A/N: Thank you so much for all of your kind reviews, I'm so glad you all responded well to chapter 6 =) Boy, that was some escape, wasn't it? Surely our heros deserve a little R'n'R now, eh? Or do they? Let's find out!

- YlvaBorealis


"Sheldon, you can't sleep on the staircase!"

"I can and I will".

"But your apartment's on the next floor. Come on, get up".

"It's an outrage Amy. The elevator has been out of order for ten years. I will no longer allow my landlord to rule my life and decisions. It's time I break out of these chains".

"Stop being such a drama queen, you're just drunk and can't be bothered to climb the last flight of stairs" Amy sighed, feeling too inebriated herself to deal with her irksome boyfriend whose shapely posterior was firmly planted on the landing step, his head leaning against the wall and his eyelids half-shut. For the love of God…

Sheldon opened his eyes, looking up at his girlfriend who was also leaning against the wall, her make-up slightly smudged and her fancy shoes dangling from her right hand. He contemplated her words, licking his lips as he realized there might be something to them.

"I suppose that could be true" he nodded, taking the hand she was offering him, groaning as she helped him up on his feet.

"I'm just so tired!" the lanky physicist complained as they worked their way up, one step at a time. Amy held on to him tight, determined to make it to his apartment.

"I'm tired too Sheldon. And thirsty. And my bladder is about to rupture" she told him, cringing with every step, feeling like she had a balloon filled with water in her pelvis.

They both sighed with relief when the blue door to Sheldon's apartment appeared in front of them. Sheldon began digging in his pocket for the key, supporting himself with one hand against the door case, trying – and failing – to fit the key in the slot.

"Do you want me to help you?" Amy offered as she watched him struggle to open the door.

"Amy please, I think I know how to put a key in the lock…" Sheldon huffed, biting his bottom lip in concentration.

"Sheldon… if you don't let me help you open the door I'm going to kill you and make it look like an accident" Amy growled as she clenched her thighs together, knowing for sure that Sheldon's death wouldn't be the only accident taking place in that hallway should she not make it to a bathroom soon. She pushed him out of the way, snatching the keys from him and managing (admittedly with some difficulty) to fit it into the lock, turning it around and stumbling into the apartment as the door opened with a loud creak. Sheldon was just about to scold her for threatening to harm him but the petite neurobiologist wasn't about to stick around to explain to him that she'd been sarcastic. She practically had to jump through the apartment on one leg in order to maintain control of her bladder, breathing heavily as she tore open the bathroom door and slammed it behind her.

She reached under her dress, fumbling with her spanx, cursing under her breath as she realized they did their job a little too well.

"Come on, come on, come on" she whimpered, desperately tugging at the nylon contraption. She wriggled out of the offensive shapewear, throwing them over her shoulder as she plunked down on the toilet, groaning out loud as she finally relaxed her poor battered pelvic muscles.

"Ooooooh" Amy moaned, shuddering with pleasure as she finally found relief. She closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the cold tiles to enjoy the moment for a while. She stayed in that position for a few minutes after she finished, just because it felt so good and relaxing. Finally she got up, knowing she couldn't stay there all night (she giggled to herself as she pictured Sheldon's face as he found her snoring on the toilet in the morning, her panties pooling by her ankles). She tied her hair back as she proceeded with her nightly ablutions, taking her contacts out and washing the make-up off her face. Knowing for sure that Sheldon would never forgive her if she used his toothbrush she decided to just rinse with mouthwash. Oh that felt so much better. There was something so… cleansing about that minty aftertaste.

Amy put her glasses on, recognizing the woman looking back at her in the mirror for the first time that evening. Granted, she was still wearing the dress and her hair was still curly, but it was definitely her. She felt five pounds lighter just from washing off the maquillage.

As she got out from the bathroom she remembered she had left Sheldon in the doorway. She smiled to herself as she pictured him spread-eagled on the floor, sound asleep after their wild night out on the town. 'We were on fire tonight!' she thought to herself, padding down the hallway on bare feet, having kicked off her flip flops as she hopped to the bathroom. Even though the experiment had failed horribly this had turned out to be one of the most exiting nights of her life.

She noticed the door to Sheldon's bedroom was ajar, the gentle glow from what she presumed was the lamp on his nightstand reflecting on the floor in the darkened hallway. 'Well, at least he made it this far' Amy mused, assuming Sheldon had crashed on his bed fully clothed. That man really did the right thing by refraining from drinking.

Deciding she'd check on him she put her cheek against the door case, peeking in through the narrow opening.

He was naked.

It took all the self-control she had not to gasp out loud. Aside from a pair of white cotton briefs her boyfriend was completely undressed, as he had just wriggled out of his jeans. She noticed how his pajamas were spread out on the bed, and she knew he must be preparing for the night.

'I shouldn't look, I shouldn't look, I shouldn't look' Amy told herself, unable to tear her eyes from her boyfriend's lanky form. This was wrong, she knew it. Although Sheldon had never exactly been shy he was self-conscious when it came to physical intimacy, and seeing him like this…. Well, it definitely counted as intimate.

He was entirely oblivious of the fact that he was being watched. Amy's heart was throbbing furiously in her chest, and for a second she was struck with the irrational fear that he would be able to hear it. It was so loud, how could he not? 'Get a grip Fowler' Amy reprehended herself, swallowing as she kept watching him, mesmerized with the sight.

She didn't have to worry about her throbbing heart for very long. As Sheldon hooked his thumbs in the waistband on his briefs, sliding them down his narrow hips and the entire length of his legs, it stopped beating entirely.

The whole scene hadn't played out for more than thirty seconds but to Amy it seemed like hours. Everything was moving in slow-motion, and she could hear her blood rush through her veins, an intense heat spreading between her legs.

He was so beautiful.

Not like the men she saw in magazines and on TV. He was tall and lean, with a flat but not well-defined stomach, his skin pale and his body hair dark. It covered his legs almost up to his buttocks, one dark patch covering his chest and another painting a trail from his belly button down to his…

'Oh my!' Amy gasped internally, ignoring the rush of shame that shot through her, her gaze firmly glued to her boyfriend's nether regions. She'd never seen a naked man before, not one who was alive and breathing at least. And to see him, this love of hers, the object of her desire…

All good things come to an end though and this was no exception. All too soon, he stepped into his pajama pants, shielding himself from view. Amy looked away then, the reality of the moment hitting her like a ton of bricks. Somehow, seeing him in his night wear made it much more clear to her that she'd been spying on him, and she felt her cheeks flush red with embarrassment.

'I'm beginning to understand why gentlemen had valets to help them dress in the old days' Sheldon thought to himself as he clumsily buttoned his pajama shirt, his temples throbbing slightly with what he didn't know was the beginning of a massive headache, brought on by too much alcohol in too short a span of time. Toothbrush. Water. Sleep. Oh, this night had been much more exhausting than he could have ever imagined, and Sheldon Cooper had the most vivid imagination this side of the Mississippi. Or any side of the Mississippi. Either way it had left him drunk, dehydrated, shamed, and… excited. This really hadn't been like anything he'd ever done before. And Amy had been breathtaking! Where had she learned that move? How was it possible for anyone to look that beautiful and be so brave at the same time? Ah, but it was as he had always suspected: he had excellent taste.

As he made his way to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge he heard muffled voices coming from the living room. The TV was on.

"Could you get me a bottle too?" Amy asked him from where she lay spread out on the couch, resting her head in her palm as she watched an old re-run of 'Friends', the flickering images reflecting in her glasses. She looked like herself again, something that felt oddly pleasing. Their night out had felt like a fantasy: heady, glimmering, perfumed, filled with noise and lights, the memory of which was quickly beginning to fade. Strange, as he never forgot anything. Seeing her like this in her glasses and white undershirt, covered with the soft afghan his mother had given to him the day he moved to California, made him feel as if that night at the club had been nothing but a figure of his imagination.

"Of course" Sheldon nodded, taking out two bottles from the fridge, tiptoeing over to the couch. She sat up, gratefully accepting the drink as he held it out to her, taking deep swigs as he sat down in his spot next to her. He opened his own bottle, closing his eyes as the cold liquid hit his palate.

"I thought you had gone to bed" Amy let out, not taking her eyes off the TV.

"I was thirsty. And to be honest I still feel slightly inebriated and every time I close my eyes I feel like the entire room is spinning" Sheldon confessed, taking another deep swig from his bottle of water.

"I'm still drunk too" Amy chuckled, her throaty laugh bringing a smile to his face.

"I was going to suggest that we go over our results, seeing as this was a scientific experiment, but I fear we may not have enough material for an empirical study. We might not be able to publish any findings" Sheldon continued, leaning back against the couch.

Amy nodded in agreement.

"While I did take notes I only interviewed one subject, which is not nearly enough for any eventual findings to hold any kind of scientific validity. I fear this entire ordeal was for nothing" she sighed, knowing for sure there was no way Sheldon would ever go out on any adventures with her ever again.

Sheldon turned to her, a baffled expression on his face.

"'For nothing?' I was present during the live demonstration of the Vulcan Nerve Pinch, as performed by the woman I call my significant other. It was glorious Amy, glorious! I shall have to compose a battle hymn to honor your bravery. Would it be alright with you if the lyrics are in Klingon? That would really emphasize the Qapla' of our victory…" Sheldon babbled, already planning to get Amy a Bat'leth for her next birthday.

Amy watched him amusedly, feeling her heart swell as he showered her with compliments.

"I'll let you write it in Klingon on one condition" she replied, smiling at him as he cocked his head to the side.

"Oh? What condition?"

"That you play it to me over and over, every time I ask you, as many times as I like" she begged, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

Sheldon thought this over, finding it a fair request.

"Very well. Who am I to deny a hero her rightful accolades?" he said, secretly excited about the fact that, much as Clark Kent, Amy disguised her true identity with a pair of glasses and a mild-mannered personality.

"That wouldn't be right, would it?" Amy yawned, snuggling up against him and pulling up her legs onto the couch. He leaned back, wrapping his arms around her much as he had done several years prior when she had asked him to cuddle with her. She burrowed her head into his chest, covering them both with the afghan. His feet were still on the floor but that was alright he thought. He'd go to bed soon anyway.

As he put his hand on her hip underneath that afghan he felt himself freeze as it found naked flesh where he had expected clothing.

"Amy…" Sheldon began, not daring to move, "are you naked below the waist?"

Amy giggled at his nervousness, thinking there was something so odd about this whole situation. They were two adults in a committed relationship and yet her boyfriend tensed up just from putting his hand on her waist.

"No, I'm wearing underwear" she assured him, patting his torso soothingly.

"Hmm. I suppose that does count as clothes" Sheldon mumbled, not sure how he felt about her being snuggled up against him wearing practically nothing. Tentatively he let his hand slide down lower, feeling goose bumps pop up on her previously smooth skin. He had no idea where this bold move came from – perhaps it was the lingering effects of the alcohol, perhaps it was her close proximity, perhaps it was the realization that she was so much better than anyone he'd ever met… Either way, his hand seemed to have a life of its own.

At the moment, it was softly patting her right buttock.

"I like this part of you" Sheldon mumbled, as if he weren't aware he had spoken those words out loud.

"That feels nice" Amy murmured in return, feeling herself slowly drift away. She wanted to stay awake but her eyelids were so heavy.

"Good" Sheldon whispered, his head drooping and his eyes fluttering shut as he fell asleep, still grasping Amy Farrah Fowler's posterior.


A/N2: What, no disaster? Oh my! Are things starting to look up for Sheldon and Amy? Until my next update: have a great night!