"Joseph, it's not that it was a bad idea per se. In fact, had it been any other scenario it would have worked out beautifully. It's just that, in this certain context-"
"It was retarded."
"One hundred percent retarded, yes. Thank you Caesar."
"Oi! Why the hell are you two in cahoots with each other! I thought we were friends, Dean!"
"We are friends," I said, leaning a bit away from the overgrown child that was all up in my face. "It's just that, while the idea with the shirt rope was utterly inspired, it was doomed for failure right from the get go."
He turned away from me, we'll practiced crocodile tears falling from his face. "Such a cruel man you are, Mr Domino! And here I thought that you truly cared for me!"
The Italian gave me a look that was asking what the hell was going on. I just kind of shrugged back, because this is usually what happens. Joseph is the kind of guy that just likes the spotlight always on him, and that usually translates to over the top reactions. Still though, I can outplay him.
"Mr Joestar," I said softly as I laid my hand upon his shoulder and gently turned his face towards my own. "You should know by now that all I do for you is out of the desire to protect you. All that I do is for you is done out of the love that I have for you."
"Oh Dean," Joseph swooned. "I had no idea of your true feelings for me, I fear that I may faint from the shock!" He leaned into my chest and looked into my eyes.
"Do not fear, Joseph, for I shall always be there to catch you," I tell him with a loving look on my face.
My blue eyes met with his green ones, and we were locked that way for several seconds. And all the while I could feel Caesar's utterly confused gaze upon us.
"Pfffffft," neither of us could hold it in, the scene was too bizarre for us to stay serious. And before either of us had time to blink, we were on the floor holding our guts from how hard we were laughing.
"I'm surrounded by idiots," the blonde said into his hands, not being able to look at us straight.
There truly is no homo between a Jojo and his Jobro.
Now you may be asking "But Dean, aren't you guys supposed to be training like you're in DBZ?" To which I shall respond "Did you really think that all of our time here would be spent on training?" For any real training program to actually be effective, there must always be off time in order for both your body and mind to heal, to process what had previously happened and prepare for what will later come. And right now, it was a few hours after climbing the giant pillar covered in oil. We had slept in order to prepare ourselves for what the teachers, Messina and Loggins, had for us the day after. Well, more specifically for Joseph and Caesar. I was to train almost exclusively under Lisa Lisa.
Ah, before I forget, there was a good thing about undergoing the whole pillar scenario.
Not only did I get 13 VIT and 7 DEX, I did something that was absolutely amazing. I managed to max out [Hamon].
Hamon - Lvl MAX - Hamon is an energy used in the ancient form of martial arts, Sendō, and is instrumental for fighting vampires.
250% damage with Hamon
250% reduced cost for Hamon abilities
50% chance for critical
100% healing speed
50% better control of living things using Hamon
Capable of fortune telling
50% chance to unlock another's ability to use Hamon
Yeah, that's fucking awesome right there, isn't it? Apparently, level 50 is the max for skills.
Now from what I'm told by the magic pink boxes that continually plague my life, is that after a skill reaches the max level, it gains an additional effect that is sometimes completely broken. For most of the combat focused skills, like [Unarmed] for example, you get a chance to do a 1-hit KO so long as they are under or, at most, 5 levels above your own. For passive skills like [Sense Danger], results vary. If that isn't handy, I don't know what is. The [Hamon] skill is a bit of an oddball, though, as it gave me two abilities, the fortune telling ability and the fifty/fifty chance to unlock a person's [Hamon].
"You're just saying that because you're jealous, aren't ya," Joseph almost sneered at the Italian. "You want to BA a part of all this action," he accentuated that final part with a flamboyant pose.
"Hmph, hardly. I'm simply astounded by how much I put up with around you uncultured barbarians."
"Look on the bright side," I start. "As the sole 'sane man' of the group, you also hold all of our dignity. That's a mighty important role."
"Oh yes, because Mary knows what you two would do if you held even a scrap of it in your pockets. Why, you may even act like normal humans."
"The day he acts normal," I point towards Jojo. "Is the day I will stab a leprechaun with a unicorn horn."
"Is it sad that I completely believe you?"
"Not sad, only realistic."
"Oi! Stop it you two!"
What amounted to an iron suit attached to my body was both increasingly heavy and uncomfortable. This thing was about as heavy as a motorcycle, which are around 400 pounds, just for reference. I mean, I could handle it, but it was just so uncomfortable. Like a worse version of when you're in bed and your girlfriend golden retriever jump on top of you and don't get off.
"Are you sure I can't just swim laps around the island with them," I ask my… what do I call her? Master? Teacher? Sensei? Thoughts for a different day.
"Oh, you'll definitely be doing that," she said, eyeing me to make sure that it was secured correctly. "But first, you'll need to be able to move naturally in that suit on land. We wouldn't want our best chance at saving humanity to drown because he got over confident, do we?" Wow, that's incredibly sassy and unneeded.
"Alright, I completely walked into that one, I will admit. But seriously, what are we doing? Am I just going to do a number of rudimentary exercises until my STR goes up?"
Lisa Lisa smirked as she pulled out from behind her two large duffle bags. One obviously filled with books, while the other was a complete mystery for now.
"First off, these are those… skill books you asked for. Read those and we'll get to the second bag shortly."
I just shrugged and went to work with my current assignment.
Unarmed - Lvl MAX - Sometimes, it simply comes down to fisticuffs vs fisticuffs.
250% extra unarmed damage
250% increased unarmed speed
50% chance for critical
50% stunning chance
50% DEF ignored
Once a month, you have a chance to instantly kill an enemy while unarmed that is, at most, 5 levels higher than you
Ranged Weapon Mastery - Lvl 42 - Nothing is more satisfying than hitting one thing with another thing from really far away.
210% extra ranged damage
210% extra ranged speed
100% accuracy
50% chance for critical
50% increased reload speed
20% increased ricochet control
Stealth - Lvl 23 - Shadows can hide many dangerous things, and you're one of them!
100% success in stealth
100% less sound made
15% movement speed
Melee Mastery - Lvl 14 - Past, present, or future, no one can deny the beauty nor the brutality of a well used melee weapon.
70% melee damage
70% melee speed
Physical Endurance - Lvl 8 - As many wise fathers worded it, pain is weakness leaving the body.
8% ignore pain
4% less damage received
Oh yeah, I'm so happy with this I may cry tears of joy! And this confirmed a theory of mine that could be potentially broken; I can absorb the same skill book twice so long as they're in different languages, and I can read them! Oh man, when I learn all the languages, I'm going to abuse the absolute shit out of this potential bug in the game!
But yeah, [Unarmed] is the most affected by this, and [Ranged Weapons] is definitely higher up on that list, and I'm totally going to experiment with that ricochet control and mix that in with a bit of [Spin].
"Are you done, Dean? Good. Now we can move onto the fun part. Well, fun for me at least." With that, she pulled out various amounts of three different items.
First was a large jar of some sort of liquid with a familiar pair of gloves on top of it. Next was an ungodly amount of hair brushes, exactly like the kind that I use. And finally, it was a tommy gun with a large ammo box to go along with it. My mind was slowly contorting into fear as my mind put the pieces together into one horrifying image.
ゴ
ゴ
ゴ
ゴ
"We're going to start off fairly simple, with you dodging various bubbles much like Caesar's. After you're capable of flawlessly dodging all of them, we shall move onto using your brushes, which are both smaller and faster. When you can dodge those, we'll start with bullets. And each time you progress to the next level, we will add another 20 kilograms to your metal training gear. This is in no way a viable training strategy for any normal living creature, but thanks to your ability will allow us to use this with maximum results."
Oh Lord Araki have mercy on my soul…
Two weeks into the training and I'm already noticing a massive boost to my Stats, so the she-devil-who-haunts-my-nightmares allowed me to go work on the dungeon, granted I had to use [Hamon] to water walk over there, but still. Contrary to what I did with the [NYC Dungeon], I'm going to go in and blitz my way through as much as possible. I had the time to spare being cautious and grind carefully, but now is different.
And if this dungeon ends up having humans inside as the enemies, that just means I can practice with my new steel balls!
… that came out wrong…
Let's… let's just get this over with…
The world around me morphed into a pretty similar environment, all things considered. It still felt like we were still in Italy, or at least a large city by the sea, because the architecture around us was decidedly not Italian. And it was at that moment that my new enemy type revealed itself.
[Buggy Pirate Goon, Lvl 5]
200 HP
0 MP
Buggy Pirate Goon? As in Buggy, the gag character from One Piece? My opponents this time around are characters from One Piece. I don't know if I'm mentally prepared for this.
You know, I can't really tell with the Grimm, but do enemies end up stuck in a time loop? Like, they're forced to live only to end up being killed over and over again, but do they remember? Questions for a later date.
The goon fires a few bullets at me, which I manage to dodge before throwing a steel ball his way. See, in preparation for this I had asked for a book on human physiology in order to better utilize the [Spin], in order to get similar results to what Gyro could do. He trained to be a surgeon in order to bring out the best of his [Spin], so I think I should do something similar.
All I can say about this little experiment is that while it looks cool in the manga, it's very disturbing to watch it in real life.
So I walked around the town for a bit, playing around with the various morbid effects of my -I want to say third- supernatural skill as I got closer to the giant circus tent in the distance when I ran into something I certainly didn't expect.
Mini-bosses.
[Lion Tamer]
Mohji
700 / 700 HP
0 / 0 MP
[Acrobat]
Cabaji
700 / 700 HP
0 / 0 MP
[Iron Mace]
Alvida
1,000 / 1,000 HP
Infinite MP
Yeah, that one weird dude on the unicycle, the guy who kind of looks like a lion, and Alvida. In her hot version. With Infinite MP. And she's hot. Why am I focusing on that!
The last time we had sex was two months before we "died," the logical part of my brain explained. That means that we've been a blue-balled teenager for the better part of a year, so even with [Gamer's Mind] keeping your hormones in check, it's not easy.
Huh. That certainly explains why I've been more perverted than usual lately.
And while I could give into my base desires and ask if she wants to go a few rounds, I really should just focus on beating them for now. At least until I learn if they're stuck in a time loop. Priorities!
Now, onto my enemies. Infinite MP is probably related to her Devil Fruit, but I can't remember what exactly it was. Was it honey? Wait, no, that was a movie villain. I think it has to do with her weight…
"Get him, Richie!"
Something shot towards me, and on reflex I backhanded it away.
[You have received 500 exp, $50, and a [Lion Pelt]!]
Now that I look at it, isn't that the giant lion? Huh. I just backhanded a lion to death. Neat.
And while all of them looked ready to piss themselves, the lion guy looked more pissed than anything.
"Y-you killed Richie! You bastard!" He pulled out a whip and attempted to attack me. As he brought it down on me, I caught it in my hand, ignoring the slight sting, and pulled him towards my fist.
[(213+(213×2.5))=745.5 damage!]
[You have received 500 exp, $50, and a [Whip]!]
Is it wrong that I thought it was cool how I made his head explode?
The other two started to run after that, but I stopped that with some well aimed steel balls, making them "temporarily" lose the ability to use their legs. Then I just gave them quick deaths as a thanks for leveling up my [Spin Mastery].
"At this rate, I'm starting to think I'm a sociopath," I muttered to myself. I mean seriously, I just crushed these people's skulls and didn't feel a hint of disgust for my actions! I may need to see a shrink at some point.
That little escapade was- quite worryingly- quickly forgotten about as I made my way up towards the top of the… I want to say it's a hill. What do you call a part of a city that's been elevated so it towers everything else? Bah, doesn't matter. All that matters was the boss that was now in front of me.
[Star Clown]
Buggy
5,000 / 5,000 HP
Infinite MP
Ah, yes. This motherfucker.
"Are you the little shit responsible for killing my crew," the clown screeched. "When I'm done with you, I'm gonna-"
I promptly shut him up with a flurry of punches to the face. I admit, I want to see how the [Spin] would affect him, especially when his body was segmented, but I just wanted to see how far I could go in this dungeon. Experiments for later.
Side note, he did end up having an interesting item on him that started a quest.
[Quest Added]
[Legacy of the Straw Hat Pirates!]
The Straw Hat Pirates are some of the most fearsome pirates anyone can go against. .
Objectives:
Receive [Usopp's Kuro Kabuto]
Receive [Nami's Upgraded Sorcery Clima-Tact]
Receive [Brook's Violin]
Receive [Nico Robin's Book]
Receive [Franky's Cyborg Parts]
Receive [Chopper's Backpack]
Receive [Sanji's Shoes]
Receive [Jinbei's Robes]
Receive [Roronoa Zoro's Wado Ichimonji]
Receive [Monkey D Luffy's Straw Hat]
Rewards:
1,000,000 Exp
[Thousand Sunny]
?
I was going to enjoy this. I was going to enjoy this very much.
Caesar Zeppeli crashed onto his bed exhausted. With only a week left before their fated meeting with the Pillar Men, his and Joseph's teachers had amped up their training regimen, causing it to become all that much more gruelling.
In that time, the two of them had developed a strong friendship and a healthy rivalry. He looked over to the other side of the room, which was made to hold at least six people, and saw the Joestar reading a comic book. From the cover, it seemed to be about a mystery. Well, at least he seemed to be enjoying himself.
He turned towards the bed that was owned by the third student within this monastery, Dean Domino.
To be completely honest, Caesar didn't exactly know how to feel about the American. While he was quite affable, and the two of them got along swell, there was just this feeling that Caesar couldn't quite place, but it felt like little nuggets of jealousy.
And how could he not! The man was practically a prodigy among prodigies when it came to [Hamon], and could stand against vampires and the like with pure physical strength alone. And a part of the Italian felt like his teacher, Lisa Lisa, was currently playing favorites with Dean.
He liked Dean and would call him a friend any day, he knew that for sure, but he just felt… inadequate when comparing himself to the American.
The door suddenly opened, revealing the person of his thoughts, when-
*Blam*
-he fell face first into the floor.
"Holy crap, Dean!" Joseph exclaimed, rushing to his friend's side. "What the hell happened!"
"Bullets," he weakly said. "She upgraded me to bullets."
"I… don't quite understand," Caesar said.
"She's making me dodge bullets while wearing five hundred pounds of metal," Dean managed to say before unconsciousness swept him away in her delicate embrace.
… You know what, I'm fine with learning from Messina. He's free to keep Master to himself.
A/N: Hey-o everyone! So I've got some news! I'm going to be focusing on finishing Battle Tendency for now before working on my other stories, mostly because I'm a huge procrastinator and I need to get it out of the way. So expect two or three chapters on this story before we do a few interlude chapters.
On a side note, my mom is fine now, and she now has the tumor/grapefruit that was fucking with her removed, and should be making a full recovery!
Now I recently got a review saying something about [Stands]. Seeing as how Dean uses both [Hamon] and the [Spin], they suggested drilling vines. And while that would be totally awesome, I've had a Stand idea planned just for him since day -20. So apologies if I ruined your dream of seeing that Stand (and it was extremely beautiful), but while I think that would work for anyone else who utilizes those supernatural skills, keep in mind that Dean is a [Gamer], and in case you haven't read any other Gamer fanfics (which I recommend you do), you'll note that they don't always fit into the fixed system of their world's.
