Winter didn't feel much of anything as they left the school, roughly an hour after the last raider had been killed. Jacob had been shot in the knee by a hidden raider as they did the final sweep of the building, and he was being an absolute fuck-spill about it. He wailed like a baby the moment the bullet made contact, writhing around and making life difficult for Amata, who was stuck trying to treat him. He refused to get on his horse, and he refused to be helped onto someone else's. No, Jacob needed a wagon. Amata was being far too nice to him than Winter would have been, all smiles and caring words, acting like his mother as he cried and wailed. Winter thought she was being a little bitch about it when she got shot a few weeks ago, but at least she had gotten up and moved around. As they left the school with two deputies carrying a sobbing Jacob, Winter went to scratch her eye and flinched.

Someone else's blood was all over her, and as it dried, all it did was make her itch.

"Daniels," Lucas ordered, "Go home and take a shower."

"What about you?" Winter asked Amata as they dumped Jacob onto the ground to wait for his wagon.

"I'll be fine, I've gotta take care of the baby," she muttered to her over the sound of his crying.

"I can stay if you want."

"No," she said firmly, "You look like you bathed in blood, it isn't hygienic."

"Okay," she mounted the horse and got settled into the saddle, "Once I get cleaned up, where do you want me, Lucas?"

"Home, for the day. Process everything that happened. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Alright."

Winter didn't want the Common Room, she wanted a bed and a bath all to herself, not having to compete with strangers. As she rode through the gates of Megaton, she regretted being such a prick to Moriarty, but she sure as shit wasn't about to apologise, or pay for a room and Nova's company. People stared, and some people even gasped and turned away. There was another hotel near the bomb, and it would have to do… no… it wouldn't… even if she scrubbed herself for hours, just lying on one of the disgusting beds would be misery. She needed a house... she should talk to Lucas about buying a house.

Walking past the marketplace, she spotted Gob lurking around one of the produce stalls, trying to decide on an orange to have for his lunch break. He seemed to sense that someone was staring at him, then quickly abandoned his oranges and approached her.

"Pst, kid!" Gob whispered.

"What?"

"Jesus, you look horrific."

"Thanks, Gob."

"You need a bath. Here, meet me at the back of the bar, I can sneak you in."

"Moriarty will-"

"He ain't here, but if one of his regulars or one of the guards sees you, they'll either blab for a free drink or throw you out."

Winter walked around the back and quickly slipped inside when Gob opened the door and led her into the office.

"Here," he whispered, opening a cabinet door which led to a ladder, "Moriarty creeps along the crawlspace to get into rooms sometimes."

"… Well, that's fucking sinister."

"You're telling me. He mostly steals shit from rich fellas."

"I'm sure the women they sleep with are thrilled about taking the blame."

"That's what the security guys are for. I'll let Nova know you're here."

Winter crept along the crawl space and, true to his word, found a small latch with "5" written on it. Opening it revealed "Nova's" room or at least the room she used with Winter, and it was empty. She dropped down and smirked up at the open frame on the ceiling, "I always wondered what that little latch was for."

Winter looked at her trembling hands and started to rub away the dried blood. Her stomach was lurching, but there was nothing left to heave up. The door swung open, and Winter looked up, clutching her hands together so they would ease the shaking. It was Nova, with a terror in her eyes that made Winter jump to her feet.

"What's wr-" Winter gasped. Nova grabbed Winter by her neck and crashed their lips together.

"I heard about what happened," Nova said, "People are saying five people died."

"Six, probably, but they were raiders," Winter slurred, her tongue going numb in her mouth. She could taste the blood in her mouth again, smell it in the air.

Nova looked down and gently gripped Winter's shaky hands, "Come on… You need a bath."

"No… no… shit. I shouldn't be here; I should be with Amata."

"You can't help anybody right now, baby," Nova said, "You'll feel better when you're in a bath. No- actually… a shower would be better for you."

As she followed Nova into the bathroom, her boots suddenly felt like concrete slabs, and the usual warmth she felt around Nova was smothered by a shroud of dread. The screams of the man she killed kept replaying in her head, even more so when the tap screamed as Nova turned it on.

Nova started to run the shower while Winter worked on scrubbing her hands clean in the sink. There was always a little splotch of red under a nail of between a finger, but she managed to get most of it off. She felt warm arms wrap around her, "Shower's ready, baby."

She nodded, shakily getting undressed. Buttons were impossible.

"No, no," Nova hummed, turning her around so she faced her, "Just relax…"

"I can't," Winter shuddered. Nova's fingers moved expertly, unbuttoning her shirt and jacket, throwing the bloody garments onto the floor. Winter lowered herself into the bathtub, Nova sitting down on the tiles beside her. Nova folded her arms over the porcelain tub and rested her chin against it. She gently stroked Winter's hand, "This happens to everybody, okay? Don't think any less of yourself; it'll feel better soon."

"I killed a guy."

"Who was going to kill you," Nova said firmly, "You're stronger than them, than all of them. You kept us safe, you kept me safe, and you can only be proud of yourself for that."

Winter stayed quiet and looked down at the water flowing down the drain, with little rivers of red rushing down alongside it.

"I'm proud of you," Nova said, snaking an arm around Winter and holding her close, "You did something that a lot of people wouldn't have had the courage to do."

Thankfully, most of the blood had sprayed onto Winter's clothing, leaving her skin, aside from her hands, mostly untouched. Still, Nova made sure she was completely clean before turning the shower off and directing Winter back onto the bed. Winter settled while Nova rummaged through the drawers.

"Here, it'll make you feel better," Nova smiled, bringing the jet to her lips. The spray flooded her mouth and made her cough.

"I know," Nova soothed as her fingers stroked her damp black hair, "It takes a while to get used to it."

"Tastes like shit."

Nova laughed and laid down beside her, "You'll be okay, Winter."

"I know," she mumbled as the Jet set in.

"Don't touch me when I'm out," Winter murmured as she closed her eyes, "Just let me ride this out."

"Okay," Nova said gently, "Let me cuddle you at least."

/

In the morning, Winter could sense something was wrong. Nova was tightly wound and very nervous, constantly rubbing her hands together and pacing as Winter got dressed. Nova declined Winter's advances and only told her to get dressed. Winter was feeling a bit better from what happened yesterday, but she still was anxious as she sat down to lace up her boots.

"Winter," Nova began.

"Yeah?"

Nova dragged her palms along the thighs of her shorts, "I'm supposed to charge you now."

"What? I thought this was just a- you told me no charge."

"I know… I know… but things change."

"I'm not paying," she stammered, rising to her feet, "I- hell how the fuck can you say that after all I've been through today? I'm supposed to pay for you to fuck me? You should be paying me!"

"I -wow… Don't take it personally," Nova said, a little stunned at her outburst.

"How else am I supposed to take it?"

"Like an adult."

'I thought that's what you liked about me. That I'm young and stupid, that I don't know any better."

"Winter, just… if Moriarty finds out and I didn't get compensated…"

"I don't have any money on me, Nova. All my cash is going toward a handgun."

"Don't make this hard for me, Winter."

"Ah you're breaking my fucking heart," Winter groaned.

"What about the ring?" she said, gesturing to Susie's ring on her thumb.

"No!" she answered, jerking her hand back, even though Nova didn't make a grab for it, "Not the ring."

"Why not? It's pretty."

"It was hers," she answered.

"Well… what happened to moving on?"

"I'm not giving you her ring!"

"Nova!" someone knocked on the door, "You all good?"

"I'm fine!" she yelled over her shoulder before looking at Winter, "I need something worth at least ten caps."

Winter fucking hated how these people used currency. A cap was a bottle cap, and it made it a huge pain in the ass to pay for anything. They were scratchy and unpleasant to hold, and they made a chiming noise when you walked around with a sack of them, practically begging for somebody to come and take it from you.

"Tomorrow, I'll have the money for you tomorrow."

"Winter…"

"Why didn't you tell me this before we did it?"

"I thought you knew."

"Bullshit. Nova, I don't have any money."

"Your boots then. They'll sell for ten caps."

Winter was stunned, she had to collect herself for a moment before she spoke, "I don't have a spare pair of boots, I barely have two shirts."

"Winter…"

"Stop saying my fucking name!" she shouted. She marched for the door, but Nova was blocking it.

"If I don't give him the money, he will beat me," Nova said through her teeth, "I need the money, Winter."

For a brief, fleeting moment, Winter wanted to grab her and hurl her across the room, but she couldn't. Instead, she took off the boots and tossed them against the wall, "Go fetch."

"I'm sorry."

"Go fuck yourself," Winter scowled, "I never want to see you again."

"We can still be-" Winter could only assume Nova had offered friendship, but her words were drowned out by Winter slamming the door behind her.

"Hey!" Moriarty shouted as she walked down the stairs, "I thought you were banned?"

"I paid," she hissed.

She burst out of the bar with tears stinging her eyes, but she refused to cry. Her guts were writhing inside her, and the humiliation of it kept playing in her head, over and over and over again as she walked down to the common room.

You should be paying me, what the fuck was that? She scolded herself, You fucking dick. You're a fucking dick, but she's worse. She took pity on you, she never really liked you. She used you. She used you, and you let her use you.

Amata wasn't at her bunk. Good. Winter didn't want to have to deal with anybody. She crawled into her bed and yanked the curtain across it to give her some privacy. She wouldn't have minded if she disappeared. People were laughing and joking around her, and Winter hated every single one of them. Don't hate them, she told herself, The world doesn't need to grind to a halt for you.

That was true. Amata was working, Jacob was shot, Lucas was god knows where, and Winter was sitting in a bunk choking back tears like a baby. She'd just killed a man, less than a day ago, and she was sitting here like a dumped teenager. Considering all of that, Winter decided to be useful, but first, she needed to calm down. She found her money pouch hidden in the locked drawer in her bunk and drew out her cash, then went down to the market and bought a ten cap bottle of whiskey. She finished a quarter of it, enough to get a buzz, dropped the bottle off to her bunk, and headed for the clinic in better spirits.

/

The silence in the clinic was like having a weight pressed on Winter's shoulders. Amata sat on the couch in the corner of the waiting room, her head leaning back against the wall in an attempt to get some sleep.

"How is he?" she asked.

Amata's head slumped forward, smiling at her, "Hey… He'll be alright. Church is working on him, still, but he'll be fine. Where did you go?"

Winter looked away.

"Don't feel bad," Amata said through a yawn, "You did all you could out there anyways. It wouldn't be good to keep you there; you were starting to fall apart."

"Why weren't you falling apart?"

"I still had to look after Jacob. Once he was stabilised and fucked up on morphine Church told me to go home at… I don't know… Two? Three in the morning? I locked myself in the staff room and cried my eyes out for… what time is it?"

"Six."

"Three hours."

"We should go home," Winter offered.

Amata shook her head, "I might still be needed."

"Okay," Winter sighed. She walked over to her and sat on the couch beside her, "You did well yesterday."

"Thank you," she whispered, "Just let me…"

"Hmm?" Winter hummed, turning to Amata just in time to see her head flop onto her shoulder.

Winter smiled and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. A volunteer came in and handed Winter a blanket, which she covered Amata with, and Winter moved her, so Amata's head rested against her right thigh. She brushed her fingers across the scar from her own bullet wound, trying to remember the pain of it. It was only a ghost of a pain. Winter leant her head back and rested it against the wall, too alert for sleep.

Church came walking out cleaning his hands with a rag. He grunted with surprise at seeing Winter, "Need something, kid?"

"Just staying close to Amata," Winter said.

"I told her to go home hours ago."

Winter could only shrug.

"Get her home," he ordered.

"We don't have a home," Amata murmured sleepily, "We live in a fart factory of sin."

Winter laughed, despite the pain from losing Nova, Amata could always make her laugh.

"Yeah well it's the best thing you've got, and you're taking up space," Church said, "Go home. We'll talk about your… we'll talk tomorrow."

"M'kay…"

"What's he talking about?" Winter asked.

"Nothing," she sat up, "Your lap is comfy."

"Thank you."

"Why aren't you swapping cooties with Nova?"

"She charged me."

"What?" she gasped, "That bitch!"

"I know, right!"

"So… what? You said no, right?"

"I did, but she told me I owed her money after we were done."

"What the fuck? Why?" Amata frowned as they left the clinic.

"Moriarty was twisting the screws on her, apparently."

"So what're you going to do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well did you pay her?"

"Did you notice I'm not wearing shoes?"

"What the fuck?! She took your boots!"

"Yeah, she wouldn't let me leave without something."

"God damn, I didn't realise all your money was gone."

"I just didn't have cash on me."

"What? I know for a fact that you have a hundred."

"I have ninety, and the money's going toward a revolver. Besides, I don't carry one hundred caps on me."

"So what? You're going to be a gunslinger in socks with holes in them?"

"It's romantic," Winter joked.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah… I was putting too much stock in Nova."

"She was your rebound," Amata shrugged, "You weren't in love, were you?"

"With Nova? No," she frowned when they passed the common room, "Where are we going?"

"The market," Amata explained, "I'm buying you some boots."

"Aww, 'Mata you don't have to do that," she hesitated.

"No, because you're right. You need a good handgun. God knows I need a protector."

"Ah don't bring that shit up again."

"I'm only teasing you," she giggled and stopped at the apparel vendor, "Alright. You like those?"

Winter glanced up at the pair of plain brown laced boots, "Yeah. But it's only twenty caps; I'll pay you back when we get home."

"No, you've had a bad day enough as it is," Amata nodded at the vendor. Winter took the boots and tried them on while Amata paid.

"They fit?" Amata asked as Winter took a few testing steps.

"Yeah," she nodded, "Thank you.".

Amata peered at her for a moment before walking forward and hugging her tightly. She broke away and pecked her on the cheek, then spun around and started walking for the gunsmith, "Come on. Let's see about getting you a revolver."

After an hour Winter was admiring her new revolver as they walked. It was simple, made by some guys called Smith and Wesson in 1899, if the gunsmith was telling the truth. She got an odd look for asking if the gun was four hundred years old, and was very crassly told that the gun was actually around five years old, but the model had been made for four hundred years. Winter didn't give a fuck. So long as it fired and didn't blow apart in her hands, she was fine with it.

"I have whiskey in my bed," Winter remembered.

"Fuck yes!" Amata grinned, "I'm almost done with the stuff you bought me."

"That's… disturbingly quick."

"Ah, you fuck," Amata laughed, "Don't suddenly forget about all the times you got me drunk."

"I didn't have to do any kind of convincing," Winter protested with glee, "You're just as much of a drunk as I was."

"Was? What's this 'was' shit?" Amata walked into the Common Room, to Winter's bunk, and rummaged for the whiskey. She found it, took a few swigs, then handed the bottle to her.

"Alright. So, what's the plan?" Amata asked.

"Plans the same, we go to Galaxy News to find my Dad."

"Okay so, I'm still convinced that Moriarty was bullshitting with you about not being born in the Vault."

"Why would he lie?"

"To fuck with you," she answered simply.

"Maybe," she shrugged, "But what if it's true?"

Amata bent down to untie her laces, "I don't want to get shot in the head trying to find something that might be true."

Winter exhaled and leant back on the heels of her new boots.

"But you want to go," Amata said, mostly to herself, "So I'm going to."

"Hey, I'm not forcing you to go. I'm not even asking you."

"No, I'm going," she said, "I'm a better rider than you, and I'm better with directions. You're good with a gun. With our knowledge combined, we can equal out to one semi-competent adult."

"Well, what were you talking about with Church, huh?" she walked up to her bunk, "Get off my bed."

"No."

"Amata, off."

"Just sit there," she gestured to the empty spot of the bed.

"Off my bed, you have bits of Jacob on you."

"No, I don't," she answered, holding up her pristine hands and twisting around so Winter could see she didn't carry blood on her clothing.

Winter sat down begrudgingly and looked at her revolver again.

"Anyway," Amata settled to sitting cross-legged on Winter's bunk, "When we get back from Galaxy News, I'm going to join the clinic to train as a doctor."

"Really?!" Winter grinned, "That's great!"

"Yeah?" she looked up at her hopefully, "Maybe… maybe when we get back, and I start earning good money, we can buy a house?"

"We?" Winter smiled, "You wouldn't mind living with me?"

"Hell, this place still freaks me out," Amata admitted, "I still flinch when I look up at the sky. It'd be better if we had a place of our own, so we don't have to line up to use the bathroom."

"Yeah," she nodded, "I'm gonna talk to Lucas about joining the Sherriff's department."

"We're going to make a life out here," Amata said, mostly to herself, "What're you going to do? Right now?"

"I'm going to get drunk, and I'm gonna try and sleep the Nova pain off."

Amata only gave her a wary look, "Okay… please be careful. I'm gonna go and get some sleep."

She hopped up to her bunk. It didn't take long before Winter could hear her snoring quietly, hell, she certainly had earned the rest.

Winter fished into her pocket to check for anything and was surprised to grip the Jet inhaler. She must have pocketed it while they were arguing. She took the inhaler out and fiddled with it for a moment. Nova said not to use it so much, but what the fuck did she know? Jet didn't feel amazing, it just made her feel nice, and that was all she needed. She brought the mouthpiece to her lips and slowly inhaled.

/

The days that followed were chaotic. Megaton was on lockdown after the raiders took the school, with everybody anticipating another raid the place was tense, to say the least. Lucas, however, was convinced that it was just a lone incident. Lucas took Amata and Winter out a few times to scout the area leading up to Galaxy News. It was easy enough to follow. The roads were busy with travellers and merchants, almost all of them either on horseback or on a wagon pulled by a Brahmin or a horse. Brahmins still freaked Winter out. She'd never seen a one-headed cow in person, but she saw them in books and movies for the first nineteen years of her life, and this was hideous. This thing had a rich orange pelt destroyed with scars, cuts, lesions and other malformations, with two sullen, droopy heads dangling from one body, trudging slowly forward. For Winter, so far this outside world was perfectly personified by a Brahmin.

Amata thought that Winter needed to lighten the fuck up. She hadn't seen Nova in days and still had a pissed off look about it. Amata had simply written it off as Winter's pride being wounded and granted; her mood had improved over the last few days… a little. For today's run, two days before they actually left for Megaton, Winter was better and more attentive. She rode at Lucas' side, writing notes, checking her direction, making sure she could read the compass Lucas gave her properly. She made notes on the map about water sources, emergency shelters, backup routes, and absolute "no-go" zones, where Lucas warned that wild animals would hunt and rip them to shreds. The route would take them north, up a long highway to a settlement named Arefu, a town built on a highway overpass. They would spend the night there, leave the horses in a stable, then cross the river to the mouth of Downtown. They wouldn't need a horse when they were in Downtown, the horses would have trouble climbing over rubble, and they wouldn't be able to navigate through the metro.

Amata thought she would be able to handle a metro just fine, same as Winter. They grew up in a tight, confined space, and Winter spent the last three years crawling around in between floors, having to keep track of where she was going. A large tunnel that had clear markings on where to go would be a cake walk.

But it was by no means a safe journey. Two days before they left, they arrived at the sheriff's office to a surprise. Lucas was in the corner of the room, working a radio and getting a report on the current state of the metro.

"You guys have radios?" Winter asked, sitting down at his desk and opening the map she had stowed away in her backpack.

"We do, the Brotherhood of Steel has a much better radio system, they just aren't keen on sharing it," he muttered, with some resentment.

"Not a fan?" Amata asked.

"In some ways, but they mean well," he sighed, "Alright… If you both insist on going to Galaxy News, you're going to follow my instructions to the fucking letter."

"I still don't understand why we can't just walk through," Winter muttered. She sat at the opposite end of the chair, arms folded around the top of the frame and resting her chin against them. After a night's sleep, the Jet she had taken the night before had left her head fuzzy, and it was difficult for her to concentrate. She wasn't hungover; she just felt numb.

"Because, if we walk through Downtown, we'll have price tags around our necks within an hour," Amata answered impatiently.

"Listen to Amata," Lucas said, "You're going to…"

Winter's eyes drifted from Lucas to the blinking radio. Maybe she could contact the Vault using it? Susie had drifted from her mind lately. Preparing for the trip alongside spending her nights high had made it difficult to find time to remember her.

"You've got it?"

"Yep," Winter muttered. It didn't matter what Lucas said now; he'd hammered the same information over and over again for days straight. She knew it, Lucas was just wasting his breath by repeating himself.

"When we get back, we're going to have a talk about your Jet use," Amata said as they ate dinner at their bunk, "You've been getting high for three days straight."

"I'm not high right now, and I'm not getting high during the trip," she said, "I'm not going to be a liability, not while we're travelling."

"Uh huh. What did Lucas say at the meeting today?"

Winter's uncomfortable silence was her answer.

"Please, please take this seriously," Amata complained, "We've killed a handful of people, but we aren't badasses."

"I am taking it seriously; I was just…"

"Hungover from the Jet, god damn it," she stabbed her steak knife into her meat before casting the plate aside. She turned to Winter and grabbed her firmly, but not painfully, by the forearms, "Please, Winter. Please. I have so much to worry about already. If I find you dead on this bed from an overdose, I might actually lose my fucking mind. Please, try and stay off it. You're better than this. You got dumped by Nova, you aren't going to see Susie again, and you have no idea where you've come from, but don't lull yourself into a false sense of peace by inhaling that shit every single night. Let's go find your Dad, and when we get home, we're going to make something out of us."

For a moment, Winter was stunned and could only look into Amata's dampening brown eyes. She was angry, sad, nervous and scared all at once… and Winter was just making it worse. The dangers of the trip that lay ahead of them weren't scaring Winter, but she didn't think about how Amata was thinking about it. Amata was scared, Winter could see it now, and all Winter was doing was making it worse.

You fucking prick, be better, she muttered to herself as she took Amata's hand from one of her forearms, and held it in hers. She straightened herself so her back was straight and she cleared her throat to sound as confident as possible.

"Alright. Let's do it."