McCoy looked around Jim's cabin as he sipped his drink. It wasn't as smooth as the whiskeys made on Earth, but it was a decent facsimile despite a bit of a floral aftertaste. He still had a decent stash of the good stuff, but since Jim had gone through the effort of getting this on his last away mission, who was he not to enjoy it?

He watched his friend swirl the alcohol in his glass, without drinking it. There was something about the set of his shoulders, the tension in his neck, that let McCoy know that this wasn't merely a social invitation for drinks in his cabin. Thinking back, McCoy realized it had probably been a good month or longer since they'd had a quiet drink as friends.

Sure, they'd shared meals together and with others. They'd seen each other at staff meetings and during the ship's entertainment functions set up by Yeoman Rand and the entertainment committee. They'd even shared a drink or two in his office after Jim had visited sickbay to talk with injured away team members. But actually being invited to the captain's quarters for drinks hadn't happened in a long while.

Strange.

Of course, it wasn't really too surprising. They were both busy learning their new jobs as CMO and captain. In the three months that they had been on this ship they had been to seven planets and two star bases. They'd been involved in four mediations, two of which filled his medbay with patients, and a lot of flag waving and glad handing. There hadn't been much time to sit and chat.

If Jim wasn't busy with diplomatic duties or the usual day to day running of the Enterprise, McCoy was dealing with an explosion in engineering or an outbreak of some weird alien sickness brought back by an away team. He didn't care what Scotty said, the transporters were not capable of eradicating 99.9% of the viruses, spores, bacteria and other shit that the away teams brought back to the Enterprise. He still thought a full body scrub down station and the burning of all uniforms was the best way to go. Not that anyone would let him.

But cleanliness aside, he and Jim hadn't really talked in awhile. He knew all the diplomatic crap was not something Jim enjoyed. And being stuck on a tin can for months was enough to drive anyone nuts, but especially his friend.

He knew that Jim had taken what amounted to a vow of chastity when their mission began. It wouldn't do for the Captain to sleep his way through his female crew members. Life on a starship was like living in a fishbowl, especially for the captain. He knew there were plenty of crew members – female and male – who would gladly make themselves available to the captain if he asked, but McCoy knew he wouldn't.

Jim took his responsibilities seriously, despite his playboy image back at the academy. But he was ultimately a social creature. He liked women. He enjoyed being in their company and three months without sex had to be driving him nuts. He knew the rumors swirling about Jim's unaccountable interest in Ensign O'Donnell, the "little librarian" he'd heard her called by a couple of his nurses, but he was pretty sure nothing had happened between them. At least, nothing more.

This latest stop at Veelox was supposed to have included a bit of off time for the captain. The inhabitants of the planet had been trusted members of the Federation for over fifty years. Jim and his command team – the 'heroes' – were expected to do a meet and greet to impress the natives. Jim was the poster boy for Starfleet and everyone wanted to see him. Then it was time for some relaxation.

There had been a shore leave lottery for a third of the crew. McCoy hadn't gone planet-side except for the initial banquet. Jungles were not his idea of fun, and while there were a couple of good sized cities and lots of recreational opportunities that didn't include tramping through foliage, he wasn't interested in staying longer. He knew Yeoman Rand had booked Jim into the nicest hotel on the planet for a week, on Starfleet orders.

But for someone who supposedly just spent the last week relaxing and chasing tail – if McCoy knew anything about his friend – Jim looked way to tense to have enjoyed himself.

Studying Jim over the rim of his glass, McCoy figured he had to be the one to start this conversation if they weren't going to be here all night.

"So, Jim," he started, "for a man who just had seven days of shore leave you don't look that rested."

Shrugging his shoulders and finally taking a sip of his drink, Jim sighed. "It was nice. Big bed, soft sheets. I got a massage. Did some hiking in the surrounding jungle. Watched some vids I hadn't seen yet. You know, aside from being furry, the people of Veelox are a lot like us – people from Earth, I mean."

"Really?" McCoy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, they've really embraced off planet entertainments and culture. It was like being in San Francisco – or New York, maybe. Big and flashy, but surrounded by a jungle. Interesting, really."

"Interesting," McCoy repeated, closely watching his friend who had yet to look at him. "Go to any interesting clubs or bars while you were down there?"

Jim shrugged. "A couple."

"Meet any interesting females?" McCoy prodded. Normally by this point in the conversation Jim would be regaling him with his exploits with all the women he had met, picked up and/or slept with. That he was so subdued was worrying.

"Fur is not really my thing," Jim finally told him.

Both McCoy's eyebrows shot up at that statement. While he knew that Jim was not nearly as indiscriminate in his partners as people liked to portray him, he also knew that his friend was… up for a new experience if it should present itself. "Well, if fur doesn't interest you, I know for a fact that there were plenty of other species of humanoid females down there. Any of them catch your fancy?"

Jim sat back with a sigh and finally looked at McCoy. "No," he said, almost in a whisper.

"No?" McCoy repeated in surprise.

"No, damn it!" Jim exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. And then the damn seemed to burst. "I tried. Honestly, I did. After three months on this ship and the month on Earth being practically interrogated by Starfleet… I felt like I had to get off this ship and find someone or explode! I haven't had sex in almost four months. I've never gone that long," Jim whined.

"Suffering is good for the soul," McCoy couldn't help commenting, with a sly smile.

Jim glared at him. "Shut up Bones, you're not helping."

"Who said I was here to help?" McCoy asked.

Rolling his eyes, Jim sat forward, resting his head in his hands. "It's not like I didn't have offers," he said quietly. "I did. And a couple of them I was actually interested in, but when it got to the point… I just couldn't."

"'Couldn't' as in not able to, or 'couldn't' as in not wanting to?"

"Couldn't as in once things got going it just didn't feel right and I didn't want to any more," Jim admitted.

"Didn't feel right?" McCoy repeated. "Was it because of the fur?"

Jim sat back again. "I don't know! I thought so at first, so I tried looking for someone, you know, more human. There was this really hot Deltan that I thought maybe…" he shrugged. "And then I met this girl, Treena, at a bar. She was cute. Long legs, honey blonde hair and the greenest eyes I've ever seen. They way she could dance… it was amazing."

"But," McCoy prodded.

"But, she was part Betazoid," he stated tonelessly. "Not half, maybe a quarter or a third. I didn't ask, but it was enough. Once we started touching she, well, she told me that she could tell that I wasn't really interested in her and she wasn't willing to be a… an object."

"Ouch," McCoy commiserated.

"Yeah," Jim agreed. "After that I decided to stay away from the clubs and go hiking and stuff."

They sat in silence for awhile, both thinking over what Jim had revealed.

"So, the question begs to be asked," McCoy finally broke the silence, "if you weren't interested in her, who were you interested in?"

"I don't know!"

"Don't you?" McCoy muttered under his breath. "Listen kid. At the beginning of all this you said it didn't feel right. That could've been the fur. That's understandable. But with the hot Deltan and the part-Betazoid…"

"and the Tandaran," Jim interrupted.

McCoy's eyebrows rose. "And the Tandaran," he added to the list. "With these women, how did it feel?"

"It felt good. It felt nice," Jim struggled to find the right words. "It felt…"

"It felt good and nice, but it didn't feel right," McCoy suggested.

"I don't know!" Jim exclaimed in a huff. "What does that mean, anyway? Did it feel right? What the fuck does that mean? It's sex. It's supposed to feel good. What does right have to do with it?"

"I don't know, Jim. You brought it up. What did you mean?"

"What are you, my psychiatrist?" Jim asked with a glare before downing his drink and pouring another.

"Lord help me if I was," McCoy said rolling his eyes. "I'm just a friend you invited over for drinks."

Jim continued to stare into his drink. McCoy sighed. Oh well, in for a penny…

"How's Marissa?"

Jim's eyes snapped up to his. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. "You think this is about Marissa?" He took another deep swallow of his drink.

"I don't know, kid. Is it?"

Taking his time pouring another drink, Jim sat back and looked up at the ceiling. "I don't know," he finally said softly. "I just don't know, Bones."

McCoy finished his drink and reached for the bottle to pour himself some more. "Well, rumor on the ship is that you have an interest in 'the little librarian,'" he told his friend.

"Little librarian?" Jim repeated with a small smile.

"Well, she is short," McCoy pointed out.

Jim nodded, still watching the ceiling. "What else are they saying?" he finally asked.

"Nothing much that I've heard," McCoy told him honestly. "I'm not exactly in the gossip loop for items regarding you. I could tell you some things about Hennessey in engineering, though."

"No thanks," Jim told him with a humorless smile. "God, I hate being captain sometimes."

McCoy smirked. "No you don't."

Jim looked at him briefly and then gave him another small smile. "No, I don't. Not really. Being captain… this is what I've wanted since I entered the academy. But I didn't expect to be… to have…" he trailed off. "It's like living in a glass house. Everyone knows everything about me – what I do, what I eat, who I talk to. And I'm the captain and I'm supposed to set the example and sometimes all I want to do is… is do something that will shock the hell out of everyone and get them off my back!

"Do you know I finally had to have a chat with Lt. Hartley and Ensign Mun?" Jim asked with a frown. "They had some kind of competition going to see who could get into my bed first. I mean really! Are we still in high school?"

Laughing slightly, McCoy shook his head at the look of indignation on his friend's face. "Well Jim, there are only 557 people on board this ship. And it's really not that big of a ship – especially when we're spending months and months at a time stuck together. Emotions and hormones are known to run a bit wild at times."

"I know that, Bones," Jim snapped. "But I'm the captain, damn it! Not some prize to be won. I deserve some respect don't I? I'm a good captain, right?"

"Yes, Jim. You're a good captain," McCoy reassured him. "I'd even go so far as to say you're a great captain – though I won't put it in writing – but you are also a young, good looking male. You should be used to the interest of the female population by now."

"You think I'm good looking?" Jim asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

McCoy rolled his eyes. "It's not my opinion that counts, but from what I have overheard from my female staff you are not sore on the eyes. Not really my type, but I trust my nurses."

Jim snorted. "Thanks."

"Getting back to my initial point," McCoy continued, "you're the captain, you're an object for gossip and that gossip has you linked with Ensign O'Donnell. How do you see your relationship with Marissa? And did your feelings towards her affect your encounters on Veelox?"

Jim sighed and took another drink. "I like her. A lot. She's smart. She's got this quirky, sarcastic humor that catches me by surprise sometimes. She's passionate about what she does, I can relate to that. She'll listen to me bitch and moan about stuff – paperwork or Spock, or the Admiralty, and then she'll tell me a funny story and I forget all about it. She taught me how to play some old card games, gin, pinochle, and hand and foot, and we'll play for hours and it's nice. Relaxing. I look forward to it. I've never had this kind of relationship with a woman. It's… good."

"But no sex," McCoy couldn't help pointing out.

"No," Jim sighed. "No sex."

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know," Jim finally told him after a long pause.

"You don't know?" McCoy asked incredulously. "You're… you! How could you not know?"

"I don't know, Bones," Jim snapped. "Do I want her because she's funny and smart and I can relax around her, or do I want her because she's the mother of my child and I can't sleep with anyone else on this ship so I might as well sleep with her!?"

"Ahhhh," Bones said in realization.

"Yes, ahhhh," Jim mimicked sarcastically. "The only reason we spend time together now is because she's pregnant. She knows and accepts that I want to be a part of their lives. She knows that I want to be a full time dad and so she's giving me the chance. We're getting to know each other. I mean, we have to be at least friends in order for this to work, right?"

McCoy nodded because it seemed like Jim needed some kind of response.

"But let's face it, except for the quirk of fate that got her pregnant, we probably wouldn't be anything more than Captain and ensign. I'd know her name. I'd deal with her as issues arose, but aside from being a member of my crew she wouldn't even be on my radar screen."

"Well, she's not your usual type," McCoy pointed out.

"Exactly!" Jim threw up his hands. "She's not my type. Too short. Too quiet. Too…"

"Plain?" McCoy suggested.

"I didn't say that!" Jim protested.

"But she's not the drop-dead gorgeous, legs to the armpits, slender nymphs you usually go for, though."

"Yeah," Jim agreed. "But she's cute in a way I never thought about – especially when she scrunches up her nose when she's reading. And I've normally gone for blondes or red heads. Brown hair seemed kind of boring, but her hair isn't just brown… it's got all these different shades of brown, and some red and blonde and…"

"Stop now!" McCoy held up a hand. "I do not want to hear you wax poetic about some woman's hair. Next you'll be telling me that her eyes are pools of the deepest sapphire."

Jim snorted. "Not sapphire. Maybe a deep ocean blue, before a storm. When she's mad they can…"

"I said stop!"

"Okay, but you brought up her eyes." Remembering the drink in his hand he drained the glass and then placed it on the table. "I like her," he admitted. "I enjoy spending time with her. We're going to have a baby together in five months. I don't want to mess this up because I have an overactive sex drive. She's never given me any hint that she'd be interested in anything more than friendship from me. What else am I supposed to do?"

"I don't think that is a question I can answer for you, Jim," McCoy finally told him. He had never, in all the years that he and Jim had been friends, heard Jim speak so much about a woman, at least about things that didn't have to do with a woman's appearance or abilities in bed.

This was a new side of Jim. A side that he suspected was even new to Jim himself. For whatever reasons, Jim had always been hesitant with forming an actual relationship with the women he bedded. McCoy thought it had to do with some childhood issues, probably to do with his mom, but Jim was more than willing to only skim along the surface with woman. And now he had one that was actually becoming his friend, a female he was enjoying spending time with that wasn't in a bed. It had to be an odd feeling for the man.

"I'm the last person you should come to for relationship advice," McCoy told him, "but all I can say is go slowly. You're right. This isn't something you want to mess up. It's not just you and Marissa, there's a baby involved. Take it from a guy who misses his daughter like hell; you don't want to be on the mother's bad side."

Jim sat back and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Thanks a lot, Bones. I think I could've figured that out for myself."