Teddy: I have realized what I need to do! My Unknown Reviewer's advice was to look at her writing and try and figure out what was making her mad at me. So I read over the entire bloody story very carefully and realized what I'd been buggering up. This chapter especially explains a lot. Whoever you are my mysterious reviewer, thank you! Brilliantly done! I have decided that I will write her a story as a reply, and try and tell her that I'm sorry through that! I can't think of how else to do it, so wish me luck! XD
Thank you everyone, I love all of you! Please enjoy this next chappie and review! As always, Happy Readings!
I sat with Axel anxiously in his living room. I glared over at him as he flipped another page in his book. I asked, "How can you just sit there?"
His eyes tore away from the pages and fixed on me intensely. I froze for a moment as he said harshly, "Because, Riku, I just probably broke their hearts bringing you here…they need time…"
I hung my head in defeat and slumped into my chair without another word. I was an asshole still. Just when I thought I'd changed. Tears were threatening to pour down, but I held them back stubbornly. However, Axel noticed and stood, coming to my side, and pulling me into his middle. I sat there for a while, struggling with my emotions. Finally, I'd gotten them under control enough to mutter thickly, "Sorry…"
Axel released me, but didn't move away. Instead, he knelt by my side and gazed into my eyes, and asked, "Riku…do you still care for me at all…?"
I stiffened, unable to look away from those piercing emerald eyes. Did I? Did he? Had he been waiting for me this whole time?
"A-Axel…" I breathed.
His eyes glistened beautifully as he started leaning in to me. A part of me really, really wanted to kiss him back, but the other part screamed at me to stop. When he was mere inches away from my lips, I found the strength in my arms to push him gently away and whisper, "I can't…what if Sora comes back? Then he'd know I was a cheating bastard."
He stopped short, eyes still full of that dangerous emotion, and continued staring at me. But after a moment of tense silence, he smirked and placed his hand on my cheek delicately. Running his thumb across my skin softly he mumbled, "Alright…"
I shivered, loving the way he felt right now. Thankfully, he stood and went back to his book. I don't think I could have held myself back any longer if he'd kept touching me. And that worried me.
I sat back in my chair and sighed gently, glancing at the clock on the wall on the other side of the room. It read eleven at night. Sora and Roxas had been gone now for a little over a day. If Axel didn't let me go find them soon, I think I'd go mad.
OoOoOoOoOo
The lights were still on I noticed as I stood on the doorstep. I rubbed my arms in an attempt to chase away the cool autumn evening. I'd just arrived in Roxas' car a minute before and now stood debating with myself. Should I really go in? Maybe I should go back and get Roxas for moral support? Would I even be able to speak when I set eyes on Riku again?
Of course I'd have to go in. Otherwise, this problem would never get cleared up. No way would I go get Roxas. He'd probably start fighting Riku if he tried talking to me. And I hoped I could speak. I needed to tell him to get the hell out of my life.
Decision made, I determinedly stomped up to the front door and rang the bell. There was no movement at first, but then I heard the muffled sound of a voice from what I thought was the living room. I waited anxiously for what felt like about three minutes before I heard "What do you want, Sora?" asked weakly through the door.
Did Axel think I was going to hit him? I shook my head and called, "Just let me in, Axel. I need to talk with Riku."
There was a moment's hesitation before the door slowly creaked open, revealing the one person I really didn't want to face. I gulped and gaped up at him. The light from the hall behind illuminated him, making it look like a halo around his silhouette. I was speechless for a moment. Completely forgetting why I came back. The vision of his hunched form, eyes sad, waiting for me to cry out in anger was burned into my eyes. Even when I looked at the ground and muttered, "Can I come in…?"
He nodded, and I quickly moved by him into the living room and saw Axel slumped in one of the chairs, book lying open on his lap, snoring softly. I looked around to see Riku motioning with a jerk of his head to the un-lit kitchen. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked slowly in. After a moment, I took a breath and whispered, "Here we go…"
He was leaning against the counter, waiting for me when I came in. He did not meet my gaze, however. Instead, he motioned to the chairs at the table. I sat without arguing, but he didn't say anything. I was a little worried. Usually by now he would have jumped in with his excuses, but…something was wrong.
"Why did you come here…?" I whispered.
He jerked slightly at the sound of my voice, but answered softly, "I wanted you to know how sorry I was…"
"Was?" I scoffed. "You move on so quickly. Why don't you just-"
"No! Not was! I meant am!" he blurted, finally looking into my eyes. "That didn't come out right! I'm really-"
I could feel the burn of tears. It was like the past few days hadn't happened; like I'd never left him. I cried, "Did you even notice that I was gone? Or was it that you were too busy with those other guys to remember you had me at home?"
Deafening silence followed my outburst. After a moment, I realized I was standing, breathing heavily, and sat back down. I chanced a glance over at him and saw that his head was in his hands. I narrowed my eyes and asked skeptically, "What, you're crying?"
No answer. Only a solitary tear slipping between his fingertips, shimmering in the soft light. My heart clenched painfully. In all my time knowing him, he'd never cried. My mind seemed to freeze. Was this all really happening?
"I'm so sorry, Sora…I never meant to hurt you…"
"You think cheating on me wouldn't hurt me?" I asked incredulously. "You're not the same Riku…"
"I wasn't…but I'm different, now. I know what I did wrong. Just let me explain!"
He lowered his hands and gazed at me forlornly, his cheeks wet with tears. After some quick debating, I nodded slowly. He seemed to sigh with relief. And then he began:
"My boss at work…decided that he liked me. It didn't matter that I had you. He wanted me anyway. And he had me. At the time I thought that I let him go through with it because I liked it…and when you were gone…I realized it was because I was scared of him."
This was not at all what I was expecting. I gaped in horror over at him, now standing straight, not looking at me.
"When he started…violating me, I felt dirty. And every time I touched you after that…I thought of him. Not because I wanted it to be him, but…because it felt wrong. I was soiling you. I wanted…no want to protect you. That's why I slept with other men." He shook his head sadly as if hearing himself say it, made it utterly ridiculous. "I couldn't do to you what he did to me…"
"R-Riku…" I breathed, all feeling leaving my body in an instant. I didn't want to believe it. This had to be some kind of sick joke to lure me back! No way could I have let something like this happen to him without knowing…
He smiled miserably, and rubbed his neck as a distraction. He then moved to the other counters farther from me and mumbled, "I'm no longer worthy for you, Sora…I was weak. I should never have let it happen. I'm sorry…"
I stood once again, a horrible pang of fear running through me. I took a step toward him and gazed at the two dark bruises on his neck that I hadn't noticed until now and asked shakily, "R-Riku…what's that on your n-neck?"
He stilled, and I took more steps toward him. When he didn't answer right away, I asked shocked, "Did…Did that man do that to you?"
I started toward him, but he merely raised his hand and waved me away. He took a shuddering deep breath and said, "Please, don't pity me. That's not what I came here for. I came to apologize, and make sure you're okay…"
We stood in silence, the weight of everything pressing heavily on my mind, making it swim with indecision. Suddenly, the front door burst open, making me jump. Axel in the living room let out a strangled yell, as I spun on my heel. My eyes quickly focused on the panting blonde in the entrance way.
"Roxas!" I cried, realizing that he'd run all the way here from the shop.
Once he'd focused on my voice, he strode past Axel without a word and into the kitchen and growled, "What the hell, Sora?"
"I just needed to explain-" Riku began, but was silenced immediately by Roxas dashing forward and landing a right hook to his cheek. I screamed and dove after Riku crying out, "Roxas stop it!"
Almost instantly, he froze. Confusion flooded his face as he gazed down at the two of us. Almost a minute passed before he spoke in an eerily calm voice, "So you've forgiven him, is that it? I see…so that means cheating and treating you like shit really doesn't matter in your books…"
"Roxas…" Axel started, reaching out to touch his arm.
Roxas jerked away from him, almost like he'd gotten burned by his skin. He backed away from all of us and muttered, still in that flat voice, "Now you'll go back with him, to your perfect life and forget about us…about me…"
His voice broke, and his feet stilled once again. That's what he was thinking… I made a move toward him and noticed that he was shaking all over.
"I would never forget about you." I started, taking another cautious step in his direction. "You know that I…I love you too much to do that to you again…"
I could feel Riku tense behind me, but I didn't care at the moment. One of the people that I cared for the most in this world was hurting, and I needed to do something. Roxas shook his head wildly, tears falling freely now as he clenched his hands into fists.
"I can't lose you again…I can't…not after I just got you back…" he sobbed, collapsing to the floor. I went to him immediately, wrapping my arms around his shuddering form cooing softly.
When it didn't seem like he'd stop crying any time soon I said, "Riku only came to tell me what happened back in Destiny…"
And I began explaining everything I'd just heard. When I finished, Roxas lay hiccupping, head in my lap, with Axel stroking his back comfortingly. I leaned down and pressed my face into his blonde locks and whispered, "No one can take me from you, not now…not ever."
Soon, the sun was starting to rise, and we decided that sleep would be the best thing to do before talking any more about this. Without a word, Riku strode over to the couch and lay down, leaving Axel and me to carry a dozing Roxas up the stairs to the bedroom. Once we'd gotten him settled in, Axel turned to me and smiled, "I'm gonna go in the guest room. You stay with him."
"Axel, wait-"
He shook his head, effectively cutting the rest of my sentence off. He took my hand for a brief moment, looking into my eyes and mumbled, "I still deserve to be mad at for bringing Riku here…"
Then he turned and left, leaving me standing alone in the doorframe to his and Roxas' bedroom. After a moment, I quietly closed the door and went to sit next to Roxas sleeping fitfully on the bed. I sat heavily.
"Should I believe him…?" I asked quietly, stroking Roxas' soft hair. His brows furrowed, but relaxed once he got used to my touch.
This was all too much. I didn't know what to do.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
I woke slowly, the feeling of dried tears on my cheek making me wish I could go back to dreaming. It had all been real, then. Axel had betrayed Sora and me by brining Riku to the house. I'd thought I'd lost him when I woke in the shop and realized he'd gone back to the house. I'd left at a dead sprint and got to the house just after midnight. I couldn't be sure how long Sora'd been gone for, but all I could think was, "He'll leave! If Riku talks with him, he'll get sucked into the lies and forget about me!"
I rubbed my eyes roughly and looked around. Sora, I noticed with relief, was still here, lying on the bed next to me; his soft snores ruffling the hair hanging in his face. I brushed the strand aside and sat up, gathering my wits. All the information that Sora had told me last night flooded my mind. It was hard to sort through. I couldn't do it by myself, but who could I talk to?
"Axel…" I breathed, thinking of his smirking lips and sparkling emerald eyes. He'd always understood me, even when I wasn't making any sense. The fact that he'd brought Riku here was far from my mind. I just needed to talk with my best friend.
Without a sound, I slipped out of bed and tiptoed over to the door.
The house was dead silent as I slipped into the hall. And I was surprised to find that my footsteps fell softly as I padded to the guest bedroom door. Slowly, I turned the knob and pushed the door in. It was dark as I took a cautious step inside.
"Who's that…?" came Axel's groggy voice from the bed.
"Me…" I whispered, almost afraid to permeate the stillness of the air.
Axel seemed to instantly wake, quickly sitting straight up in bed. I saw the glint of his emerald eyes in the glow from the alarm clock on the side table, and swallowed hard.
"Roxas…what're you-" he breathed, cutting himself off midsentence.
"Lemme just ask you one thing," I started, stopping a few feet from him and taking a deep breath. "Do you love Riku?"
It was almost painful how quiet it was in the next span of seconds. Then Axel mumbled, his voice so small it almost didn't even sound like him, "Yes…"
"And you trust him?"
"Yes…"
I gazed down at Axel, now slumped with the weight of his shame. In all our time together, I never saw him like this. It was humbling. I smiled sadly and asked, "More than me?"
Axel lifted his head to meet my gaze, his eyes wide, mouth open in utter defeat. I understood.
"Do you think our lives will ever turn out okay? Be less complicated than they are now?" I asked, walking over to his bedside and sitting heavily.
He was silent for a moment before he replied quietly, "No…but that makes it more interesting, don't you think?"
I couldn't help but let a little bitter chuckle escape my lips. It was hard to think that Axel and I could ever truly hate each other, but I don't think we'll ever be the same, now. And we both knew it.
"C'mon, it's cold in bed with Sora…he likes stealing the blankets." I offered, already making my way to the door.
He followed after without a word, and climbed into bed on Sora's other side, snuggling up to him and pulling him close. After a few minutes, he reached out and took up my hand. I merely snuggled into Sora's arms more, silently wishing for time to backtrack to when I'd been happy.
a/n: Once again, I will see you soon, my friends! 'Til the next chappie, then! *springs off to start on "Apology Story"*
