Kevin and Melanie sat together at the table and enjoyed dinner without the company of their dates. Rather than eat in silence, Melanie tried to broach a subject with Kevin.

"So, what do you do for a living?" She took a bite from her spinach salad.

"I'm an actor," Kevin replied.

Melanie nearly choked. "Oh, my God! Anything you've been in I might have seen?"

"Well, I don't want to brag." He sounded snobbish. "But I was in The Social Network…and Black Swan."

She thought for a moment and tried to place his face. "I've seen those movies. You don't look familiar to me at all."

"I guess I would have been hard to miss." He stuffed a piece of chicken in his mouth and continued talking with his mouth full. "You know, I was that guy drinking the beer and doing the cabbage patch dance during the party in The Social Network."

Melanie faked a smile, "Oh, right." She lowered her voice. "I remember seeing your elbow in Black Swan."

Kevin tried to make out her words but the music at the reception was getting louder. "What you'd say?"

"Nothing." She turned away and stifled a laugh. "Actor? Right."

The band changed their set and began to play more lively music as most of the guests were done with dinner. Many swarmed to the dance floor while others remained at their tables or mingled at the bar.

Kevin looked at the people dancing while he picked his two front teeth with his index finger. He glanced up and spotted Cuddy approaching the table with House trailing a few feet behind. "Lisa! There you are. I thought I had to send out a search party for you." He snorted. "I hope you didn't mind. I took the liberty of ordering your dinner."

Cuddy looked down at her plate. She frowned.

"What's the matter you don't like chicken? Everybody likes chicken. Everything tastes like chicken! Am I right or am I right?" He snorted again and slapped the table.

This guy was really irritating the shit of out her. "No, I don't like chicken 'cause I don't eat meat. I'm a vegetarian."

"Come on Cuddy. You do eat meat. Hell-oooooo?" House pointed at his crotch. "CockMeat sandwich anyone?"

Cuddy surrendered to House. "Why are you doing this? Why are you screwing with me?"

"I'm sorry, what?" He pointed to himself and shouted so others may hear. "You want to screw me? On this table?"

"I wouldn't give you the satisfaction," she hissed.

"Hey, that's enough!" Kevin stepped between House and Cuddy and grabbed him by the lapels. "You're out of line pal. "

He laughed. "Yeah, you can say that I've crossed it."

Kevin knocked House's cane out of his hand and poked his finger on his chest. "I mean it. Do you want to step outside or something?"

"HA! You hear that Cuddy? Your date wants to beat up a cripple."

"And yours wants to beat off a cripple…for…for forty bucks," Cuddy argued.

He corrected her. "You're way off. Try one hundred…"

Melanie jumped in. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You thought I was a prostitute or something?"

Cuddy's voice trembled. "You're not?"

"No!"

House cleared his throat. "As I saying, Cuddy, you're way off. Try one hundred times wrong."

Melanie's voice grew louder. "A prostitute?" Seriously? I gave you that impression?"

"You didn't." Cuddy pointed at House. "He did."

House quizzically looked at Cuddy. "Really? I don't recall ever..."

Melanie cut off House. "You know, I've been called a lot of things in my life lady, but a whore? Please. You want talk first impressions? Who's the one here dressed provocatively?" She gestured toward Cuddy's chest. "I mean, a dress like that on a Dean of Medicine? I can practically see your tits and so can everybody else!" She angrily grabbed her purse from the table. "Greg, I can use a drink…and a cigarette." Then stalked off.

House called out to Melanie. "You got it babe. I'll meet you at the bar in a few. "

He looked at Cuddy and stupidly grinned. "Speaking of boobs, I bet you feel like one now."

A mortified Cuddy slowly walked past the bar where House and Melanie sat on the way to her office. It seemed like a good place to disappear and hide out for a while.

House leaned into Melanie. "You were utterly brilliant." He pulled out his wallet from his pocket and grabbed a wad of bills. He pondered for a moment, "Let's see you charge seventy-five an hour…"

He looked at his watch and scratched his head. "Okay. Multiply seventy-five by two, carry the one and factor in the quadratic formula…"

Melanie smiled and quietly laughed.

"One hundred fifty, right?"

She nodded her head.

He pulled out two one hundred dollars bills and a fifty.

She pushed his hand away. "I don't feel right taking it. I didn't really do anything." She leaned in closer and stroked his thigh. "I mean you still could get your money's worth."

He removed her hand. "Trust me. I got off. And I may get off clinic duty forever because of this. I mean did you see her face? Priceless."

"Oh! I get it. I get it. You don't want to be with me tonight. Because your…"

His eyebrows shot up. "Gay? Absolutely not!"

"Because your heart is after hers, not mine. You'd rather be with her."

He made a face. "Cuddy? No. She's not my type."

Melanie remained silent.

"She's not inflatable," he joked. "No, really! She's just my boss. And that's all. I'm just fucking with her tonight."

"No, I think you'd rather be fucking her tonight. I see the way you look at her. And I see the way she looks at you. I can't compete. If it's all right with you, I'd like to go back to the party and drum up a little business."

"Yeah. Sure."

Melanie was about to leave the bar when House stopped her. "You're wrong, by the way…about Cuddy. She means nothing to me."

She half-smiled. "Everybody lies."

House rubbed his thigh vigorously and mumbled to himself. "So, I've heard." The pain in his leg was increasing twofold. He planned on not pulling any punches with Cuddy, but he was having second thoughts. Maybe he should have handled the situation with kid gloves.