Note to readers: Of course I'm not going to kill Seto Kaiba. I'm an Eric Stuart fan. Duh. I'm not that mean. SIREN NOISE! WOOOOO! ATTENTION! Apparently "hikari" is not the technical term for people such as Yugi, Ryou, and Marik…I've recently learned they are "omotes." However, the technical term for the way I feel about this new information is "I don't give a damn." I'm still calling them hikaris. Oh, and while you're here, tell your friends about this story. It is hungry for reviews, and you know you love me. -Namiko

Chapter Seven
"Is He Dead?"

Guess I gotta go get Mokuba, Seto Kaiba thought to himself. He stumbled into the candy store, looked around, and spotted his brother. He was with Bakura, who was holding a Pixy Stick.

"Hey, Kaiba!" he shouted. "Lookie here!" Seto trudged over to Bakura. "It's a Pixy Stick".

"NO DUH," Bakura sneered. "Pixy Stix are my favorite kind of candy." He grabbed four more and went to the counter. Mokuba smiled. "He's gonna be stoned."

Seto shrugged. "Do we really have to hang out with these weirdoes?" he asked his brother. Mokuba nodded. Seto sighed. "I guess it is your birthday, but I don't know why you like these nerds anyway." Mokuba giggled and pointed to Bakura. He was sniffing Pixy Sticks and sneezing. "That's why I like Bakura." Then he glanced at Yugi and Yami, who were punching each other over who got the last Push Pop. "I like Yugi and Yami because even though they fight sometimes, they're like brothers and they like each other a lot. They're really nice to everyone." Next, he noticed Ryou and Marik quietly scooping out chocolates with the little metal shovel. "I like them because they are really polite and willing to help you with anything. Also, they can deal with Bakura and Malik." Joey, Malik, and Tristan were sitting behind some boxes shouting "OOGA BOOGA!" at passers-by. "Joey's nice, but he's got no sense in him. Tristan's always doing whatever Joey says, but he's cool. Malik…I don't know why, but I just like Malik."

"What about Tea?" Seto inquired.
"Nobody likes her except Yami and the mailman." Mokuba reached for the metal scooper and fished out some caramels. He put them into a bag and headed for the counter. Seto began to follow his brother, but then he heard an almost drunken voice drawling, "Kaaaiiibaaaa…Kaaaiiibaaa…I betz I can dooo more Pixy Schtix than yoouuu...!" Kaiba meandered over to Bakura and said, "Bakura, I know you're just messing with me. I'm not sniffing any Pixy Stix. It doesn't do anything to you."

Bakura screamed, "YESH IT DOEZ, KAIBA! I BETCHU FIVE DOLLAZ IT WILL MAKE YOU SOOPER HAIIGH! I'LL EVEN BUY YOU THE PIXY SCHTIX."

Let me tell you something about Seto Kaiba: he's a sucker for cash. Old Seto saw the opportunity to make some money, so he said, "All right, Bakura. I accept your challenge." The two of them shook hands. "Mokuba, go play 'Ooga Booga' with your friends." Mokuba jubilantly hid behind the boxes with Joey, Malik, and Tristan. Seto purchased six Pixy Stix for himself – one more than Bakura bought - and sat down beside Bakura.

"I'm on my second one," Bakura told him. "You try it."

Seto carefully tore the top of the wrapper and pulled it off. He bit the Pixy Stick open and took a sniff. Bakura snorted some more. Seto inhaled even deeper. Bakura put all of the candy in the tube down his left nostril and hacked loudly and harshly. Seto put half in his left nostril and half in his right. When Bakura was done coughing, he said, "Now I've schniffed two Pixy Schtix and you've schniffed one." Seto replied, "I can dooo anotherrr," beginning to drawl from the high. They each opened another Pixy Stick and sniffed.

"OOGA BOOGA!" Joey, Malik, Tristan, and Mokuba screamed as a seventy-two-year-old woman passed by. Ryou and Marik apologized to the old woman and then they screamed, "OH MY GAWD, IS HE DEAD?"

Seto Kaiba was lying on the ground unconscious. Bakura was laughing his ass off. "He owes me five dollars."

"That doesn't matter right now! Did you do this to him?" Marik shrieked. Bakura said, "Sort of," and explained everything to Marik and Ryou. "Oh, my gawd," Ryou said. Malik, Joey, Tristan, and Mokuba came out from behind the boxes, and once Marik calmed Mokuba down, everything was okay. Yami, Yugi, and Tea joined the group. "Hey, I know how to wake Kaiba up!" Yugi told them. Malik put Seto on his back. "Follow me," said Yugi. When they arrived where Yugi led them, all that Yami could say was "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, YUGI?" All Yugi could do was say, "just watch," and he acted so out-of-character that you're going to have to wait until the next chapter to learn what he did.