Lots o'revelations. "What did I tell you last chapter?" Excuse me for a moment
Stills woke up with sleep still heavy on his eyes he looked around the room Fluttershy had already gotten up for the morning and was probably on her morning stroll. He was thinking of the night before playing and talking with Fluttershy and when he kissed her. Oh God he kissed her, what was he thinking she was a friend who he was living with when he didn't even know who he was and he was stupid enough to kiss her. He had no idea how he would even speak to her after that what would she say to him? She'd probably ask him to leave leaving him homeless and depressed, but she wouldn't do something like that. Most likely there would just be an awkward silence that would become so unbearable he eventually pretend to have his memory back and leave on his own once again becoming homeless and depressed. Then again she may eagerly requite his affection but he didn't expect that to happen. All he could do was wait for her to come home and as if on cue she walked through the door noticing that he was awake stopped and looked at him.
"H..hi Fluttershy." For the first time he found he couldn't speak clearly to her.
"Oh, goodm…morning Stills." A brief silence that held the air for what could have been hours followed before Stills decide to simply open up the conversation.
"Hey I'd like to talk to you about last night."
"O…okay"
"You remember it was quiet and we were talking and I kissed you a couple of times."
"Yes"
"What are your thoughts about that?"
"Honestly I don't know." She really didn't know she felt strong affection towards him but was well aware of the obvious problems that were present. She was caught between telling him she only wanted to be friends and running over to embrace him. Because she couldn't decide what to do she left it to reason.
"I haven't known him long only a couple of weeks, my knowledge of him is limited, he doesn't know his own identity, When he does remember who he is there could be serious conflicts between me and his real life, I don't have the time required for a special somepony."
She looked at these hindrances and firmly made a decision. Without a moments more hesitation she ran over to him and wrapped her forelegs around his neck.
"I'm not sure if I love you but I feel something pretty close to it."
"Then I'll just have to make you sure then." And he kissed her and smiled.
Fluttershy spent a good ten minutes stumbling over words but she finally relayed her message that her couch couldn't be comfortable and he could sleep in her bed if he wanted to and it took him fifteen to passive aggressively agree to her offer. Most of the night he slept well but then his dream came back with a vengeance. He was sitting on a large bus his guitar in his hand, actually it wasn't his red Fender it was a blue Stratocaster that looked very familiar, outside he heard what sounded at first like cheers and clapping but came to resemble a loud buzzing of hornets and the screeching of crows. Once again something was trying to enter the bus but this time rather than banging on the door it simply turned the handle and three ponies entered. The first was a black unicorn with a white mane and upon seeing him Stills was filled with anger, he was followed by a fat grey Earth pony who made him feel disgusted, and closing out the trio was a green female Pegasus, very pretty, and she terrified him he wished all three would leave him be but her more than any of them he wanted to expel from his memory and never see again.
"C'mon kid it's time to go."
"Where? Where are we going?"
"You know where."
With that they grabbed his legs and were dragging him out of the bus into a blinding white light and he could hear himself yelling.
"No, no more just let me be I'm done with it all let me be."
At that moment he woke up, his heart was beating very fast and he was trying to both slow it down and remember who those ponies were and what he wanted to be done with. It was still dark and Fluttershy was asleep next to him when he saw her he let out a sigh and laid back down.
"It doesn't matter who they were or where I've been or what I've done. All that matters is I'm where I want to be with who I want to be with doing what I want to do."
He fell back to sleep and dreamed up one of his memories. He was sitting in a room by himself with the same blue Stratocaster Comfortably Numb was playing on the radio and he started playing along when the song ended he gave a very solemn sigh and said.
"This is the life ain't it Roger." He was occupied with this dream until he woke up.
Hello is there anypony in there
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anypony home
Relax I'll need some information first
Just the basic facts
Could you show me where it hurts
After having that dream he figured performing the song might get it out of his head. The desperate wailing of his guitar at the end drove the house mad and he gave the obligatory smile.
"Thank you all I hope you're having a good time, now I'd like to play a song that's one of personnel favorites this is Simple Man."
He plucked the opening rift and suddenly felt a massive headache and he remembered that every time this song would play his mother would tell him to listen closely and then everything came back. He knew his name his career his band his music his fame and all at once it made him sick.
Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It'll help you some sunny day.
His parents were both dead they died his senior year in high school to deal with the pain he played and wrote songs for hours on end he was devastated but that was when he got good.
Oh, take your time... Don't live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
He paid for college jamming in bars with a few guys he had met there after several years of that they finally caught a break and signed a soul sucking record deal.
You'll find a woman, yea yea, you'll find love,
And don't forget son,
There is someone up above.
He had an abhorrent girlfriend he couldn't get rid of and was discouraged in his spirituality for the sake of commercialism And be a simple, kind of man.
Oh be something, you love and understand.
Baby be a simple, kind of man.
Oh, won't you do this for me son,
If you can?
He was a whore to record company always travelling on tour or attending garbage parties just looking to be thrown a bone. Forget your lust, for the rich man's gold
All that you need, is in your soul,
And you can do this, oh baby, if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
He had money, fame, he was living the dream of legions young kids picking up their first instrument but he hated it all. It was killing him and it had been for years, he had always known that but tried to ignore it. Boy, don't you worry... you'll find yourself.
Follow your heart, lord, and nothing else.
And you can do this, oh baby, if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
But he didn't need to do it anymore he had an out and he could exploit it but he shivered at the thought of what it entailed. Baby be a simple, be a simple man.
Oh be something, you love and understand.
Baby be a simple, kind of man.
He didn't hear the crowd he hadn't heard the song he played moments ago he was caught at a crossroad.
"Thank you, I'll be back in a moment."
He had an out he could be done with it all and have the life he wanted but to do that he had to lie for the rest of his life. No one could know who he was or else it would come crashing down on him no one could know, but what about Fluttershy. Could he tell her he was sure she'd keep the secret but what would she think of him knowing he was running away from his problems hiding from his life what would she say if she knew he had a mare friend who made his stomach twist with loathe. She would be hurt disappointed or the worst scenario ask him to leave he didn't want to risk that but he didn't want to lie to her. Fuck every pony else he didn't want to have to lie to her maybe he could just wait hold out on the truth for a little while and tell her when he was ready and not tell her everything just the important parts. He peeked out and saw her close to the front of the stage and his heart skipped a beat.
"I'll wait to tell her just a little while until I figure out what to say. Just a few days and I'll think of something just a few days."
"I told you we should have checked that town first."
"Yes fine you were right are you happy now."
"God it sounds good to hear you say that Morrison it only took you a month to admit it."
"No it took half a dozen stories of a light blue guitar playing Pegasus that came out of nowhere the same time we lost McCready and has been knocking down crowds every show to get me to admit we should check that town."
"Maybe we shouldn't go looking for him."
"What are you talking about Ginger?"
"If he's been gone for so long and hasn't even tried to contact us maybe he doesn't want to come back."
"That's stupid he's probably just taking a vacation, though I don't know why he'd go there."
"Well then won't he just come back eventually?"
"Yeah but we don't know how long that will be and we're going on tour next week we need him now."
"I still don't think we should go."
"Sorry Ginger but I'm calling our agent right now and I'm calling Beverley too she'll want to be there when we get him."
"You know he can't stand her."
"If he couldn't stand her why is she still around."
"You know the record company would crucify him if he dumped a big name actress."
"Now you're just being paranoid." And with that Morrison walked out.
"Do you really think he doesn't want to be found?"
"I don't know Emerson but I certainly hope Morri is right about this."
Sorry that's it's been awhile I wasn't entirely sure what to write. Shit's going to hit the fan next chapter. Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd and Simple Man by Lynyrd Skinner
