." She snarled at herself and pulled him close. "Whatever it was, it is over."
"No it is not." Cass said in a monotone. "The guy… The rail agent whose ship I stowed away on to get away… He was into that. Full sensory holographic pornography, preferably with the… tentacles. He was overjoyed when he found me, enslaved me. I was perfect for his 'shows'." He was breathing hard as Lissandra hugged him tight.
"A nine year old." Iriana breathed, horrified. "Damn those Corpus scum! Damn them all!"
"How did you get away?" Lissandra begged, leading Cass to the bed.
"Didn't." Cass swallowed hard as she sat him down. "He sold me to… To the crime syndicate who used me to hack things. They… They kept me in line… I..."
"I see." Iriana sighed and rose, moving to stand by the pair as Cass shuddered and Lissandra crooned to him. "Then you both need to see how pleasant such can be. To erase the old, bad memories and replace them with new, pleasant ones." She laid a hand on Cass' arm and power flared from her fingers. He gasped and relaxed. "All that does is push them back a bit, sergeant. They won't go away, especially not if you really become a Cyberlancer. But if you have better memories, newer ones..."
"They will take the place of the bad." Lissandra finished when Iriana trailed off. She hugged Cass tight. "What say we both tell the Corpus what they do with their horror, Sergeant?"
"Please call me 'Cass'." The man said as Lissandra reached for his pants.
"One thing, then Cass." Lissandra said very quietly as she laid Cass down on the bed. "Is the one who did that to you dead?"
"Yes." Cass said flatly. He was clearly not expecting Lissandra to smile and kiss him. "What?"
"Good. Then I don't have to kill him myself." Lissandra kissed him again and whatever he was going to say was cut off as Iriana smiled.
"I may not have to teach much at all." Iriana smirked as Lissandra made a rude gesture at her. "You are a natural."
Several hours later
It had been a night to remember. Both Cass and Lissandra were exhausted, but both were energized as well. Sleep wasn't coming for them. Instead, they sat and talked for quite a while after the healer had been called away. Neither wanted to sully the wonderful memories with inexpert fumbling. Both wore sleeping garments now, but neither wanted to sleep. Both had shared things that they hadn't shared with anyone else expect psychiatrists, and both felt much better after a night of pleasure and in each other's company.
That said, Cass was a veteran of combat, so when something flashed nearby, he grabbed Lissandra despite her shriek and covered her with his own body as the flash of purple energy faded. Both humans stared at the small lavender hologram that stood in one corner. The holographic lavender Kavat!
Don't be like that. Liriel, the Cyberlancer Queen of Cats, said in her non-verbal way. Cass stared at her, eyes huge as her lavender code swept around the room. This is just to keep everyone else from butting in. We need to talk.
"Yeah." Cass gulped. "I think we do."
