italics=flashback


"Is he that bad?" I heard Arkamaru talking to Axel in the other room. I couldn't hear Axel's voice. He was talking so low, like he usually do when he's concern about something; mainly me. I sat down on Axel's bed, my eyes scanning his room. His walls were black with a few posters. His bed was the only thing with a red accent, pillow and spread.

'I hate you! I hate you so much!'

Shaking my head, trying to get the memory out of my head, I started to clean Axel's room. It was just mainly clothes all over his floor. I needed to clean something; It helps me relieve some stress. Also, his room needed to be clean. As I grabbed his clothes, the same ol' quote kept appearing in my mind, along with his angry and saddens face.

'You played with me. You fucking played with my emotions and hopes, Roxas.'

I did no such thing! You keep making my life a living hell! You always get father to beat me for no reason. You take all the attention from mother just for yourself. Sora, you are the reason I'm unloved! I did nothing to you!

"Roxas?" I turned around to see Axel at his doorway. "My gawd, calm down. You don't need to clean my room." He slightly smiled before walking towards me, his hands brushing up against mines as he tried to get the clothes out of my hand. I looked down, seeing my hand shivering and clutching tightly to the ward of clothes. My whole body felt cold. "I don't understand, Axel." I stated. As soon as he took the clothes away, I hugged myself, still shivering from the lost of his warmth as well as from the aftermatch from today. "He told me he hated me a couple of times before. Why now? Why is it affecting me now?"

"Roxas, relax." I didn't notice Axel rubbing my cheek in a comforting way. "It's going to be fine."

"He hates me, Axel!" I yelled. "I should've just listened to you. I messed everything up now."

"Roxas! He doesn't hate you." Axel stated. "I was watching the fight. You weren't as aggressive as you usually are." He then smirked that sexy smirk. "You didn't tell me that you didn't want to fight."

"… I didn't. But I couldn't get myself to say no when he asked for some reason."

"Anyway, Roxy. Remember, I was watching the fight, too, ya know." Axel continued. "When you locked Sora down, he seemed calm that you said his name-"

"I said his name?" I asked stupidly. Axel playfully plucked my head. "Well, duh! And you felt at peace when you his name, didn't you. I know that you know that I know you did." I slightly chuckled at his sentence. "Well, Roxy?"

"… I did." I grinned. "And I was so happy… just by calling out his name… I felt… connected."

"You poor thing." Our eyes were drawn to the owner of the unknown voice, which belongs to an almost mature looking Axel. His hair was straight and cut to a little past his shoulder, but just as red. His eyes were a deep shade of brown. "You look terrible."

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Arkamaru." I stated, a little embarrassed. Axel got up and moved to his closet. "Well, we both know that you're probably going to stay here today. I'll get the sleeping bag-"

"No." I stated, taking him by surprise. " I know that I usually stay here when I fight Sora… but, I want to apologize to Sora for whatever the reason may be. I want to tell my brother face up that I actually am sorry."

"Way to be the older brother, Roxas!" Arkamaru wooted. Axel's emerald eyes looked at me with concern. "It's not Sora I'm worried about. It's your parents." He moved my hair to expose my almost gone bruise. "I'm afraid what they might do to you."

"You sure I shouldn't just called the police-"

"No!" I yelled at Axel's older brother. "Sora and I… we have no other family members to our knowledge. If you called them… we have nowhere else to go. I know that you are standing on thin ice as it is with you and Axel." I grinned. "Don't worry. I'll survive."

"You better. You're like part of the family, Roxy-"

"Don't call me that." I pouted at Arkamaru. He rolled his eyes. "At least stay for dinner, Roxas."

"… Sure. What harm could it do?" Why do I have a feeling something bad of ether really confusing is going to happen to me?"


Sometimes, mainly during the summer and weekends, I stay with Axel and his brother. They are the only ones that I got close enough to call love. After dinner, I folded up my Organization jacket and stuffed it in my bag. Besides Sora, Arkamaru is the only person whom Axel and I know who knows that we're in an Organization; though, he doesn't know what's it about.

"You can still change your mind." Axel walked in the room and hugged me from behind, arms around my collarbone. He feels so warm. "If anything happens, I might come back." I stated. "So prepare everything for me."

"That might not happen." Axel smirked. "What if they act nice and don't bother you for it."

"Don't do that reverse psychology shit with me." I hit him, making him laugh. The redhead sat down on his bed. "Just promise me that I'll at least see you tomorrow."

"Of course, Axel." I picked up my backpack. We stared at each other in a comforting, but somewhat awkward silence.

"Oh, just kiss each other already."

"Get out of my room, Arkamaru!" Axel threw a fireball at Arkamaru, which didn't hit him because he closed the door. Ether way, if it did hit him, I'm sure Axel only put enough heat in it to feel like a gust of hot air blowing in your face. I bit my lip, blushing. Arkamaru always played with us like that. At least, I think he's playing.

"Roxas…" Axel caught my attention. "What if we were… you know… beneficial?"

"Y-You mean friends with benefits?" I raised my eyebrow, trying not to show my blush. Axel laid down. "I might be fun. You know, to experiment once in a while. But, I'm just saying. It was actually Arkamaru's idea and-"

"Sure."

"Look, I know that- wait, what?"

"I said sure." I grinned. "I mean… it's just for comforting, right?"

"Okay then." Axel seemed a little bit happier that before, which made me question why? I thought he was straight. I resist the urge to ask as he got up. "It's just between you and me, okay?" He walked over to me, looking around as if he was trying to see if the coast was clear. He bent down and quickly kissed me on the cheek, making my heart soar. "Our secret. Now when you leave out, do it quickly and don't answer any of Arkamaru's questions."

"Ugh… okay."

"Good." Axel quickly pushed me out of his room, which irritated me. I hate being pushed. Arkamaru was right in my face, giving me the usual silent treatment he does when he wants an answer. Before I could cave in, I took Axel's advice and jetted out of the house.


I sat down off the railing of a bridge, waiting for the train to come. It's easier to ride on the roof that in it is to wait for it at the station. Plus, it's more fun. I grinned, thinking about that whole 'friends with benefit' agreement with Axel. Who knows? Maybe if we continue to do it constantly, he'll fall in love with me. Securing my backpack on me, I jumped as the train came by, landing perfectly.

"Roxas!" Demyx and Zexion jumped right after me, landing perfectly as well. Demyx hugged me tightly. "Roxy!"

"Don't call me that." My eyes twitched. "And you have five seconds. One-" Demyx instantly got off of me. "How are you feeling, Roxas." Zexion asked. "Everyone in the Organization knows about your break down."

"I'm fine. I just need to make amends with Sora."

"… You're making up with him? Dude, he said that he-" Zexion covered Demyx's mouth, and then smiled. Well, smirked. It's hard to get this guy to smile. "You're making the first step?"

"… You could say that." I shrugged. "… I don't want to go through that again."

"It's nice that you're being the big brother, Roxas." Demyx stated. "Both of you need a brother right now. I wish I had a brother." I chuckled. "I don't know about both. But I know I do." Demyx then stood up. "Well, lets race before we stop at the station."

"You're on!" I stated. "First one to the front of the train wins." Zexion rolled his eyes at our stupidity and immaturity. "… Go." As he called the start, Demyx and I took off running. We both knew that bridges and walkways were coming up. As the first one came, I held on to the rails of the train's roof and hung from the side. Demyx, with his long legs, jumped over the bridge. As the train went under the tunnel, my body was only centimeter from scarping the wall, and I laughed. I love train racing. Doing stunts like this and being so close to death is a trilling experience… if you know what you're doing. When the train was out, I jumped back up with a flip, Demyx landing gracefully and we started running again. A few more walkways and bridges later, we arrived at the station. Demyx had won, but that because he had longer legs. Lucky Bastard.

Zexion jumped off and handed Demyx his backpack, seeing me sulking and Demyx prancing around. "Demyx won, I taken." He stated. "Hey. Tomorrow's Saturday. If things don't go well with your parents, you could come over my house."

"That's suicide." I stated, slightly laughing. "After seeing what I did to Sora, I doubt that Riku will allow me in the house."

"It's my house, too, you know." Zexion smirked. "Well, this is were we depart."

"Yeah. See ya, Roxy!" I winced at the high pitch voice known as Demyx using that defiled nickname. I brushed it off and waved to them before walking twenty minutes to my house. I took a deep breath before opening the door.


I didn't hear a flame burning on the stove, so that meant mother is out shopping. I gulped, knowing that it's going to be much worse now that she wasn't around. I heard a coin flip; my breathing seems to cease. "Roxas." A deep voice stated. "Drop your things and come over here." Obeying, I slowly walked over to the living room, standing in front of a chair in the living room. Father was sitting in front of me, his deep brown eyes glaring at my blue ones. I kept my eyes on him and the coin. He used it to show me how angry he is. The angrier he gets, the higher it will flip until he completely stops and unleashes his rage. "…Where's-"

"Did I tell you to speak?" He spoke with venom. I kept my composer. "No, sir." I stated calmly. The coin went higher up. I heard the ceiling banging, so I know that Sora's here. Judging by the frequency, I guess he's dancing to his Ipod. Which is exactly what father wants. "Roxas, Roxas, Roxas." He sighed a deep disappointed and irritated sigh. "You just had to be disrespectful, don't cha? Have you done your chores?"

"Completed them yesterday." The coin flipped higher.

"Homework?"

"Completed"

Flipped higher.

"Time?"

"Seven fifty three. I came home before the curfew."

Flipped higher.

"Where were you?"

"Over at Axel's"

"Axel's?"

"Yes sir."

Flipped lower.

"He's that lunatic pyromaniac, isn't he? A runt just like you-"

"He's not a runt!" I hissed. How dare he talk about him like that!

Flipped higher. His eyes went harsh. "Your progress report, bitch!"

"Right here sir." As I held him the folded up paper from my pocket that I've gotten from school this morning, I braced myself for the worst. Father eyed it for a while, and the coin finally stopped. "Would you like to explain yourself?"

"… I need to speak with Sora." That triggered something as he got up. "You want to speak to your precious little brother, bitch?"

"… Yes… yes I do." My nerves were starting to get the best of me as Father circled around me. I heard the door upstairs opening, but Father failed to notice. "And what makes you think that you have the privileged to do, hm?" He roughly grabbed my face. "Answer me, brat!"

"… Aren't I his brother?" I stated, my breathing intensifying. "Don't I get to see Sora?"

"Ha Ha. Don't make me laugh!" He stepped back and threw a left hook to my face. I fell on the floor, but instantly got up. If I stood down, he would've kicked me harder. "Your precious brother was number twelve in his class." He harshly grabbed my head and slammed my face up against the wall. "Tell me. Why is it that you got number one?"

"B-Because…"

"No because!" He jabbed me in the ribs. I cringed, not allowing him to see me suffer. "You are a mistake, you got that? You make me sick, bitch." He threw me across the room. "You shouldn't be better than your brother. He should be better than you!" Father crumbled up the progress report and dropped it in front of him. "Pick it up." I gulped, hesitant. "I said pick it up, you disrespectful runt!" I had no choose but to comply, or else it's going to be worst if he walk over towards me. I walked over, slowly taking my time to pick it up until he kneeled me in the groan, hard. I flopped down, thinking that I probably couldn't get up for a while. "Get up!" He kicked me hard in the stomach. When I didn't comply, he repeated his request and kicked me harder near my heart. The third one was my ribs. He didn't try for a fourth. Instead, He sat on top of me, his hand grabbing my neck and repeating left hooks to my face. Eventually, I screamed in pain, and that seemed to tick him off. He took out a pocketknife and cut my forehead. I didn't scream to that, as much as I wanted to, because I know he would've just do it again in the same spot. "That's better. If you can't take a couple of punches, you're weaker that I thought." He grinned evilly. He got up and kicked me again. "Now, repeat after me. I am nothing but a mistake."

"…"

"Say it!" He took his knife and jabbed me in the arms. The pain made me scream. He took it out, preparing for another strike, before I gave and yelled out, "I am nothing but a mistake!"

"Say it again."

"I…I am nothing but a mistake."

"You hesitated!" I knew he was going to strike again.

"STOP!" A voice made my father's eyes filled with fear and mines with a mixture of fear and joy. Sora ran over and tackled my father to the ground, using his Kingdom Key to pin him down. "I'm so sorry, Roxas." Sora instantly picked up my stuff and me and ran us to my bedroom. He instantly locked the door, flinching at the harshness of Father's banging. Wow, he was freed quickly.

I dug under my and got out my red shadow plush. I held it close and I sat down in a corner. "Axel… please make it stop." I whispered to it, clutching on it for dear life. "I'm sorry Roxas." I looked at Sora, tears in his eyes. "But I didn't say anything, I sware!" He cried. Him not saying anything always point Father to me. "Sora… I'm sorry." That broke our barriers down. Sora jumped down and hugged me. Out of the sixteen years that I remember, this was my first hug from him. And it felt so… right. I patted his back and let him cried on my shoulders. I liked the warmth he was providing me. I felt… like a brother.


It took a while for father to stop banging on the door. One o'clock and Sora was still latched on to me, asleep. There was a tap on my window and it open. "Yo, Roxy."

"Axel?"

"The one and only. Got it memorized?" He jumped in with such grace; no wonder his title has dancing in it. He brought a first aid kit with him. His eyes noticing the red-plushy and smiled. "You still have it."

"Well, yeah." I smiled. "Ever since you brought it for me six years ago. That was the peak of our friendship." Axel's hand grabbed my face and was admitting the same warmth Sora was giving me. "Hm." He inspected me. "No loose tooth. No black eye. A few bruises and cuts. That cut on your forehead can be quickly patch up. But damn, that had to hurt. How's your arm?"

"Since when did you act like a doctor?"

"Since now." He chuckled. "And, I got you to smile."

"Shut up."

"No." Axel grabbed and icepack and put it on the grip marks glowing red on my neck. "I accomplish something I haven't seen in a long time."

"Well, be happy. Because this is the last time that you're-"

"Roxas… Riku…" Our attention was diverted to my brother. I smiled and ruffled through his hair. He looked so peaceful.

"Did you apologize to him?"

"Yeah." I stated, picking him up and placing him on my bed. "But tonight was pretty hectic. Maybe we could settle everything calmly tomorrow-"

Axel shifted uncomfortably, making me stop. "… We can't." He stated.

"Why not?"

"You're the last member, so you didn't get the message yet."

"What message, Axel?" At that moment, my cell phone beeped. "That message." Axel hissed as I looked at the text message, my eyes slightly widen. "As Organization members, we have to do it." I mumbled. "But… I just made amends with Sora."

"Arkamaru isn't going to like this ether." Axel sighed. I read the text over. "We're paired up with Demyx and Zexion. Hopefully, we can get this over with quickly." I grabbed my jacket. I handed my brother my plush. Take good care of him, I thought. And, I'm sorry. "Let's go." I jumped out of the window with Axel, landing gracefully in the ground and running deep into the shadows.