A/N: Hiya guys. Here's the next chapter. As usual, thanks to everyone reading, and big thanks to all reviewers, whether the feedback is good or bad. And now on with it.
...
She pulled out of his embrace the second he asked why she was there. She took a deep breath, gathering her nerve. God, this was going to hurt him so bad. "I need to tell you something," she said after several seconds of silence.
"Okay," Lucas said, pulling back only slightly. He gazed at her quizzically, wondering what could be so pressing that she had to fly out here to tell him rather than just calling him on the phone. "Is everything all right?" he asked.
She shook her head, tears already forming.
It wasn't a sight he could ever stand, and he instinctively reached for her again, wrapping protective arms around her tiny waist. "Hey, whatever it is, it can't be that bad," he said soothingly.
"It is," she replied with a sniffle.
"Then we'll work it out," he replied. "We'll get through it. But first you have to tell me what it is."
Again, she stepped out of his loving arms, the shame of the past three months hitting her harder than ever. "You're so good to me, Lucas," she sobbed. "And I don't deserve you to be."
"Hey, don't say that," he gently rebuked. "You're my wife, and I love you."
She knew that. It didn't help at all. It only made her feel worse.
"Tell me what's wrong, Peyton," he softly ordered. "I'll bet it's not as bad as you think it is."
She could guarantee it was worse.
"Is this about L.A.?" he gently prodded.
"Kind of. Not really."
"I don't understand. And you're starting to make me nervous. What is it, Peyton?"
She opened her mouth but was saved from having to answer right then when Sawyer's muffled cries came through the monitor.
"She's been waking up a lot lately," Lucas informed her. "I'll just get her back to sleep and then we'll talk, okay? It usually only takes a few minutes."
"No, I'll get her," Peyton said. "I miss her like crazy anyway, so you relax," she went on, already on her way up the stairs.
He did as she told him, settling down in the velvety cushions of the couch. This was nice, having someone else take over for a while. Selfishly, he hoped that what his wife had to say was that she'd changed her mind about L.A. and decided to come home to stay.
He didn't have long to relish in that idea though since only a few minutes passed before Peyton called down to him.
He bounded up the stairs to find Peyton helplessly trying to placate their inconsolable daughter. "She only wants Daddy," she told him powerlessly.
And she did. As soon as Sawyer spotted him, she leapt into his arms, nestling into his neck and her little hands holding on for dear life. She didn't yet have the vocabulary to express details of her dream, nor to explain her fears, but she was clearly petrified. It was just as clear that Daddy made everything better. All it took were a few cuddles and his soothing voice and the little girl fell right back to sleep.
...
"Yeah Dad, why are you here?" Jamie asked as the small family had moved over to the large upstairs bathroom where Haley was putting on the finishing touches of her makeup for the night at Tric she now wished she'd refused. If only she'd known Nathan was coming home, she would have. This was why she hated when he surprised her like this. She couldn't just blow off Karen after she'd promised to do a set, no matter how much she'd rather stay home with her husband.
Through the mirror she saw Nathan smile at their son. "Well, see," Nathan began with a shrug. "I heard someone was upset that I missed our Skype chat yesterday so I figured I'd come down here and make up for it in person."
"Really?" Jamie asked, excitement building in him at being the reason his dad had flown down.
"Really," Nathan answered.
"Cool! You wanna play NBA live with me while Mom goes out?" Jamie asked. He'd already gladly called his uncle Lucas to tell him he wouldn't be going over, after all, since his dad was home. Not that he didn't like spending time with his uncle. He did. But he loved spending time with his dad, especially since, during on-season, he didn't get to see him much.
"There's nothing more I'd rather do," Nathan said with exaggerated enthusiasm, winking at his son. "Why don't you go set it up? I'll be there soon."
"Ok," Jamie returned, running off to do just that.
Both parents chuckled as they watched him disappear around the corner.
"You made his day," Haley said with the smile still playing on her now glossed lips. "And mine," she added, gracing her hubby with a quick peck on the lips. "And when I get back, we're gonna talk about why you're really here," she said. "You'll wait up, right?"
He nodded, dreading that conversation, yet glad to put it off for a few hours. He still had no idea how he was going to tell her. "Of course," he assured her.
"Good. And don't let Jamie stay up too late, ok? He has school in the morning."
"Kay."
"Ugh, I wish I didn't have to go," she whined.
Nathan smiled at her. Under any other circumstance, he would wish the same. She looked beautiful, as always, and he told her so.
She smiled back before gazing at him pensively. "It's not your back, is it?" she asked him with concern, needing to know that, at least, before she left. He clearly needed to talk to her and she wanted to make sure his back wasn't the issue. "The reason you're here? It's not acting up again?"
He shook his head, quick to assure her. "No. It's nothing like that."
"You're not just saying that?"
"Why would I just say that?"
"Because you're you and you want to keep playing and you don't want me to worry about you all night while I'm playing."
"Okay," he said, agreeing those were some good reasons not to be completely upfront about his health. Right now he kind of wished his back was the problem. It would be a hell of a lot easier to tell her that than he'd been sleeping with Peyton for three months. And it was times like these, when she looked at him with such love and concern and compassion that the guilt of his actions really set in for him, and he wondered how he could be so careless as to stray on this perfect angel of his. What the hell was he thinking risking everything they'd built together?
"Nathan?" Haley pushed when he seemed to zone out on her.
He snapped back to reality. "Don't worry, Hales," he said. "My back's fine. I promise." What was ailing him was much worse than possible paralysis.
But Haley smiled unknowingly, relieved that he put her biggest concern to rest. "Ok, good," she said happily. "And now, I have to go," she said with another quick peck to his cheek. "Wish me luck."
Nathan shook his head and smiled at his wife. "You don't need luck with your talent," he told her for probably the hundredth time. He didn't know why she still got so nervous to get up on stage, but it was damned adorable that she did. And again, he wondered how he could be so stupid.
His comment was rewarded with a more lingering kiss. "You're the best husband," she told him exuberantly. "I'm so lucky to have you."
And then she was off, none the wiser, leaving him muttering to himself about not being the great guy she thought he was.
...
"Sorry," Luke said as he and Peyton quietly stepped out of Sawyer's room once she was down for the count once again.
Peyton shrugged her small shoulders as they headed down the stairs. "It's fine," she told him. "You've been the one with her lately so it's understandable she'd want you to soothe her fears." She couldn't say it didn't hurt to be so blatantly rejected by her daughter, but she understood it.
Luke nodded agreeably though he could see it upset her. "Come here," he said once they'd hit the bottom step, wanting to wrap his arms around her and soothe her now.
She allowed herself the luxury for a moment, but quickly pulled back as she remembered exactly why she was home. Him trying to comfort her only made what she had to do, what she'd already done, that much harder. He was so sweet to her and she was about to break his heart to pieces. She'd gotten to stall for time a little bit while they dealt with Sawyer's nightmare, but she knew there was no longer any reason to put it off. Except her own agitation, which was not a valid excuse.
"Luke, we really need to talk," she told him seriously.
He nodded and took her by the hand to lead her to the couch. He sat directly across her on the ottoman, grabbing her other hand so that he held both, and gazed at her intently, willing her to know that he loved and supported her no matter what she had to say.
"Luke," she began nervously. She truly hadn't counted on her nerves getting to her this much.
"Peyton," he mimicked in her same tone.
God, his light heartedness made this more difficult. "We've been through a lot, you and me," she began.
"We have," he agreed.
"Some of it's been good, some not so good."
"Those trials are what have made us a stronger couple."
She glanced away from his intense stare. She needed him to stop saying things like that. Her guilt was already overwhelming her. He was so damn unsuspecting and...loving. And she...well, she'd been a horrible wife, even if he didn't know it yet. How the hell was she supposed to do this? She had to. She looked back at him. "It has been an amazing two years being married to you," she said. "It was my dream come true."
"Mine too."
"But sometimes dreams change," she tried again. "The past few months in L.A..."
"Have been hard on all of us," he cut her off, assuming that's what she'd been about to say. "I know," he added. "But we didn't really expect it to be easy," he reasoned.
"No, I know," she replied uneasily. "I just didn't think they'd get so complicated."
"You mean with Sawyer wanting only me, and our finances taking such a beating?" he guessed. "Peyton, those things will pass."
She nodded, but was unable to comment on that. What could she say? He was presuming reasons for her return, but he wasn't even close. He wasn't even in the vicinity of close. It would crush him to learn the true reason.
"You want to give up, don't you?" he guessed again.
"What?" she asked, unsure what he referred to.
"Your art. You're thinking about letting it go, aren't you?"
"Luke..."
"I don't even know what to say about that," he said. "On the one hand, I miss you and I'd love to have you home full time again. But on the other hand, I feel you should think on it more, and not make a rushed decision just because it's harder than you thought. I think wasting your talent would be a huge mistake and that one day you'd regret it."
She opened her mouth to speak, but he wasn't finished.
"I do have one solution I think might work out for all of us," he said. "If we sell this house and Sawyer and I go to L.A. with you..."
"Luke, no..."
"Why not? Your dream is there, I can write just as well there as here, and Sawyer's too young to have grown roots yet."
"But you love Tree Hill," she argued.
"I love you more."
"Luke, that's really sweet, ok, but I'm gonna need you to stop doing that."
"Doing what? Being considerate of you?"
"Yes," she cried, her tears already starting to spill. "Because I don't deserve it. I'm not considerate of you. At least I haven't been for the last three months."
"I don't understand," he returned honestly. This was the second time tonight she'd said she didn't deserve it. "How exactly have you been inconsiderate when you know I support you chasing your dream? Peyton, I love you and I love being able to make your wishes come true. And if that means going to L.A., then..."
"I was unfaithful," she blurted out, knowing she'd never do it otherwise. So much for the practiced speech she'd gone over in her head a thousand times on the shuttle ride home.
His mouth instantly closed and he blinked several times as his mind struggled to comprehend what she'd just told him. "What do you mean?" he asked, his words coming out slow and unsure.
Really? He was a damn published writer and he needed clarification as to what unfaithful meant? To her it only meant she'd have to repeat it. "I mean," she started to explain, her eyes guilty, her tone shameful. "For the past three months in L.A., I've been having an affair."
She knew the exact moment her words sank in, for his own eyes narrowed with rage and he dropped her hands as though they were hot irons, burning his flesh.
...
"Ready to lose, Dad?" Jamie asked once Nathan joined him in the living room where the game was set up.
Nathan glanced at the boy who spoke as though he were the sure winner. He was already cocky. Yep, he was definitely his son. But Nathan, being Nathan, wasn't gonna let him talk smack, even if he was the most important thing in his life. He smiled good-naturedly and responded to the playful goading. "Buddy, last time we played this, you sucked. I beat you every game."
"Yeah, but I've been practising," the boy responded to the light-hearted taunt. "Like, a lot. I beat Uncle Skills three times in a row last time."
Nathan nodded impressively. It seemed his son had also inherited his competitive nature. He figured that wasn't such a bad thing to take after him for. "All right," he said cheerfully. "Let's see what ya got then."
Jamie smiled and Nathan felt his heart constrict. Things were going to change between him and Haley very soon, and he felt bad that Jamie would be caught in the crossfire. Yes, like Peyton had told him, Jamie would always be his son no matter what, but his parents separating would surely be a blow to the innocent eight year old. He only hoped the impact wouldn't be too painful. He himself had been older when his own parents had split up, and he'd been fine with it. He hoped Jamie would be too, despite his much younger age. He hoped people's claims that children bounced back quickly was really true. Jamie was a tough kid so, in all likelihood, he would come to terms fairly fast with his parents' separation. Probably faster than he himself would, seeing as he still wasn't okay with the thought of losing his precious saving grace. Even if it was his own damn fault.
...
It was a long while before he spoke as he paced the floor, his mind reeling with the news he'd just received. An affair? No, that was impossible. They were Lucas and Peyton-the couple who'd cheated with each other on more than one occasion, but never on each other. This had to be some kind of cruel joke.
"Lucas, I'm so sorry," Peyton cried, unable to think of anything useful to say.
He vaguely heard her through the muddled mess of his mind. "Tell me I'm not hearing this," he whispered softly. He couldn't be hearing this because that would surely break his heart.
"I wish I could do that," she returned regretfully. "But you deserve to know the truth so..."
"I deserve to know the truth?" he repeated scornfully, anger setting in fast. "What I deserve is a faithful wife," he said through gritted teeth. "Or maybe I don't," he went on. "Maybe this is karmic payback coming to bite me in the ass."
"No, Luke, that's crazy. Of course you deserve a wife's who's faithful, and I'm so sorry that I wasn't. You have to know that I didn't plan any of it. It just happened."
"Just happened?" he scoffed once more. "Just happened for three months?" he pointed out irately, remembering that detail of her confession now.
"I fell in love, Luke," she spoke softly. "I know that's probably not what you want to hear, and you probably hate me right now..."
He looked at her like she were some kind of disgusting insect crawling on the floor, and he shook his head in disbelief. "Three months and you're just telling me now," he said accusingly.
"I wanted to tell you so many times," she admitted. "But I didn't know how to do it without hurting you."
"How considerate," he lashed out sardonically. "Instead you keep the affair going and pretend like you and I are all right. And damn fool that I am, I struggled every day to try to find ways you could stay in L.A. and fulfill your dream."
"You're not a fool, Luke..."
"No, you're right," he agreed. "You're just very good at make believe."
"Lucas, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."
"You've been home at least twice a month since going to L.A., and you never once let on. You let me make love to you in that time," he gasped as the realization of that hit him.
She broke eye contact, ashamed to admit the truth of his words.
"How could you do that?" he questioned furiously. "How could you make fake love to me and then go back to L.A. and screw some other guy?"
"Luke, listen to me," she tried to explain. "What we had was never fake. I didn't want it to be like this, ok? I didn't ask or expect to fall in love with someone else, but I did and if I could take it back and do things the right way, I would. But I can't change what's already done. That doesn't mean what you and I had wasn't real."
The tears streamed down her cheeks as she practically begged him to understand.
He didn't. He couldn't. "Who is he?" he asked irately. "Does he know you're married with a daughter?"
"Yes," she answered faintly, but he heard her all the same. "He knows."
Lucas frowned at her answer. "Who is he?" he repeated. "Who is this son of bitch who can knowingly get between a family like that?"
...
"You have been practising," Nathan said as Jamie won the second game in a row.
"See, I told you," his son boasted. "I've been practising real basketball too, with Uncle Lucas," Jamie revealed. "But I'm still not as good as you."
Nathan chuckled at the comment. "I wasn't as good as I am when I was eight either," he said. "It took years of practice and hard work."
"With Grandpa Dan?" Jamie asked curiously.
Nathan considered the question a moment before finally nodding. "A lot of the time, yeah."
"When your season's over, will you teach me how to play better?"
"If that's what you want."
"It is," Jamie replied. "I want to play on the Ravens when I get to high school, just like you did. But I'm scared I won't be as good as you and Grandpa Dan and get my jersey on the wall."
"Oh, you will," Nathan assured him. "It's a Scott boy thing," he boasted. "We're meant to shine."
"Uncle Lucas doesn't have his jersey on the wall and he's a Scott."
"Well, that's because Uncle Lucas got sick in high school and had to quit playing. If that hadn't happened, his jersey would be up there too."
"What if I get sick in high school, like Uncle Lucas?"
"Not gonna happen."
"But what if it does and I can't play basketball?"
"Then I guess you'd have to deal with it and find something else to do, like he did," Nathan replied honestly.
"Would you still be proud of me?"
Nathan stared at his son, taken back by the unexpected question. "Jamie, of course. You're my son and I'm gonna love you and be proud of you no matter what."
"Ok, just checking," Jamie responded happily.
"You don't have to check, you goof ball," Nathan returned lightly. "You're the best thing to happen to me."
"Then how come you didn't Skype with me yesterday?" Jamie asked him. "Mom said you fell asleep. Did you?"
Nathan could only nod because he couldn't tell his son the truth, but neither could he outright lie to him. "You ready for another one or what?" he asked by way of changing the subject.
"Ready," Jamie answered, anxious for another win.
...
Peyton opened her mouth to answer Luke's question, but snapped it shut, something stopping her. Probably Luke's already enraged state. "Just someone in L.A.," she said. It wasn't a lie.
"His name," Luke insisted.
"Does his name really matter?" she asked.
"The guy's been fucking my wife, so yeah, it matters!"
Her head shot up in alarm. In all the time she'd known Lucas, this was the first time she'd heard him use that word. "Luke," she called out, standing and attempting to reach for him. "Please calm down."
He laughed a dry, non-humorous laugh and jumped back from her touch. "Don't", he snarled crossly.
She pulled back, wisely heeding his warning.
"I want his name," he repeated for the third time.
"I'm sorry, I can't give you that," she replied, unsure whether she was trying to protect Lucas, Nathan, or herself. As it was, Lucas was far too angry and distraught to provide that information. How much worse would he be to learn the other guy was his own brother? "It's no one you know," she lied, unable to meet his eyes as she did so. There went telling him the whole truth. Maybe he didn't have to know it all.
"Then why not tell me who he is?" Luke pushed.
"Because I know you'll go out searching for him and probably get yourself in trouble when you sucker punch him."
He laughed bitterly again at her reference to his behaviour with Julian a few years back. Yes, he'd sucker punched him, but the guy had deserved it, just as this new guy did. "Don't pretend like you give a damn about me," he said.
"I do give a damn, Luke. If you don't believe anything else, then believe that."
He simply scoffed at the statement.
"Besides that," Peyton continued. "He's married too."
He scowled at that bit of news. "See now, that makes more sense," he said irately. "You're worried about him, not me."
"I'm worried about both of you," she countered. "Lucas, trust me, I do still care about you. We've been through too much together not to, and it wouldn't do you any good to go chasing after him in a rage."
"Trust you?" he questioned scornfully, zoning in on that particular part of her statement. "You got a lot of nerve, you know that? Believe me when I say I could never trust you again."
"I just meant..."
"I don't care what you meant," he replied sharply. "Because you can go to hell. You and your new boytoy both."
"Luke..."
"You really do hate to see me happy, don't you?" he snarled. "Even if it's with you."
"No..."
"Well, congratulations, Peyton Scott, soon to be Peyton Sawyer again. You broke me this time. Hope you're happy."
Before she could respond, he walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him.
And she flopped down on the couch sobbing, her body shaking violently from the force of it, before fishing her phone out of her purse and dialing Nathan's cell.
...
A/N: Ahh, yeah I know, only a partial reveal. Sorry about that guys. All will come out at some point, I swear.
