shots in the dark
VII: Jinora
yesterday we were just children
"The thing's broken," Jinora says miserably, "we can't watch the movie."
"That's okay," Kai reassures her. "I don't remember the movie being that good anyway, and I was six. Imagine how bad it'd be now."
Jinora snorts. "Childhood nostalgia can't fix everything." She looks around the empty, dark theatre from inside the tiny box with the projector, the lights above them flickering.
"Let's get out of here, then," Kai shoulders his backpack and leads the way out of the building, checking to make sure the coast is clear before stepping out into the street. Jinora doesn't double check to make sure he's right. She holds her knife aloft as they creep down the streets, always alert. They make it back to their tiny apartment in one piece, when Kai speaks again.
"So, what was your favourite movie growing up?" he asks, giving her a grin.
"Aladdin," she answers without hesitation. "Yours?"
"Same," Kai says. "Money was always tight growing up, so I saw myself as Aladdin in some way I guess. When I was five I begged my mom for a pet monkey and asked Santa for one for Christmas. I wasn't too pleased with Santa after that."
Jinora laughs. "Looks like I was the Jasmine to your Aladdin then."
"I guess so," he says softly, and stares at her, eyes shining. Jinora flushes and Kai clears his throat, the moment evaporating in a flash. "Favourite colour?"
"Green." His eyes are green, she notices, and if her brain shifts and decides her favourite shade of green is the same as his eyes, well, he doesn't need to know that. "Game? I always liked tag."
"Manhunt. Looks like it was a good way to practice for right now," he attempts a feeble joke. " Kindergarten was fun, I guess."
"I loved my kindergarten teacher, and school in general. Although there was this one boy who'd always tug on my pigtails and get on my nerves, but we were friends anyway." She studies him, his bright eyes and floppy hair and a glimpse of a young boy at six with those same features flashes through her mind. "Where'd you grow up?"
"Yangchen Avenue," he says. "I remember there was a park nearby, I loved playing in the sandbox there, with one of my friends... I forget her name, though... Something with a 'J.'"
Jinora inhales sharply. "Kai... I think I was that girl. I grew up just down the street from you."
Kai stares at her, mouth open in shock, but then comprehension spreads across the features that are suddenly familiar. "I used to pull on your pigtails. But you'd still play blocks with me. And you were always the best a manhunt, because you were really fast."
Jinora gapes at him, her lips twitching upwards more memories filling her head. "And - and at snack time you'd always give me your extra cookie, and we'd build sandcastles at the playground. And we'd take turns pushing each other on the swings."
Kai laughs in disbelief, running a hand through his hair. "That's crazy, that's nuts, but..."
Inside, Jinora can't help but agree with him, but there's no denying she's staring at the same boy, now a man, fifteen years later. She'd heard of traumatic events causing memories to be suppressed. The outbreak had happened soon afterwards. They had initially grown up on opposite sides of the Sanctuary, her family in the utmost protection, Kai, an orphan, shuffled to one of the lower rings, their memories of each other fading.
She looks up at him, their gazes locking. She can see light and recognition sparking in his eyes, his lips turning upwards slightly. She can see pieces of the boy she once knew underneath the broken man, the hunched shoulders and aching body once spry and nimble, the bags under his eyes nonexistent, the smile on his face a permanent fixture. Emboldened by nostalgia and fondness for a boy she didn't know she was missing, Jinora reaches over and cups one side of his face with her hand, tracing a thumb over his cheek, her heart jammed in her throat.
"Kai?" she breathes.
He leans into her touch and her heart skips a beat. "Hey Jin."
She laughs shakily, barely a breath and withdraws her hand, ignoring the way her fingers are tingling. She wonders if Kai's feeling the same way, like it's simultaneously harder and easier to breathe, like she's staring at a ghost she didn't know was haunting her, now back from the dead. Here now to help her kill the undead.
Fifteen years apart, in which everything's changed, and nothing's really changed at all. Maybe that's way she trusted him in the beginning when she had so little reason to. Maybe that's why she went back for him when it would have been easier to leave.
"A month," she says suddenly, and she's not sure why.
Kai gives her a quizzical look. "What?"
"We've been traveling together for a month," she elaborates, and taps her still miraculously working watch.
Kai breaks into a grin. "I'm sorta looking forward to another month with you Jin."
"Oh shut up," she tries to sound annoyed, tries to hide how flustered she feels, heat rising to her cheeks. She checks the time for something to do. "We should get dinner started."
"Do you still want my extra cookie?" he teases and she slaps him lightly on the shoulder, rolling her eyes, but she's smiling. He gives her his extra cookie anyway.
She wakes up screaming, gasping for breath in the darkness until her eyes find the light of the campfire, until she finds Kai's face and remembers where she is. It's not much better than her nightmare.
"Jin," Kai rushes over to her, looking concerned but unsure of how to help her, his arms lying limp at his sides. "Jin, it's okay, tell me what happened-"
Jinora wipes her eyes, which does nothing to stem the flow of hot tears rolling down her cheeks and curls into him. Instinctively his arms wrap around her, pressing her into his chest and she can hear his heartbeat. "I saw my family," she chokes out, sniffling. "Dead. And I was next." Her words are muffled against his chest. Kai tightens his grip around her. She knows he understands her nightmare, has seen it come to reality.
He pushes her hair off her sweaty forehead with a tenderness Jinora didn't know he had. "It's alright Jin," he promises as she pulls away, his arms still loosely around her. "You're gonna be fine..." He swallows hard and she can see his Adam's apple bob, see him steel himself for something. Her crying fades away. His arms are warm and strong, and they seem to anchor her in a reality not much better than her nightmare, but still better, even if it's only because she's still alive, and maybe just a tiny bit because he's still alive too.
"I lost my friend," he confesses, his shoulders shaking and it takes her by surprise. "Because I was stupid. It was our fifth mission, a new recruit wasn't keeping up. I went against protocol and turned back for him. My friend, Skoochy, didn't let me do it alone. We got the kid out but Skoochy paid the price."
A sob spills out him and he buries his face in her neck. She combs her fingers through his hair, reassuringly, as he trembles and lets it out. She wonders how long he's been holding it in - if he's told ever anyone about the friend he had and lost. About the friend he thought he lost and has found again.
She remembers a boy that always got his knees scraped up, but it was nothing a band aid couldn't fix. Now she knows a man that might never be mended. But she's determined to try.
Neither say a word in the morning. They've reached a silent understanding that doesn't need words. When you're young, the monsters lurk in your closet and demons wait under your bed. During the day, they're rendered to nothing more than figments of your imagination.
But now, as they set out from the apartment the next day, intent on heading towards the next city over, the monsters and demons come out to play in the worst game imaginable.
A/N: Just put up a new fic centred on this universe, called "I'm not bulletproof when it comes to you", so I'd highly appreciate it if you guys checked it out. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, and if you have a question, feel free to ask over at zombiekainora on tumblr! :)
