"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."~ Maya Angelou
"Do you think we should wake her?"
"No, she is exhausted, let her sleep."
"It's Beca… She will sleep until the apocalypse if we let her."
Beca could hear the hushed whispers coming from the doorway of the room she was currently "sleeping" in. To be honest, she had been awake for quite a while after passing out in the middle of her piggy back ride, Aubrey and Chloe had taken her to Chloe's room and put her to bed. That was nearly sixteen hours ago. She slept through most of it, until about three hours earlier when she jolted awake from a nightmare. One she was trying to forget, and would definitely not be bringing up to Chloe and Aubrey. She tried to go back to sleep, but found she couldn't, so she instead decided to just lay in the dark and let her mind wonder.
They had gone through a lot of trouble trying to hang a dark purple blanket over the window with thumb tacks to keep the sun out, while trying not to wake her knowing Beca couldn't sleep with light shining through, and Chloe's white curtains, weren't going to let her do that.
She couldn't faintly remember waking up when she heard Chloe hiss in pain after poking herself with a tack, but quickly fell back asleep. They had done a good job and Beca had no idea what time it was, the room was completely black. Though she had been awake for a while, she didn't want to leave the bed. Or the room for that matter. She didn't want them to worry over her either. She sighed and slowly turned and could see the silhouettes of them in the doorway.
"Hi." She said softly.
She heard a sharp intake of breath before the sound of skin meeting skin and Chloe gasped. "OW!"
Beca sat up quickly, not being able to see, the sound startled her.
"Now look, you woke her up!" Aubrey scolded Chloe who was rubbing her arm where Aubrey had just slapped her.
"Geez, Bree, put your claws away." Chloe laughed lightly.
Aubrey shook her head and walked into the room. "Hey, Becs." She said not turning the light on, but slowly climbing onto the bed.
Chloe was close behind her. "How are you feeling?" She asked.
Her ribs were throbbing from sitting up so fast, but she ignored it. "I'm okay." She shrugged and lay back slowly.
"What time is it?" She asked.
"Around Eight AM." Aubrey said.
Beca sighed again. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sleep so much." She said.
Chloe being Chloe scooted up to her and curled into her side. "It's okay, Bec. You were tired. Did you sleep well?"
Beca nodded once. "Yeah, I guess." She said. "Did you guys sleep?"
They nodded. "Yep, we woke up about an hour ago." Aubrey said. "I made coffee, would like a cup?"
Beca smiled, coffee sounded wonderful. "I would love some." She said.
"I'll get you a cup." She said and sat up.
"No, wait, can I come out?" She asked.
Aubrey looked confused. "Come out?"
Beca nodded, "Out of the room? Can I come with you to the kitchen?" She asked.
She couldn't see it through the darkness, but Aubreys face fell slightly. "Of course. Chloe will you get her crutches?" She asked.
"It's okay, I will be her crutch." She said and got off of the bed.
"No." Beca said suddenly. "No that's okay, I'll use my crutches." She said.
Chloe was slightly disappointed, but agreed and walked over to the light.
"I'll go pour the coffee." Aubrey said and left.
"Becs, might want to cover your eyes, I need to turn the light on." Chloe warned.
Beca instantly threw an arm over her eyes. "Okay, go for it." She said and could hear the click of the light going on. She slowly removed her arm and blinked against the light.
After a second she was adjusted and looked up to see Chloe standing by the bed with an amused smile and a pair of crutches in her hands.
"You ready cripple?" She asked.
Beca shook her head with a smile. "Don't call me that." She said. "Or when I'm able to walk on my own again, I will tickle you or something." She laughed as she grabbed the crutches and hoisted herself up.
After a short look of concern, making sure she didn't hurt anything lifting herself, Chloe laughed.
"Tickle me? Really Bec? That is so scary, and so not badass of you." She teased.
"I am a badass. And when I can show you, I will." She joked and followed Chloe out of the room.
Chloe wore a smile, loving that Beca seemed to back to her old sarcastic self.
They made it into the kitchen where Aubrey had set out two cups of coffee and was pouring her own while something cooked on the stove.
"Do I smell bacon?" Beca asked excitedly.
"What is it with you and Bacon?" Chloe laughed.
Beca looked at her with wide eyes as she rather ungracefully fell into a chair at the table.
Aubrey spun around at the noise, but seeing she was okay, she returned to her cooking and listened to them discuss bacon, she also took notice of how relaxed Beca seemed to be, and the small smile that she wore.
"What is with you and cuddling?" She asked.
Chloe gasped. "Cuddling is amazing. It's warm, and loving and just makes everything better."
Beca smiled as Chloe brought the coffee over to her. "Exactly. Bacon to me is like cuddling to you." She explained.
Chloe snickered and began adding cream to Becas cup. Beca watched her add exactly two teaspoons of cream before stirring it and handing it over to her.
She smiled lightly as she took it. "Thanks, Chlo." She said softly. Chloe could tell she was deep in thought over something.
"You okay?" She asked as she added her own preferred amount of sugar and cream to her coffee while Aubrey began putting food onto plates. She glanced over to see that Beca was looking down into her coffee rather intently.
"Have you made me coffee before?" She asked.
Chloe looked up in thought. "Hm." She said as Aubrey walked over and placed a plate in front of her and Beca.
"You know, I don't believe I have." She said. "Thanks Bree."
"Thank you, Bree." Beca said as Aubrey walked away to fetch her own plate and coffee before joining them at the table.
Beca looked down to see three stripes of bacon, eggs toast and some grapes.
"I didn't think so. How did you know how I take it?" she asked. Aubrey looked from Beca to Chloe with a small smile.
"Oh, I uh- I just. I guess I have seen you make it for yourself so many times, that I just knew." She said.
"Most people just assume I like my coffee Black." She said, and picked up her fork.
Chloe looked at Aubrey who winked at her. Beca wasn't aware of the little things that they had paid attention to when it came to the small DJ. Like how she took her coffee, or how her favorite fruit is grapes, and she will only eat an even number of them. She smiled at the pile of six grapes on her plate.
"Detective Snow contacted us this morning to let us know, that they couldn't locate Jesse yesterday. But, don't worry, the trebles said when he was released he went home to his parents, and they sent the detectives there. We should hear back from them sometime today, after they have found him, also they have two police officers parked down the road in an undercover car, keeping an eye on the apartment." She said. Beca has gone still as she listened, not looking up as Aubrey spoke. She took a deep breath and Chloe reached over and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze. She relaxed and smiled at them slightly.
"Okay, thank you for telling me." She said, before returning to her breakfast.
They ate in silence for a moment before Aubrey spoke again. "So, how is everything feeling today?" she asked.
Beca took a sip of her coffee before answering. "My ribs hurt a little, but the stomach pain is gone, and my ankle is fine as long as I don't put too much pressure on it."
"Well, after you eat, we will put ice on your ribs-"
"-Nooooo," Beca whined cutting her off. Ice is cold!"
Aubrey looked at her as if she were about to scold a child. "And water is wet. Way to state the obvious there." She said.
Chloe who always loved when the two would get into some kind of disagreement, and knowing how much Beca hated cold she knew she would fight it. She leaned back in her chair with her coffee and watched, also enjoying hearing Beca whine. It didn't happen often and she found it to be adorable.
"Can't I just take some medicine for it or something?"
"You can do that too, but your recovery plan specifically states to use ice. Ten minutes on and ten minutes off."
"Ten minutes?!" Beca exclaimed.
"Yes. And you are going to do it." Aubrey said, leaving no more room to argue as she went on.
"I thought while I am keeping watch over you, Chloe could go to your dorm and grab your clothes and things." She said.
"Bree don't you have to go to work?" Beca asked. "And Chloe what about your job?"
Aubrey smiled. "We both had some vacation time, and took it. You are not getting rid of us for at least two weeks." She said.
"You don't have to watch over me." Beca sighed, "You guys should go to work-"
Aubrey sighed loudly cutting her off. "Beca, you had an accident. You were in the hospital and now you need help recovering, which is exactly what we are doing. We don't want to work, and we don't need to right now. What we need is to make sure you are taken care of, and that is what we are going to do, so please don't waste your time questioning it or fighting it." She said, her voice rising as she went on.
Chloe's smile faded once she heard the seriousness in Aubrey's voice and Beca looked down into her lap. All signs of defiance and happiness gone.
"Sorry." She said softly. Her shoulders slumped and held her hands against her stomach.
Chloe looked at her in concern before glaring at Aubrey who was also looking at Beca.
"Are you okay?" Chloe asked.
Beca nodded. "I didn't mean to make you mad. Or seem ungrateful. I'm sorry." She said her voice slightly cracking, still refusing to look up.
It didn't seem like any regular apology. She seemed legitimately upset that she argued with Aubrey and made her mad.
"It's okay, Becs. We just want to help you." Aubrey said.
Beca nodded and reached for her crutches. Chloe instantly stood up and grabbed them handing them too her.
"Where are you going?" She asked once Beca had lifted herself up.
"Can I go to the living room? I thought it would be easier to use the ice, if I lay down on the couch?" She asked.
"Oh, yes of course." Chloe said, "Do you need any help?"
"No, I've got it. " She said and made her way out of the kitchen.
Chloe turned to Aubrey. "Did you see how quickly her mood changed?" She asked picking up her and Becas breakfast plates.
Aubrey nodded. "I wasn't mad at her," She said quickly hoping Chloe knew she hadn't meant to come off as angry.
Chloe nodded. "I know you weren't, but she didn't know that." She said turning on the faucet and letting the water heat up and fill the sink.
Aubrey was quiet, and Chloe knew she was beating herself up over being so stern with Beca.
"Bree, it's okay." She said wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist.
"No it isn't. When you guys came out she was laughing and joking, and everything was fine. Then I had to open my big mouth and I think I scared her."
"You didn't scare her Bree-"
"-Yes." Aubrey cut her off. "Yes I did. Didn't you see her? She wouldn't even look at me."
Chloe looked down, in thought. "I did it yesterday too. When I yelled at the detectives I felt her move away from me."
Aubrey nodded. "We need to be careful how we say things, and we need to make sure we don't get angry. Do you think she is suffering from, I don't know… Like PTSD or something?" She asked.
Chloe shook her head. "I don't know, maybe. I wouldn't doubt she was constantly being yelled at by Jesse when no one was around, he was probably always mad at her. Maybe us getting upset and raising our voices was some kind of trigger?"
Aubrey nodded. "I have a list of councilors she can see."
"Why does she have to see a councilor? She has us." Chloe stated as she let go of Aubrey's waist and began to clean the dishes.
"We can't diagnose her, Chlo." She said handing Chloe the pans from the stove.
"Who says she needs to be diagnosed?" Chloe asked suddenly feeling angry at Aubrey for wanting to hand Beca off to someone else to talk to.
"No one, Chloe." She bit back, getting angry at Chloe's tone. "But, she was raped for Christ sake. Who knows how much Jesse actually did that she won't tell us about. I don't believe he only ever hit her that one night. She is traumatized, and on top of it, she lost a baby." She said. "We can't expect her to just be back to normal. She is broken." She said.
Chloe brushed away a few tears that formed in her eyes. Aubrey instantly wrapped her in a tight hug. "We can and will do everything in our power to help her, but beyond us, she will need professional help Chlo."
Chloe nodded. "I wish this never happened." She said. "I wish she never kissed Jesse that night."
Aubrey nodded. "I know. Me too."
"When are we going to tell her about us?" Chloe asked. Aubrey smiled sadly.
"When she is better." She said. "I don't want to freak her out, she has a lot she has to deal with right now, I don't think it's the right time to drop this on her." She said.
Chloe nodded. "I'll just finish the dishes and go to her dorm." She said and leaned up and placed a soft kiss on Aubrey's lips. She meant for it to be short and sweet, but Aubrey wrapped her hand around the back of her neck and deepened the kiss. Chloe instantly granted her access and relished in the feeling of kissing Aubrey like this.
After a moment, Aubrey pulled away. "I missed kissing you like that the past couple of days." She explained.
"I'm not complaining." She smiled and turned back to the sink while Aubrey began filling a bag of ice to take to Beca.
**Meanwhile**
Beca had made herself comfortable on the sofa in the living room, and convinced herself that Aubrey hadn't meant to yell at her. She realized she forgot her coffee. Not wanting to bother Aubrey and Chloe she decided she would just use one crutch and go get it herself. She had just made it to the entry way of the kitchen when she heard them talking in hushed voices. She didn't meant to eavesdrop, but she couldn't tear herself away either.
"When are we going to tell her about us?" Chloe asked softly.
"When she is better." Aubrey said. "I don't want to freak her out, she has a lot she has to deal with right now, I don't think it's the right time to drop this on her." She said.
Beca could feel her face getting hot. They were together, and they never told her. She suspected it at the hospital, but wasn't sure if it was just the medication messing with her mind.
All this time they would flirt with her, and both would do things that made her think they were into her. She brushed it off at first. She had Jesse and they were just overly friendly, it didn't mean anything more to them. But, over the years she had developed feelings for both of them. That wasn't right though, that could never happen. They weren't really into her she was misreading it.
She couldn't help the pain that shot through her chest. Why had they always treated her as more than a friend? Why would they hold her hands, and leave lingering kisses on her cheeks. Insist on cuddling with her and always telling her how beautiful she was. They had each other, why would they do this to her?
As she listened, she could hear them exchange a kiss and the pain was back.
Were they just messing with her this whole time? Seeing how long they could string her along, or see which one of them she would fall for first? Was this some kind of competition?
It wouldn't be the first time someone had done this. Make her feel as if she meant something to them, when in reality they were just using her for god knows what.
She could feel the tears start to fall and the familiar weight in her chest. At that moment, not only could she not understand why they would do this, she thought they were her friends. But she couldn't help but feel as if she deserved it. How could she be so stupid to think that not only one but two of the most amazing girls she had ever met, would like her in more than a platonic way?
She felt hate. For them, and for herself. She let it happen, she let them in and she deserved what they were doing. Even if she couldn't understand why they were doing it. She turned quickly and made her way back to the sofa, whipping her tears quickly and hoping her face wasn't flushed.
She could hear Aubrey preparing a bag of ice in the kitchen.
Just as everyone else would claim to see when her walls would fly up. She could feel it. Immediately building them back up as fast as she could. She wouldn't let them hurt her anymore. They had each other, they were perfect together, and though she still didn't know what she was to them, what they wanted from her. They couldn't get any closer. She wouldn't them.
By the time Aubrey walked in, with a smile in place and a bag of ice in her hand, the Beca she saw just minutes before was gone. Her face was blank, and her cheeks flushed, her eyes seemed empty. As if in the few moments she was by herself, something happened and she just removed herself from reality.
Her smile faded as Beca stared passed her. Something changed. Something didn't feel right as she looked at the small girl on the sofa.
Physically she was right there, five feet away. But, Aubrey knew immediately when she saw her face.
Beca was gone.
A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the late update! I was impatient and wanted this posted, so I could move on to chapter 8 so I did not send this to my Beta, so I apologize for any mistakes. This was a little lighter of a chapter, and sort of filler. Major drama is about to ensue with Beca finding out about Bree and Chlo, and something's with Jesse as well. Its gonna be rough. Not to proud of this chapter, I hope it doesn't suck! Please Review and let me know what you think? Thanks for being patient and understanding about the spider thing as well. Had another incident today, so I just don't want to live on this planet anymore lol! Well anyway let me know your thoughts on CH. 7!
