Disclaimer: D. Gray Man is Hoshino Katsura's property. And it's fucking coming back in August.

A/N: flashback is in italics


Chapter 7 – Training

A thin layer of snow was covering the whole Temple of the Black Order; roofs, trees, grounds, everything was tainted in white in this early winter. Some people – students, teachers or Exorcists – were lazying outside despite the rather cold weather to take some time to gaze at the sparkling whiteness around them. The atmosphere was peaceful, and some harmless youkai even came to play with the people there. A good day, indeed.

A pity a certain silver-haired boy couldn't enjoy that day.

It had been ten days since Allen Walker had been undergoing a rather tough training under the coaching of his merciless shikigami, namely Kanda. Basically, he had been suffering living hell for ten days, and right now, he was panting heavily, hiding on a tree in the middle of the forest, trying not to get caught by a bear-like youkai which was particularly determined to kill him. Allen could feel the youkai's energy and tell that it wasn't near his spot. Sitting on a snow-covered branch and resting his back against the trunk, he allowed himself to think back on the first day of his ordeal.

The morning after their meeting with Komui, Allen found himself being woken up by Kanda before dawn, and asked grumpily as he reluctantly sat up on his futon:

"What on earth do you want at this hour…"

"Just hurry up and get dressed. We're going in the forest, and it's pretty far from here. And take this too." Kanda replied as he tossed Allen's Exorcist costume to the boy, along with a small bag.

"Wha-why in the forest? What do you want to do there? And what's this bag for?" Allen asked, half-asleep.

"Idiot. I said I'd train you, and I intend to do it perfectly. Now hurry up."

"Can't we train here? And what's the bag for?" Allen repeated.

"Che, I told you this isn't going to be the petty games you dare call 'training' in this school. And my patience has limits so get dressed before I help you."

"Fine, fine. Just tell me what's this bag for, at least." Allen replied as he hurriedly obeyed.

"Bandages and ointment. You'll need them. And water." And before Allen had time to reply, he added: "And one last thing: during this period of training you won't be eating anything for the whole day; only at night when we come back you'll be able to." And with a smirk, the black-haired youkai added: "That is, if you still have enough strength to eat."

At that sentence, Allen opened his eyes wide:

"Not eating for the whole day? How am I supposed to do that? I can't train properly if I starve!"

"Oh yes, you can." Kanda replied coldly. "Now let's go and stop complaining like the useless brat you are."

Allen twitched. 'I'll show you who is useless.' he thought as he walked out of his room, already pissed off, followed by a smirking Kanda. That kid was so easy to manipulate.

A loud noise made Allen jump. Right, it wasn't the perfect time to get distracted. Perched on his tree, the boy carefully look in the direction where the noise came from. The bear-like youkai was there, frantically searching for its prey – namely Allen – and kicking on random trees with enough violence to make most birds and youkai flee from them.

'Ok, you can do it, Allen.' The boy mentally encouraged himself, then took a deep breath in and jumped on the ground, his feet slightly sinking in the layer of snow. As soon as the youkai saw him, it rushed to him with a loud growl. Allen quickly formed a seal with his hand and uttered an incantation. Immediately, large rings of light appeared around the youkai and encircled its body, preventing it from moving; Allen knew the spell wouldn't last long so he hurriedly took a seal from his sleeve and threw it on the youkai, chanting another incantation. In front of him, the bear-like demon turned to dust in a few seconds.

Allen allowed himself to let out a small sigh of relief.

"Not too bad."a voice behind said. "Next one…"

"Oh please! For heaven's sake, just give me five minutes to rest!" Allen cut his shikigami with an exasperate tone as he turned to him. The boy was clearly tired, his cheeks red from hunting youkai for hours. The only advantage of that training was that he wasn't cold, despite the low temperature outside.

Kanda was leaning against a tree, arms crossed, and stared at the boy for a few seconds before talking again:

"Che, I suppose you deserved it. Five minutes, no more."

The young Exorcist merely shrugged as he walked to Kanda, then leant down and grasped the flask of water at his feet. He sat down next to the youkai, drank a mouthful, then leant his head against the trunk and closed his eyes.

It was still dark outside, though the sun had started rising. At the entrance of the forest, Allen suddenly asked his shikigami:

"Hey, you said we're going somewhere far from here. Where exactly?"

Kanda didn't reply, much to the boy's annoyance. Allen called him out again, more loudly this time:

"Hey! I asked you…"

"You'll see when we get there, and I suggest that you don't lazy too much." Kanda cut him sharply.

"Being nice sometimes won't kill you…" the boy mumbled. The youkai merely glanced at him, not answering.

They walked for more than an hour, not following the path, but instead going deep into the forest, which didn't really reassure Allen, since there was no way he could find his way back if he were to be left alone there. So he simply made sure to stay as close to Kanda as possible, and to keep up with the youkai's pace. They walked without saying anything all the way, though it embarrassed neither of them for both would rather remain silent than wasting their saliva on useless talks. And the forest was never completely silent, anyway, and Allen found himself enjoying the sound of the lively surroundings, or breathing in the multiple scents around him.

Suddenly, Allen stopped walking and started looking around him, on his guards. Kanda glanced at him from the corner of his eye, then smirked.

"So you felt it, huh?" the youkai said. "Very well, this will be a good spot to start your training."

"What do you mean? There's a youkai somewhere around here with more spiritual energy than all the other youkai you usually find in this forest. I have to inform the Temple about it!" Allen retorted.

"Idiot. Who ever said there were only weaklings in this forest? If you've never felt that before, it's merely because you don't go that deep into it. And you are not going to inform anyone about it, you're going to eliminate that youkai. Since I'm very kind, I'll keep the bag for you."

"Wh-what? You want me to get rid of it without any reason?" the boy asked, obviously not wanting to comply.

"The reason is to train you. Now find it and bring me back its corpse." Kanda replied, shrugging.

This was definitely not the kind of training Allen had expected. He had thought he'd had to spare with Kanda, or something like that, but he was certainly not prepared to kill off youkai on his shikigami's orders. Allen stood in front of Kanda and stared right in his eyes.

"Certainly not. I've never fought something with that amount of spiritual energy, and the Temple taught me not to attack youkai without any valid reason." he said. Kanda smirked:

"And here I thought the moyashi hated youkai enough to kill them without any hesitation."

Allen twitched but snapped back anyway:

"Shut up, Bakanda! Unlike you, I don't kill simply because I feel like it!"

"Very well. You want a valid reason? I'll give you one."

And without adding another word, and under a wide-eyed Allen, Kanda held out his arm in front of him and spoke a single word:

"Mugen."

A green light appeared in his palm, and took the long shape of a katana. As the light faded, Allen saw that it was that same blade Kanda had used during their last mission, but he didn't have time to think about anything else, as Kanda grabbed the hilt of the katana and slashed the air in front of him, releasing a blast which hit right on a tree nearby.

"What did you…" Allen couldn't finish his sentence as a low growl rose, coming from the direction where Kanda's attack hit, and the boy gasped when he saw the youkai appearing from behind the trees, visibly pretty upset. It looked like a worm, except that it had the size an adult human being, was standing on what could be called a pair of legs, had two long arms which ended with claws, had a single huge eye in the middle of its body, and above all, there was an enormous mouth at the top of the body. A mouth with sharp fangs. Allen decided that it actually didn't look like a worm at all.

"Now you have a reason." Kanda interrupted his thoughts. "If you don't get rid of it, it'll devour you." he explained as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"B-b-but you can't let me die or you'll lose you powers!" Allen said, panicked. He stepped back as the youkai was rushing to him – too quickly – and bumped into Kanda.

"Indeed, I won't let you die. But it doesn't mean I won't let you get hurt. Now get to work, it's coming." Kanda said as he withdrew and jumped on a tree branch, observing the boy who glared at him with all his might, but soon focused his attention on the irritated worm-like youkai which had every intention to turn Allen into its meal.

"What kind of training is that!!!" he shouted as he started running, chased by the growling youkai.

"Facing actual danger is the best way to force you to release your spiritual energy, idiot." Kanda replied, visibly enjoying himself.

The youkai plunged its head, or rather, its mouth, but Allen managed to dodge. He silently cursed his shikigami; unfortunately he didn't have much time to think about anything else but how to defeat that monster. He took a seal inside one of his sleeves, still running, then turned round and chanted an incantation as he threw the seal to the youkai. The small piece of paper exploded, but it was too small an explosion to stop the youkai; instead, that irritated it even more.

"Damn it!" Allen cursed. From the corner of his eye, he could see Kanda following him by jumping from tree to tree. It was during that second of inattentiveness that a sharp claw plunged on him. Allen gasped as he barely had time to see it coming and tried to dodge, but wasn't quick enough and he soon felt pain in his right arm. His white sleeve started getting dyed in red.

Allen fell on his knees under the pain and shut his eyes tight. Then he heard a slashing sound, a loud growl, something falling on the ground, and nothing. The boy slowly opened his eyes and raised his head, to find himself facing Kanda, who was standing right in front of him, looking down on him with his icy dark blue eyes. Behind him, the dead youkai was lying in a pool a blue liquid flowing from a clear cut on its body, probably its blood.

"Stand up." Kanda's harsh voice made Allen slightly jump.

The boy obeyed, though his legs were shaking a bit, and he winced under the pain in his arm. Kanda grabbed it and examined the injury.

"A mere scratch. Here." he said as he picked a strip of fabric in the bag he was holding and quickly bandaged Allen's arm.

"Th-thanks." the boy stuttered, confused. He didn't have expected Kanda to take care of his injury, even if it was a mere bandage.

"Don't thank me too quickly, Moyashi. You're going back to work right now."

"Huh? But you saw I can't handle youkai of that level, Bakanda!"

"Even the lamest of Exorcists can handle that, as long as they don't repress their energy like you. You need to face real danger in order to lift your damn barriers."

"Well, sorry but Professor Tiedoll told me the best way to do it was to medidate." Allen snapped back.

"Yeah, right. And did he tell you how long it would take? Based on what I saw of how you meditate, you wouldn't be done after a year, idiot. This is the quickest way."

"I can't." Allen replied stubbornly. Immediately, Kanda gripped him by the collar, and asked icily:

"And who was the one who cried like a baby because a person died on him? Who's the one who said he wanted to get stronger? Where did all your hatred for youkai disappear to? Is your resolve that low, useless Exorcist?"

Kanda's words hit straight at Allen's face. The boy looked away, unable to face the demon's insensitive look. Yes, he wanted to become stronger; yes, he didn't want to see anyone dying in front of him while he couldn't do anything; and yes, he still despised youkai because of what they had done to him. So why couldn't he fight properly? Allen bit his lower lip as he couldn't find an answer to that question. Kanda roughly shook him by the collar:

"I'm waiting, brat." His voice brought Allen back to reality. The silver-haired gulped, then still not looking at his shikigami, finally managed to articulate:

"Fine, I'll do it."

"Che." was Kanda's only answer as he dropped the boy on the ground. Then, as if nothing had happened, he went on: "This area swarms with more than enough youkai for you to train. Let's resume, shall we?" he added with a smirk as a new youkai appeared in front of them.

"Enough slacking, Moyashi. Get back to work or you'll freeze on the spot." Kanda's voice interrupted the boy's thoughts once more.

"It's Allen, Bakanda." he answered almost automatically, then reluctantly stood up and stretched his arms and neck. "You know, at that pace there won't be any single youkai left in this forest."

"At that pace? Don't kid me, you're still as slow as a turtle, Moyashi." Kanda replied with disdain.

"Allen. And it's only been ten days since I started."

"Meaning that you only have ten days left to improve. Now stop talking and get back to work."

Allen muttered something which greatly sounded like 'workaholic' and started scanning the area with his energy sensing, looking for some youkai to exorcise. It had been like that for the whole ten days; finding demons, killing them, then finding new ones, killing them and so on. At first, Kanda had been the one to find them, but now, the only thing he did was to follow the boy and sometimes – rarely – helping him if he had troubles.

Allen couldn't tell how many of them he had faced on that day, and most of them had ended up being killed by Kanda. The young Exorcist couldn't tell whether his shikigami was pissed off by his poor results or no, since his face didn't show any sign of approval or disapproval. The poor boy was exhausted, he could barely stand on his feet and he felt as if all his spiritual energy had been drained by the 'training'. And on top of that, he was hungry. As Kanda had said in the morning, he didn't get any meal for the whole day, and now his stomach was begging to be stuffed with anything edible.

Allen leant against a tree, the remains of a slain youkai at his feet. He raised his eyes; he could see the orange sky through the tree branches and deduce that evening was near. He turned his grey eyes to Kanda, who glanced at him then let out a small sigh:

"I guess you won't be able to do anything more today. Let's head back." he said as he started walking.

Allen quickly followed him, but after a few minutes he found himself struggling not to fall while trying to keep up with Kanda's pace, as his legs seemed to refuse to carry him any farther. And what had to happen happened: he tripped, only to be stopped during his fall by Kanda's arm.

"Oi, can't you even walk properly?" the youkai asked, annoyed.

"S-Sorry, I tripped." Allen answered as he stood back and dusted his robe off.

"Che."

They resumed walking silently for several minutes, before Allen's legs gave up on him once more. This time, Kanda immediately caught the boy by the waist with one arm, saying grumpily:

"Oi useless Moyashi, we'll never get back if you keep falling like that."

"Sorry… I wasn't looking at where I was walking." Allen replied in a weary tone. "I'll pay attention now."

Kanda let out a sigh of irritation, and before Allen could say or do anything else, he put his other arm behind the boy's knees and lifted him up.

"W-what are you doing, Kanda? It's fine, I can walk by myself! Let me down!" Allen exclaimed.

"Shut up. And hold on to me." Kanda cut him.

"Wh-" Allen gasped as his shikigami jumped on tree branch, then started jumping from a tree to another, careful to avoid getting scratched. Unconsciously, Allen gripped Kanda's kimono and snuggled closer to him, feeling the warmth of his body on one side of his face, and the cold wind on the other side as Kanda was moving. It felt nice being held by these strong arms, even if they were a demon's arms.

Allen tried hard to keep his eyes open, but the numbness of his limbs along with the exhaustion of his mind put too much strain on him, and Kanda's swift and silent movements didn't particularly help him remain awoken. He ended up dozing off.

"Idiot! Open your eyes!" Kanda snapped.

Allen obeyed, and to his dismay, he saw six youkai approaching him dangerously. He silently cursed his lack of attention which had preventing him from sensing them. Not one, but six! He had never dealt with six youkai at the same time before, and those ones seemed to be at least at the same level of the previous one.

"What were you thinking, letting your energy flow freely like that? Those stupid youkai were lured by that energy – not that it's very high, anyway." the black-haired demon went on. "Oh, fine. Just deal with them. That will teach you."

Allen ignored the comment about his level of energy. He knew that he wasn't potentially weak, according to what his professor had told him; he simply needed to fully use all his avalaible energy, which he still wasn't able to do, even if there had been some progress.

'Ok, so what do I do when I'm facing several youkai like this?' Allen tried to remember his lessons at the Temple, though he didn't have much time to think as a first youkai charged at him. 'A barrier. I need a barrier.' Now the problem was whether he would be able to create a large and powerful barrier enough to contain the six. 'Only one way to know.'

Allen formed a new seal with his hands and gathered his energy to create a barrier and pronounced the word to cast it. A thin, pale blue and transparent wall appeared and surrounded the youkai, enclosing them in a luminous dome though it wasn't very stable and threatened to collapse under the repeated attacks of the angry demons. Allen gritted his teeth and frowned in concentration; a drop of sweat fell from his temple to the ground.

"I'll be nice today." he heard Kanda say behind him. "Make your shield strong enough to contain them and I'll call it a day."

Very well. That only strengthened Allen's will to be done with them. He concentrated even more, trying to reinforce the barrier where it was the weakest, to ignore the furious growls of the enclosed youkai which kept hitting against it, to focus only on putting his energy in what he was doing.

"Not bad. Now keep it like this for twenty seconds and I'll consider you succeeded." Kanda spoke again.

Twenty seconds, huh? Fine. Allen started counting in head, trying not to lose his concentration on the barrier. The repeated assault against it made the boy flinch and put a knee on the snow-covered ground; but the shield held out. 'Ten more seconds.' A new drop of sweat fell to the ground. 'Eight… seven…' A thought crossed Allen's mind: what was he going to do after those twenty seconds? If he released his barrier, he would become cold meat. 'Damn it, do I have to fight them anyway? I don't have enough strength left for that!' At the same moment, he heard his shikigami's voice behind him:

"Twenty."

And with no further warning, Kanda jumped in the barrier and slashed the six youkai in an instant with Mugen as if they were mere tree leaves. Allen, stunned, dropped on the ground, his barrier vanishing around Kanda who turned his dark blue eyes to the boy then smirked as he saw the face Allen was pulling.

"How did you manage to go through my barrier?" the latter asked, frowning.

"Che. That level of barrier is nothing to me. Anyway, get up and let's head back" Kanda merely replied.

Muttering under his breath, Allen slowly stood up and winced as almost all the muscles in his body ached and screamed for rest. Like every evening. He quickly removed the snow on his robe and caught up to Kanda who had already started heading back. The fact that he was still able to walk despite being sore all over was a mystery to himself. Today, though, he felt more exhausted than usual and ended up calling his shikigami:

"Kanda, slow down a bit." he said, trying not to sound too worn out.

The black-haired youkai glanced at him, and to Allen's huge surprise, complied silently. On their way back, Allen allowed himself to think again about that first day of training.

Allen slowly opened his eyes, to find himself in his own room, on his futon, blanket pulled over him. He sat up, still wondering how he ended up there. The room was lit only thanks to a small lamp. A familiar voice rose:

"Finally awake, Moyashi."

Right. Kanda. They were in the forest, going back to the Temple but Allen couldn't walk without tripping every three minutes, so Kanda carried him and…

"Kanda, did you bring me all the way here?" the boy asked, incredulous.

"Che." The shikigami merely replied, turning his head on the side.

"Is it late?"

"It's the middle of the night."

At that same moment, Allen's stomach made a rather loud growl, making the boy blush slightly. What time was it? He needed to go to the kitchens to take something to eat. As if Kanda could read his mind, he told the boy:

"Your two friends brought you a tray in case you haven't noticed."

Indeed, right next to Allen, a full tray of food was waiting for him, and the boy mentally thanked Lavi and Lenalee for their attention before literally devouring the whole tray.

"Che, that's why human beings are so weak. They always need to eat if they don't want to die." Kanda said with contempt.

"It's still better than killing others to feed on their energies." Allen snapped back, his mouth full.

"Fool. If you were a demon, you'd understand. You'd understand the thrill when you kill someone and drain them from their energy, the excitement of chasing those desperate trash begging you to let them live, the pleasure to remove the weak from this world…" Kanda said slowly, licking his lip as he spoke, a strange glint in the eye. "And the feeling of the warm blood on you, the sight of those petrified faces as you plunge your sword in their entrails, the sweet sound of their screams and cries, that intoxicating scent of straw on fire after you burnt everything up…"

"Shut up."

Allen had stopped moving, looking at his shikigami as a sudden feeling of anger, disgust and fear rose within him. His tone had been as icy as his blood was boiling now, and the urge to beat the demon in front of him made him stood up abruptly, fists clenched, not caring about the spilled food at his feet.

"What's your problem, Moyashi? Can't deal with the reality of having a demon as a shikigami? A pity for you, killing is in my blood." Kanda said with a smirk as he also stood up and started walking towards the silver-haired boy whose body was shaking out of fury.

"You're not going to make me believe you said all those things simply to annoy me." he said, trying to control the anger in his voice.

Kanda's smirk grew wider.

"No, indeed. That was the pure truth. And it's a pity I can't experience it anymore… well that is, until you die. Then, after that…" He licked his lips once more.

Allen felt sick as he looked at his shikigami – no, at that demon. He had never seen such a look in Kanda's eyes, and in the half-lit room, it looked even more eerie. Those were the eyes of a true demon, used to killing people and lusting to kill even more. Before Kanda came too close to him, Allen turned round and hurried away, slamming the panel shut behind him.

He ran, not really watching where to, but he ran anyway. The only thing he wanted right now was to get as far as possible from Kanda. To his relief, he didn't hear anyone behind him, which was already a good point. Unconsciously, his steps brought him to the Temple's garden, and it was only at that moment that he noticed he was bare feet and that the floor was rather cold. Nevermind that. He stepped into the garden on the cold path of stones, taking his time to gaze at the pond in which he could see the reflection of the moon. He then raised his eyes and stared shiny spots in the dark sky, letting out a loud sigh of frustration, or was it annoyance, or tiredness, or all the three at the same time? It didn't really matter.

What mattered was that he had taken a bloodthirsty demon as a shikigami, and he was now realizing how much of a mistake it had been. At that moment, he wished that everything so far was a nightmare, including the fact that he was an Exorcist; he wished he would wake up soon and find himself on his futon, next to the other children he always played with at Nara's home, he wished that no Exorcist never really came to pick him up and bring him to the Temple of the Black Order.

"If you plan to catch a cold so you'll be able to skip training, don't dream too much." the oh-too-familiar voice suddenly rose behind Allen.

The silver-haired boy turned his head to Kanda and glared at him with a furious look on his face.

"Give me one reason not to seal you back and…" he started icily.

"I'm the only one who can make you stronger in no time." Kanda cut him with the same tone.

"Oi, listen when someone talks to you, Moyashi!"

Allen almost jumped as he was snatched out of his thoughts by Kanda's voice.

"It's Allen." The boy answered grumpily, his mood darkened by his thoughts.

"Tomorrow you'll train on more powerful youkai." Kanda went on, ignoring Allen. "Your energy is still not fully used, and this starts pissing me off. So you'd better be prepared."

"What's the use of making me train on more difficult targets if I can't handle them?" Allen mumbled.

"You humans are like any living thing on this earth and possess a survival instinct. Putting you in life-threatening situations will trigger that instinct and force you to erase your stupid inner barriers."

Allen didn't feel like arguing so he kept his mouth shut and both of them came back to the Temple silently. He despised Kanda, but the latter was right; he was the only one who could make him stronger.


Allen was woken up by several bangs on his door and at first thought it was Kanda, before remembering that his shikigami was still in his room, and would never bother knocking on any door.

"Allen! Allen!" Lenalee's voice called him from behind the wooden panel.

The silver-haired boy rubbed his eyes and quickly got up to open the panel.

"What is it, Lenalee?" he asked with a half-sleepy voice.

"My brother called for us." the girl replied, visibly agitated. "It seems it's an emergency, so please get dressed and come to his working room as soon as you are done." Then she turned her eyes to Kanda, who was looking at her with annoyance, and added, though with a more uncertain voice: "You too, please. My brother said he needs to see you too."

Both Kanda and Allen raised an eyebrow; the boy looked at his shikigami who merely shrugged and turned back to Lenalee:

"Fine, we're coming right away."

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Ok, I know this chapter was particularly long. But it's to celebrate my exams! I got the school I wanted, yay! So I give you all virtual cookies, champaign and juice for those who are underage :D
Anyway, I'd be happy to receive some reviews; it takes you a minute to review something which took me hours to type :]
And plot will (finally) be moving in next chapter ^^