Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on characters from the Warner Bros. television show 'Gilmore Girls'. I don't own any of it.
Author's Note: Yes, it's been a long time. That's tradition. But hey, at least I'm posting? Especial thanks to Fickle Sobriquet this time for making me feel guilty about not having posted in a while. Not to mention, the semi-complete chapter I had was longer than I thought it was.
Chapter 7 – Well, That Was Stupid…
Rory is sitting in the park, in what she believes to be the place where she saw Jess last time. It's late, and the damp is seeping through her skirt. She kicked her heels off long ago, stockinged feet now creating restless patterns as she thinks.
It wasn't particularly clever of her to just run away. Of course, it wasn't particularly clever of her to have kissed Jess in the first place. But he was so perfect… the very thought of him makes Rory long for times past. She wishes she could rewind and tape over the past ten or so years of her life. She wouldn't say yes when Jess asks her to run away with him, but she would find a way to make him stay. But, as every movie she's ever seen or book she's ever read about time travel has told her, no matter what you want to change about the past, it always ruins the future. If she were to rewind and tape over like she wants to, she wouldn't have Jess as he was. She wouldn't be the same person. And most importantly, she wouldn't have Dani.
And Dani was the most important thing. It must be terrible on a child, having her parents split and fight over her. Sure, Rory had been raised by her mother, but there had been no divorce. Lorelai had never married at that point. There was no ugliness until later. She was perfectly happy living with her mom and seeing her father every now and then. But she couldn't do that to Dani. It was bad enough that they were splitting, to have Jess around… to have Jess be her new daddy…
Rory sighs and leans back on her elbows, the dew quickly seeping through her thin shirt, too. She's getting ahead of herself. How can she even think of marrying again at this time? Even if it is Jess. Though, Dani does seem to like him. But they haven't been around each other long enough. Dani could easily grow to resent him. How would you like it if 'Uncle Jess' suddenly became 'Daddy' or just Jess? She can't do that to Dani.
So why is she even thinking about that? Why is she thinking about it at all? Why did she kiss Jess? Why is she ruining her life?
Because, Rory thinks ruefully. She always ruins her life. Always has to make it worse than it already is.
But inside, some rebellious part of her thinks that maybe Jess won't ruin her life. Maybe Jess is just what it is to make it better. But everyone knows what they say about good intentions…
8 8
It's an hour before Rory lets herself back into Jess' house. The door is still unlocked, and she slips in easily. She heads to the bedroom Jess mentioned was for her and notices that it's a rather large bedroom. The bed is now made with white and dark blue sheets, and one of Jess' t-shirts is lying on the bed along with a pair of grey sweatpants. He'd obviously expected her to come back. It brings a smile to Rory's face, and she turns from the room. To make sure he's not worrying, and to let him know that she's back.
Rory heads for the bedroom he'd mentioned was his and is shocked to find a different dark-haired man in the bed. She shuts the door and turns around… Or maybe it was the other room… A glance into the second room reveals a more familiar dark-haired man lying asleep amongst grey sheets. Rory tiptoes closer, admiring his profile, and the small expanse of skin not tucked beneath the sheets. She raises a hand to touch his face, stifling a giggle as the stubble on his chin tickles her. He shifts, and seems to notice her there.
"Rory?"
She smiles down at him. "Just letting you know I'm back."
He raises an eyebrow. His scowl is softened by the sleep obviously plaguing his eyes. "I was asleep."
"And I'll let you get back to that now," she says.
"Wait," he says, grabbing her wrist and pulling her down to his level.
Rory looks at him questioningly, sleepy eyes meeting not-so-sleepy ones.
He gently takes her face in his hands and kisses her softly. "You forgot your goodnight kiss." He doesn't make eye contact after that, and is asleep before Rory has left the room.
She cannot help but feel giddy as she goes back into 'her' room. She changes, and heads for the bathroom. There's a spare toothbrush, still in its packet on the vanity. And a little post-it note labelled 'Rory' attached to it. She smiles and helps herself to the toothpaste, before washing her face and heading back to bed.
8 8
The smell of muffins baking in the morning is enough to rouse Rory from her slumber. When the sound of frying joins the smell, Rory doesn't even bother to change as she heads downstairs, despite the cold. She follows the scent and the sound of early morning and finds herself in the kitchen. A strange man she's never met before is frying foods with his back turned. He must be the roommate Jess had mentioned earlier. Jess is seated at the counter, dark head mulling over the morning paper as he sips a glass of orange juice. The remains of a muffin are sitting on a plate beside him.
"Good morning," she greets him with a smile before suddenly remembering both of his kisses last night.
Jess looks up and notices her smile. "Morning," he returns. He then gestures to the stool beside himself. "Sit down."
Rory nods absentmindedly, sitting down next to him.
"Gary, meet Rory," he says, addressing the other man in the room.
The man turns and Rory can see that the apron he's wearing over a t-shirt and neat slacks is printed with a large picture of a chipmunk. His smile is large, but something in his eyes makes Rory think that he's live a life of pain. But that doesn't mean that the smile he's giving her isn't genuine.
She smiles in return. "Hi," she says, slightly shy.
"Good to meet you, Rory," he says exuberantly, stopping his cooking and wiping his hands before coming over to shake her hand. "Let me tell you right now, Jess has told me a lot about you."
Slightly taken aback by the big man and the news that Jess talked about her, she only stares at him sheepishly in response.
Changing the subject, Jess takes off his robe and places it around Rory's shoulders. "Aren't you cold?"
"Oh, so you'll let her wear your robe but not your best bud Gary?" Gary retorts.
Jess merely frowns at him. "Go back to your frying pan."
Rory smiles at him, then at Gary when he places a plate full of bacon and eggs in front of her. A moment later a second one with an assortment of muffins was placed beside her.
"Is one of the things you told him how much I eat?" Rory asks Jess.
He raises his hands in a defensive gesture. "I have nothing to do with that. He likes to feed people. And I told him you were here so he's gone and made oh, double what he usually does for just me and him."
Then a glass of orange juice was poured.
The orange juice reminded her of Dani.
"I have to pick up Dani today," Rory states, remembering.
"Okay," Jess says, wondering where she's going with this.
"Paul's going to be there," Rory adds, looking at Jess plaintively.
"Okay," Jess repeats. There is no way he is going to cross swords with Paul Bancroft ever again.
"I need back up," she pouts.
"So call your mom," Jess states, standing to physically remove himself from this ridiculous conversation.
"But my mom's in Stars Hollow," Rory whines, pitifully. "I'm supposed to pick up Dani at twelve and there's no way my mom would be awake."
"So what were you planning to do yesterday, then?" Jess asks. "Before I told you that you could spend the night here?"
Rory shrugs. "I would have found a hotel."
"Oh." Jess pauses and turns away from her.
Rory turns to him. "So you'll come, then?"
"No!" Jess is shocked. "No way." The look on his face is panicked as he attempts a tactical retreat.
"Please?"
Gilmore blue eyes and that pleading expression once cracked him every time. But this time Jess will not break. He will not succumb. He will not let her get to him. She isn't his girlfriend now. She's married – at least for now. And, and… the husband tried to kill him! "Your crazy husband tried to kill me!" Jess exclaimed, just looking for an excuse though it was completely out of character for him to do so.
"What?" this definitely had Rory confused. "What?" It is confusing for her on two levels. The first is plainly that exclamations are incongruous with Jess' character as Rory knows it to be. The second is that she hadn't heard about this murder attempt.
Jess thinks a moment. "I'm not sure but he must have."
Rory gives him a look. Maybe she shouldn't be pressuring him. He's clearly going insane from the stress of having to deal with her hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-husband. But Paul wasn't even his husband. Couldn't he empathise a little with her situation?
Finally, Gary intervenes. "Oh, just go Jess," he pushes. "We all know she's got you whipped."
Jess is indignant and about to interfere when Rory comes up with a real reason. "I need someone to come with me. If no one comes I don't know if I'll be able to leave."
Jess looks at her in one last attempt to refuse and finds that he cannot. Much as he hates to admit it, he must be whipped. "Alright, alright," he says, defeated.
The look on Rory's face is curiously not triumphant, but resigned. She really needs him, whether she knows it or not. Whether she chooses to believe it or not. "Thanks," she says. She finishes breakfast, managing to steer the conversation away from Paul and towards happier subjects. Like the book she'd just finished reading, and wondering how to get her new stack home.
8 8
After breakfast, Rory heads upstairs to change. When she's done, she peers into Jess' room to see what he's up to. He's reading one of the battered tomes he picked up yesterday, lying in his tennis shirt and dark slacks. His feet are encased in socks, and his shoes are on the floor. Rory is amazed at how he bothers to remove them.
"Ready?" she asks quietly, unwilling to disturb him. As though her quieter tone will fail to disrupt his concentration, but still let him know that she's waiting. He doesn't look up, but she knows that he heard her. He finishes reading something, slips a receipt in as a bookmark then stands.
It's as he stands that Rory realises something. "This is your room, right?" she asks.
Jess looks at her with his 'Are you insane?' look. Sadly, she's become quite familiar with that look in the past few hours. "Clearly," he responds.
"It's not as big as the guest room," Rory states.
Jess looks at her with a blank look on his face. "I like it better," he says, then brushes past her into the hallway.
Rory is confused, her journalistic mind wondering what she's stumbled upon. But it's Jess. So whatever it is, he's not going to tell her. Not unless he absolutely has to. So if Rory wants her curiosity satisfied, she's going to have to make it absolutely necessary that he tell her what's wrong. Easier said than done. For the moment, she drops it, just as Jess wants her to, and they silently head for Jess' car.
The drive back to Rory's old townhouse is short. There is never much traffic at eleven o'clock in the morning. Surprisingly Jess manages to remember the way there despite only having been there once before. He's driving her car again. He pulls into the driveway and sits there. Rory gets out then turns when she realises that Jess is not following her.
"Do we have to have the same argument again?" she asks him.
Slowly, as to prolong the inevitable, Jess pulls his keys from their slot and places them in his pants pocket. He pushes the button and his seatbelt retracts. Millimetre by millimetre, his hand reaches toward the door handle before finally Rory has had enough. She storms over to the car, wrenches open the door and manhandles Jess out of the car. He scowls at her, but refrains from commenting, and follows her diligently towards the front door.
At the door, Rory has a dilemma. Should she ring the doorbell? She doesn't technically live here anymore, but she does still have a key.
Jess grumbles at her, "Are we going to stand here all day?"
Luckily, Rory doesn't need to make a decision because Paul opens the door at that moment.
"I put your stuff in boxes already," he says. "Stuff from our room's outside the door. Your books are still in the living room."
Rory seemed a little put out by that. She'd expected to spend some time sifting through things, mulling over her life.
"Mommy!" a voice recognisable as Dani's called. She raced in from the living room, smiling happily as she greeted her mother. Rory caught her in a hug and they embraced for a moment as Dani rattled off the things that had happened over the past few days.
Jess was understandably uncomfortable. Luckily for him, Paul seemed to be ignoring him, so he wouldn't be receiving any threats any time soon. Jess should have known. Paul seemed like the type to put forward empty threats. He stepped inside, and shut the door behind himself. He awkwardly waited for the mother daughter reunion to be over, while Paul left the room. Apparently he'd decided he'd spoken to Rory enough.
A moment later, Dani lifted her head enough to notice Jess standing there.
"Uncle Jess!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around his legs. "I haven't seen you in so long." And so her ramble began. Jess wasn't quite sure what to make of it. She started mentioning unicorns and apple salad, throwing him completely off track.
Seeing that she wasn't about to stop any time soon, he turns to Rory for help. She only smiles at him, and starts to walk away. Sighing, he lifts Dani into his arms and follows her. Rory is in the living room, casting an eye over the spines remaining on the bookshelves. Only half the books remain on the shelves. And half of the books remaining there are legal texts. Books that Rory knows Paul must only own for the look of the thing.
"It looks like they're all here," she says to Jess. She leaves the room for a moment and returns with a roll of packing tape. As she tapes boxes, she mourns the contents. It will all be coming back to Stars Hollow with her… but then what? The removal of her belongings from her former home is the physical reflection of her spiritual removal. Something that had happened so long ago that she can't even remember when exactly. Had she ever thought of this place as her home? And if she did, where is her home now? Where has her soul gone?
She pauses, as she struggles to keep herself from breaking down, then tapes the last of the boxes. Meanwhile Jess has been listening to Dani tell him some story about her dad and Mr Longneck.
"Hey Jess, do you want to start loading?" Rory asks, although to her, it is not a question.
He looks at her, then at her daughter.
"She can go with you," Rory suggests.
Jess rolls his eyes, but he promised himself that he wouldn't argue with her in this house. Not when he could see how distressed she was. Even if the argument would take her mind off it.
"Come on," Jess says to Dani, as he lifts a box and walks out of the room.
As Jess brings the books from the library to the car, Rory heads into the kitchen.
There isn't much in the kitchen that Rory would really call her own. The toaster she has fond memories of, but it was a wedding present and she can't really leave her husband toaster-less. That would be too cruel. She grabs her coffee mug, and the machine, too. And all the beans and instant mix in the cupboards. And then she's done with the kitchen.
She had cleared out most of what was in the bathroom when she left the first time. Her essential beauty supplies, toothbrush and toothpaste had needed to come with her. She contemplates taking all the toilet paper with her too, but decides that it is too juvenile. Besides, he probably wouldn't even care. She removes all her sanitary products, and some make up. And it's another box filled as she shuts the door behind her.
After a cursory glance through the linen cupboards and the laundry, contemplating taking the last box of washing powder just to annoy him, Rory finally heads where she's been avoiding. She knows that Paul is upstairs in their bedroom. She knows that almost everything she deems hers will be in boxes just outside that door. She's not looking forward to having to confront Paul about the things that aren't out there.
Trudging up the stairs unhappily, she stops in front of the door to her room. As expected, four cardboard boxes are outside the door. She lifts the cardboard flaps and peers inside each one cautiously, as though expecting something to jump out at her. Nothing out of the ordinary does, though. She's simply staring at things. Things that belong to her. Surprisingly everything seems to be there, but Rory can't help the niggling feeling that Paul is withholding something important.
She knocks on the door gently. "Paul?" she calls through it, softly. She's trying to make herself known, but at the same time, hoping that he won't answer the door.
It swings open, though. And Rory finds herself staring at her husband. He's just as handsome as ever. His dark hair curling back behind his ears, large eyes that had once only looked at her with love now filled with cold indifference. Not that it detracted from his attractiveness. If she thought about it she'd always been attracted to that coldness in him. The part of Paul that was an enigma. Back in their Yale days, when he'd transferred and was suddenly there all the time. Just when she needed some one.
He raises one eyebrow at her. An action, she hates to admit, reminds her of Jess. Jess who is waiting for her downstairs with her daughter. Staring at Paul, Rory forgets why she knocked. "Just saying goodbye, I guess," she said, nervously wringing her fingers and looking down at her uncollected boxes. "Are you sure that's all my stuff?"
He nods at her, and she wonders why he isn't speaking to her. He's been so cold with her. Of course, one would think that a divorce that she instigated would be the cause, but Rory thought there was something more to it. Paul had always been an angry man. There was always something to complain about with him. Cold aggravation wasn't his style. And the thought suddenly scared her.
"Right," she says nervously. "Bye then." She lifts one box, discovering that it's not incredibly heavy.
Paul returns to the bedroom, shutting the door with a click. Too cold.
Absorbed in her thoughts as she walks down the stairs, she misjudges and slips down a stair, falling onto the floor and spilling the contents of her box. It's too much. That's all it takes. She just sits where she lands and cries.
Having heard the thud of Rory hitting the floor, Jess comes in from outside, Dani holding onto his hand. Seeing her, he rushes toward her.
"Rory, are you okay? Are you hurt?" Concern is written all over his face, as he gently holds her hands away from her face.
"I'm – fine," she manages to say.
"Mommy?" Dani asks, wandering over to her mother and giving her a hug.
"I'm okay, Dani. I just, fell down the stairs."
Meanwhile, Jess takes a moment to make sure that she's not lying about any possible injuries. She looks okay, even if Rory does make a depressing picture. Tears tracking mascara down her face, the detritus of her past life surrounding her, and her little girl pressing sweet kisses onto her hair.
"Rory?" Jess asks hesitantly, unsure how he fits into the picture.
"You know what?" she says, wiping tears from her eyes and standing, lifting her daughter onto her hip.
Jess doesn't ask, but she continues anyway.
"I don't need this stuff."
She takes his hand with her free one, and together they walk out of the house.
8 8
