so...here's our next chapter for this. this is probably going to be very long considering it goes through and through everything that's going on currently. this begins in "Heart", 3x13.
7
a deeper knotting spiral
Sugar Motta who can't sing a syllable was having a party. Kurt was feeling euphoric at that moment that he had gotten his first Valentine's telegram from the Valentine Gorilla, making his heart swoon and melt into liquid love, as he turned to look at the rest of the crew. The rest of the New Directions were stating who they were taking to Sugar's party. Kurt noticed that Sebastian was completely uninterested and was playing with his order of baked wedges before surrendering them to Finn, whom ate them happily without another word.
"I'm taking an entire sorority house," Puck said, voice so full of pride.
Everyone seemed to just be amazed at him and that caused Sebastian's eyes to widen in horror. "How come when a guy fucks other guys he's a whore but you're okay with a guy fucking an entire sorority?" his voice was thick with anger and rage and Kurt now dropping the Valentine's Day card that had made him happy, staring at Sebastian's face, which was full of contempt for the hypocritical contradictory world around him.
"That is true," Rachael suddenly said. "It's also the same for girls. A guy gets encouraged by others, whilst a girl is branded as a slut for even thinking of sleeping with a tonne of guys, which isn't fair."
Puck just shrugged and then looked over at Sebastian. "Who gave you shit about sleeping with guys?"
"Kurt," Sebastian stated. Mercedes raised an eyebrow at Kurt, whom was just sighing softly.
"I just worry."
"About him?" Rachael said, stating 'him' as if Sebastian was a sudden illness sitting in front of her.
Kurt met Sebastian's cold, hard eyes at once and knew how he was supposed to answer, as he fluidly responded. "About any gay guy that sleeps with a tonne of other gays—especially ones from Scandals, whom are much older than him, haven't even heard of protection, and most of them have tattoos engraved in every visible inch of skin, which I do worry about constantly."
"And girls don't carry STD's?" Sebastian challenged.
"True point…" Kurt's voice quieted down. This would be the end of the STD-don't-fuck-every-guy-you-see discussion they were having for a while now, and Sebastian knew it, thus revelled in his small sec of freedom for that little while. "Who else are you guys taking then?"
Rachael grabbed Finn's hand. Rory said he was taking Sugar to the dance. Artie just stared at him and then competed, saying that he was taking her to the dance. They started fuming over it for a good ten minutes before Puck turned to Sebastian. "And who are you taking? A frat?"
Sebastian's cheeks were colouring as he shook his head. "Some guy named David Karofsky."
Their heads completely snapped up at this as they stared at him. Sebastian coolly stared back, confusingly, and then asked them, "What? Is that a problem?" Sebastian's voice was lucid and clear, and suggested there would be no further discussions that would cause explosions of anger to be thrown around. They had one heated argument enough.
"No, just shocking, dude," Finn explained. "Karofsky used to go here, you know."
Kurt blushed and nodded his head. "Yeah—"
"I know who he is. Hello, how can I be your enemy if I didn't do a background check?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow at them, and the arched eyebrow made him look slightly adorable in Kurt's eyes even if he still looked like he was going to kill them all if they said the wrong words.
Kurt however smiled back. "You suck."
"That's the best you can do, Hummel?" the bell rang a signal for them to leave, but however, afterschool, Kurt had cornered him as he got out of his two periods of Chemistry, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him away from the general public. Kurt was staring up at him with a confused face. "I…what happened yesterday? You scared the shit out of us, Seb. Blaine didn't come home until the next morning, claiming he crashed at a friend's because he was so tired and the ride home was long."
"Went to Scandals," Sebastian said in an inaudible voice.
"That's where you met Dave?"
Sebastian nodded, even if it was a lie. He'd met Dave a few weeks ago, who had sat down with him and talked. They talked about Kurt and Sebastian mentioned how much he hated him. Dave thought his contempt for Kurt was adorable, but Sebastian can see a sudden adoration spring into Dave's eyes, that he would rather have Kurt underneath him withering as they kissed rather than hurt him.
"Don't hurt him," Kurt suddenly begged. "He's never been with a guy before. I swear, Sebastian, you said you never committed. Try this time. This is not a fuck fest. This is a date."
"Why should I listen to you?"
Kurt sighed. "Please, just do," Kurt was near begging again. "He deserves a lot more than just one night of pleasure, Sebastian. Please."
"Fine, but if I do and it doesn't work out, then you're handing me over Blaine for one night," Kurt's eyes were widening now, and he considered thinking about it for a while as he took a deep breath.
"Yes, yes, I will." He finally said, thinking over to the card this morning. "Like you said, I know that Blaine loves me, so even if I 'hand him over to you' for one night, he's not do anything with you." Now, Kurt was grinning widely, as if he'd just played Sebastian by his own game and Sebastian knew he was, playing dirty and twisting words and reusing phrases and playing with people like they were chess pieces.
"Clever."
"I learn from the conceited."
Sebastian genuinely smiled this time, causing Kurt's heart to thud. "Quite so."
Andrea was horrified when she'd been talking to her phone with Jean Smythe. Her stomach was twisting in tight, coiled knots. When Sebastian and Kurt entered into the room, she knew they can see her sombre expression as she pulled the plates of lasagne towards them, causing Kurt to ask her. "What's wrong, Andy?"
Andrea just opened her mouth. "…Regionals. Guess who's apparently a judge because another one dropped out?"
Kurt watched John open up the kettle to pour some tea as Andrea continued. "Jean Smythe is a judge for Regionals as to enhance corporate image by CSR whilst the company tries to fix the crisis at stake. They're practically sponsoring the event," Kurt's eyes widened. They'd never get into Nationals that way. They'd never do so, and Andrea could see Sebastian's face pale even harder than ever before. His knuckles were white as he clutched onto the handle of his coffee cup.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," Sebastian just stated, pushing away his plate of lasagne.
"He's not worth it," Kurt tried to explain to him. Sebastian looked like he was going to have a panic attack from how strongly he'd been holding the handle of his coffee cup that he didn't bring to his lips. Andrea felt a pang of pain for her younger brother, as she heard Lila call for her again. She just hoped that Sebastian would be fine. She can never tell anything with him, but she just hoped—
"I'm gonna go out on a date with Dave Karofsky," Sebastian said, voice now strong and adamant. Andrea didn't want to comment on the fact that Sebastian was actually going to try dating so when she returned; she simply had a comforting smile on her face.
Sebastian had never felt sicker in his life. He just wanted to throw up whatever he'd eaten, which were three cups of coffee, and an apple. In three days his Father will be here and in three days, he will be judged again. In three meagre days. Sebastian hadn't gone to school in some time now, still paralysed by fear. It was March, March twenty-eight. He was looking down at his eggs, playing with them with his fork right now, and two pieces of toasted white bread. He'd had his legs crossed, and Andrea frowned, bringing herself closer to him. Sebastian's eyes were onto the olive oil-made eggs, and he shoved his plate away. "I'm not hungry," his voice was strong as Andrea stared down at Sebastian.
Andrea gently ran her hand through his hair. "Three days and it'll be over. It'll be okay," she tried to soothe it out for him.
"I don't give a damn about what he thinks about me," Sebastian tried to explain but Sebastian was still somewhat shaky and panicky as he looked down at his lap. He pushed the plate away, not even wanting to think about the contents of the plate any longer. The day of the visit, Sebastian wouldn't sit down or eat or drink anything, and it had been around lunch time when Andrea had forcefully shoved down a hazelnut hot chocolate and a slice of buttered raisin bread down her little brother's throat. It wasn't much, but at least it was something to her. The door knocking had been the worst moment, because Andrea could see Sebastian's face fully paling right then, hands nearly shaking, as he pulled himself close to the table, tried not to make a singular expression as he stared at the plate in front of him.
Soon after, John had walked inside but there was another man behind him with a mess of wavy blonde hair and sympathetic-looking warm blue eyes, as he sat down onto the chair. He grabbed onto Sebastian's hands, strongly, and then with a shaky breath, "Sebastian, I need to tell you something. My name is Dr Ryan." The door opened again and Sebastian was paralysed at the sight of his Father and Mother walking in. His Nona was behind, sweet and gentle smile and Sebastian felt seriously sick to the stomach.
"Shall I come back another time?" Ryan asked.
Sebastian was about to open his mouth when Jean cut in. "No, no, what is it?"
"We tested blood and urine samples for Sebastian and I found…" Ryan cocked his head to one side, looking like Sebastian was a dead man before he softly stated, "…a rather alarming decrease in Sebastian's CD4 T-cell count, which happens a lot when…people are infected with human immunodeficiency virus."
"That's fucking HIV," Jean suddenly said, eyes locking with Sebastian.
Ryan seemed to flinch and Sebastian felt some sort of white-hot pain erupt in his empty stomach as Ryan nodded slowly. "Yes, and I want Sebastian to see me at least one or twice a week for drug therapy purposes. There's HAART, so that Sebastian can take a cocktail of three drugs. It's not a solution but it's best until now….Sebastian, what do you think?"
"I think you should leave," Sebastian's voice was soft and Ryan simply nodded his head, before leaving, passing through the rather enraged man. He didn't want to look at Jean, or Adrianne, or his Nona, or Andrea. Soon after, his clients were by the doorway, and they were standing there with rather confused eyes. Jean was breathing out and Sebastian knew that he was going to get it later. He looked at his clients with a sudden smile on his face. "Bruce, Andrew, George—come on in, please, don't be shy."
"Hiya, little Bas' all grown up, spreading HIV now, aren't we?" Bruce's laugh was contagious. "No wonder, he looks like a model. Girlfriend didn't handle you well, sweetie?"
"He's gay," George suddenly stated.
"What? He's gay?" Bruce repeated. "Doesn't look it! Come on, son. Come here." Bruce grabbed him and took him into a strong embrace.
Andrew nodded and then ran his hand through Sebastian's hair. "My ex-wife had HIV. You can still have sex you know, Bas. Just used condoms and shit with your guy."
Jean seemed to stare at his clients agape, with a confused look on his face. Andrea and John were raising their eyebrows at Jean's clients near idolisation of Sebastian. Jean coughed slightly, and Sebastian looked up, knowing that he will get it later, knowing that his Father was strongly angry that he stole the spotlight for being an attention-whore. Sebastian was sinking away as George grabbed onto his wrist. "Come on, kiddo! What do you think? Should we invest in Kinate or what?"
"I'd love to hear what Bas has to say…"
He had all the reasons to say no, all of the reasons in the world. Instead, Sebastian pulled his face into pure and utter seriousness and nodded. "Invest," his voice was slightly strained and Bruce seemed to nod his head, running his hand against Sebastian's hair again.
"You are such a sweet son."
Sebastian nodded and felt tears surfacing to his eyes. "I really want to go sleep now. I'm real tired," Sebastian said, voice strong and adamant as he pushed through the room and then shut it. He didn't leave for a while and he didn't want to. He can hear rounds of celebrations and applause and that Kinate was gonna sign a contract with Afesat in a month after George, Andrew and Bruce get back from their meeting in England, where they were announce that they'd decided to merge with Kinate. Sebastian didn't know where along those lines, but he truly did fall asleep.
