Is any act truly selfless?

read.

"I need you. I love you.

I'm so lonely.

I want to see you.

I want you to hold me.

Help me forget."

The alarm blared loudly, wresting Kotonoha from her dreams and plunging her into another sunny day, ironically juxtaposing the hell her life had become.

Mother.

Father.

They were both gone. Their soaked, red bodies still ever-present in her mind.

Kotonoha fought back the oncoming tears and began to brush her dark violet hair. Sitting in front of a mirror, she could see her eyes. They were tired, but they were alive. She was doing her best to keep herself out of that all too familiar daze that she knew Makoto-kun hated.

Maybe if she tried really hard and focused on getting by in the real world, rather than escaping to her own, he would come back to her.

Kotonoha shook her head. She knew better. Things weren't good for either of them. Now they both had children to take care of. It was time to let him go.

Kotonoha looked over at her dresser. On it lied the seashell necklace that Makoto-kun made for her that summer.

"Here, since we weren't able to go to the beach, I made you this."

Kotonoha stared lovingly at the little pink seashell connected to a thin black rope.

"I love it." she cried as she wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry I was gone all summer."

Makoto-kun smiled his usual carefree smile "It was a family trip, Kotonoha. It would have been wrong not to go."

Makoto-kun, so kind, so compassionate.

"Well, to make up for it," Kotonoha started, peaking Makoto-kun's interest, "How about I give you my special service tonight?"

Makoto-kun blushed cutely.

She couldn't let him go. Not now, not ever. Kotonoha knew in her heart that she could never love another man. It had to be him.

Kotonoha walked into the bathroom and picked up her toothbrush.

She looked away from the next mirror. Why was she thinking about Makoto-kun? Her parents were dead and her thoughts were still on Makoto-kun.

How vile. How disgusting. How dare she mourn her relationship over her parents? And what about Kokoro? Kotonoha wasn't the only one dealing with their deaths. What kind of monster is so selfish?

Kotonoha spat. "Stop it, stop it! I'm sorry, just stop it!"

Despicable creature.

"SHUT UP!" She yelled, punching her reflection as hard as she could.

Fortunately, the mirror didn't break. Kotonoha wiped away the tears forming in her eyes and slipped out of he lavender nightgown, adorning her usual school uniform. She sighed and rushed down the stairs of their new home to make breakfast.

The new house smelled of paint, a customary scent to any new home. Kotonoha dug through the various cardboard boxes which laid sprawled out on the kitchen floor.

Finally she found it. The rice steamer.

Kotonoha let her mind wander as muscle memory took over.

Father.

He killed her. He killed them both.

They said he was sick.

They said it ran in her family.

Could she someday lose her mind too?

Was she already losing it?

Boyfriend.

Parents.

Sanity.

It was as if her whole world was crashing down around her.

"And- and then I saw them. Father had a knife in his hand. They were both on the floor covered in blood."

The overweight investigator across from her looked at her sympathetically before handing her a tissue. He waited patiently for her top blow her nose. "And then what did you do?"

Kotonoha shuddered "W-well, I- first I checked their pulses. I knew they couldn't still be alive with those wounds, but…" Kotonoha remembered the smell of their blood, the fleeting warmth of their bodies.

"I understand." Assured the officer. "Please continue."

"Well, then I called the police and- I- I think that's it."

"Says here you have a younger sister." He said, looking over a paper from her file. "Could you tell me where she was on the night in question?"

"Sh-she was sleeping over her friend Uzuki-chan's house." Kotonoha stammered.

"I see," the man sighed, leaning back in his chair and grabbing his lighter from the table between them. "It must have been very traumatic to see your parents like that. I'm glad someone her age didn't have to go through that too."

"Thank goodness." Kotonoha sighed, now setting the table as she heard the slow steps of small feet. Kotonoha had to do her best to hide the pain. She knew she had to be strong for Kokoro. "Good morning." Kotonoha said cheerily.

Kokoro gave Kotonoha a hopeless passing glance before taking a seat.

Kotonoha looked at the sad girl. She hadn't spoken much for the last few days. The cheerful, energetic Kokoro that Kotonoha was so accustomed to was nowhere to be found.

Kotonoha tried once again to bring that smile back. "Uh, Kokoro, I made all your favorites, see? Spinnach and cheese omelet, mis-"

Kokoro didn't waste any time. She grabbed her chop sticks and began to eat her bowl of rice, stopping every so often for a sip of tea or a bite of her omelet. She was quiet throughout the whole meal, despite Kotonoha trying ever so often to stir up conversation.

The sad young girl stood up and grabbed her backpack.

"Kokoro," pleaded Kotonoha "are you full? You barely touched your miso soup."

Kokoro turned to face her older sister. Her voice was sharp and cold. "I'll only eat Mother's. It was her specialty."

Kotonoha was left dumbfounded. Defeated, she began to bring the dishes into the kitchen as her younger sister left the house for school. Motehara Elementary was about two blocks away; an integral reason for choosing this house to call their new home. Kokoro always had so much fun at school. As soon as Kotonoha walked through the door, Kokoro would chime on and on about the things that went on in her class. Kotonoha thought it would bring Kokoro's smile back if she could be closer to the place she loved so much. After all, it would be impossible for them to continue living in the house where their parents-

Kotonoha took a deep breath.

No more crying. Things were going badly, but she had to persevere.

Kotonoha grabbed her book bag from the floor and headed for the train station.


Otome looked out the window to the right of her. From there she could see it all; The boys and girls gym classes, late students arriving, and even the occasional skipper. Relaxing in the warmth of the sun's rays, she could contently dream as Mr. Hayakawa droned on.

She couldn't say there was much going on in her life at the moment. Karen joined the girls basketball team. Otome thought it would be fun having her little sister on the same team as her, but as time went on Otome began to get less and less playing time. Everyone praised Karen. It was as If Otome didn't even exist. It wasn't her fault that Karen was taller than her. It wasn't her fault that Karen was prettier or had larger breasts. Yet, it wasn't Karen's fault either.

"I guess I'm no longer needed." Otome sighed.

"Needed for what?" whispered the curious brown-haired boy beside her.

He was really cute. The sunlight gleamed off of his glasses as he blinked his dark-grey eyes.

"N-nothing." Blushing a little, Otome quickly changed the subject. "Are you new here? I haven't seen you around."

"N-no." he said shyly. "My grades improved and my parents had me switched into this class."

Otome extended her hand in a friendly manor. "Welcome. My name's-"

"Otome Katou." the boy interrupted. Otome could hear a hint of irritation in his voice. "I know that. I've been sitting next to you for almost month."

"Oh my god, really?" Otome was embarrassed. How could she have missed him?

"It's because I'm short isn't it? Hardly anyone notices me."

"Sorry." she replied remorsefully.

"It's fine." he replied, suddenly perking up. Today things are going to change. I'm not going to be pushed around anymore." The boy smiled at her confidently. Otome couldn't help but admire his bravado. "I'm Yuuki Ashikaga and from now on, I am a man!"

Ashikaga?

Otome figured he was probably Chie Ashikaga's little brother.

Ashikaga was the one responsible for the incident at the basketball team's party last year.

Otome could still picture that sinister smile as the projector showed her mounting Makoto. She remembered the desperation in Nanami's eyes as she fell to the floor, crying about her own viewable exploits. However, the thing that truly stuck with her the most that day was the anguished look of a girl she'd only just met; the same girl who nearly stopped her confession to him. His girlfriend, Saionji.

Although girlfriend was a bit of a stretch. After all of the girls he was with day in and day out, one couldn't really consider themself his girlfriend.

Katsura.

Why did Katsura suddenly appear in her mind? Sure she was the only one to openly call Makoto her boyfriend, but-

Otome's train of thought broke when she realized everyone was staring at her.

No, not at her. At Ashikaga-kun.

It wasn't that surprising. His announcement was pretty loud. Not to mention he was standing up.

"Ashikaga, if you would please take you seat," Mr. Hayakawa started. Suddenly, the lunch bell chimed and Ashikaga quickly slinked out of the classroom ahead of the others, eager to avoid ridicule.

It wasn't long before the rest of the class had disappeared as well. The only others remaining were Minami, Kumi, Natsumi, and the perpetually-dismal Katsura, head down and nose in a book as usual. Not that she cared. It wasn't surprising given that Makoto stopped coming to school. However, recently there was something different about Katsura that Otome just couldn't figure out. Just then, she noticed her three friends standing sround her expectantly.

"Otome, what's with you today?" Natsumi asked. "You didn't respond to the note I passed, didn't text me back, hell, you didn't even say hi to us this morning."

"Sorry, I guess I've just been a little distracted lately." How could she not be? Karen was the star of the basketball team. Otome may have never been that good, but she at least got recognition now and again.

No. That wasn't what was bothering her. Not today, despite trying to convince herself.

"Why do you keep looking over at Katsura?"

She was looking at Katsura? Otome hardly noticed.

"Trying to decide what to do to her today?" Kumi asked slyly.

"I don't know. I think we should leave her alone for a while." Minami apprehensively suggested.

"Why?" Natsumi asked skeptically.

"Don't you watch the news?"

Otome gave an irritated glare. Who watches the news?

The other two remained silent, cementing the message that they had no idea what Minami was talking about.

"Well, anyway," She continued; wind back in her sails. "Apparently the head of Katsura Pharmaceuticals killed himself."

"Suicide? Really?" Natsumi asked.

"Not only that, he took his wife with him."

Katsura. Otome couldn't believe that girl's parents were dead. The poor girl was an orphan now.

"Ha! No way. This is just too great!" Kumi laughed loudly.

"Kumi, don't-" Natsumi turned away, as unsure look on her face.

"Come on, you hate her as much as I do. The stuck up bitch had it coming; always looking down on everyone, acting all high and mighty."

Disgusting

"Shut up, Kumi."

"What?"

"Would you listen to yourself? Do you have any idea how messed up you sound? Her parents are dead for God's sake! No one deserves that; not even Katsura."

"But she-"

"She what? What could she have possibly done to deserve this? What is it about her that makes you think she deserves this? I hate Katsura too, but we're better than that."

"Whatever." Kumi said as she ushered the other two out the door. "We're going to lunch, you coming?"

Otome could still feel the thick, post-fight tension in the air. "You guys go on ahead. I'll catch up."

It was odd, but somehow Otome actually found herself pitying Katsura. She figured it would be best to ask Katsura how she was once the other girls left.

Stepping over to Katsura's desk, she bent over to get at eye-level with the girl.

"Um, hi Katsura."

Katsura remained silent, only moving to turn a page.

"What are you reading?" she tried.

"Passion Paradise by Myabi Kishimoto." Kotonoha replied dryly.

"Sounds interesting. What's it about?"

"Buy a copy if you want to know so badly."

"I'm sorry." Otome conceded. "I was just trying to make conversation."

"Why?" Katsura snapped back. This made Otome nervous, unsure of how to respond.

"I-it's just that…"

"Why did you defend me earlier? What do you want?" Her icy voice gave Otome goose bumps.

"I just thought that it was wrong to make fun of you since… well…"

"Since my parents are dead?" Otome didn't expect Katsura to be so open about it. "Do you pity me? Do you think that you can bully me, push me around, and then say you're sorry when my mother and father die? Am I just a tool to ease your guilty conscience, or are you really using me to make yourself feel like a better person?" Katsura's voice remained eerily calm in despite her words. "Is it because you feel inadequate next to your sister? Whether you're tormenting me or trying to help me, it's all the same; just another way for you to make yourself feel big. You're pathetic. Go eat lunch with your friends."

Otome could feel her eyes well up with tears. All she was trying to do was help. Otome held them back as best as she could and continued trying to talk to Katsura. Even if Katsura didn't want her help, she knew Katsura needed it; no matter what she thought the motive was.

Otome never went to lunch. Their conversation didn't go anywhere no matter how hard she tried. Otome spent the rest of her day feeling beaten.

Maybe Katsura was right.

Maybe she was just doing this to boost her own self esteem.

As Otome walked down an empty hallway, finished with her classroom cleaning duties, Katsura's words echoed through her mind.

"Whether you're tormenting me or trying to help me, it's all the same; just another way for you to make yourself feel big."

Even if Katsura was right, why should her motives matter if they helped someone? She just had to figure out some way of cheering Katsura up. Rounding a corner, she heard a girl scream.

"What the hell?"

What could be going on?

Otome bolted down the hall in the scream's direction.

Finally, she approached an empty classroom. The door was closed, but she could see what was going on through the window. A small boy lied huddled on the ground while three girls kicked him relentlessly. She could hear the boy wimpering and sobbing pleas for mercy while the three girls cackled. They were clearly first years. Two of them were twins. Both had dark green hair in short pigtails. Their leader, a girl who was shorter than the other two, had long orange hair and a sinister look on her face. in her hand she held a white envelope.

"'To my dear Katou-chan.' Yuuki, you idiot. Did you really think I would let you give her this?"

Ashikaga?

"He was going to confess to me?" Otome whispered.

It was all so sudden. She had just met him.

"Gi- give that back… please…" Yukki wheezed between cries of pain.

"Loser," the twin on the left said. "You don't really think you're getting this back, do you?" the twin on the right finished.

"Let's get one thing straight, Yuuki. You're our toy. You belong to us."

Otome had to do something. She couldn't just sit there and watch him get hurt like that.

"Risa, get the camera. Asa, get the dress." The twins did as they were told as their leader pulled out a blonde wig. "You should really be happy. Most boys would kill to have three kind loving masters like us."

Masters?

"Ooh, are we going to do it again, Chika?" The twins asked in unison

"Of course." she said as she pulled the wig over Yuuki's brown hair.

Why wouldn't Otome go in there? Was she just going to stand by and watch this? There were three of them. Surely she couldn't just waltz in there and demand that Yuuki be set free.

"What are you doing?" Otome heard a voice behind her. She turned to find Karen smiling. Her brown pigtails swaying as she tried desperately to get a glimpse at the window.

"Is something going on in there?"

Otome didn't know what to do. She wasn't sure whether she should tell Karen and get her to help save Yuuki or lie so that she wouldn't look like a terrible person for watching and not doing anything about it.

"Stop! Please!" she heard Yuuki scream.

"Oh my God, is a girl getting raped in there?" Karen asked, clearly disgusted. "Onee-chan, how could you just sit back and watch?"

Well, she got it half right.

"Move out of the way!" Karen said before pushing Otome aside and entering the room.

"Sato and the Honda Twins?" Karen said with a puzzled look on her face.

"This doesn't concern you, Katou." Sato commanded from on top of Ashikaga.

"Wow, I didn't know you were into this kind of thing."

Sato's face became red. "H-he's really a boy, okay?"

"I dunno," replied Karen. "He looks like a girl right now." Karen whipped out her cell phone and took a picture as quickly as she could. Feeling triumphant, she showed them the photo of Sato straddling him. "Now, if you don't want thins going around school, I suggest you leave this kid alone."

Without a word, the three girls ran out of the room without even noticing Otome. Karen's plan was genius. why didn't she think of that?

"Are you okay?" Karen asked, helping the boy off and removing the wig. "What's your name?"

"Y-Yuuki Ashikaga." Tears began to fall from his cheeks.

"Relax," she said, comforting him, "They won't bother you again."

"Bullied by first years, saved by a first year. I really am pathetic."

"Wait, you're not a first year?" Karen asked.

"Second." he replied.

Karen wiped his tears away. "Keep your head up, Senpai. I'm sure you're a lot cuter when you smile." Karen bent over to pick up the envelope. "This is yours, right? I saw those girls drop it." Karen stopped to read the writing on the back before handing it to him. "Is this for my sister?" she asked. "I can go get her for you if you want."

Otome's heart started to race. Karen was very kind. Although what would Otome say? He was cute, but she just met him. But, could she really turn him down after what just happened? He'd be crushed."

"Wait!" Ashikaga said. as Karen began to wallk toward the door. "I don't want anyone to see me like this!"

"Oh yeah." Karen said, giggling to herself about her absent-mindedness.

"Besides, it's- it's not f-for her…" Ashikaga's face went beet-red. He turned his head away from her. "M-my sister used to be on the basketball team and she always drags me to your games. Y-you always look so c-cool when you play."

Karen lit up. "Really? Wow, thanks. I've never been confessed to before. I never imagined it'd be someone like you, though."

"Oh." said Ashikaga, still refusing to face her.

"Well don't you wanna know my answer?"

He lowered his head. "It's okay. I understa-"

Ashikaga was stopped mid-sentence by Karen's sudden embrace. "Didn't I tell you to keep your head up?" She whispered. "I can't have my boyfriend crying all the time can I?"

The small boy turned around and returned her hug.

Otome knew it was too good to be true. She hurried out of the building, heading home. All things considered, it was for the best. Sure, she technically lost to Karen again, but they did make a cute couple. Otome preferred manlier men anyway.

Itou.

Just then, Otome knew what she had to do to help Katsura. Katsura was always happiest when she was with Itou. All Otome had to do was find him.

"Katou?"


"Excuse my intrusion." Otome said politely before entering his shabby domicile. There wasn't much to his home. It was a simple, small apartment consisting solely of a living room and small bathroom. There were a few empty bottles on the floor, but his blue and white futon was folded neatly in the corner.

"I'm sorry, but I can't really spend money on tea anymore. Would water be okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you." Otome replied.

"So," Makoto finally said, while placing the brown-haired baby on the bare floor beside him. "What did you want to talk to me about?" Makoto's expression was a bit antsy. After all, he had another job to get to pretty soon. He didn't have time to sit around and chat with old friends.

"I- I have a favor to ask." Otome finally admitted.

Favor? What could she possibly need him to do?

"Look, in case it wasn't already obvious to you, I'm not someone who has a lot of free time these days."

"How about a couple hours on Sunday?"

Makoto was even more confused now. Perhaps she wanted a date or to sleep with him. No. That couldn't have been it. She made it perfectly clear the last time he saw her that she no longer wanted anything to do with him.

"What's this all about?"

Otome took a while to answer. "…It's Katsura."

Kotonoha.

Makoto had all but forgotten about her. Given his circumstances, it wasn't surprising. He was always stressed out. He was working two jobs and struggling. It wasn't easy supporting himself and a child on minimum wage. He was only on his third week and his savings and paychecks were both completely spent. Not to mention that both his landlord and child services were constantly on his ass. He'd heard about what happened to Mr. and Mrs. Katsura. It was tragic, but it wasn't his problem. He had his own issues to deal with. Kotonoha would have to manage on her own.

"Look, I can't. Give her my regards, okay?"

"Why don't you give them to her?" Otome retorted. "Katsura's going through something I can't even imagine right now. It's partly your fault. Take responsibility."

"Did I kill her parents?" Makoto snapped.

"No, but maybe if you hadn't fucked her head up so much, she wouldn't be so destroyed right now."

"Don't act like your hands are clean in this. It was mostly your bullying."

"You gave her something to care about." Otome began to raise her voice. "You let her fall in love only to yank it away."

"She's practically obsessed with me. She thinks she needs me."

"Let her need you! Give her what she needs! It's the only way she'll get through this."

Makoto calmed down. "At most I'll be a bandage."

"Some treatments are painful. Patients need to be anesthetized. If you don't at least numb the pain, she'll never heal."

She had a point, but something was still off. "So what's in this for you?" Makoto asked. "Why are you helping her?"

Otome leaned back and stared at the brown-sploched ceiling. "I don't even know." she lazily replied. "Guilt? Self-satisfaction? The goodness of my heart? Why the hell does it matter if good will come out of it?"

Makoto sighed. Otome's reasoning was off-putting. He was still unsure of whether or not he could go through with it.

Did Kotonoha really need him?

Could he help any more than he could hurt?

It was just too much pressure for just one man,

but in the end he had to make a choice.