((jeezus krist bananas, what's the matter with me? It's like off-and-on with me, isn't it? I ought to be more consistent.
Shadow: yes you should. What's with the salad?
Sigh. I'm on some sort of fucking diet. What they send you in the mail is primarily composed of sawdust, and the only other things you're allowed to eat are "lean and green." SALADS ARE WHAT FOOD EATS!!! GIMME MY GODDAMN RARE STEAK NOW!!!
Sonic: don't whine, fatty.
:;goes all gunslinger, whipping out her pistols and blowing off Sonic's head. Immedialtely, several large lobsters appear out of nowhere and devour the carcass.:;
Sh: … ohh-kay, someone's been into the Stephen King again…
A: …. Roland rocks my socks. Hard. :;pets The Drawing of the Three:;
butsolikeanyway, I decided- since most of you took my hint about reading up on IAC and LAL- that I would update the fluffy one first. This is being written in my review/edit/glance through the document. I aspire to be like the Stevie, so looking over things before posting is a must. Especially since random republicans come out of the woodwork to bitch and complain at me and try to force their conformist writing style on me. GO SUCK YOUR HERMAPHRODYTE SISTER, BITCH!! This is how I write. Please, by all means, if you have a problem with it, stop reading. Go away. Leave us all alone.
;: pulls random character out of a bag;: Rouge, disclaimer. Get to it.
Rouge: she doesn't own anything. She's ownless. And fat.
A: ;:shoots Rouge through her oversized chest;: I AM NOT THAT FAT!! And by now, you know what to expect in the following pages. Fluffy frivolity. Joy.
Chapter 7: Where You Are
Sonic sighed as he filled his social security number in for the umpteenth time, flipping through job applications and setting resumes aside to fax.
"Hey, Tails..."
The orange head appeared –upon being summoned- around the side of the kitchen door.
"Aren't I like… a celebrity now?"
The fox blinked at the question blandly. "… and you are….?"
"Ha. So funny I ruptured my diaphragm with laughter." He licked an envelope, sealed it.
"Seriously, though, you'd think they know who I am by now."
Tails walked out with a sandwich in hand. "What? You think you can just skip into some CEO's office with a fanfare, open your arms and say 'Here I am!'?"
"No, I tried that already. Apparently I was in every newspaper except the Wallstreet Journal. Plus security guards fight dirty." He took the sandwich from the boy's hand, muttering a sound of thanks and disregarding the pained look of annoyance on his ginger face.
"Well, someone's bound to notice you now. No one can resist the digital portfolio." He picked up one of the custom saw-shaped blue CDs Sonic was sending out with his mailed resumes. "You have to admit, this is good marketing."
"It better be, for what I spent on 'em. If I don't have a job by next week, I'll have to start sellin' it on the street."
"And then Amy would be your best- and only- customer." He half-smiled, tossed the CD back into its respective pile and ventured back into the kitchen to remake his sandwich.
Sonic paused in his mechanical task of folding papers in thirds, sighing deeply. It had been at least two weeks since his "vacation," and he'd tried to put the fresh, warming memories from his mind. He had stamped the word MISTAKE in black ink on the mental file marked Knuckles. He assured himself that nothing had changed. He was still straight. Whatever happened was something of disgust and there were images that shouldn't be revisited. He comforted himself with the excuse that everyone experimented at his age; there was nothing wrong with that. It was a fling and it was over now. Things should fall back into place where they should be.
He picked up his red cell phone, flipping through his contacts to find Sally. He let it ring through to her private line for the fourth time that week.
"Hey. Got a job yet?" she answered.
"Workin' on it. I might have to sell Tails if I don't get one by next week."
"I'm sure some nice family will adopt him. Put him in a sweat shop. Break child labor laws."
"Wow, someone's in a foul mood…" He read the tone in her voice.
"Oh, don't worry about it… royal issues, you know how it is."
"Yeah… Sucks to be you."
"Thanks."
He felt that itching disinterest, like he just wanted to hang up. Somehow the soothing voice he sought just seemed to annoy him.
"S..so, how's ol' Knothole been in my absence?" he continued despite.
"Same shit, different day. What do you expect?"
"Just… trying to make conversa-"
"Listen, babe, I have to go. They need me to sign something."
"Oh…. When can I call you b-"
He heard an abrupt click and a dial tone.
"Bitch…"
He set the phone down, folding his arms on the cluttered coffee table and resting his head on them. He felt trapped, weighed down. Suffocated. And helpless to change it.
"What do you all want from me..? What kind of image am I supposed to live up to? I'm only a mammal…" he muttered into his arms.
He jolted when the doorbell sounded, looking up in the direction of the sound. His body didn't want to move, so he flopped back into the sofa, rubbing his face wearily. "It's open."
The door opened slowly, almost timidly by the slow, soft creak it made. Sonic had his back to it, still drowned in his thoughts, and the soft, gloved hands that slipped to his shoulders caused his eyes to open wide through his fingers.
"Knu-…"
"No what?" a silky voice replied.
Sonic sighed a growl of disappointment.
"Amy…." He whined. She brightened at the sound of her own voice from her obsession's lips, scooting around the sofa to sit sideways in his lap, arms draped around his shoulders. He covered his face again, wondering why his body just wanted to cry at that moment.
"I read your resume. Not bad."
"It's against the law to look through other peoples' mail. Those were supposed to be picked up today." He struggled around the lump in his throat, sounding tired.
She sat there for a moment, studying his distressed countenance with concern. "What's the matter?"
"My life has gone to hell. And you're on my lap."
She got up, somewhat offended, and then tried to cheer him up by digressing the subject to herself. "See the cute outfit I just got? I heard blue was the new red this summer. Oh! And it's like everyone's painting their nails black. Not goth or anything, I think it's like a surfer thing…" she admired her own for a minute, continued, "You know what's funny-"
In looking up, she found herself alone.
"Sonic?"
-0-
Tails knocked at Sonic's door with furrowed brow, a bed-tray with a warm dinner in hand.
"She's gone now… I brought you some food, since you didn't come down…"
He heard a low mumble that sounded like granted entry, so he let himself in.
"Hey, you'll get a job, don't beat yourself up over it…"
"You don't understand, kid." Sonic said from his prone position on his unkempt bed.
Tails' frown deepened. He had that tone again. That annoyed father tone to his voice. He suddenly felt very young and impairingly naive.
"Please eat something, ok?"
Sonic remained with eyes closed in that distraught, despairing expression.
Tails set the tray on his dresser, giving the hedgehog a last, worried glance before closing the door after him.
'He used the word… the L word… he said "LOVE"…
Knuckles of all people….'
He remembered how the echidna's presence used to simply emulate testosterone. He remembered envying the cold, manly, unfeeling nature of him. Of all things, anyone could tell you he was- most of all- violently heterosexual.
'I looked up to you and you never knew… now… what have you become…?'
He opened his eyes in a sneer of disgust.
'You made me your woman….'
And his face drooped to sadness again.
'… you made me like it….'
He shuddered, trying to shed the sudden mental essence of effeminacy.
'I don't feel gay… I don't get it… I feel the same… it's like I don't WANT to mind it… like you're just a closer friend now… but…'
A pang of longing struck him. A single, hot tear slid down his temple.
'but more than that…"friend" doesn't seem to touch it…………
How am I supposed to love you like that?'
-0-
The mess of papers he had begun to sort, mail and fax remained as it was for several days. If he'd gotten a reply to any of the ones he had sent, he wouldn't have known. His computer remained shut down. The mail received stacked unopened on the kitchen table where Tails continued to leave it.
"Sonic, I'm going to open some of these bills… you don't want them to go to collections…" the boy stated through the door, and got no reply as usual.
He didn't know how to react to this completely different person.
On the other side of the white door, Sonic stared at a ten digit number on his cell phone, finger poised on the call button.
He did this about four times a day, sometimes falling asleep with the device in his hand. He told himself each time he gave up, that it would be the last.
Still… in feverish dreams, his fingers remembered the softness of that scarlet fur… his body remembered being invaded….and the dizzying tingling sensation washed over with the brilliance of green… and red… and amethyst…
He was becoming dead inside. An empty, forgotten lock. An abyss.
-0-
Tails was in his garage at his worktable when his sensitive ears picked up the rumble of a motorcycle pulling into the short driveway of the condo.
He peeked out a grungy window to see the rider, one leg supporting the vehicle as he sat in furrowed thought. Tails frowned a bit as well, confused. He wiped his hands with a grease-stained rag, donned his gloves and fluttered to the back door.
"Hey, Knux. What's up? Did you remember to activa-"
"Yeah, the shield's up. No worries. I found Rouge."
He pulled a chaos emerald from his knapsack, handing it to the fox child.
"The other one's on the island. I think it'd be best if we keep them separated for now. I have a feeling she's not the only one that's up to something. Oh, also,"
He produced a green and black DVD case with the telltale Macromedia logo for Dreamweaver.
"Oh! Good, Sonic needed that. I'll take it to him." He held out a hand.
Knuckles pulled back, that uncertain frown staining his brow again. "actually… I wanted to give it to him myself…"
"Good luck. He hasn't been very… well, himself lately. Go on up if you want, but he hasn't left his room for awhile. And I don't think he's bathed, either."
The frown deepened, and he looked pained with worry as he dismounted the bike, carelessly dropping the emerald in Tails' hands as he strode quickly into the condo.
-
Sonic remained seated in the chair he had set in front of his window, dead eyes staring at nothing, as the loud, booming knock resonated through the room.
The door opened sharply. He blinked apathetically, waiting for some angered or worried friend to rush over and demand he come out to join the real world.
"Sonic…"
His eyes widened, his brow creased. Fat lines of moisture built at his lower lids as his vision blurred. He had been waiting for this to happen for a month now, and knew what he was going to say.
"Don't-"
"Wait… before you say anything… I've been thinking too."
"It doesn't feel right… does it?"
"That's what logic's been trying to tell me."
Sonic turned his head, feeling the vertebrae resist in that rusty discomfort from under-use, and beheld the man in his doorway. He was wearing a black leather jacket with a high collar and different gloves- black leather for riding, he would find later, but now… all he felt was a sharp pang of wanting… regret… the battle between mind and heart causing the fat tears to roll down his face staining his fur darker.
Knuckles stepped quickly to his side, kneeling, pulling the blue head to the crook between his neck and shoulder, embracing him in a caress. Sonic felt the coolness on his jacket from outside, smelled the crisp, early fall air in his fur. His heart won the small battle, allowing him to weakly hug back, grasping at his jacket as he sobbed softly.
Then, he pulled the distraught boy into a kiss. The memories flowed back swiftly, logic put away… it felt so right, so right… how could he have ever doubted…
When he finally pulled away, Knux smirked, amethyst eyes sparkling with a little moisture of their own. He looked the boy over.
"You look like shit, man."
"I didn't notice."
He patted him on the back, shaking his shoulder briefly in a friendly gesture. "Let's get you out of this room, huh? Get something to eat."
He nodded, smiling, wiping at his face and sniffling.
(( I can't be bothered to write much more at the moment, so I'm saving the lemon for the next chappie. The gist is that Sonic's knight in black leather came to his rescue and pulled him out of his depression brought on by straight-gay conflict. I'm pretty sure a lot of closet gays go through this… thing is I'm sick of all these yaoi fics where the two subjects just instantly fall in love, regardless of sexual preference in the past. There's no reality to that. Whatever, I have a headache. Time to go eat my diet-friendly what'cha-got soup.
Sonic:; finishing off the pot of said dinner:; this isn't bad, actually. Too many veggies, tho. Where's the beef?
Sigh. Guess I'll just have a salad now.))
