Chapter 7 - Walking on Broken Glass

Guinn looked up as the TARDIS door opened. He was sitting on the floor of the console room, feeling rather sorry for himself, but he scrambled to his feet, trying to look like he was just working on the ship.

Without tools.

Diana frowned at him.

"You're not fooling anyone, you know," she said, her eyebrow raised.

"I wasn't ... Hi," he muttered and essayed a small smile at her.

"Hi." She tilted her head, studying him. "You okay?"

"My wife is... upset with me," he reminded her. "I wait a hundred years, miserable and lonely, and I manage to mess up in a major way in mere weeks." He looked at them with an anguished expression. "I'd really like to get something right. Just once."

"Hey," Diana came over to him. "She still loves you."

"Which changes nothing. It just means that I managed to lose her trust and hurt the woman that loves me. It is still a matter of me being bugger all at this," he explained. "How do you manage it?" He looked between them. "I rarely see you two fight, or argue, you seem to do this so effortlessly. It makes me feel so stupid that I can't get this right!"

Diana and Jake looked at each other.

"I defer to you, Angel," he said with an easy grin,settling into one of the emerald green wing chairs and grabbing a cup of tea as it appeared beside him on the little tea table.

Diana sat down too.

"You discovered the Manifold," she began thoughtfully, "So you had a bit of a taste of what living in the Loops is like… well, was like."

"I am intimately familiar with the Loops, Diana, since I chose most of them for your training," Guinn admitted, looking abashed and uncomfortable.

Diana pursed her lips. In her opinion, Guinn hadn't really known a bloody thing about the Loops until the wasp had pinned him to the wall by his shoulder; then, and only then, had he become familiar with what it was like to live there. She might have said as much, earlier, but after two years of diplomatic tutoring, courtesy of Jake, she decided not to voice the thought.

"Well, then… you can imagine what it was like to come to Gallifrey. A big orange sky with sunshine and fluffy clouds, and a house with running water and electricity, all the food I could eat… and Jake," she smiled at Jake warmly.

"I can most certainly imagine," Koschei agreed, coming into the room with a spanner in one hand and a thoughtful expression. "I was stuck alone for two years, before Susan and the Doctor showed up." He looked rather grim as he said it, giving Diana an understanding nod, which she returned.

"So, I was here for maybe a month, and then we found out about you, found out about the Lens, figured out that you had the capability to blow up the planet as long as I was on it. The Doctor came and told me one night, and he and I went to my house and locked it up, and I left it all. Left everything. Left Jake, and went back to the Loops."

"Yes, I imagine it was terrible, but what does this have to do with relationships?" Guinn asked, looking rather nonplussed.

"I'm getting to that. When I went back, I figured… that was it, you know? It was just over. I would live in the Loops, and Jake would find some other girl and grow old with her, and that would be that." Her hand crept towards his. "Then he came and found me, joined the Revolution, helped find the other Mashas, and stuck with me through thick and thin. You know the only thing that he ever asked in return? He wanted me to always be honest with him, no matter what. So I was, and we built our relationship from that basis. We tell the truth to each other. We don't hide things from each other." She smiled at Guinn. "You'll get it right! Give yourself time! You only just got back, and I mean from the Centre, not even from Rassilon."

"I just feel like I missed some vital course at the Academy or something. I can create a trans-warp spatial engine in my sleep, but trying to make Susan happy? I fail every time," he groaned.

"Well… how do you try to make her happy? I mean, what do you do? Flowers? Candy? Artron spinners?"

"Uh... I try to get her tea a lot..." he murmured and then flushed a bit. "Flowers? Is that something I should be thinking about?" He shook his head. "I used to be better at this."

"What does Susan like? Does she like flowers?"

"Not like Aislynn does, no, but her favourites are purple roses," Koschei said. "Angelface and Sterling Silver roses to be precise."

Oh?" Guinn replied, looking startled.

"It's tough though, her first husband, David, used to bring her roses, so it's a bit tricky for me. I try to find her really exotic ones. He brought her red roses. Every day, he'd hunt through the wreckage and when he found a rose, he'd bring it to her."

"That's a good start. Bring her something nice and then tell her the truth about how you feel." Diana paused thoughtfully. "That's how we did it," she said, and sounded surprised. "We don't lie to each other. We tell the truth. And we don't hide things. Or, we try not to ."

"No point anyway," Jake agreed. "People always find out eventually, so you might as well just tell them up front."

"An excellent philosophy," Guinn sighed.

"You two are quite right," Koschei agreed and sat down as well. "Omega, but I'm a dunce sometimes."

"About the whole kidnapping thing? Well, that was pretty dumb, but in all fairness I expect it was pretty scary too. Just… admit you mucked it up, tell her you are sorry. Tell her the truth. That's all you can do."

"We did, but she's got a bit of a temper. It will be a while before she is ready to forgive us."

"I also think she didn't much like me," the other Susan mumbled, looking abashed as she popped into existence.

"Oh, hi, Secret Susan. Yeah, I saw that. Adie had almost the same reaction," Diana rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

"Hi Diana. Why is that though? What's wrong with me?" she asked and looked at them all with a perplexed expression.

"Nothing is wrong with you," Guinn assured her and she stepped into his arms, holding him and looking up at him adoringly.

Diana frowned.

"Everyone had kind of a hard time, I think everybody was on edge," she said, "So you weren't exactly seeing people at their best, either."

"Oh," she replied and nodded, then cocked her head at Diana. "You'd tell me if there was more to it, right?"

"Well, first that would require me figuring out if there was more to it," She replied. "Presumably there are undercurrents going on, but I haven't fully got a handle on what they are."

"It's because you are her, but before she went through hell," Koschei sighed out. "She's suffered a lot, gone through so much and she's changed. She looks at you and sees just how damaged she is, because there you are, without the damage, showing her every little break in excruciating detail."

Susan stared at him, green eyes wide as she listened.

"She must hate me," she murmured and Koschei shook his head.

"Susan doesn't really hate anyone, but Rassilon, her mother, and probably her Great Uncle," he told her and she made a face.

"Mother and Uncle Brax are awful, I'm with her on that!"

Diana looked thoughtful.

"Brax is Adie's father. She tried to save you and failed. I'm not sure what happened after that, but I gather it was pretty bad. That probably explains her reaction too."

"Well, I died, so it must have been unpleasant," Susan agreed. She looked subdued and the resemblance to the other Susan was stronger in that moment. "I can understand that."

"So, I think you are okay. I think people just weren't expecting you and were sort of shocked."

"I'm sure you didn't come here to council us though," Koschei chuckled. "What's up?"

"I didn't, but I was at least passingly interested in whether or not you guys were okay after Rassilon." She looked at them both. "You sound pretty rocky… I can go if this is a bad time."

"No, please don't," Guinn replied, looking up at her beseechingly. "I have had almost no time to get to know you. We've spent so much of our time running about that I have hardly spoken to you, really."

Diana looked taken aback.

"You know, I… I hadn't even thought of that. I suppose that is true." She paused a minute, thoughtfully, and then plunged in. "I was coming to ask about Lady A. I wanted to know if her brain was fried now that the Nanites are gone, but she regenerated. I also want to know about Tomoko, what her long term prospects are. I talked to her and she's… shaky. She's real shaky and it scares me and I hate being scared."

"Uh... okay... I'll try to take those one at a time," Guinn replied, feeling a bit dazed by the barrage of questions. "Lady Aislynn's brain should be healing the damage done to it in time. What often happens in these cases is that if the old pathways are compromised, new ones will be created. The brain is a surprisingly flexible instrument, you see. Regeneration will actually speed the process, rather than hamper it. She has actually restructured her brain, her body, everything, so the damage ought to be minimal now." He took a breath and looked at Koschei, who grinned.

"Tomoko has Dar in her head, which would make anyone shaky," he snorted. "Seriously though, she had her entire mind rewritten by Rassilon. She's going to take a while to heal from that. I've been working at it for the better part of a decade and I'm still not there."

Diana thought this over for a while.

"Can I do anything to help her?"

"Keep her from wallowing in guilt," Secret Susan replied with a serious look. "Guinn is so consumed by guilt he can't think straight half the time." Guinn flushed at her words and dropped his eyes.

"Hey!" Diana punched him in the arm, in a gentle, friendly sort of way. "New life, remember?"

"Yet, I look at you, at the other Mashas, and all I can think of is how much you've all suffered and how I authored that misery," he told her, looking bleakly miserable.

"I know," Diana said. "But, we're just like Susan in that regard, I think. Give us time. I think we'll get over it…. eventually. Sometimes, I'm still mad at you, and other times, I'm not and I think that's progress. I started out being all mad, all the time."

"I remember," Koschei told her with a small smile.

"So, see, we made progress," Jake teased. "My Angel only wants to kill you on alternate Tuesdays, between two and four, rather than all the time."

"You nut!" Diana punched Jake on the arm playfully. "My other question is: assuming that she's not giving it up entirely, can Lady A still do the singing thing?"

"That's a very different question," Koschei sighed. "It has been known, though it is rather rare, that a regeneration causes a Singer to lose their ability to Sing. It usually comes back in the next regeneration after that, but ... not always."

"Still, there is no reason to think that she can't," Guinn pointed out. "She is a very strong Singer."

"Well, that's encouraging," Diana said thoughtfully. "I know she's wanted to give it up for a while now, well sort of, she seems really torn up about it. I have thought that she might come back to it and love it again, if she had some time to rest up for a bit. But I didn't like the thought that she might rest up, try to pick it up again, and then find out she couldn't."

"I would be... grieved... if she did not Sing again," Guinn admitted. "Her voice is lovely and I have always enjoyed listening to it. Even when things were.. very bad for me, it was pleasant to hear her." He said the words softly, embarrassed to admit how much comfort he'd used to take in the songs and Koschei shot him a look of sympathy that he quickly hid.

"I'll tell her that, later on, I mean, once she tackles Singing again. I think she would like the idea that her Songs helped people."

He nodded, but didn't trust himself to speak again, casting about in his mind for something else to talk about.

"So, where those all your questions?" he asked.

"Yep, that was it, and I sense it is time to get out of your hair," Diana slid off her stool easily. "By the way, Aislynn has these blue roses. I can cut some for you, if you want, for Susan."

"I think you ought to," Secret Susan replied, looking at Guinn rather sadly. "She needs a great deal more than she's been getting." With that, she vanished and Guinn felt like something was happening that he didn't understand.

"Well, all you are getting from me is roses," Diana teased. "You'll have to do the rest yourself," she winked. "Back in a minute..."


Adie and Gaige were sitting in the waiting room when Jake and Diana finally arrived. It was a green painted room with murals of intertwining trees and flowers. There were delicately carved benches along one wall and a viewing screen set into another wall. Toys were scattered on the floor for children to play with and a huge picture window looked out at the bustle of the Panopticon Plaza.

A coffee bar and food replicator were inset into the wall and it was a pleasant and homey place to relax and wait for medical care.

"Hello," Adie smiled at them.

"Hi," Diana said. "I didn't want to leave without seeing Jenny and the others."

"Neither did I, to tell the truth."

"I've never done this before," she said, "Should we wait for them?"

"Why don't I take a quick peek," suggested Adie and opened the door the tiniest crack.

Rose, the Doctor, and the children, were sitting on the floor, arms wrapped around each other, crying.

Adie hesitated for the briefest of instants. She wished she could have been there with them, she was technically family, after all, but she had arrived so recently that she felt like she would be intruding on a very private moment. She sadly closed the door again, trying to ease it, without allowing it to make the slightest bit of noise.

"Better give it a few minutes," she told them.

"That's about what I figured," Diana said, and sat down on one of the nearby chairs. "So… you're Gaige, huh? Anyone tell you about the family?"

Adie put her face in her hands.

"Oh, don't do this to him the very first day!"

"You're right, we should just let it be a surprise," Diana snarked.

"Seventy-four cloned sisters, none of whom have a shred of social shame," Jake teased. "Get used to inappropriate comments and suggestions."

"What?" Diana gave him a wounded look. "I've never given you an inappropriate suggestion!"

Adie giggled at the look on Jake's face.

"They mostly live on Karn," she told Gaige. "But Diana, Zoi, and Tomoko live here. Tomoko has been living in Susan's TARDIS, although I suppose that will have to change now that Dar is involved."

"So, seventy-one of your cloned sisters live on Karn, while three of them live here?" he asked, waving at Diana. "You're her sister then?"

"I'm her clone, but I think it technically works out to sisters, yes."

"By Gallifreyan law, you're sisters," he confirmed and smiled at her. "So, sister-in-law, after we visit the patients, where is there a good place to get beer? I haven't had any in nearly a hundred years."

"There's some pubs," Diana beamed. "Shall we take you on a tour? Get you drunk and whoop you at darts?" She grinned at him.

"Ha! We'll see who whoops whom!" he retorted with an answering grin.

"You will lead until the exact moment Adie bats her eyelashes," Di grinned back at him. "Fortunately for me, I am immune to the charm of Jake's eyelashes."

"We'll see," he warned and Jake chuckled.

"I don't bat mine as well as Adie does," he explained.

"I have never batted my eyelashes!" Adie protested.

"Yes you have," Di snarked back at her. "You just can't see your own eyelashes, so you don't know you are doing it."

"Do you think they'll be all right?" Jake asked, waving at the door to the hospital rooms.

"Jenny's tough. She'll be fine. Jamie's awfully little. The other kids… well I expect this is old hat to them," she looked sort of sad.

"I don't think that having people die on you ever gets to be 'old hat', especially for children," Jake sighed. "Davian's death is going to really hit them hard."

"I suppose my perspective is off on that," she mused sadly. "Poor Davian."

"He was such a good kid... man... person," Jake told her and shook his head. "It's just not fair. I mean, he survived the Time War and then gets killed by a bomb."

"I suppose it would be like one of us dying now," she mused thoughtfully. Adie just twisted her hands, looking extremely unhappy.

"I understand soldiers dying," Jake said. "I don't like it, but I get that. It's when kids die that it really bothers me. Kids should be out playing, having fun, not fearing for their lives."

"I know, but we're almost there or at least… I hope that we are… maybe not," Adie mumbled.

"Almost where?" Jake asked. "We still have those terrorists back on Earth to deal with, as well as whatever other leftovers from that war show up. What are we supposed to do about the returned worlds, for instance?"

"I would like to check on Azari Bal, make sure that they are all right," Gaige agreed. "I'm worried about them."

"We'll check on them, of course we will," Adie soothed. "But we're also going to have to pick our battles. We have limited numbers. We'll do what we have always done… we will do what we can, with what we have."

"Limited numbers... Time Lords... that's a new thought for me," Gaige admitted. "I would like to look around here. See this Gallifrey."

"Right," Diana said. "That was that whole, 'beat you at darts' conversation we just had."

"Well, once you have visited the children, let's go exploring, shall we?" Gaige suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Jake agreed and then they all fell silent, waiting for a sign that they could go in to see the kids.


The Doctor cradled Jenny against him and watched the other children, as they huddled together, crying and clinging to each other, and tried not to feel as though he'd failed them catastrophically. All he'd wanted was to protect them and instead, he'd sent them into danger.

Justin had come in a little while back and, while it had been a bit awkward, the children had pulled him into their group and held him too. Myrdin hadn't looked thrilled about it, but one look from Freeya had silenced him.

"Can we go home now?" Jenny asked and Rose nodded. The orphans all winced at that and the Doctor forced himself to smile at them all.

"Let's all go home," he told them, knowing that they didn't feel at home anywhere just then. Getting them adopted moved up his priority list at that moment. These children had been through so much and what they really needed now was families and stability.

He decided to give that to them.