A\N: I had a whole rantish bit here about Christian gay-transforming concentration camps, then I decided to try something a little more in PR-verse. However, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! You REVEIWED!!!


KIM

I hate them.

I hate all of them. They don't realize how much it hurts, not being near Kat, even if she's evil. She understands. She likes me, and...and I like her. Oh, Lord, I must be insane. I've actually fallen in love with the enimy.

"KIMBERLY, YOU SEEM UPSET."

I sigh. "Yeah." I don't want to talk right now.

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT?"

"No."

Zordon pauses, then tries yet another tack. I swear to God I need more freinds like Trini. She took one look at me and said she wasn't touching this with a ten-foot pole. "YOU ARE SURPRISED THAT YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH KATHERINE. SO ARE YOUR FREINDS. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY, HOWEVER."

I clench my teeth down on my first response. Trust me, Zordon didn't need to hear it. "On Earth," I explain carefully, "There's a religion called Christianity. It says that people who fall in love with the same gender are evil."

"SO THE RANGERS ARE CHRISTIANS?"

I snort. "Not unless you count Billy's parents dragging him to church once a week. It just...kinda got in everyone's head."

"THEY DO NOT MIND THAT TOMMY AND JASON HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE."

I sigh. "That's my fault."

Zordon looks about as confused as a blue head in a tube could. "HOW SO?"

"I let them walk all over me. I talk them through their problems, let them act like I'm just a toy they can play with until they're feeling better." I explain coldly. My heart feels like it's turning to ice. "So when they want me to be the perfect little steryotype, either I have to obey or they'll reject me." It hurts. It hurts so much but I can't cry. Why can't I cry? Why can't I feel anything? I want to feel again. Make this stop, God, please...

"THE PINK RANGERS ARE TYPICALLY THE HEARTS OF THE TEAM. PERHAPS IT SIMPLY SURPRISES THEM THAT THE HEART OF THE TEAM IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT THEY EXPECTED."

I should just drop it here. Say, yeah, you're right, Zordon, like always, and let it go. But I won't. I can't. I can't do this anymore. I have to escape. I have to get out of this life everyone's created for me. "No. They'd just let me be if that were it. You wanna know what Tommy said when he kidnapped me? He said he was lucky to get me out of there before Kat hurt me." I laugh bitterly. "This from the guy who's broken my heart with my big brother. This from the guy who thinks my dad's the best person in the world."

"KIMBERLY, YOU ARE BEING HYSTERICAL." Zordon says gently. "PLEASE LISTEN. TOMMY DID NOT MEAN TO HURT YOU. HE IS YOUNG AND FOOLISH."

"And I'm supposed to be the bigger person, right?" I snarl. "Do you even hear yourself? I'm not being hysterical, I'm thinking for myself, for the first time in my godamned life!"

Zordon sighs. I guess it must be frusterating, knowing that the person you struggled to mold refuses to be placated by empty words. "KIMBERLY, YOU ARE THE BETTER PERSON. RAGE DOES NOT BECOME YOU."

I storm away.

The Command Center has about a hundred levels. I can get lost pretty easily in any of them. This time, though, I head for the roof. The door opens easily to my touch, so Zordon is actually as stupid as I thought. He doesn't know how often I think about jumping.

I stand on the edge of the roof, the wind shoving me upright. It whips my clothes back, and I smile, tugging the belly shirt Tommy got for me down a bit. I swear, for a gay guy, the boy has no taste.

I look down. What would it be like to jump? To feel the wind letting me fly, just for a minute, then the thud...

Maybe I should jump. Maybe I should just keep them from hurting me any more. Then there wouldn't be any more pain, either, no more of the other's constant needieness, no more worry that Billy won't wake up or that Tommy will hurt himself.

I sigh, sitting down, facing away from the edge. The tiny wall on the edge presses against my back, and I roll up my sleeves. The scars are still there, along with a newer cut. Kat didn't notice--I kept her away from my arms. They're pain, the pain of all the Rangers cut into my skin.

Now I have my own pain to mark.

I slip the knife from its hiding place. I always come up here when I'm upset, so it became the place where I cut. I slowly move the knife up my arm, not letting it touch the skin until it reaches almost my shoulder. I set the knife against the skin and slowly slide it back and forth.

The pain is sharp and sweet. I feel the overwhelming darkness in me slowly sliding away, feel the pain start taking it. Blood appears, and I cut deeper. I need this. I need the blood, the pain.

I stop quickly, suddenly realizing that it can't bleed too much or Zordon will find out. I wipe the knife off, putting the blade away. My arm burns, and I enjoy the feeling, the feeling of existing, of being real and whole, just for a minute. One cut, and I'm all better.

I touch the other scars. Tommy's pain of being forced to kill. Jason's pain of fighting alongside someone who nearly killed me. Trini's pain of being always the parent, always the mediator. Billy's pain of being shy and scared of the world. Zack's pain of fear, of losing any battle. They're all written on my arms, the ones I love, and it's appropriate, that they can twist my mind into tearing my body apart when they twisted my soul into tearing my heart open.

I wonder what pain Kat will give me when the others accept her.

I stand up suddenly. No. They won't give me any more pain, any more scars.

I'm leaving them forever.

I set my morpher down on the rooftop and start climbing. There's a way to climb down from here, one Tommy found after Jason dared him to jump off. When I hit the sandy ground, my feet start running for me. I don't want to be caught.

It's a long way back to Angel Grove, but I can make it. Where else would I go?

So hang on, Kat. I'm coming for you.

And maybe we can have a happy ending after all.