6 months later..
Tris Pov
I can't believe it's only been six months. Feels like an eternity, a forever. A good forever.
It's been more than a year since Tobias left me. I don't see him anymore. Some say he has transferred to a bigger company. Some say he went back because of financial problems. Even though I want to care less, the curiosity keeps building up and fear consumes me.
A part of me still wants him. And I that part of me still believes he loves me and that he'll come back. It's difficult to push that away, not easy to forget your first true love, folks.
But Finnick has taught me to live again.
It's like I know Finnick as if he's part of me, he is actually.
So.. I guess I should tell Finnick now.
I love Finnick. I love him.
But I don't know how I should tell him. I don't even know if I'm sure. Wait no actually I am. I'm very sure.
I kept feeling this same tingling feeling long before though but now I think I should tell him. What if I don't get a chance later.
It's long since I've felt this way, I don't want this feeling to go now, not ever.
I'm so gonna keep this and I'll do whatever it takes to stay with Finnick. I won't lose him. I can't lose him.
It's too late for backing out, love is not a game. Not for me. If something like that happens to me again I don't know how I will survive. Like literally.
Finnick's PoV
I have to tell her before it's too late. She has the right to know why. I won't do it to her like Tobias did. I'm too far now, too far to let go. Losing her would be a torture, it will be worse than pain itself.
But if I tell her I might not see her ever again even though that would be the right thing, the tougher way.
Who said love would be easy anyway? But I wish it was now. I don't want the problems, I don't want fun. I just want her. I want to hear her laugh, bury her sorrows, kiss her, hold her till my last breath.
I want to marry her and have kids that look just like her. I just wish.
But I have to tell her. I can't keep her in the dark. I need to tell her, for both of us.
The words that I write don't come from me, they're coming from my brain and my hand is translating them into words. The tears dissolve slowly into the paper as my hand keeps scribbling them.
My heart is numb, I'm trying to push it out and somehow I'm restraining myself from tearing the page into shreds because all written on it is a lie.
Except the last 2 lines.
After I am finished writing I seal the letter into an envelope and put it in my front pocket.
Tris POV.
I am finally going to tell him! The excitement is building up on me and so are the nerves. I know he loves me and I can't wait to tell him I do too!
I will finally feel safe, loved. And the nightmares would go.
I rush to my car and hold the steering in my hands. Taking a deep breath I start the engine and take off for his house.
The large grin doesn't leave my face and my cheeks are hurting now. But I'm just so happy.
I am living my dream.
Finnick's POV.
I drop my keys near the manhole in my clumsy attempt to open the car. My hands are shaking, I don't know if I can do this.
I can't hurt her.
I quickly catch my keys before they could fall further down and unlock my car. Taking a deep breath I start the engine and make my way to Tris' place.
I'm living my nightmare.
Tris POV.
My smile doesn't go away, not that I want to. Tears of utter happiness start welling up in my eyes as I think, I am going to tell him
Finnick POV.
The fear clenches my heart and my throat feels parched, a single tear of sorrow rolls down as I think, I have to tell her
Tris POV.
That I love him.
Finnick POV.
That I have to go.
—End of flashback—
Tobias pov
"Hey! Over here!" My friend, Xavier calls me over from the woods. I turn my face around in the direction from where the voice came.
"Excuse me for a second guys. Till then throw some extra punches." I dismiss my initiates and head over to him, where ever he is.
"Where are you Xavier. You know I don't like games." I shout as I duck behind trees to find him. He's always been this cheery and boyish. I remember being absolutely depressed when I reached here, 2 weeks ago but he found me interesting, he said and I quote "I like mysterious and dark people".
I had laughed at that, I had not in months but somehow he made me. It wasn't because of what he said but the way he said it, like he was trying to impress me. He's been my only friend I could trust after I came here.
I miss everyone back home. Home.
Can I call this my home? I doubt that. I miss my friends, But I miss her the most.
I've been missing her since the day I let her go, I hate the fact she hates me. Still loving her, even when she was in someone's else's arms made me sick. I wanted to rip his head off but I didn't want to hurt her.
I wanted her happy and safe.
I had to make sure she was safe before this had happened, before I came here.
"BOO" I hear someone yell from behind me and as an instinct I whip my head around and before realising who it is, I punch the person in the nose.
"What the f—" he shouts and I crack up when I realise it was Xavier.
"You should know better to not to scare me like this, dude" I say in between laughs while he crouches down holding his nose in his hand.
"Not funny, man" he wheezes but it only makes me laugh harder. I clutch my stomach as my laugh slows while he's still crouching down.
When I finally calm down I apologise and then I ask him why he called me here.
He blinks his eye, shakes his head, checks his nose for blood, curses at me, and I roll my eyes in return.
"Did you seriously call me here for this shit?" I ask in my heavy instructor voice, the one I started using after a few days of coming here. It only took a week for me to pass the initiation, it was beyond rules though. But I was a fast learner and they needed some recruits for the position, so they decided to make me the instructor. Other "normal" people, no one's normal here but I like to think otherwise, usually take a month or two to reach my position but whatever.
After everything had happened, I had to focus on something to forget about the pain. The longing, the desire.
The jealousy.
So I turned into this emotionless person with a mask. No one here knows about me, about where I am from, except the authorities of course.
Even though this camp is the reason everything happened, I had to focus on it. So that I could keep everyone else I love safe.
"No" he says rather firmly, "as a mater of fact, I didn't. I was just trying to have fun. Anyways, I called you here because the authorities wanted me to tell you that some one, they didn't reveal the name, you know is coming here within a day. They asked you to be prepared and to avoid any fights."
My mind goes blank, his voice becomes muffled.
There's someone coming here. Someone I know. Someone from my home.
Someone from back in the world I'm running from, someone to remind me. . .of me.
But the worst, someone who knows about me. No. But how!? This isn't possible. I don't remember someone like me there, I would have noticed, right?
It's freaking me out, I'm scared. I'm scared but I shouldn't be, I'm Four not Tobias, Tobias died long ago with Marcus dying as my father, unless of course I met Tris. But that was only for her I became different. Wait that's not the point.
But that ignites something in me.
Hope.
What if it's . . .
authors note: yep the flashback is finally over and I also gave you something from the camp in Tobias POV! Extra bonus for that maybe?
Sorry about the crappy chapter tho, i didn't know how to write it hehe.
Please review and make my day?
Lots of love and wishes
~S
