Author's Note: I still don't own anything associated with this story except my own ideas.
Sorry about the long wait. Now that I am back from vacation and school is on a role, I hope to be able to update about once a week, or once every other week. Think happy thoughts.
Kelly Clarkson – Because of You
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
Despite the combined healing efforts of Kagome and Sesshoumaru, Kagome was still slow to fully convalesce. Inuyasha had come around the shrine twice since the battle, and both times he had been turned away by Kagome's mother, with the gentle but insistent explanation that it was best that Kagome not be disturbed during her training, for the sooner she finished it the sooner she could return. Inuyasha would insist that Kagome was needed, and Mrs Higurashi (sp) would calmly ask if Kikyo was not sufficient to help find the Shikon shards like Inuyasha needed. After sputtering an incoherent response Inuyasha would be sent on his way, and a message delivered by Souta to the dojo where his sister trained let Kagome know of the growing impatience of Inuyasha.
Kagome could not say how long she had been training, but from the seriousness of her companions she knew that something big was about to happen.
"I go back soon, don't I?" Kagome did not look to Sesshoumaru as she spoke. Since her injury the two of them had taken to dining together in the evening. There were several places restaurants in the area that met with Sesshoumaru's standards as well as Kagome's sensibilities, so on the evenings that Kagome was not out with Kagura she dined with Sesshoumaru. She had come to learn a lot about the youkai during her convalescence, and she now considered him a close friend. If her consciousness nagged her that perhaps friend was not the right word, she pushed it to the back of her mind, claiming that her training took precedence.
"You return tomorrow, and you will be gone for several weeks. There are things that you must do before you return again."
"Kagura and Kanna have been unusually quiet recently. Even Souta commented on Kanna's behavior." Kagome glanced to Sesshoumaru as he held open the door to an Indian restaurant that they both appreciated and he met her gaze evenly.
As they settled into a booth in the corner Sesshouamru answered "You will be careful when you go back? Your side still bothers you when you train. Inuyasha will know that you injured it somehow." Sesshoumaru locked gazes with Kagome, and she drew in her breath at the dark intensity in his gaze.
"It is that serious, then?"
Sesshoumaru nodded and Kagome sighed. "Worrying about what has already happened will change nothing for you Sesshoumaru, and I will not fret about that which is to come. When it comes I will deal with it. Am I to meet up with you this time as well? I should perhaps think of more impertinent things to say to the great taiyoukai." Kagome smiled at Sesshoumaru who met her gaze, no humor in his face. Usually he joined in her teasing of his past self, but today his humor could not be drawn out.
It was at this moment that the waiter came, and after ordering the usual waters, curry sampler and unlimited nan, Seshoumaru answered.
"The Taiyoukai is—"
"Sesshoumaru, whatever happens I know that you have changed. I will not hold it against you. I told you once, the things in the past shape who you are today. I like who you are now, and what you do in the past will not change that. I just have to remember that he is not you, and make sure to treat him as such."
Kagome placed a hand on top of the pair that Sesshoumaru had folded on the table and smiled. "Sesshou, worry about it while I am gone, then. Don't spoil the time we have tonight. I want to have a good memory of you to think back on in case I need to. Grant me this at least?"
Sesshoumaru was startled by the seriousness of Kagome's tone and looked at her questioningly "I can feel the seriousness in the air. I know that something major will happen when I am gone, and I hope that I don't mess things up. I hope that I am strong enough to deal with things." Kagome drew in an uneasy breath. "So much depends on me, and I don't know if I am capable of doing what needs to be done. I am terrified of messing up and changing all of your futures."
"Is the fact that we are here not proof that you succeed?"
"It should be, but if that were enough, then you all would not worry so about me." Kagome paused at their food was brought for the table. "I don't remember anymore what it is like to be normal, to not have the shikon no tama dictate my life and my actions. It would be nice, for a little while, to forget who I was, and the duty that guides me, and just be Kagome."
"Then why not just be Kagome Higurashi, out for the evening with Sesshoumaru Dacry, and let the morning bring what it shall?" Sesshoumaru smiled at Kagome. "If this Sesshoumaru can bring you this small happiness he would be honored to assist you in this, though I wish there was more I could do to bring you happiness."
The smile on Sesshoumaru's face did not change, much to his credit and thanks to years of experience as a Taiyoukai, as Kagome felt an unexplainable blush cover her cheeks.
"If that Sesshouamru can find time in his schedule to help occupy this ningen miko, and distract her from herself, then this miko would be happy to allow the assistance." Kagome's was soft, hesitant, and she found herself trying to downplay the situtation, a fact which Sesshouamru would not ignore.
"I wish to help Kagome, not the miko. You wish to forget that you are a miko for the evening, do you not?" Sesshoumaru smirked and motioned to the food. "Eat, we have a full evening ahead of us."
Kagome arched an eyebrow in question but Sesshouamru shook his head. It would be a surprise for her. He had been waiting for an opportunity of this nature, and while he wished the circumstances were different, Sesshoumaru was not one to waste an opportunity when so presented. This would be an evening that would prove, without a doubt, that Sesshoumaru Dacry was not the Taiyoukai Sesshoumaru that Kagome would soon meet, though he vehemently wished that it were Darcy and not the taiyoukai that she would be encountering. Things would go much better if it had been his present self. It would not due, however to dwell in the past when his present sat across the table from him.
Kagome was reluctant to get out of bed in the morning and head towards the well. Sesshoumaru Darcy had kept her out late indeed, with a surprise trip to Odaiba that included some shopping, time at the arcade (the thought of Sesshoumaru playing video games brought a smile to Kagome's face), and a trip around the Ferris wheel. Sesshoumaru then had Jaken take Kagome and himself to an onsen that a youkai acquaintance of his owned. He had to the entire building rented out, so Kagome had the entire female side of the onsen to herself.
"Enjoy the luxury, Kagome. I know that you enjoy the onsen, and at least this time you can truly relax. After this, I will take you home." Was what Sesshoumaru had said, and as Kagome sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she shook her head at the new armor and weapons that Sesshoumaru had surprised her with after her time in the onsen. It was a gift from everyone, he said, and was something that they all wished for her to wear. While it was a reminder of the battles to come, it also touched Kagome, reminding her just how much her youkai companions cared about her.
Kagome quietly dressed, trying not to wake her family as she prepared for the day. She now rose with the sun, habit from the weeks of training, but it also gave her time, should she need it, to focus her thoughts on the time to come, and prepare for the battle ahead.
Kagome moved in silence down the stairs, her weapons in a bundle in her arms. She would not arm herself in her families house, there as no need. Kagome smiled at her mother, who sat at the table, with a pot of tea and breakfast ready for Kagome.
"A home cooked meal before you go will be good for you. You have been so busy with training that I worry that you don't eat well." Mrs. Higurashi smiled at Kagome as she sat down, and Kagome returned the smile.
"Sesshoumaru and Kagura make sure that I stay well fed." Kagome began to eat the food her mother had prepared and her mother smiled.
"You spend a lot of time with this Sesshoumaru, do you not?"
"Sesshoumaru is a friend." Kagome looked away from her mother as a blush covered her face, and her mother merely hmmed and continued to sip her tea.
"I will look forward to your return, Kagome. Take care."
"I will, okaa-san."
Kagome found that her steps slowed as she approached Kaede's village. She was anxious. Inuyasha had become more and more insistent that she return, and Sesshoumaru had been right when he said that Kagome still favored the side that had been injured when she rescued Rin and the young village boy. She did not know how to tell Inuyasha that her return this time was still not for good, that she had more training to do in her time. Maybe he would be so impressed with her new skills that he would let her train more? Kagome snorted at that thought. If anything he would take her new powers as a sign that they were ready to face Naraku and that she did not need to train more.
She just wished she knew what things she needed to accomplish in this trip back. Kagome knew that she would figure it out, that things would reveal themselves as they needed, but the anxiety that she would mess up was still there, fresh in her mind. She did not wish to change her future, by altering the past, not did she wish to ruin the lives of her cherished friends. She smiled to herself. In high school she had thought she was under a lot of pressure, and her friends, with only school to worry about, had constantly stressed. When the future of the world lies in your hands, that is stress.
Kagome could hear the typical morning commotion from Kaede's hut, as a resounding slap echoes through the morning. Sango's voice carried though the air as she wondered if Miroku would ever be able to behave himself, and the monk replied that his hand only caressed Sango's bottom these days. Kagome could picture the blush on Sango's face as she rewarded Miroku with another slap, and Kagome could not help the quiet chuckle that fell from her lips.
She stilled, as she thought she head someone leaving Keade's hut to come investigate the noise, but let out the breath she held in relief. She wished to surpise them with her return, and for the moment even Kikyo had not seemed to notice her return.
The armor that Sesshoumaru had presented her with was set of breast and shoulder plates that went over her miko garb. The breast plate cinched around the waist, and extended down, to protect her hips and upper thighs. The arm plates were constructed in parts, so she had her freedom of movement but protected both her upper and lower arms. She had been presented with a new pair of boots, as well as a new bow, arrows, knives and a short sword. She wore more armor then any of her companions, and carried more weapons than any of them as well.
As her shadow covered the door to Kaede's hut, Inuyasha finally seemed to notice her presence, for her stepped outside with a scowl, Kikyo behind him.
"It took you long enough. We can get on with killing Naraku now."
"It is still not yet the time to kill Naraku. There are things that must be done first." Kagome did not meet Inuyasha's gaze, but looked to Kikyo who stood behind him.
"What?" Inuyasha growled. "You have been gone all this time and you are still not ready to defeat Naraku? What good is this training then?"
"At the very least I can protect myself, so you can focus on protecting your mate to be." Kagome met Inuyasha's gaze and he blushed slightly. "You cannot mark her yet."
"How do you know about that?" Inuyasha stuttered and Kagome smiled, sadness on her face.
"She and I share the same soul, Inuyasha. When you try to mark her, you try to tie my soul to you. It might be Kikyo's body and Kikyo's mind, but when you try and mark her, it is my soul that you try to bind to yours. If you mark her, I will be your mate, not Kikyo." Kagome sighed. "I have felt when you have tried, and it has not been easy."
"What?" Inuyasha spun to look at Kikyo, who smiled sadly.
"I have told you this many times, Inuyasha, you just do not listen. It is not maidenly modesty as you put it. I cannot mate with you yet. And you said you understood why." Kikyo glanced to Kagome. "When I have my own soul I can be yours, but not before then.
"He has not listened when we have discussed this Kagome." Miroku's voice was soft as he stepped from behind Kikyo, Sango following. "He has finally seen that you and Kikyo are two separate people, but in doing so seemed to forget that at the moment you both share your soul."
"Even as your intended Kikyo will be in a lot of danger. If Naraku finds out she will be the target, not me. Her presence here among us will incite much anger in him." Kagome frowned.
"I will be fine, Kagome. I can protect myself, and Inuyasha will do his best as well." Kikyo smiled. "I knew the danger when I agreed. When this is over we shall have a wedding, and a mating ceremony, but in case that cannot come to pass, this is enough, knowing that I am his intended."
Kagome looked around the group with a frown. "Where is Shippo?"
Everyone stilled, and finally it was Sango who spoke. "About a week ago Sesshoumaru came by the village with some kitsune youkai. Shippou recognized them as relatives of his. Cousins of some of his cousins. Sesshoumaru suggested that it would be in Shippou's best interest to go with his family." Sango's voice was soft. "I am sorry Kagome. We tried to convince Shippo to stay, to wait to leave until you came back, but he was so excited. They said they would be back today, so see you."
"I see." Kagome's voice was tight. "Where is the taiyoukai now?"
"Standing behind the ningen miko." Sesshoumaru's voice was level and Kagome did not jump in surprise as he had expected. When she turned he smirked slightly, as he saw the sheen of tears in her eyes.
"If everyone will excuse me, I need to have a word with the taiyoukai." Kagome did not look to her companions as she advanced on Sesshouamru. "Kikyo let me know when Shippo is back. Sesshouamru, walk with me." Kagome did not give the Taiyoukai a choice as she advanced towards him, forcing him to take a step back as to not contaminate his body with her ningen one.
Kagome did not hear Rin as she greeted the miko, nor did she notice Jaken's squawk of outrage as Kagome advanced on Sesshouamru. Jaken's squawks quieted as he felt the miko energy in the air building and moved to follow his Sesshouamru-sama, but was halted as Inuyasha picked him up by his collar.
"Let the two of them have a word. Sesshoumaru interfered in something that he had no right to." Inuyasha tossed Jaken to the ground and gazed after Kagome and Sesshouamru, his gaze worried.
Sesshoumaru had turned around and walked with quick steps. He walked to a small clearing close to the village and stopped, turning to face the miko.
"Make it quick."
"For a dedicated taiyoukai like yourself, one who cares so greatly about your lands, you have a lor of free time on your hands to interfere in the insignificant life of the miko of the shikon no tama." Kagome leaned against a tree and fiddled with her bow, not looking at Sesshoumaru.
"You are mistaken. This Sesshoumaru—"
"Has been loitering around the village for a few weeks, waiting for me to return. I would guess that not long after I had to save Rin because you were not looking out for her, you decided that I was not a proper guardian for Shippo, and set out to right matters." Kagome glanced at Sesshoumaru. "Have you been home since the incident?"
Kagome was greeted by silence and she smiled slightly.
"For one who cannot aid us to defeat Naraku, because he is so busy protecting his lands, you spend a lot of time in places other than your lands. Naraku knows you are here as well, and I am sure that he will use that to his advantage." Kagome stiffened, and glanced into the forest with a small smile and a nod.
"Shippo is here. I will talk to you later." Kagome stepped away from the tree, and paused at the edge of the clearing. "It would be in your best interest to not interfere in things that are none of your concern, youkai. I know that you would not react kindly is I took it upon myself to place Rin with a ningen family because you put her in harms way."
Kagome could hear Sesshoumaru's growl as she walked away, but she did not turn around. Kikyo had said that Shippou was near, and that his guardians, cousins many times removed, were in the village, but that they were very anxious to leave. They did not seem comfortable in the village, nor did they seem to like the idea that Shippo was excited to see the miko of the shikon no tama. Kikyo also said that she felt a hint of the aura of Naraku around them, and it worried her.
Surprisingly Sesshoumaru did not strike the miko as she walked away, though he was sorely tempted. She did not acknowledge his presence as he well into stride beside her. When the pair reached the village the group murmured their surprise that both parties came back seemingly no worse for the wear. Something was wrong with the world.
As Shippo sensed Kagome coming into the village, he ignored the shouts of his new guardians and ran to Kagome, jumping into her arms. He buried his head in her neck, and his words were muffled but Kagome smiled as he spoke.
"I missed you Kagome. I didn't want to leave, really I didn't. My cousins said if I was going to come with them that I had to go then. And I wanted to go with them, but I didn't not want to say goodbye to you. You take sure good care of me."
Kagome glanced to Sesshoumaru with a smirk, since she knew that he heard Shippo's praises.
"Hey, Shippou, have you run into Naraku recently?"
Shippo glanced at Kagome, his eyes serious. "So you sense it to? The aura on them hasn't gotten any stronger since I joined with them, but thay were in contact with someone who has something to do with Naraku." His voice was low. "I don't know what the contact was about. I don't want my cousins to be involved with Naraku. I finally have family again." Shippo sighed and leaned against Kagome's shoulder. He missed the pain that haunted her eyes at his words, but she smiled anyway, Sesshoumaru closely watching the two.
"You will always have family here, Shippo. We may not be related by blood, but if you need me I will always be here." She reached into her pocket with a free hand, and pulled a simple necklace with a charm that said luck on it out. "Just in case, wear this. It will protect you until I can get to you." Shippo looked at Kagome again and beamed. "No one will be able to remove this from you, only you can take it off. It carried the blessing of a miko.
"Kagome has always been good to me." Shippo smiled at her. "Thank you." Shippo was unusually serious, and Kagome wondered what had happened to cause the change in Shippo.
"You don't have to go back."
Shippo smiled, though his eyes held a seriousness that was not there before. "You know I need to, Kagome. I need to see this though. And I have you to protect me."
"The miko is not capable of protecting anyone. Do not be surprised if that trinket fails you."
Shippo looked to Sesshoumaru and laughed. "I think that you are just upset that the cousins you handpicked to take me away from Kagome are tainted with Naraku."
Sesshoumaru allowed a startled expression to flicker across his face.
Shippo had a serious look in his eye. "You attempts to upset Kagome are not very subtle, Sesshoumaru-sama. And my new guardians talk when they think I am asleep. They aren't very smart, Sesshouamru-sama. It is a severe lack of judgement on your part. Your revenge against Kagome is ill advised. I heard them discussing the other night that why you are here obsessing over the ningen miko that Naraku was using this time to send youkai into your lands. Currently they are spreading rumors that you have abandoned them, and that you don't care that Naraku's minions are slowly taking over your lands."
Kagome glanced to Sesshouamru. "It seems that I was correct, Sesshouamru-sama." Kagome looked to Shippo. "You can stay here, no one would think less of you."
"I need to do this, Kagome. You have been like a mother to me, and Naraku is planning something. Why else would be seize this opportunity, using Sesshoumaru's obsession with the ningen miko to his advantage. I did not think Sesshoumaru would allow himself to play so easily into Naraku's hands." Shippo could see that both he and Kagome were very adept at saying just the right think to irritate the taiyoukai and he smiled. He could see Sesshouamru tense, and his jaki rise, and as he lunges at the pair he felt Kagome's powers rise, and Sesshoumaru was slammed into a barrier of purifying energy as Kagome walked forward.
"Take care of yourself Shippo. I will be here for you. Anytime you need me to. And when you have finished this task, come back to your family, alright?"
"Of course." Shippo beamed at Kagome then jumped out of her arms, scampering back over to his cousins, back in his child act. The female kitsune picked Shippo up, and pearched on her shoulder he waved at Kagome until they were out of site, moving at youkai speed.
"That was a very interesting meeting." Kagome smiled. "I suppose that means that youw ill be leaving us now, Sesshouamru-sama?" Kagome did not look at the youkai who joined her, though all could tell that he was irritated about slamming into a barrier. "It isn't nice to attack people because they are right and tell the truth, Sesshoumaru-sama. I am surprised at you. I though there was something other then brute strength that allowed you to keep control of your lands, but I guess you were wrong." Kagome cocked her head to the side. "Since it seems Naraku is giving you trouble in your land, it might be in your best interest to let Rin stay here with us. I would hate for her to encounter life threatening danger yet again." Kagome knew that she was being snippy, and pushing the taiyoukai more then was safe, but it was the only way to take out her frustrations on him. She could not beat him in a fight, that she knew." She saw Sesshouamru tense, and get ready to lunge, and Kagome gave him a look and bent down, catching Rin in her arms as the girl, now about ten, ran over to great her with a hung. Her look spoke volumes, but the most obvious was a 'shame on you, trying to kill me in front of Rin. You really should know better than that' look.
"Tell Rin bye, Sesshouamru. We will be here when you get done." Kagome straightened as she felt her miko power pulse, the necklace she had given Shippo had been activated.
'I will be back in a moment. It seems that I must go rescue Shippo. Those Naraku tainted guardians that Sesshouamru found do not seem to be doing their duty. It might be best if you were not here when I return Sesshouamru. I am slightly irritated that you placed my son in such danger. I am sure that he feels the same way." Kagome bent down and smiled at Rin. "I will be back in a moment, then we can catch up on things, alright Rin?"
"Uhn." The girl smiled at Kagome, who sprang up on a transformed Kirara and rode off into the forest.
Inuyasha, Sango and Miroku stood speechless, watching the entire exchange with wide eyes and gaping mouths, while Kikyo just smiled, the secret woman smile.
"What the hell is going on here?" Inuyasha asked as Sesshoumaru walked away, leaving Rin in the village under the care of Kagome.
It did not take long for Kirara to reach Shippo. Kagome did not have to guide Kirara, for the pull of Kagome's power was strong. When Kagome and Kirara arrived Shippo was safely behind a Kagome originating barrier and his cousins were no where in site. An oni, possessed by the aura of naraku and tainted with the presence of three shikon shards, slashed at the barrier, howling with pain as it sent purifying shocks through him.
"Daijoubu deska?" Kagome asked, and Shippou nodded his agreement. Kagome slipped of Kirara and drew a sword. Using of the techniques she learned during training Kagome infused her miko energy into the sword, drawing the attention of the oni to her. It was a young oni, its claws slightly less deadly than the adult oni, but it was still enough to be wary of, especially with the shikon shards. Kagome smirked, a brilliant idea coming to mind. She closed her eyes in concentration and felt the shikon shards, and could feel the oni coming towards her. Instead of calling the shard to her, Kagome sent a wave of purification to the shard, purifying that shards that were embedded just above the heart of the oni. Screaming in pain, the oni stopped its advance on Kagome and fell to the ground. It was then that Kagome called the shards to her, and the screams of the oni stopped as the purified shards left its body. With the purification of the shards the presence of Naraku's jaki dissipated as well and Kagome smiled in relief.
"Go home, little one. There is nothing for you here but death." Kagome waited for the oni to get up, her gaze focused on the oni. It contemplated her for a moment, before turning and running back into the woods. Kagome let the barrier around Shippo down, and swept him up into her arms.
"Loitering in the woods is not becoming, Sesshoumaru. I hope that the miko incapable of protecting anything has proven you wrong. I will take good care of Rin for you, Sesshouamru-sama. I will protect her with my life should something come." Kagome felt Sesshoumaru's aura fade as he rushed off, and Kagome looked Shippo in the eye.
"Shippo, do you trust me?"
"Of course, okaa-san."
"Good."
Kagome settled onto the ground, letting Shippo rest in her lap. She leaned back on her hands and looked over to the lef,t in the direction that the oni had run off to.
"Kagura, Kanna, you can come out now. I think I know why you have come. There are, however, better ways to get my attention that using Shippo."
"My apologies, Miko." Kagura stepped out of the woods, Kanna following her like a silent shadow. "I hope that this will not predispose you to deny our request."
"Have a seat." Kagome motioned to the ground in front of her. I will summon Kikyo, we will need her here for this as well."
"As you wish." Kagura bowed to Kagome and settled on the ground. Kanna leaned against her, watching Kagome with a look that Kagome had come to know as wistful.
