Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, ok! Jeez, stop asking me already! If I owned it I wouldn't be writing crappy versions of it!

Chapter 7: 'Unfortunately?'

--------------------------

Well, that had been Kyo's plan, but as he arrived at the foot of the stairs he realized his plan might not actually work.

Ayame and Shigure were strewn across the floor, a number of bottles that had previously contained alcoholic drinks, mainly Saké, lying next to them.

Kyo stared at them both in disgust. It wasn't hard to figure out what had happened.

Obviously Ayame and Shigure had gotten drunk, and from the looks of the rest of the house - which was completely trashed – they had had a party.

The two responsible for the mess were both face down on the floor, completely passed out.

Kyo walked over to them, and without any hesitation, he kicked each of them in the side.

Shigure let out a loud whimper, but Ayame remained silent, and both men were still entirely out of it.

Kyo rubbed the back of his head. "You dumbasses. Now I have to clean up after you two." He complained.

With hardly any effort, he rolled Ayame and Shigure over so their backs were against the floor, instead of their faces.

Shigure and Ayame looked more then worse for wear. Saké was dribbling out of their open mouths, and their clothes were almost falling off their bodies.

Kyo looked at them in pure revulsion. "And they call themselves adults. Getting so drunk that they throw a party and then pass out isn't mature." He said out loud.

After staring at them for another minute, Kyo gave up. "I hate to admit this, but I can't move you both and clean on my own. I'm not waking Tohru up for this, and the rat can't clean. But I can clean better then the rat, and he's…strong." Kyo admitted grudgingly.

"So he can move you both, while I take care of your mess. Be grateful you bastards." He finished.

He kicked both of them again, getting no reaction from either, then trudged upstairs, not looking forward to asking Yuki for help.

-------------L-I-N-E--B-R-E-A-K-------------

Kyo stood in front of Yuki's door.

On top of being the cat's mortal enemy, the rat of the zodiac was also the one who had taken Tohru from Kyo. It was hard going through with this.

But then again, if Tohru ever learned what Ayame and Shigure had done, then Kyo would never forgive himself.

Hesitantly, Kyo reached out, and then knocked on Yuki's door softly.

There was no response from the other side, so Kyo knocked harder.

A faint stir could be heard, but it was obvious Yuki still wasn't awake.

"Damn rat! Wake up!" Kyo shouted through the door quietly.

A groan issues from Yuki's mouth, along with an incoherent mutter that sounded suspiciously like "Stupid Cat."

Kyo smirked. "You awake yet girly man? Come downstairs. There's something you need to see." He said curtly, and then walked back downstairs.

-------------L-I-N-E--B-R-E-A-K-------------

Kyo was surprised to see Shigure standing and wobbling around the room when he arrived back on the first floor.

Shigure blinked as he spotted Kyo. "We-ell Hewwo Kibby-kun!" He managed to get out, stumbling toward the boy.

Kyo stuck his hands out so Shigure couldn't reach him. "Don't touch me or talk to me you shit head." He said angrily, pushing Shigure to the ground, where Ayame was still laying.

Shigure crawled around, too drunk to get back up. "Okies Kibby-kun. I no touchie you." He giggled, barely able to speak.

Kyo just stared at Shigure. "And I thought you didn't act your age before. This is pathetic." He said. Given the circumstances, the cursed cat was acting surprisingly calm.

Then a noise from upstairs grabbed Kyo's attention, and he went to the foot of the stairs to look.

Sure enough, there was Yuki, taking an enormous effort to drag himself downstairs.

In fact, he was only on the second step, and moving at an excruciatingly slow rate.

"Finally you damn rat! I thought you'd never get your ass down here!" Kyo growled.

Yuki looked at Kyo blankly, not by any means awake. "You…you…that is…"

Suddenly Yuki fell against the wall, once more fast asleep.

Cat ears appeared on Kyo's head. "Wake up dammit!" He shouted wildly. "Get your ass in gear! Your stupid brother is still here!" He hissed, now quieting down and hoping his shouting hadn't woken Tohru.

At Kyo's words Yuki's eyes flew open. "What did you say?" He asked quickly.

The orange-haired boy suppressed a smirk. "Your brother is here." He repeated.

A look of horror crossed Yuki's face. "Nii-san?" He asked incredulously. "I thought we got rid of him last night."

Kyo shook his head. "Nope. Turns out him and Shigure decided to get drunk and have a party." He muttered.

Yuki pushed his hair back from his forehead. "I see. And we're left to clean up the mess, correct?"

"Yep."

-------------L-I-N-E--B-R-E-A-K-------------

Yuki finally arrived downstairs, and the two boys began to work out a plan. "I'll take care of Nii-san and Shigure, and you pick up the mess."

Kyo grimaced, but agreed, and both went to work.

Yuki looked between the two men on the ground, Shigure still crawling around on the ground.

Seeing this, Yuki instantly decided it would be easier to start with Ayame.

He grabbed his brother by his feet and began dragging him toward the door, then slid it open and threw the still-unconscious Ayame outside, not caring much if he was hurt or not.

Kyo ran around the house, picking up the bottles of Saké and other drinks that he just didn't want to know what they were.

Going into the kitchen, Kyo dumped all of it into the trashcan, looking at it with disgust.

"And now I gotta throw the trash out so Tohru doesn't see it." Kyo muttered. "I remember when Shigure told me he never got drunk. Lying asswipe."

Kyo kicked the wall angrily, but his foot felt greater pain then the wall ever would.

Not that the cat actually noticed the injury.

The boy had actually become very good at blocking out pain, thanks to Yuki, though Kyo would never admit it.

Still fuming, Kyo picked up the trashcan and lugged it outside, looking for a place to put it.

What he didn't see what that Yuki has already thrown Ayame out there as well, and so the hot-tempered teen tripped spectacularly over Ayame's almost lifeless body, the trash spilling all over the ground.

"SHIT!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, at the same time doing a face plant.

In disgust, Kyo spat out a mouthful of dirt he had almost swallowed. "I hate this!" He screeched, jumping to his feet and breathing heavily.

One, two, three times he kicked Ayame's body. "I almost pity the rat for having you as a brother!" He shouted, and then realized what he had said.

"Almost. I'm just glad you're not mine!"

He moved the trash back into a pile and snatched it up again. "Why'd ya both have to go and destroy the house?" He asked Ayame irritably, not really caring that the snake couldn't answer.

"I mean, you know Tohru's the one who usually cleans up our messes! You should show her more respect! And you might as well show Shigure's house more respect too! I can't believe that idiot did this to his own house! How dumb can you get?"

He was still ranting when Ayame suddenly sat up.

The cursed snake stared at Kyo for a long moment, blinking stupidly. "Kyonkichi?" He asked.

Kyo, who had turned his back to Ayame during the whole speech, broke off and quickly turned around quickly as he heard the older man speak.

"I told you not to call me that!" The orange-haired one exclaimed. Then confusion crossed his face, and he jumped back, dropping the trash on the ground once more. "CRAP! YOU'RE AWAKE!"

Ayame laughed; a laugh that quickly turned into a cough. "Not for long I don't think. My head hurts so very much." He explained.

Kyo rubbed the back of his own head. "But you don't even sound drunk. You sound, y'know, like a not-drunk person." He remarked.

Ayame shrugged slightly. "I've always been one to recover quickly after being drunk. Now I just have to wait for this hangover to end. But one thing that always happens after situations such as these…"

A loud bang occurred and smoke appeared all around. In the middle of the smoke you could see Ayame, now writhing about in snake form.

"I always transform!" He announced happily.

Kyo crouched down next to Ayame. "Yeah, I can tell. Do you even remember what happened last night?" He asked, trying to remain calm.

Ayame moved his head from side to side. "No, not really." He confessed.

Kyo hung his head. "I didn't think so."

Then, with great effort, the younger boy lifted his head. "I just hope you'd be ashamed of yourself if you remembered."

Ayame, still in snake form, raised his slender body up so he could look Kyo in the eyes.

"Kyonkichi, do not make the mistake of thinking I meant disrespect to Tohru-kun, or Gure-san's house." He warned.

Kyo blinked. "How'd you know…? Wait where you listening?" He asked, not sure if he should be angry or surprised.

Ayame bobbed his head up and down and then snaked, pardon the pun, his way up to Kyo, eventually curling himself around Kyo's arm, much to the cat's displeasure.

"What're you doin'?" Kyo asked distastefully.

Ayame continued slithering up Kyo's arm, his scales really rubbing the orange-haired boy the wrong way, no pun intended that time.

In fact, Kyo was thoroughly creeped out by Ayame's odd behavior. "I really hope this is the hangover talking or something." The one of the two present who was not drunk muttered.

The silver snake finally finished his journey, and settled comfortably around Kyo's neck. "Kyonkichi, there's no need to worry! Surely you realize a snake cannot walk as fast as a human. In fact, a snake cannot walk at all!"

With a long deep laugh, Ayame promptly blinked his reptilian eyes. "Now, Kyonkichi, take me into the house so I may see what havoc my lover and I have caused."

Kyo shuddered at the fact that he still had the snake around his neck, but he complied anyways.

-------------L-I-N-E--B-R-E-A-K-------------

Leaving the trash where it was, mostly because it had been forgotten, Kyo slid open the door and stepped into the house. "Ok dumbass, take a real good look at what you did." He demanded.

If reptiles such as snakes were capable of facial expression, you can be sure Ayame would have been making a pouting face similar to Shigure's. "No need for such language." He chided Kyo.

"Just look!" Kyo growled.

Again, once more, you could imagine the hurt expression on Ayame's face, but the snake loosened his grip on Kyo's neck and swept his gaze around the room, comprehending quickly what had gone on.

With a small sigh, Ayame lowered his body back around Kyo's neck. "A tragedy, really." Ayame said sadly. "Such a lovely house, reduced to ruins by a couple of drunken men."

Kyo nodded. "Damn straight." He was quick to agree.

The one cursed by the cat couldn't resist smirking, though the comment about the house reminded him that he still had to clean it.

"Now what the hell are you gonna do while me and the rat take care of this mess and deal with your buddy?" Kyo asked.

Ayame thought about it for but a moment. "Shall I help?" He offered.

"No." The fast reply came, though it wasn't Kyo's voice.

Kyo turned in surprise, stopping quickly as he saw Yuki standing in the doorway.

Yuki stepped forward, keeping his gaze even with Ayame. "Nii-san, I can't say I'm glad to see you right now."

Kyo, realizing Ayame was still wrapped around his neck, quickly ripped the snake off, not exactly gently, and threw him at Yuki.

Yuki, of course, just took a step back, making Ayame fall just short of him and plummet toward the ground.

Ayame had his own fun on the way down to the wooden floor. "Weeeeee!" He sang as he went, then fell quiet as he hit the floor face first.

Kyo and Yuki both stared at Ayame's once more practically lifeless body, the only difference from before being that Ayame was now in snake form.

"So what should we do with him?" Kyo asked Yuki.

Yuki didn't even hesitate. "I'd like to burn his body to a crisp, but Shigure might not take very kindly to that at the moment, so for now I say we shove Nii-san in a closet with some clothes for when he changes back. We'll lock the closet of course."

Kyo shrugged. "Yeah, I guess that works. So does that mean Shigure's still awake?" He asked.

Yuki grimaced, picking the silent snake up off the floor. He walked toward the closet and opened it, then threw his brother into the closet before hesitating.

He still hadn't answered Kyo's question, and that was making the other boy more nervous then anything.

"Kyo." Yuki said suddenly.

"Whaaat?" Came the dragged out and irritable reply.

"Give me your shirt."

"WHAT!"

Yuki glanced at Kyo. "Nii-san needs clothes for when he changes back."

"Well yeah but why's it gotta be me! Use your own damn clothes!"

"No."

"Damn rat! Why do I gotta do it!"

"Because I said so."

"I Hate You." Kyo snarled, but he took off his shirt anyways, throwing it at Yuki, who caught it and tossed it into the closet next to Ayame before closing the door and locking it.

"That was my favorite shirt. And now it has to be burned later." Kyo muttered.

Yuki ignored Kyo's complaining. "Back to your question earlier, 'Does that mean Shigure's still awake'…Unfortunately, yes." He replied.

Kyo blinked. "'Unfortunately?'" He echoed questioningly, his curiosity getting the better of his anger for the moment.

The rat nodded. His only explanation was: "You better come see this." Then he turned around the left the room.

Kyo stood there for a moment in total confusion before following Yuki.

Meanwhile Ayame was left to rot in the closet, still in snake form.

-------------L-I-N-E--B-R-E-A-K-------------

Kyo almost ran into Yuki as the latter came to a sudden stop.

"Damn rat what the hell was--?"

Kyo was cut off quickly as Yuki covered the cat's mouth and raised his other hand to point toward the middle of the room.

Now silent, Kyo's gaze followed where Yuki was pointing, and he instantly shut his eyes.

Unfortunately, his ears worked just fine.

Let's go over what Kyo saw before he closed his eyes.

Shigure was dancing with a pole in the middle of the room. But not just regular dancing. He was dancing with a pole. And taking off his clothes slowly. His kimono was already around his waist. On top of dancing with said pole, he was also kissing it passionately.

"Aaya please don't ever leave me!" Shigure moaned in between kisses. "If you leave me my life shall be ruined!"

Sadly this was the part Kyo could still hear, along with kissing noises.

"Yuki?" Kyo asked him loudly, getting his words past the boy's hand.

"Yes?"

"I think I'm gonna be sick."'

Yuki quickly took his hand away from Kyo's mouth. "You're not exactly the only one. What are we supposed to do?" He asked. It was to his amazement and relief that Tohru had not woken up yet.

Kyo shrugged. "We could always just kill them both?" He offered, but Yuki shook his head.

"No…it's too suspicious, or else I would."

Kyo's face fell. "Good point."

It had to be the best the two had ever gotten along. Too bad it would probably never happen again.

Suddenly, Shigure stopped what he was doing and stood very still.

Yuki and Kyo stared at him in shock before Shigure opened his mouth.

"Tohru-KUN! COME DOWNSTAIRS PLEASE! IT'S TIME FOR BREAKFAST!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.

No!

Shit!

Both boys looked up as they heard movement coming from upstairs.

And both knew it was Tohru, and chances were she would be coming downstairs at any moment.

--------------------------

Author Notes: Check out the new pen name…again. Name's Aaron this time around. Yeah, I get bored easy. Criticize my writing all you want, but I just like humor, even if it is sick. And I'm working on a few other stories at the same time, so Chapter 8 might take a little longer, but it will come.