Chapter Summery: In the future when Neal is off his ankle, he does all the things he's been putting off.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Bechirah Chafshit
Free Will; the doctrine of free will, ascribing to the human will freedom and ability to choose between alternative possibilities of action in accordance with the inner motives and ideals of the agent, is often referred to as one of the basic principles of Judaism. It is consistently assumed that G-d has taught man what is right and what is wrong and left him to chose between the alternative and the consequences. This is clearly stated in the Torah: "I have placed life and death before you, blessing and curse; and you shall choose life, so that you will live, you and your offspring..." (Devarim 30:19). Talmudic-Midrashic expressions are that G-d does not predetermine whether a man shall be tzaddik (righteous) or rasha (wicked); that He leaves to man himself. Everything is in the hands of G-d except the reverence for G-d.
"To our grandest, our greatest, our final case," Neal said, raising the glass as they stood around the table in Peter and Elizabeth's house, "L'chayim."
There was a cake on the table. Mozzie and June were there, as was Diana and Jones. Hughes had showed up to celebrate the day as well, a fact that surprised Neal. Even Rossabi put in an appearance.
"That's an odd choice of a toast," Mozzie remarked to Neal as Mozzie drank and Neal ate a piece of cake.
"Why? I was toasting to the life I got back." He smiled at the thought of seeing Israel, of seeing Sara in London, of seeing his Mother and Step-father, and his nephew Aviv and Chanah's husband and daughter.
"Still," Mozzie took a sip and went quiet.
"Are you ready?" Peter asked him, coming up with to the two with the key.
"Always." Neal lifted his pant leg, revealing the tracker and it's green light. The agent unlocked it and it came off easily.
"So how does it feel to be a contributing member of society again?"
"Was he ever a contributing member of society?" Diana quipped.
"Once," Neal replied, "A very long time ago. You see, when we were conning Adler, I used to file tax returns, or Nick Halden did."
They all laughed. "Oh trust me, we know," Peter told him.
The party continued for a while before Diana needed to head home and Jones had a date to make. June told Neal she's see him at home and Hughes congratulated him and took off as well. At some point, Mozzie had also slipped out the back.
"So what do you think you'll do next?" Elizabeth asked Neal as they picked up the dishes.
"I think I'll go see my mom and see Sara," he smiled at the memory of Aya Lavin, her tall and statuesque beauty like something from a painting, as she laughed with her grandchildren. "After that, I don't know. Depends on what catches my eye."
"Are you her only child?"
Neal shook his head to her question. "I have a brother and I had a sister. Things got strained between all of us when she died. And if my brother's been to see our mother at any point in the past decade, I'll be stunned." He gave her a patent Caffrey smile and El smiled back, but she could see the sadness in his blue eyes.
"What was her name?"
"Hannah. She was a couple of years younger than me and as blonde as could be. My step-father always swore that she couldn't possibly be his daughter because no one in that family had ever been that blonde." His smile had faded from the large grin into something more sincere, more wistful.
"So how'd she die?" Peter asked suddenly, coming into the room with the cake. El's eyes went wide and she swatted at him.
"Peter! That was tactless."
"No, it's okay." Neal leaned back against the counter, all traces of a smile gone from his face. Now, he just looked sad, "It was a bombing. Chanah was probably the most religious person I've ever met. In '02 she went to Netanya in Israel for Passover with some colleagues. There was that suicide bomber that went to the hotel she was staying at, the Park Hotel, and she had to have been close to where he was. I think that was probably the worst day of my life. Getting that phone call- it was worse than if I had to watch Kate a thousand times over."
The room was quiet. It made sense now to Peter why Neal had been so distressed in the months after Kate's death, why he had searched so hard for answers. Elizabeth could see the pain Neal was in at this and she put a hand on his shoulder in comfort.
"I'd like to thank you both for everything you've done for me these past six years."
"It's been nothing, Neal." The former conman bent his head down and kissed Elizabeth on the cheek, giving her a quick hug. He turned to Peter a the two men hugged as well.
"It's been a long day. I think I'm going to turn in for the night. I'll- see you."
It wasn't a goodbye, but it might have well been.
The moment her got home he packed everything he'd need, then he took a cab to his safe house, pulling out his Navon Chait paperwork and passport, and putting the Neal Caffrey ones in the spots they had occupied. He was on the first flight to Tel-Aviv before the night was up.
The day Neal Caffrey's anklet came off, it seemed, he disappeared into the wind.
Peter had hoped the man would stay around. He had grown rather fond of the former con, who had become his friend… his partner… his brother. He first learned that Neal was gone when he went to his apartment, finding the place void of any life except a short, balding man on the terrace drinking wine.
"Have you seen him?"
"What do you think, Suit?" was his only response.
Neal's disappearance only shot up warning flags in everyone's head, all for different reasons. For Calloway, she saw the conman as a risk, someone dangerous. She was sure he was going back to stealing. Jonas and Diana were worried that someone from Neal's past might have come after him. El just worried. And he… he wondered if he'd ever see Neal Caffrey again.
Navon woke up before the sun rose in a bed that seemed foreign, but familiar, like an old friend he hadn't seem in a very long time. For the first time in a long time, he didn't feel like someone was watching him. He felt that sense of peace that he only ever felt in his own home wash over him.
He went out for a walk in the brisk pre-dawn hours, just wandering around the city, reacquainting himself with his oldest and dearest friend. He sat on the rooftop of one of the buildings and watched the world come alive. At one point, he found himself on Trumpeldor Street, heading towards the oldest and most expensive cemetery that Tel-Aviv had. There were Zionist leaders and Israeli artists and poets and writers.
The Lavin family had owned plots in the northwest corner of the cemetery for as long as they had lived in Tel-Aviv, something that may even predate the State of Israel. When Chanah died, Noam had insisted she be buried there, despite her husband's family having their own plots in a different cemetery. It was a power play, to show the Yosefs that he had control, and everyone knew it. Navon lost some of his respect for the man that day.
He wandered through the graves, emblazoned with a multitude of pebbles on the graves. He weaved through the rows of headstones with the name Lavin carved into them until he reached the one he was looking for. He fell to his knees before it as the carved letters reading Hannah Lavin Yosef brush his forehead. Here, he can feel her spirit reaching out and touching him, trying to communicate, but he can't hear her. His heart hurts as he finally allows himself to truly mourn for the loss of his baby sister.
No one is at the cemetery at this hour and his tears water the ground before her headstone. When he told Peter and Elizabeth about her yester- no, two days ago, that the phone call telling him that Chanah was dead was worse than watching Kate die, he had spoken the truth to them. He had never told anyone how much it really hurt him. He felt the physical pain in his heart begin to lessen and when it faded to a point that was bearable, he stood. "Shalom, Chanah," he whispered, placing a small brown-gray pebble on top of the headstone, hoping that one day, the pain would be gone completely and he'd be able to think about his baby sister without falling to pieces. As he left, dawn broke through the clouds and it was going to be a beautiful day.
Navon stopped at the house, despite knowing he could easily get in, he knocked on the door anyways. It had been many years since he had last stepped over the threshold and something inside him felt like a stranger there. The door swung open minutes later and the woman that stood before him looked exactly like he remembers- tall, beautiful, and statuesque.
"Shalom, Ima," he said with a sheepish looked on his face, "Ani Mitzta'er."
"Navon," she whispered, reaching out and pulling him in a tight embrace. "I was so worried about you."
"I wanted to call, but I couldn't. I'm so sorry."
"I know. I figured. Eyal told me that you were okay and alive," she pulled back, looking slightly amused, "And smuggling coded messages though Greek spies to him."
"That's all true," Navon told her as she pulled him inside and closed the door behind them. When they reached the kitchen, she poured them each a glass of wine and then he proceeded to tell her about his mostly declassified life as Neal Caffrey. When he finished, he looked up at her, "Has Abba been home much lately?"
"He has. He quit Mossad around the time Eyal did."
They were both quiet for a while, the comfort and peace that can only be found between a mother and her son. "I went to see Chanah," he told her suddenly and she nodded. "I'm no longer running. I found someone to anchor me down."
"Will I get to meet her?"
"Hopefully, yes." Aya had always loved her younger son's smile. It lit up the room and the sky, it seemed. As he thought about this girl, he smiled and she squeezed his hand, standing as she took their now empty glasses to the counter to refill.
"You must love her very much then."
His blue eyes looked large and childish as he looked at her. Then, he nodded. "I do. I never thought I would like her, but somehow..."
"Does she feel the same?" Navon nodded again at this and Aya smiled. "Good." She sets to work making them lunch and he sits quietly at the table for a few minutes before he comes to help her. "Have you seen your brother yet?"
"He's actually my fourth stop. After London." And Sara, he thought, but didn't add in aloud.
"I'm worried about him. I think he fell in love too."
"He did," Navon confirmed, "But it was doomed from the beginning. She's been married for almost a year now to her best friend, who ironically was my friend long before any of us knew her. They invited him and I to the wedding. It was pretty awkward. Eyal seemed happy enough for them."
She looked at her younger son. "That makes me worry more about him. Have you heard from him lately?"
"He met someone a few weeks ago. A brunette cat burglar was how he described her. I plan on seeing who she is when I go."
She smiled at this and patted his cheek, something she hadn't done since he was a young, gangly child. "You're a good man, Navon."
It was another morning in lonely London. Sure there were people there, but they weren't him.
"Good morning, neshama."
Sara shot up with a start. There was Neal, laying next to her in the bed. He was barefooted and had no tie or jacket on. "Morning. When did you get here?"
"About two hours ago. I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful." He smiled at her. She could hear Israel in his voice. Sara could never remember hearing him having an accent before and it was sexy.
"I've missed you," she whispered as she leaned forward to kiss him. He responded with such enthusiasm that if she hadn't been in bed, she'd have fall to the ground as her knees went weak and her toes curled. "I'm glad you're here."
"Mmm, I'm glad to be here too." They smiled at this, laying in the comfort of the other's arms.
"Have you slept?" His grin fade into a genuine smile.
"Some."
"Yes," she whispered in his ear and even the Mossad man had the good graces to look confused.
"Yes?"
"Yes." She snuggled into his shoulder, "It's another time, another place."
He grinned widely as he realized what she was talking about. He rolled her onto her back and kissed her suddenly and hard. "Ani ohev otach."
She looked at him confused. "I've heard you say that before, but what does it mean?"
"That means 'I love you' in Hebrew."
"How do you say 'I love you too' in Hebrew?"
"Gam ani ohevet ot'cha," he whispered in her ear and she shuttered in response. It was so sexy hearing him speak to her in his own language.
"Gam ani… ohevet ot'cha?" she spoke hesitantly, "Did I say it right?" His forehead fell against Sara's.
"You said it beautifully, neshama." He pulled her in closer, "Did you mean it? You want to marry me?"
"Yes," she murmured, wiping at the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. Neal brushed way one that she missed., "I'm saying yes to your fake proposal that wasn't the one you had planned. It wouldn't be us to have you propose in a normal situation."
"The first time you had dinner with me was on top of the FBI building after you had been declared dead. I was trying to con a package out of you and you were trying to get a Raphael out of me. At what time has our relationship ever been normal? We're not normal people, Sara. Normal would being boring."
She half-laughed, half-sobbed at that. "You forget, you were supposed to have killed me."
"I wouldn't have." He nuzzled into her hair, "I don't like guns."
"I know."
"I'll take you ring shopping tomorrow."
"Okay." Her eyelids were drooping and she was almost asleep.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
It'd been four days and no sign of Neal.
He checked every channel. There were no plane tickets, bus tickets, or credit transactions from anyone with the name Caffrey. If Neal was still using the name he had for the past decade, he was flying way below the radar on it.
"Neal's gone. June told me that he came and left within an hour of him leaving here. He took his IDs and hasn't been back," he told El and Jones and Diana and Vincent, who had come over for dinner to talk outside of Calloway's eyes and ears.
"He's free now, hon. Free will is about letting him choose what to do with that freedom, whether it's the right or wrong choice."
"I can see his check list already. Go see his family, go see Sara, steal the crown jewels and whatever else catches his eye," Peter muttered.
The table was quiet. "He won't do that," Rossabi spoke, "I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to pick up the pieces of his old life and start doing what he did before he was Neal Caffrey."
"Which was?" Peter prompted.
The other two agents looked at the newest to the group expectantly. "We didn't know Caffrey back then," Diana looked straight at the man, who didn't flinch.
"I've guessed, but if I say and I'm right, then I might get a visit from that pain in my a- who I really don't feel like dealing with again in this lifetime. Not after he got my CI blown up and not after he that mess with Russia." Off their looks, he shrugged, "D.C. was a weird place."
On her first vacation while Neal's in London, he convinces Sara to come with him to Greece.
He couldn't believe that she had never been before, so he took it upon himself to bring her there. She was surprised when he suggested a boat tour, taking her to the marina onto the first boat she saw. "Mind taking us out for a tour?" He called out to the owner.
"It depends," the man replied from where he was hunched over, packing things away, "Are you going to introduce me to your lovely fiancée?"
Sara stared at the man. He looked vaguely familiar, but not enough that she could place him. "Have we met?"
The man straighten, walking over to them. "No."
"Sara, this is my brother, Eyal." Her eyes widened at she realized why she recognized him. Neal had painted faces onto the people in the crowd on the piece he was currently working on and Eyal's was one of them.
"It's nice to meet you, Eyal." She held her hand out to him, and he pulled her into a hug instead. When he pulled back, he turned to his younger brother.
"So this is the girl you're going to marry. Didn't see testify against you at your trial?"
Neal shrugged at the same time Sara said, "You were at Neal's trial?"
"Probably half of the intelligence community was at Navon's trial. He has one of the records for the longest time keeping a cover story and most members of other agencies to help him keep it. My little brother's practically a legend for it."
"Wow." She'd never realized. She knew that Neal Caffrey was just an alias, but she had never realized how much work went into keeping it in place. Sara's head fell against Neal's shoulder as he pulled her in.
Eyal looked to the couple and asked an important question. "So where to?"
"Anywhere."
Ani ohev otach- I love you. (A man to a woman)
Ani ohevet ot'cha- I love you. (A woman to a man) If you want to respond, I love you too, add the word gam (גם) to the beginning of the sentence.
Ima- mom/mommy
Ani Mitzta'er (masc.)- I'm sorry
L'chayim- "to life", a toast you offer before drinking wine or other alcohol, used the way you would use "Cheers!"
Shalom- hello, goodbye, peace
Neshama- "soul" or "spirit", darling. A beautiful and spiritual word, you'll often hear both men and women using it as a term of endearment with each other, with children and with friends. It's just one example of how spirituality is a part of everyday life and speech in Israel.
Chanah- Neal and Eyal's nickname for their dead sister, Hannah.
